


The Ark bathhouse

by Metalqueen



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, American Football, Angst, Band Fic, Confusion, F/F, Family, Femslash February, Fluff, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Multi, Music, Party, Polyamory, References to Drugs, Romance, Smut, Sports, Strap-Ons, Swimming, Threesome - F/F/F, Touring, Violence, handball, role-playing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2018-05-19 13:20:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 59
Words: 86,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5968711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Metalqueen/pseuds/Metalqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke is a swim instructor for children and also an art-student. Lexa is the commander of the police and also the mother of a 4-year old. These two women get to know each other during swimming classes and sport-events. Love is in the air! There will be loads of fluff and some smut too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blue eyes in blue water

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first published fanfic and I don't have a beta so any help would be welcomed! I hope you enjoy it as much as I do, and English is not my native language so I apologize for any spelling- or grammar errors.

**Clarke**

Walking towards her friend’s car Clarke contemplated her life. She had been an art student at college for two years now and been a swim-teacher for much longer. During her 25 years on this earth she had been an elite swimmer, started tutoring kids, been studying and only once had a real relationship. She had also been fooling around with a guy whom later she realized were together with her friend, Raven. When the both girls realized what he had done to them, they both stopped talking to him. The closest she had to a partner was her now colleague at the swim-school Sophie. The both of them had been dating and even got engaged for quite some time but it ended because Clarke wanted to remain in the closet. Clarke regretted that decision almost every day though.

Her friend parked her moss-green SAAB right in front of her. Clarke opened the door with force and put her backpack in her lap as she sat down comfortably in the leather seat. Sophie sat at the driver seat and sent the blonde a wide smile. She was wearing a pair of Ray bans, a black beanie and a black leather jacket, looking as gay as ever.

“Hey there sport!” Sophie said a little too happily.

“Hello, and thanks for driving me.” Clarke said honestly thinking about how boring it would be going to the bathhouse herself every other day.

“No problem, it’s better for the environment this way you know.” Sophie changed the music on the car stereo from some screaming power metal or something to more civilized music like her party playlist, probably remembering the fact that Clarke didn't care much for her real taste in music.

They were sort of carpooling. One training Sophie drive them both to the bathhouse and the other it was Clarke’s turn. Sophie started talking about a party she was throwing this weekend and she asked Clarke to join in and bring some friends. Clarke couldn't say no to her, so she texted her best friends Octavia and Raven about the party and they both said yes. Which made Clarke and her travelling partner get really excited about the weekend. Sadly though, it was still only Tuesday.

“You brought the gym gear right?” Sophie looked at Clarke who suddenly remembered why she liked this girl, but she tried to shake of the feeling of regret.

“Yeah of course, I’m going to the gym with my PT, I’ve got to step up my game.” Clarke pointed to her yoga pants.

“Definitely, were going to find ourselves some ladies, and for that we’ve got to stay in shape.”

Clarke hummed in agreement, thinking of the weird fact that her ex was her best wing-man.

They entered the bathhouse and walked straight to the gym, Clarke sporting some tight yoga pants and a tank top. Sophie wore a pair of basket shorts and a big sweater, not really showing of those great muscles of hers. They warm up doing some rowing, before starting their leg day. Sophie taking her PT-role seriously, telling and showing Clarke how to do the exercises properly.

 

After the gym they took a quick shower and changed to bathing suits. Sophie commented on the nice asses she saw at the gym while Clarke agreed with her. Sometimes her friend was a real man’s pig, or woman’s pig? She wasn’t sure that was even a thing.

“Well, I think your ass was the best one there though,” Clarke said winking at Sophie who turned blood red.

“I know right,” Sophie said trying to stay cool. “Let’s get the things and start our classes now.”

They both put on T-shirts who told people they were swim instructors and Clarke went to get the files with the children’s names. She sighed as Sophie went to get some equipment they needed. They were supposed to be three instructors but the third one hadn’t got there yet, the guy seemed to be irresponsible, why were he even hired? Murphy was almost never there so Clarke and her friend always had to take care of twelve children by themselves.

  
It was the second lesson of the term and most of the kids were there the first lesson so they knew the rules and everything. Clarke sat down by the water, watching the twelve kids before her, saying the names in the file as she marked the kids who were there. The instructors jumped down into the water and started with a game for the kids.

When it was time for the fourth and last lesson of the evening everything had been working properly, the kids had had fun and learnt to swim a bit better. The teachers were a bit tired though and Sophie held the call up as Clarke stood a bit away, drinking some water. As she heard a small, but stern voice. When she turned around she saw a tall, slim brunette with the greenest eyes and the widest smile she had ever seen.

“Excuse me, we missed the first lesson, and I hope we didn’t miss anything?” The green eyed woman put some of her brown locks behind her ear.

Clarke had to clear her throat a bit, since her brain suddenly had stopped working. She watched the brunette, her tight band T and black slim jeans, tattoos… she looked like a dream. Clarke managed to look at the child by her side too, the child was tanned, brown eyed and had even curlier hair than her mom.

“Yeah, you didn’t miss much, has she taken swimming lessons before?”

“No, this is her first term, she is only 4 years old.”

“What’s your name sweetheart?” Clarke asked the kid as she sat down next to her.

“My name’s Cora.” The little girl looked confidently at Clarke.

“A beautiful name, I am Clarke and I am going to be your teacher this term.” She stood back up, looking at Cora's mom.

“Oh, and I am Lexa.” They shook hands and Clarke felt a burning sensation were Lexa touched her and her stomach started to do some kind of backflips.

“You can follow me and sit by your friends Cora.”

“Have fun kid,” Lexa said as Clarke and Cora leaved to sit by the others.

After the call up, they went about as they should with the lesson. Clarke felt someone’s eyes on her all the time, especially when helping Cora. She didn't dare to meet those eyes though, because whenever she failed to hold her eyes away, those green eyes sent sparks through her entire body. As they played a game called treasure hunt Clarke and Sophie were able to talk a bit. The game consisted of the children diving under water and getting some rubber rings, giving them to their teachers. The optimal game for when they needed some breathing or talking time. So Clarke told Sophie about the young, hot mother sitting not so far away, starring at her.

“Yeah, well, she looks extremely good. I wouldn’t say no to her.” Sophie chuckled as she saw Clarke ears and cheeks turning red. “She seems to be a good girl too, Arch enemy is a great metal band and every metal head knows that metal heads are good people.”

“Oh, her shirt, it says Arch enemy. That’s the band you always listened to?”

“Not all the time.”

They need to keep their conversation short and keep going with the lesson. Everything afterwards went flawlessly.


	2. Lexa's non-existing gaydar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is already falling head over heels for Clarke.
> 
> Or
> 
> The chapter were we get to meet the father of Lexa's child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still have no beta, but I felt productive today so I'm providing another chapter for this series.

**Lexa**

Before Lexa even got there she thought it would be insufferable just sitting watching some kids splashing around. Seeing the well-shaped teachers holding the class made everything a bit better though.

"Lexa you perv, most of these teachers are like 16 or something, hope these are older than 20 anyway," She thought to helself. 

The way that blue eyed had made her feel just talking to her, it made her insides warm and bubbly. It was like fireworks as they shook hands and her voice sounded like the one of an angel. Why did she feel like this five minutes after meeting a sweet girl?

“Fuck it Lexa, you have a kid, you can’t think like this”, Lexa thought. Listening to some Arch enemy in her headphones, “As the pages burn” would always be one of her favorite songs.

Cora waved at her as she made some backstrokes with the help of Clarke. Lexa waved back catching the blue eyes with hers, feeling her throat get more sore and dry than ever before. Clarke’s hair laid slicked at her head because of the water, her bottom and boobs looked really squeezable and perfect in the bathing suit. She couldn’t help but keep looking at her, trying to look away. Lexa saw the other swim teacher look at her, she seemed to have much darker hair than Clarke and she had really defined muscles and loads of tattoos, even more than Lexa herself.

After class Lexa wanted to get home as quickly as possible, but Cora seemed to really like her new swim teachers so she stayed in the water with them for a while. The mom arose from her chair and called to her daughter to exit the pool. The same time Lexa reached the edge of the pool Clarke elevated herself from it, the water streaming down her curved body. Lexa forgot to breathe for a while before she started to dry her daughter with the towel.

“Our teachers are both nice and cute,” Cora stated as she turned to look seriously at her mom. “You really need to find another partner mom.”

Lexa could feel her whole face, and maybe her whole body burn and turn red. This girl was way too smart for her, it was definitely from her other mom. She cursed Costia also for the bluntness she had let Cora inherit. Lexa looked at Clarke who looked quite uncomfortable.

“Your daughter did well today, I’ll see you around next week.”

Lexa didn’t even have time to think when Clarke turned to go. She grabbed her wrist, leaving her a business card with her number.

“Please call me someday, maybe you could help me improving my swimming skills?” The blue eyed girl looked shocked but nodded at that.

“Sure, it’ll be my pleasure.” Clarke grabbed the business card and walked towards her colleague.

When walking towards the dressing room Lexa couldn’t let go of the images of the young woman who taught her daughter to swim. How the water dripped from her body rising from the water, her skin against hers…

“Mum, I know the other swim teacher” Cora tugged at Lexa’s arm.

“Oh, kid, how?” Lexa wasn’t really surprised, her daughter had the best memory of everyone she had ever met.

“She lives with daddy.”

 

The next day Lexa got to quit work earlier than expected and drove over to Cora’s day care. Sighing to herself because she felt like a teenager again. Thinking about a girl she had just met, all the time, her colleagues at the police station had also noticed. She wasn’t herself, smiling without a reason, thinking about the name Clarke Griffin. Clarke had texted her an hour ago.

 **Clarke Griffin**  
**_14.03_**  
_Hi! This is Clarke Griffin, Cora’s swim instructor. Just wondered when you wanted your private lessons?_

Lexa had gotten quite the naughty insinuations of the text, but pretended not to miscalculate what she just read. Maybe Clarke didn’t know it could be misunderstood in a dirtier way. She had thought of an answer the last hour. While heading out from her car to go get her daughter she did press send.

 **Lexa Woods**  
**_15.03_**  
_Hi Clarke! Glad you texted, I am actually free this evening. Do you have any plans?_

Now she actually got nervous. Cora was going to stay at her father’s this night and Lexa had nothing planned. Anxiety just hit her as she realized that maybe she was too pushy with this woman. They did just meet anyway. What if she scared her off before she even got the chance to get to know her?

As Lexa approached the door of the Day Care she felt her heart ease up a bit as her daughter opened the door flinging around her neck in a big hug. She had a casual conversation with the teachers who said everything had gone fine this day and that the girl wished to have swimming lessons more often.

Lexa looked down at her beautiful little girl. She was a perfect mix of her parents, the curly brown hair and brown eyes and the strength and determination of her dad. A string of sadness hit Lexa as she thought about the kid’s biological mother who left them way too early. If it hadn’t been for Cora she would probably never have been able to cope with the death of her wife.

When they got home Lexa and Cora packed so Cora could stay at her dad’s place for a while. They normally switched during weekends but her father had been on a business trip for a long time and now he wanted to see his little ray of sunlight again.  
Lexa didn’t want to think about the fact that she would have to be alone for the first night in a month. She looked up the new address she was going to take Cora to, it seemed to be in a fancy area.

“I will finally see daddy again!” Cora shrieked as they got out of the car.

Looking up at what felt like a massive mansion, Lexa realized the little apartment she was renting needed to be replaced sooner or later.

The house that stood before her had green wooden boards and straw roof, the garden was large at the front of the house. A Porsche and a SAAB stood parked on the drive way. Beautiful flowers were everywhere, Lexa couldn’t help but wonder who actually lived in a place like this. She and her daughter walked up to the front porch, Cora wearing her own backpack and Lexa carrying a bigger bag for her. Cora knocked at the door knob and after a few seconds a redheaded woman with side cut opened the door.

 _ **“I’ve got a bad reputation, I’ve got it bad, bad, bad,”**_ came screaming from the speakers inside, Adelitas way and their song Bad reputation, one of the bands Lexa herself appreciated.

“Oh, hi!” Lexa said as she recognized the woman in front of her. “You are Cora’s other swim teacher right?”

“Yeah, welcome! I’m Sophie”, the two grown-ups shook hands before Sophie kneeled to give Cora a real bear hug.

“Nice to know my dad moved in with such a cool lady!” Cora said before releasing the red head.

Lexa scrutinized the appearance of the woman before her. She wore a tight T-shirt and a pair of what seemed to be American football pants. Her sleeves looked way better in this light than in the bathhouse. The three of them stepped inside the door and Sophie closed it.

“Lincoln!” Sophie yelled loudly as she looked to the second floor of the house. “Stop playing WiiU and come down, your daughter is here!”

Lexa couldn’t stop to think of why Lincoln had decided to move in with someone. As a tall, muscled man appears with a big smile on his face and nice eyes she remembered why he was one of her best friends. Lincoln pulled his daughter into a hug of the century. Lexa stood there watching, feeling the affection for them both. But she couldn’t help herself from asking…

“So, are you two together?” A question making both Sophie and Lincoln laughing whole heartedly and landing on their buts on the floor.

“Nice one Lexa!” Lincoln dried tears from his cheeks before he gave Lexa a welcoming hug. “No, we’re friends. My friend here is even gayer than you.”

“Oh, sorry”, Lexa blamed her non-existent gaydar for this embarrassment.

“You know, I just needed a new place and Sophie here had a big house all to herself. So, here we are.”


	3. Thoughts in the sauna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke is meeting for a swim lesson
> 
> Or 
> 
> The time when Clarke is consumed by other thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since it's Friday tomorrow I thought you guys needed some more drama in your lives, so this chapter is more emotional than the two first. Discussions of coming out and heartbreak. 
> 
> I would like to thank you for all the kudos and love you're giving me, it's really motivating!

**Clarke**

Clarke had just answered Lexa that she was free this evening and that they could meet and go to the Ark together. Nervous as ever before she paced around in the apartment. Both of her roommates, Raven and Octavia watched her closely.

“You are just going to teach this woman to swim, you are not going to marry her today!” Raven muttered as she threw a crumpled paper at Clarke.

“But why did I agree to let her pick me up?” Clarke pondered as Octavia and Raven rolled their eyes. “I mean, I have my own car.”

“Isn’t it that you are seriously nervous to strip in front of her or what?” Octavia commented as she rolled her eyes at her friend.

Clarke looked between her both dark haired friends, Ravens brown eyes scanning her and Octavia’s blue ones looking concerned. She sighed as she went to grab a bikini, or bath suit? It was not a kid she would teach, so maybe a bikini would be better?

“Bikini or bathing suit?” Clarke shouted at her friends from her bedroom.

“Bikini!” The other two yelled in a choir.

“Sexy, or…” She is not able to finish her sentence.

“Not too sexy!” Clarke sighed as she put on a black bikini which truly suited her body perfectly. She went on a mini catwalk to gain her friends approval, the both of them growled like wolves, making the model laugh. She went to put on a shirt, jeans and pack the last things before heading to the fridge.

“Not to ruin anything but…You have like 5 minutes C.” Octavia said making Clarke pick a banana to eat hastily before going out the door, shouting a quick goodbye to her friends before they could tease her.

Walking out of their apartment she saw a large black SUV standing outside in the parking lot. Checking her cell for the time she realized she was several minutes late. She hoped she hadn’t messed up too much before anything could even happen with the young mother.

“This car must be the one”, she looked to the driver’s seat.

It was definitely the brown haired woman she met yesterday. She looked bored and rather unhappy until she realized Clarke opened the door to the passenger seat.

“Hi! Um, sorry I’m late”, Clarke said as she buckled her belt.

“Oh, hi!” Lexa started the engine before she looked at Clarke with a sweet grin, making Clarke’s heart thump faster. “It’s okay, I haven’t waited for long.”

Clarke looked at the woman next to her, she wore a lot of eyeliner and mascara, and she wondered if she knew it would get smeared after being in the water. Her hair was put in braids and she wore a black jacket. Lexa turned on some music, Clarke started to sing along to Halestorm. It was actually one of the few bands her ex-roomie, listened to that she even enjoyed. Lexa raised her eyebrows before smiling at Clarke. Her smile sent shivers all through Clarke’s body,  who made a mental note that she wanted to see that smile more.

“You call me a bitch like it’s a bad thing, you call me a freak like that means something.” Lexa joined in on the sing-a-long.

It was not until they were at the bathhouse they realized they had been singing together for 15 minutes straight.

While walking towards the dressing room they talked about almost everything. As they entered the dressing room their flowing conversation died of and the both of them became really nervous. Clarke wondered why Lexa looked anywhere but on Clarke as they changed into bathing attire. She herself was the worst because she couldn’t help but look as the brunette removed her band T and skin tight jeans. Revealing a stunning body and tattoos on her arm and back. Lexa was wearing a bikini which was camo-colored, suiting her eyes perfectly. She was very lean and had great boobs and bottom. After a while Clarke suddenly remembered that she hadn’t removed her clothes yet. She could feel her self-consciousness returning as she felt eyes on her as she removed her tank top and jeans. Looking back at Lexa she could see the rosy cheek on her newfound friend? They strolled out to the pools in silence before Clarke inhaled, trying to gain some confidence. They couldn’t stop talking if they were going to hang out, but Lexa’s abs made it hard to concentrate. Maybe her luscious lips didn’t help either…

“So, what do I have to work with?” Clarke asked as Lexa frowned.

“Um, me?”

“Yeah, I know that but how much experience do you have with water?” She could see Lexa getting really tense, Clarke bit her bottom lip as she grasped that she said something hurtful.

Lexa closed her eyes before sighing.

“Um…maybe this was a bad idea.” Lexa turned to walk back to the dressing rooms.

“Wait, I’m here for you now, can we at least get into the water it’s cold standing here”. Lexa turned to look at Clarke with a sad smile on her face.

“Sure, but I will tell you, someday. Not today.”

“That sounds like a plan” Clarke felt the tension between them ease up.

They got into the warm and shallow pool, the warmth inside Clarke not only coming from the water. It also came from the fact that she was close to this young woman, touching her as she showed her the motions necessary to swim. Lexa seemed uncomfortable in the water but caught on quickly. After an hour in the water she actually dared to go to the deeper pool and they swam some lengths. As they sat in the sauna, both trying not to watch the other, Clarke contemplated about her life. The reason why she had never been able to leave the closet. She actually never had one, her friends knew, her father knew. Her mother on the other hand didn’t know, she always thought her friend was just a friend. Would she ever be able to tell her mother?

**_(Flashback to five years prior)_ **

Sophie was kissing Clarke on her soft lips, leaving her smiling and humming. They did that for a while before Clarke felt her girlfriend’s abs and biceps. Everything on her was so extremely sexy and she was such a charming lady. She was only for Clarke and that made her almost burst with pride. Her friends were extremely jealous of her having the perfect partner. That was right before Sophie broke loose from their kisses, just holding Clarke’s hand and locking her green-blue eyes into her blue.

“Clarke Griffin, we have been dating for two years now.” Clarke sighed as she realized were this was going. “Can’t you please tell Abby about us? She loves me you know that, she won’t be mad.”

“You know I can’t do that!” Clarke scratched her neck with the hand that just a few moments ago held her girlfriend's. “I am not ready yet!”

“Do you know you are the first and only girl I have wanted to spend the rest of my life with?” Sophie looked down at their engagement rings.

“I want the same with you, but I am not ready yet.” She could see the hurt in her girlfriends’ eyes.

“When your mother asked about those rings and you said I was engaged with someone else and you too, it broke my heart Clarke.” Clarke felt the walls around her breaking in and got harder to breathe.

“I just…” Sophie pulled of the ring of her finger handing it to Clarke.

Eyes tearing up as she hesitantly looked at the blonde woman. Clarke herself couldn’t think anymore, it felt like her world was falling apart and the only sunshine she had was now leaving her. Just because she had to be such a jerk. Clarke could feel her throat become dry and her lips wouldn’t move as her eyes began to fill with tears.

“If you weren’t ready, you shouldn’t have asked me to marry you.” The voice of the light haired, tattooed girl crackling now. “I can’t do this anymore, it’s hurting too much. I can’t do us. We both need time I guess. You and your friends will have the house for a while. I’m going to Europe for a tour tomorrow, I’ll be sleeping at Lincoln’s.”

“Wait,” Clarke grabbed her fiancée by her thigh. “Thank you for being there for me and respecting me. You have been the best girlfriend and fiancée I could ever have. You are way too good for me.”

“No, you are worth the sun and the skies. You are worth everything nice Clarke. I hope you’ll find happiness someday and that you will be ready then.” Sophie sighed as she pulled Clarke up from their couch.

“I hope you will find what you seek too. You are worthy of a wonderful life and love. I will always love you my first and biggest love”. The less muscly girl meant every word she said.

“I will always love you too sweetheart,” Sophie said stroking a lock of hair from the cheek of her former love.

They sealed their breakup with a kiss so longing and lasting that Sophie left Clarke weak in her knees leaving the room. The blonde was certain that she would never get over that woman and that she would never be able to be just friends with her.


	4. Trying a new sport

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke seems to be good at convincing Lexa to do things
> 
> Or
> 
> When Lexa goes way beyond herself and tries a new sport actually enjoying herself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The weekend is coming up and I'm not sure how much more I will have time to write, therefore I throw in another chapter for you guys today. I hope you'll enjoy it! Oh, and feedback is always welcome!

**Lexa**

_**(Present)** _

Sitting in the sauna with Clarke made Lexa feel really concerned about the fact she was only wearing a bikini. She also had a towel wrapped around herself, but that didn't make things better. Clarke on the other hand didn’t seem to care as she just sat on her towel not worrying at all. She seemed to be distant for some time though which got Lexa worried.

“You okay, Clarke?” The blonde jumped and looked at Lexa with a faint smile.

“Sure, never better.” Lexa noticed that Clarke didn’t mean it, but she was unwilling to push it further.

“Thank you for today, it feels good not being afraid of water anymore. I am sure Cora would like to go swimming with me.”

Lexa sent an appreciative smile to Clarke who wholeheartedly smiled back. That smile got etched inside Lexa’s head and she hoped to be a reason for Clarke to be smiling in the future too. It felt as she could almost see the sky through her blue eyes and that her smile was sending out sunrays. Weird, but it felt completely true.

“It was my pleasure. Maybe we could hang out again sometime, with more clothes on?”

“Well, I don’t mind the lack of clothing.” Lexa winked at Clarke who instantly blushed.

“Neither do I, but…” Lexa interrupted Clarke before she could feel her own body overheat in embarrassment.

“Shower?” She said pulling out her brown hair from the face.

She kept thinking about how it would feel to kiss those soft lips of Clarke’s. How her body would look without the bikini and as her wish came true, Clarke started to remove her bikini. She jumped into the shower revealing a perfectly curved body. There was only one shower available, next to Clarke so Lexa removed her own attire to wash herself. Not really taking her eyes of her and the blonde looked back at her. It felt as though the two of them were alone in a room full of people, too busy with their own lives to notice these women starring at each other. After what felt like an eternity Clarke cleared her throat, suddenly remembering something.

“Shit!” She jumped out of the shower. “Shit! I have almost forgot!”

“What?” Lexa had become curious and went out of the shower too start to get dressed.

“I’m supposed to try handball tomorrow, and my other friends can’t join me.” Clarke looked hopefully at Lexa which made the second woman’s heart jump.

“So, what time is it?”

 

After another hard day’s work Lexa thought about yesterday, how she had promised to try a new sport. A sport? She never thought of herself as a jock or that the woman of her affections was a sporty type. Lexa chuckled to herself as she thought of the conversation she had had with her best friend and police partner.

 

_**(Flashback to the lunch break)** _

“Anya, it has happened!” Anya made a smug face.

“I can see that, finally got laid huh?” Lexa could feel her cheeks blush and her heart racing faster.

“Wait, what? No! I have met someone who seems nice.”

“Is she hot?” Anya had a mischievous smile still.

“Affirmative, but that is not the only thing.”

“You talked about Clarke yesterday too, remember?”

“Yes, but it went great yesterday, and today she is making me try a new sport.” With that Anya almost choked at her coffee, bursting it all over their lunch table.

Lexa Woods was not known for her interest in any kind of sport than maybe martial arts. She seldom watched it and more seldom asked to join in on said activities.

“You met her like two days ago and you’re already hooked you fucker. Hope she is worthy of you,” Anya raised a warning finger.

 

_**(Back to present)** _

Lexa was sitting in her SUV listening to a new band she had discovered and she thought maybe Clarke could listen to. Thundermother was apparently a Swedish based band, not that it mattered much, but anyway. Clarke came jogging toward her and Lexa opened the door from the inside. The curly blonde hair was flying everywhere before Clarke gave Lexa the biggest hug ever, the first one they shared. Lexa couldn’t help but notice how strong Clarke really was and how she smelt of jasmine and fruity tones.

“Thank you for saving me!” Clarke said before buckling up.

“Uh, what do you mean?” Lexa felt confusion tumbling inside of her.

“So, I promised Sophie ages ago to come try today and Raven and Octavia chickened out. I really don’t want to be alone with all those lesbian jocks, really scary.” Lexa tried to process what she just heard.

Loads of lesbians? Did this mean that Clarke was straight? Oh shit, way to go Lexa, falling for a straight girl.

“Don’t really think just lesbian’s do sports…” Lexa started.

“I know silly, it was just a really really bad joke, sorry.” Clarke looked really sad that she said something hurtful.

“Sure, let’s not leave those women waiting though.” Lexa smiled at Clarke trying to let her know it was alright.

**_I’ve been working from nine to five, going home before I take a ride, I’ll be so bored every single night_ **

Thundermother’s: It’s just a tease started to play and Clarke started singing again. Lexa thought it was extremely hot, a woman who actually liked the music she listened to.

“It’s just a tease, it’s just a tease, got nothing to lose I’ve got myself to please it’s just a tease.” Both women sang along in the chorus and when their eyes met Lexa knew that this girl was trouble and that she was going to turn her world upside down.

When they got to the gymnasium and said hello to 12 girls in way too short shorts and 2 girls in sweatpants they started to warm up. Soccer indoors felt weird but it was also fun, though it was hard to concentrate because Clarke did also have way too short shorts. Lexa did pretty good, she actually scored some goals before they started warming up with pairing up two and two. They were supposed to throw the ball to each other, and to have some kind of glue on their hands. Weird sport. Sophie walked up to Lexa, asking if she wanted to throw with her. Clarke went to throw with another girl and Lexa nodded to the redhead in sweatpants.

“So, if you’re throwing with your right hand you’re supposed to put your left foot forward. A bit like football.” Sophie instructed as Lexa threw a nice straight shot for her to catch, which she picked gracefully.

“Like that?” Lexa smiled at her instructor.

“Definitely!” This was the first time Lexa noticed that the girl didn’t have an American accent, but she couldn’t really figure out which kind of accent it was.

After that part of the warm-up they were supposed to get the goalies ready. By this time Lexa had forgotten all about the girl she got there with and felt like one in the team and really enjoyed this sport. They took turns to try to score goal from different positions and as Lexa passed the ball to a girl in the team, then got it back she only saw the empty parts of the goal and placed it right in the upper right corner.

“Helvetes jävla skit!” She could hear the goalie scream, not knowing what it meant. The redhead stepped out of the goal telling them to warm up the other goalie as she had to tape herself. As she came back she told Lexa she had a really good and strong shot, she was apparently not used to it and she had felt her wrist bending a bit too much from the shot.

“What I said is Swedish and means fucking shit! Or something like that, it's hard to translate these types of words”.


	5. Someone said pizza?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something awkward happens during practice. There is dinner in the evening with Raven and Octavia.
> 
> Or
> 
> Lexa and Clarke almost kisses each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting yesterday, I was busy writing more chapters. I hope you'll enjoy this as much as the previous chapters. Thank you guys for the feedback, I'm lovin' it! :)

**Clarke**

Watching Lexa and the other girls was way more fun than Clarke expected. Participating in sports was also more amusing than she had imagined. After a while Lexa asked if she could try to be a goalie and Sophie told her what to do. Clarke looked at both women, Lexa in some tight yoga pants and a really tight T-shirt, with her braids looking beautiful as ever. Her jawline and green eyes to die for, skin smooth as silk. She looked like a giant standing next to the more experienced goalie who was short, but a package of explosive muscles. Sophie had also a jawline to die for, but more of green-blue eyes, wider face with freckles and some battle scars in her face. Clarke turned around to see that everyone was looking at her. She realized it was her turn to run across half the field to get a ball and try to shoot at the goal. She hadn’t understood that she had been starring so long but when it dawned on her, her cheeks turned red.

That was before she started running, she caught the ball, bounced it and ran straight for the goal as Lexa ran to meet her, hindering her. Clarke took the shot and it went in, but it was too late to stop her own feet. She bumped straight into Lexa, making the brown-haired woman land on her back, with Clarke above her. Their eyes met, sparks in her whole body, her heart thumped so fast and loud Clarke could swear everyone else heard. Green eyes met blue, the earth met the sky. She couldn’t help but to look at Lexa’s soft quivering lips. Once again it felt as time stood still, but the world kept spinning around in her own head. The moment was destroyed by someone in the team who brought Clarke on her feet and someone else helping Lexa up. Regret welling up inside of the blonde.

“I should have kissed her!” she whispered to herself.

The rest of the practice went on smoothly with passing drills and some more shooting drills. Afterwards the whole team thanked Lexa and Clarke for coming and said they were really great. Which wasn’t entirely true, Clarke was ok, but Lexa, she had some real talent. Clarke couldn’t help but admire the woman in the car next to her. Who she now could see was biting her lower lip, what was she thinking about? “So, I’ll see you around I guess?” They had been silent the whole trip back to Clarke’s place.

“Yeah, thanks for joining me today, I had great fun!” Blue eyes locked on green again.

“Me too, thank you for bringing me.” Lexa seemed to honestly mean the words she spoke.

As Clarke wondered if she should jump out of the car or not she thought about giving Lexa a hug. Would that seem appropriate or not? She must have felt the chemistry as they had laid on the floor too? Lexa looked at her with her eyebrows raised. She had been sitting there in silence for too long. The blonde gathered all the courage she could and hugged Lexa, feeling a pair of hesitant arms rest on her back. Butterflies flying all around her body, heart trying to escape, following the brunette anywhere she would go. The woman in the driver’s seat smelled really good of some sort of musk and was it pasta?

“So, um, I’m trying on football on Sunday. I would very much like you to join me then too, if you’d like.” Clarke said as she let go of Lexa.

“What about your friends? Are they ditching you again?”

“No, they will join, but you can bring your friends. If you’d like I mean.”

 

Running into the apartment the blonde jumped onto the couch and placed herself between her two friends. Ruining their concentration as they were playing some shoot ‘em up game or something.

“The fuck?” Raven was the first to look at her friend. “You stinky thing. You reek of sweat and is it, musk?”

“Musk?” That made Octavia take her eyes of the tv to be the judge of the odor. “That is exactly her smell, you don’t have that type of perfume?”

“Eh, Lexa has it.” Clarke felt her friend’s eyeing her closely.

“Oh, they have already made out!” Raven shouted with a mischievous grin.

“No, we just, hugged ok.”

“O, do you realize what this means?” Raven looked sternly at her friend.

Octavia and Raven shared a mutual glance and started their own show.

“I tell you Raven, this stinks!” Octavia started.

“Oh, sorry!” Raven continued.

“Not you, them, her and her, alone.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“I can see what’s happening…”

“What?”

“And they don’t have a clue…”

“Who?”

“They’ll fall in love and here’s the bottom line, our trio’s down to two.”

“Oh!”

The three of them started laughing as Clarke hit her friends with a pillow telling them she and Lexa was not in love and that Raven and Octavia should stop reciting The Lion king. The gamer girls picked one cushion each and started hitting back, jumping around the living room chasing each other. Laughing more than they’ve done in quite some time. Their pillow fight kept on until the blonde got a text, her phone vibrating on the coffee table. Clarke ran to pick it up, causing the other women to just fight with each other. When she could read whom had texted her she felt some heat filling her up and her head was once again consumed by thoughts of the gracious and elegant body of Lexa’s.

**Lexa Woods**

**_19.15_ **

_Hi! Sorry to bother you, but have you had dinner yet? I was thinking, maybe pizza or something?_

Clarke froze, looking at her phone. This woman was just interested to become friends right? She was not hitting on her? Should she say yes, should she, what should she do?

“Earth to Clarke, what is happening up there in the sky princess?” Raven interrupted her chain of thoughts.

“It’s just…Lexa wondered about dinner tonight it seems.”

“Did she write pizza?” Octavia’s eyes widened as she smacked with her mouth, indicating that she was hungry.

“Were out of food anyway, I thought about shopping tomorrow morning,” Raven said. “Ask her if she can buy some for us too, well get money for her.”

Clarke frowned, did she actually want Lexa here? Yes, she wanted that. Did she want her to meet her friends? The answer on that question was also yes. Was their apartment a mess and needed cleaning before she got there? Yes. Could she really wear a pair of grey baggy pants and a black baggy shirt? Maybe, she looked extremely gay in the outfit anyway. She needed a shower though, so she texted quickly before hopping into the bathroom.

**Clarke Griffin**

_**19.20** _

_We haven’t eaten yet, can you bring some for my roommates too? You’ll get money, and wine, we have loads of wine. We could catch a movie if you’d like?_

When finished in the shower she saw her friends had already picked out some new clothes for her and they were also frantically cleaning the place. Octavia was running around the place picking up stuff from places they were not supposed to be and put them into the wardrobe for now. Raven attacking the floor with the vacuum cleaner. As Raven’s eyes met hers she mumbled a thank you to her making the hazel eyed woman grin.

**Lexa Woods**

**_19.40_ **

_Sure, how much pizza do we need?_

**Clarke Griffin**

**_19.41_ **

_Three? We’re not allergic here so just choose something. Thank you for this, I owe you already!_ (winking emoji)

After a while the pad looked like there were other people living there, people who cared about their home. Clarke started picking cutlery and making the dinner table, Raven choose some red wine and Octavia put on some music.

“For fuck sake O! Why Eros Ramazzotti? It’s not a date night?” Clarke moaned making the other girls laugh.

“You sure?” Raven said smugly.

As on queue the doorbell rang and Clarke almost tackled her friends to get there first. With butterflies in her stomach she opened the door, not really prepared for what she would see, though she knew who would come. Lexa stood there, absolutely stunning in a long black dress which revealed her cleavage just enough to make Clarke think about other things than food. She wore a dark green necklace which complemented her eyes perfectly. Her brown hair in delicate braids and she had brought pizza, smelling delicious. Clarke threw herself at her, embracing her to smell her perfume, it smelt more delicious than dinner. She didn’t want to let go.

“Nice to see you too again, Clarke. I guess these are your cohabitants?” Lexa gestured towards her friends as she handed the blonde the bag she brought.

Raven and Octavia shook hands with the brunette and invited her into their humble living space. Apparently Clarke had lost her ability to speak and just stood there for a while with her mouth ajar. She thought that if she would die now she would die happy, having seen the most beautiful and sexiest person in the world.


	6. One step forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa's having a movie night with Clarke and her roomies.
> 
> Or 
> 
> Lexa's first sleepover at Clarke's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning, in the end of this chapter is a description of anxiety attacks. Other than that I'll hope you guys enjoy this one!

**Lexa**

She had a reason for texting her crush, or friend, they were only friends. Lexa could at least try to tell herself that, maybe it would work. The fact was that she was tired of being alone, and now that Lincoln had Cora at his place, she was extremely alone. It had taken Lexa a long time to get over the death of her wife, which resulted in more people abandoning her and that she had troubles with social events. She held herself up when Cora was around, but when she wasn’t, she crashed. Anxiety attacks were common and she was never up for anything when someone asked her to do things. Lincoln, Anya and Lexa’s aunt Indra were the only people except her daughter who still was in her life.

Meeting Clarke had felt like a blessing, she seemed nice, smart, handsome and sexy as hell. She couldn’t deny the obvious attraction she felt for the blonde, but she needed friends and she was probably straight anyway. She made Lexa act before she thought which was usually out of character for the more proper woman. The text about dinner was more of a desperate attempt to not be lonely anymore. Standing in the cozy and messy apartment of Clarke's and her friend’s felt better than she had pictured. The feeling of their hug still lingering in her heart, the smell of jasmine and roses now eminent from Clarke’s eau de toilette. Romantic music playing in the background, the dinner table neatly set with napkins and candles. Everything felt perfect except that she didn’t want to fall for this girl, she couldn’t. It was hard not to though, she wore a short leather skirt and a tube top with enough cleavage to make Lexa have a hard time to look the woman in her eyes instead of her breasts. The blonde hair was beautifully put in a messy bun and their eyes met again. It felt as this woman could see right through Lexa’s soul, her heart, and that made her feel extremely vulnerable.

“So, dinner?” Raven coughed waking the newfound friends from their thoughts. “You drinking wine tonight Lexa?” She looked to the brunette.

“I’m having what you ladies are having,” Lexa immediately regretted the decision, she was not working the morning after, but she had taken her car to their place.

As they sat down by the table Raven started to pour wine to the four of them. Everyone felt comfortable, the conversation flowing. They talked about the weather, working out, parties, make-up, almost everything. Lexa let herself think that she could get used to this. Hanging with friendly people.

"So, what do you do for a living?" Octavia inquired.

"I'm a police commander."

"Oh, we'll call you the commander then!" Raven said earning herself a laugh from the others around the table. "I'm a mechanic, O here is..."

"I can speak for myself, thank you very much!" Octavia pretended to look hurt. "I'm a journalist."

"Why do we have to talk about work? It's so boring!" Clarke stated as she put an oversized pizza slice on her plate. "I'm an art student and swim instructor. It's thanks to these ladies I can survive." She looked sincerely at her friends.

What the blonde woman didn't know, or maybe she did, was that she had dropped som mushroom on her breast. Something Lexa noted right away and made her eyes wander down.

“Don’t look at Clarke’s breasts, don’t,” Lexa whispered to herself, but no one else took notice.

They ate and had a good time. Lexa was on her third glass as they left the table to go sit in the couch. It was a big one in black leather. Sitting down Lexa couldn’t help but notice how comfortable it was. Clarke squeezed down her own behind next to Lexa. Raven somehow got to pick a movie and chose “Imagine me and you”, a movie about a lesbian and a woman who thinks she is straight but is not. Which complicated things a bit.

“Mm, this movie is great!” Clarke announced pinching Lexa in her arm. “Don’t you want to see it?”

“Huh? Sure, it’s good enough.” Lexa’s eyes got stuck in Clarke’s as the movie started.

“Those women are so fucking hot!” Raven yelled with the humming confirmations from Octavia and Clarke.

Lexa decided to make a move, she had nothing to lose. They hadn’t known each other for long and she had the liquid courage she needed. She yawned just enough so Clarke could hear and rose her arms over her head. She then used her left arm to pull Clarke closer and let her enchanting head rest on Lexa’s shoulder. As the woman on her arm cuddled in closer, Lexa thought she had just won the best prize ever. She might actually like her back? After another movie and some more glasses of alcohol the four of them gave up the evening. Raven and Octavia headed for their bedrooms, after saying goodnight to the two women glued together in the sofa. Lexa could feel her arm ache from the position they had been sitting in. Clarke took her own right hand and laced her finger’s with Lexa’s hand.

“You could stay the night if you want, I can sleep in here and you could take my bed if you’d like?” Blue eyes met green, looking hopeful.

“I would like to stay, but I’ll sleep here”

Clarke let her go to make it comfortable for the guest to sleep in the living room and got her an extremely large T-shirt to sleep in. “The Pounder Grounders” it said. Before leaving the brunette she hugged her tightly. Lexa couldn’t help but to pull her even closer, inhaling every scent the woman gave away. She was so extremely hot in her short sleeping shorts and her tight tube top.

“Goodnight Lexa!” Clarke kissed her cheek before letting go.

“Goodnight Clarke!” As Clarke strode to her bedroom she yelled at Lexa to get in there if she wanted.

Lexa lay on the couch contemplating the evening. The thought of blonde hair and blue eyes filling her mind as she fell asleep.

She woke up hastily feeling a pressure on her chest. Her heart had started racing and it felt like she couldn’t breathe anymore, every breath a struggle for her own life. Tears filled her eyes and started to stream down her cheeks. Her body felt heavy and she started to shake uncontrollably. Lexa wanted to die, she felt like the loneliest person in the world. Nothing was worth living for anymore, she couldn’t smell anything, nor hear. She was inside her own head, not able to leave. Every bad decision she had ever made showed up in her mind. Starting with when she kissed a girl in pre-school, she yelled and ran away. After that they weren't friends anymore. Lexa felt her blood rush, her pulse gaining speed and her emotions falling into an empty void.

Hearing Clarke talking in her sleep made her break out of the anxiety attack. It was over this time in less than five minutes maybe. Unfortunately Lexa had gotten used to anxiety attacks after the death of her significant other. The bright side of it was that they always occurred when she was alone and when Cora wasn’t with her. Usually it kept going for a few hours, maybe she had found her own “cure”.


	7. Party, party!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa is going to a party, dancing, drinking.
> 
> Or
> 
> The chapter when things finally gets a bit heated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is more festive and is more suitable for Saturday's i believe. Have fun! Oh, and the chapter after this will involve loads of smut. Sorry to let you keep waiting for it though! ;)

**Clarke**

She woke up to notice someone had crawled into her bed. Only hugging the person in question and fell right back asleep. Dreaming of long brown hair and eyes green as moss, a smile making any dentist jealous and a body Clarke wanted to get to know much better.

 

Clarke woke up when her alarm called at 8 am feeling strong arms around her from behind. She also inhaled the breath of someone who had drunk wine. Carefully she turned around to face Lexa who rubbed her eyes. Looking sheepishly at Clarke.

“Good morning,” Clarke whispered to the beautiful woman.

“Mornin’, well you said I could…” Lexa responded hoarsely.

“In that you are correct, let’s get some breakfast, I have a class in two hours.”

 

When Clarke got home from school she thought about Lexa, actually she had been on her mind the whole day. How they had woken up next to each other. Holding each other. How it felt to kiss her soft cheek. She had totally forgot about the party this evening until Bellamy, the brother of Octavia, called her.

“Hey princess!” Bellamy almost shouted in the phone.

“What’s up?” Clarke quickly responded.

“Remembering the party tonight?”

“No, I…I had totally forgot.”

“Sophie told me to remind you that everyone is coming tonight.”

“I know,” Clarke tried.

She could hear people talking in the background and she could recognize the Swedish accent anywhere in the world. Clarke sighed.

“What is she saying now?”

“That literally everyone is coming tonight.” He stopped to tell the person he talked to that her suggestions was nothing he would say in a sober condition. Clarke heard him gulp and realized they had started to party early. “Not only the usual people Clarke.”

“What is it that you are saying?” She heard some more argument in the background before someone else took hold of the cell.

“What I remembered was that you are smart Clarke, but I guess I was wrong!” A seemingly frustrated Sophie was at the other end now.

“What do you mean?” She had now started to pick clothes for the festive events that was supposed to occur.

“For fuck's sake! Lexa is coming tonight, get your game together!” At that the phone fell to the floor.

Clarke thought that maybe this meant, could it mean? Fuck! Did this mean that Lexa was interested in being more than just friends?

“Hello?!” The normally deep and happy voice of her friend was now just curious.

“Just, um…”

“Did you just drop your android?”

“Might have…”

“Well, Lexa’s coming, and you know I don’t out people, but your gaydar is the worst. Besides you guys are into each other. She is a fucking lesbian just like me and you have a chance at happiness, so take it!”

 

The three cohabitants went to the party, Clarke a little wreck of nerves. She had changed her outfit almost 10 times before deciding to go with her sexy red dress and to let her hair in a braid. Lexa had texted her and asked if they’d meet at the party and the blonde woman’s heart had magically felt ten times lighter knowing for real they would meet tonight.

Arriving at the house where the party was helt it seemed more like a castle, a green one. A brawny man with shaved head and a welcoming smile greeted them at the door. They recognized the bassist from Sophie’s band immediately.

“Lincoln! So good to see you again, where’s Cora?” Raven said.

“At Indra’s, welcome in girls!”

The party had started no matter how often Raven stated that the party started firstly when she got there. Everyone in there stood cheering as two women in similar outfits were playing beer pong. The usual people were there, Anya, Monty, Jaspar and his girlfriend Maya, Bellamy and Sophie was one of the players. She was wearing a black fedora, a blue shirt with folded arms, an elegant vest, black chinos, a pair of aviator glasses and wore red lipstick. Sophie smiled at Clarke when she decided to join her in the game.

“Hello sexy!” she said pulling the blonde close.

“Hi handsome!”

“Nice of you to help me, I thought I was gonna lose big time here,” she nodded at her competitor. Clarke had to swallow hard to keep herself from gasping as she watched to the other end of the table. The tall figure of Lexa’s stood there smirking. She wore almost an identical outfit as Sophie except that she had deep purple lipstick and her shirt was green. Clarke had trouble containing herself, this woman looked so handsome she couldn’t handle it.

“Good to see you again,” the tall woman in aviator glasses said.

Clarke just nodded, her own vocal chords failing her. Lincoln joined in on Lexa’s side of the table and they started a new round of beer pong. The others were standing around cheering at both teams, but mostly, they howled at the losers when they had to drink. Lincoln and Lexa had an easy win so after that round Lexa seemed quite sober still, which Clarke was not.

“Want a drink?” Clarke asked before taking Lexa’s hand, leading her to the kitchen.

“Sure!” Lexa nodded.

“Way ahead of you two guys!” Sophie magically appeared with two glasses in her hands. “Drinks to the ladies!”

“What is this?” Lexa asked frowning at her glass full of something that looked like water coming from the sewers. “I want what she’s having,” she pointed at Clarke’s drink which was orange and red, looking much more appetizing.

“Trust me, you’ll love it!” Sophie said winking before leaving the two.

“Can I trust her?”

“Sure you can, she is the best bartender I’ve met and not once had she made someone a drink they don’t like. Except, when she was a kid,” the blonde raised her glass to touch the other woman’s. “Do you trust me?”

“I trust you, so cheers!”

They tasted their drinks. Clarke felt her head starting to spin even more than before, but the drink was sweet and fruity. Sex on the beach had always been a drink she enjoyed and Sophie remembered. Lexa had wrinkled her nose in a cute way before trying her own drink. When the liquid had touched her lips she actually seemed surprised.

“It was surprisingly good!” she mumbled more to herself than Clarke. “Do you know what it is?”

“Probably the dragon crusher she only makes on certain occasions, it’s with dragon fruit. The only drink she makes that looks like puke,” they both started to laugh at that.

The laugh of Lexa was still clinging in Clarke’s ears even after they had started to walk back to the pool table. Now the Blake siblings competed in a round of throwing ping pong balls in beer glasses. That guffaw of the brunettes making Clarke’s breath rise. Standing in the crowd cheering on Octavia, Clarke felt Lexa’s hand grip onto hers, sending a burning sensation from her hand to the rest of her body.

“Okay guys, now let’s start this party for real!” Lincoln handed out shots of vodka to everyone. “Cheers and welcome commander!”

Everyone cheered with him, letting the hot fluid burn their throats. Giving shy people more bravery and Sophie, well, she just became more of herself. The women in the room, except Sophie and Lexa was wearing dresses and the guys looked handsome in shirts and chinos. Music got louder and everyone started dancing, Raven and Octavia started dancing with the hostess. Jaspar and Maya stood on the floor just making out. The others were jumping around.

“May I have this dance?” Lexa inquired.

“I would love to,” Lexa grabbed Clarkes hand once again.

Some house music was playing when Lexa put her hands on the lower back of her dance partner. Clarke let her upper extremities hold onto the neck of Lexa. Looking into her dark green eyes she forgot that the rest of the world existed. Their bodies moved as one, their breasts brushing against each other. Thighs brushing against the others more private parts. Lexa having her hair in a bun in the back of her head was new, but it made her face easier to see. Her sunglasses had been put away a while ago. She was way too hot, Clarke felt how she got wet just by looking at her. Feeling Lexa's finger on her body made it burn inside of her.

“You are too sexy Lexa,” Clarke whispered in the woman’s ear.

Her voice was husky and seducing. Lexa lowered her arms, touching Clarkes butt. Clarke could feel the need and want from the other woman as her butt cheeks were gently caressed.

“You are more than sexy Clarke,” Lexa mumbled back.


	8. Alone at last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke is leaving the party together. Heading for Lexa's appartment, to spend an evening together. Some smut is promised in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first time I write smut, hope you'll like it! Thank's to everyone who sends love to me, you're the best! Please, keep that feedback coming, it's extremely motivating ;)
> 
> Now I have a bit of a question, do you guys want to know from Sophie's POV what happens when Lexa and Clarke leaves the party? I think that would make an entertaining chapter. Oh, and in that case we might be able to see some Linctavia in the next chapter. ;)

**Lexa**

Moving around to music with this angel made it hard for Lexa to control herself. She just let her own hands be all over Clarke’s back. The other woman just chuckled letting her own fingers wander along Lexa’s neck and shoulders. Lexa’s eyes couldn’t help but roam down to the inviting breasts of Clarke’s from time to time. She tried to scold herself for it, this person was a human being and Lexa was no animal. She could control herself.

“Let’s go get some air!” Clarke breathed in Lexa’s ear seductively.

They went out to the front porch, away from the music and people. Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke. Pondering what she should do with this wonderful girl in her arms.

“I really like you Lexa,” Clarke said sternly.

“I really like you too,” Lexa embraced the other woman once again, feeling her warmth and the breath oozing of alcohol.

“No, you don’t get it!” The blonde sighed. “I have a huge crush on you woman!”

With that Lexa couldn’t hinder herself anymore. She put her hands underneath Clarkes chin, pulling her in. Surprise in the other woman’s orbs as she pushed their lips together. Soft lips touching, Clarke’s content humming and Lexa could feel her own body respond. Lexa could in fact feel herself become extremely wet in her private parts. She wanted this blonde, now and forever, she just knew that. Hands were moving everywhere, Clarke separated her lips just a tiny bit to welcome Lexa’s tongue. When their tongues met, it really drove Lexa crazy. Sparks throughout her body, her insides fluttering with joy. After a too short amount of time Clarke pulled away.

“Your place or mine?” Clarke said eyeing the other woman.

“At my place we’ll be alone,” Lexa smiled sheepishly.

They went back inside to get two more drinks from the hostess before telling everyone goodbye. Octavia and Raven were plastered on Sophie and everyone else was being way too occupied being drunk to even notice.

Coming home to Lexa the both women got extremely nervous even though they had been making out the whole trip there in the cab. Lexa played some music, Cèline Dion, she was always a lifesaver. She led the other woman towards the bedroom and inside of there she didn’t know if it was the booze talking or not.

“I want you Clarke, but if you’re not ready, we can wait,” at that the blonde threw herself at Lexa.

“I need you Lexa.”

Lexa started to trail kisses along Clarke’s neck, hearing the other woman moan almost made her come right then and there. Her hands tugged at the end of the other woman's red dress and with an approving nod from Clarke she put it over her head and threw it on the floor. This woman before her was now only wearing laced black underwear and she looked even hotter than Lexa remembered. By this Clarke let her hands brush on top of Lexa’s clothes feeling breasts underneath the cloth. She kissed the taller woman on her neck, cheeks, mouth.

“God, you’re so sexy Lexa!” She breathed heavily.

Clarke unbuttoned the vest, the shirt and her pants in less time than it took for Lexa to understand what was happening. Then she stood there in just a pair of camo colored hot pants and sports bra. Clarke was eyeing her, eating her whole with just her eyes. Lexa could feel herself blush before she put Clarke in her bed. Lexa on top, kissing every inch of the blonde’s body, caressing, slowly memorizing every cell of the woman beneath her. Their underwear disappeared and Lexa let her own mouth play with the pert nipples of Clarke’s. They both moaned, wanting more. She let her hand play with the other breast and after a while she switched nipple. Lexa let her tongue wander down from her navel before she started to kiss the insides of Clarke’s thighs. The woman underneath her was desperate, she could feel it, but the power in this made Lexa more eager to prolong the experience.

“Just fuck me Lexa! I need you now!” Clarke coaxed.

Lexa couldn’t delay it anymore, Clarke's begging was awfully sexy. She let her tongue taste the wet folds and bud between the woman’s thighs. Her fingers feeling the wetness, putting one inside, seeing Clarke arch her back, moan in excitement. This woman tasted amazing, way better than anyone she had ever tasted before. Lexa started making circles with her tongue, putting more pressure in it as Clarke’s breath hitched more and more. She put two more fingers inside, brushing just the right spot, in and out. The movements accelerated and she could feel herself get closer to the edge. Clarke took a firm grip of her back, scratching it with her nails, arching her back more, putting her pelvis up for Lexa to get a better reach. After a while her whole body shook and the scream of her orgasm echoed inside the room, Lexa could feel how she got pushed over the threshold too. She let Clarke ride out her orgasm before Clarke switched place with Lexa. She licked the juice from Lexa’s fingers and then kissed it away from her face.

“Damn do I taste good on you!” She said with a small laugh.

With that Lexa could feel her pulsing desire between her own legs, her blood was no longer in her brain. It had ventured to her lower regions. Clarke seemed to be someone who didn’t like foreplay, because she started to rub the sweet spot right away. Before locking her lips with Lexa’s again, letting her tongue wander inside the mouth of the other woman again.

“Oh fuck Clarke, you’re way too good at this!”

Clarke had only the chance to let her lips start to kiss the wet folds of Lexa’s and put her tongue on her clit when Lexa’s whole body shook and she screamed out of joy. Clarke continued but Lexa pulled her up again. She almost looked hurt that it went so fast.

“Sorry, but I’m too sore, I don’t think I can do more tonight,” Lexa kissed away Clarke’s frown.

“But I just got to taste you," the blonde protested.

“Yes, but I got so turned on by turning you on. We can try again in the morning.”

“That, I can agree on.”

They kissed some more before wishing each other goodnight. Falling asleep with the woman she had a crush on made Lexa sleep easier than ever before. What was even better was the fact that she felt something back. This woman was in fact not straight which was another detail that made Lexa happy. This must have been the best night ever.


	9. Three is better than one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two guests stay the night in Sophie's room. In the end of the chapter Lincoln and Octavia finally realizes that they want each other. 
> 
> Or
> 
> When there is a threesome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay guys, I have been busy with games, practices and school. I hope you'll like it though!
> 
> I was really focused on this chapter, because I wanted it to be really good before I could release it. This chapter involves loads of smut, with three women getting some.

**Sophie**

It was now 3 AM and the only guests left were Raven and Octavia. Lincoln had started to clean the place up, throwing away bottles and cups in a big sack. He was muttering inaudible words to himself.

Sophie eyed the two beautiful ladies who were still dancing with her. Raven was looking as breathtaking as the first time she saw her. Though Sophie had been good at hiding her feelings for the other woman, even to herself. Raven’s long, chestnut-colored hair was combed to her left side. She looked at Sophie with her chocolate colored eyes. Her crooked smile sending sparks to Sophie’s heart and the rest of her body. The black dress she was wearing were strapless and showed of her medium-sized breasts just enough to drive the redhead crazy. The dress also squeezed just right over her firm and round bottom. Raven’s tanned skin felt extremely soft when Sophie touched the other woman’s arms and back.

Looking to her left side she saw Octavia grinning at her. Her grey eyes were fixed on Sophie’s hat for the moment. Octavia had her curvy, long, brown hair in a neat bun in the back of her head. The clothes she wore, were a silver dress similar to Raven’s. She was deliciously beautiful, Sophie couldn’t handle the lust she felt for both of them. As she could feel her best friend’s glares from the other side of the room, she tried really hard not to do anything with these women. They just danced, she tried to tell herself. She felt a burning sensation in her abdomen and lower region as the two women danced extremely close to her. Sophie had one arm around each of them, their breasts touching hers. Their breaths hot against one ear each. The shirt-wearing lady had troubles containing herself, she wanted to do them both right then and there. Knowing Lincoln was there, thankfully, kept her from doing anything stupid.

“We want you,” both Raven and Octavia whispered seductively in her ears.

“But…You sure?” Sophie said, trying to keep her face straight, thinking of how drunk the three of them were and that the others might regret it in the morning.

“Don’t you want some of this?” Raven asked.

At that, Octavia and Raven closed the gap between them, letting their soft lips touch each other’s. They were just a few inches from Sophie’s face. The poor woman felt her pussy starting to ache by the want and need she felt by their actions. The two women’s kiss turned into a steaming make-out session, leaving Lincoln and Sophie dry-mouthed.

“You’ll get whatever you want,” Sophie regretted her statement as the other women turned to her.

“Let’s get to your room then,” Octavia said pulling at Sophie’s arm.

As they walked to the staircase Lincoln shot Sophie a questioning glance.

“I’ll owe you,” she mouthed to her friend.

“Yeah, you’ll owe me big time,” He mouthed back.

When they got up to the hostess room, she herself was very thankful for the soundproof walls and the king-sized bed. She had thought of putting on some music and romantic candles, but there was no time for that.

As the door closed behind them, the two dark-haired women pinned the third against the wall. Taking turns to kiss her, let their tongues touch hers. The hat was removed, as were the vest soon after that. They could feel the electricity between them sparking, sending heat through their bodies. Sophie wanted to jump into the sex right away. These women were fantastic kissers and their hands felt exceptionally good against her body. Raven started to unbutton Sophie’s shirt while she kissed her neck, the one thing that made the woman against the wall quiver from lust. At the same time, Octavia had started to remove the woman’s pants. She got down on her knees, feeling the insides of her thighs, letting her fingers caress the damp cloth between her legs. The shirt and bra was quickly removed by Raven’s nimble fingers. Octavia ripped away the panties. Sophie stood there, naked before the other women, feeling the pleasure of their lustful gaze making her even wetter than she thought was possible. Raven kept kissing her mouth while she caressed the other woman’s breasts. Octavia let her fingers tease by the entrance of Sophie’s vagina, feeling her wetness, letting her tongue play with her clit, taste the woman standing before her. Sophie could feel her own body shaking after a little while, feeling explosions inside of her.

After Sophie’s orgasm they detached the other women’s dresses and moved to a couch. Sophie sat down on it, letting Octavia sit on the couch next to her, kissing, letting their tongues touch each other. Sophie let one hand wander down to Octavia’s private parts, feeling the lady juices made her push in several fingers, earning her a sexy moan. Raven let her fingers and tongue play with Sophie’s sweet bud before sending in three fingers. Moaning was echoing of the walls in the room as both Sophie and Octavia came.

Later, Sophie lay down on the bed as Octavia sat on her face, and Raven stood on her knees beside her friend. The dark-haired women started to kiss while Sophie let one hand work with each of the other ladies. Her tongue was playing with Octavia’s sweet bud. She tasted amazing, like a mix of honey, chocolate and love. She licked harder and let her fingers work harder and harder as she could hear the ragged breaths of the other women. They moaned louder and louder until she could feel the walls around her fingers tighten, and she let them ride out their orgasms. Collapsing from the pleasure on top of each other.

Waking up in the morning, Sophie wondered why it was so hot in her room and why it reeked of sweat and sex. That was before she opened her eyes, seeing two gorgeous women laying on each side of her chest. Octavia opened her orbs after a while, looking at Sophie, striking her abs.

“I hope you don’t regret anything,” Sophie said, remembering how long she and Lincoln had been eyeing each other.

“No, I thoroughly enjoyed it, I needed this,” she said giving the other woman a quick kiss on her mouth, tongue and all. “I needed to see who I where before I could date Lincoln.”

“I trust it you know now?”

“Yes, I am Octavia Blake, a bisexual who is really in love with a gorgeous guy.”

“Glad to be of help,” Sophie touched her breasts and squeezed her but before she jumped out of bed.

“Got to go, see you later, and…we can’t do this again,” she indicated before putting her clothes on.

“I know, say good morning to him from me will ya’?” Octavia gave Sophie a peck on the cheek before she disappeared.

“Uh, what’s happening?” Raven suddenly woke up and her bedhead made Sophie’s heart jump.

“Mornin’ lover!” Sophie eyed her.

“Yeah, now I remember,” Raven smiled before she kissed the remaining woman.

Sophie’s phone beeped on the bedside table.

**Lincoln**

_**11.05** _

_Yo! I’m having a date with O tonight, you’ll babysit Cora, you owe me this one._


	10. Waking up next to her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke wakes up next to each other, Lexa has to work overtime and in the evening she rediscovers her favourite past time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kudos, subscriptions and above all your comments! A special thanks to Stokes09 who have been sending me love since I first published my first chapters. Please let me know what you guys think, I love the feedback I've been getting so far! <3

**Lexa**

Waking up next to Clarke was amazing, Lexa could feel the other woman’s arms around her back. Also, being the little spoon was better than she had imagined. The warmth from Clarke’s belly was radiating on Lexa’s back. She had never felt this happy nor safe before, which made Lexa feel guilty. She had a daughter, getting her should have been the happiest moment of all. Now Cora just reminded her of the woman Lexa had once lost, making her heart thud a little heavier whenever she saw the little girl.

Brown hair was removed from her neck as she could feel gentle lips trail kisses on the side of her neck and shoulder. Warming the brunette from the inside out, making her cuddle closer to the other woman. Lexa turned around, just to see deep blue eyes and a shining smile. Making her fall a little more.

“Hi there!” Clarke said while touching Lexa’s face.

“Morning, you want breakfast?” Lexa asked while seeing what time it was, 2 PM. “Or, brunch might be more suitable?”

“Yeah, I guess we slept in a bit.”

Both of their stomachs rumbled, making them laugh. Afterwards they kissed, soft lips, gentle caresses. Lexa got out of bed, putting on a black nightgown and handing Clarke a blue shirt. She couldn’t believe how sexy the other woman looked in her shirt. When they finally started to cook, Lexa couldn’t keep her fingers from touching the blonde woman whenever she got the chance. She wore only the shirt. Clarke just giggled and kept making pancakes, egg and bacon. Lexa was standing behind her the whole time, caressing her breasts, shoulders, neck even kissing her on those places.

Right after they had eaten their food Lexa had only one plan for the both of them, continue what they were doing the evening before. Clarke just sprinted to lay down in Lexa’s bed and the brunette ran after her. They started a tickle war, just when Lexa’s phone rang.

“We need you at the station, we’re short of staff,” Gustus, one of the officers who took care of personnel said.

Lexa’s heart dropped, she wanted to be with Clarke as much as she could. How could they call her, one of the only weekends she had been off in a long time?

“Uh, I’m busy, I can’t work today,” Lexa tried.

“We’re short on staff, we need you here commander!” Gustus pleaded.

“But, it’s my first weekend off in forever?”

“You’ll get a new chance next week.” At that they got off the phone. Clarke looked surprised when Lexa told her what was happening. She seemed saddened by the news, she might had hoped to see Lexa more that day.

When the commander got down to the station she had to get right on questioning why she had to get there. The only answer she got was that there was excessively amounts of paperwork to be dealt with. She sighed as she started to look through reports, put files in archives and let her thoughts wander away to the woman of her dreams. Clarke was too good to be true, she was sweet, intelligent, sexy and made Lexa smile. The hours she would work overtime today would feel like years, Lexa realized as she watched the time after half an hour.

 

6 PM Lexa was finished with a big pile of papers and was about to call Clarke. The woman might’ve wanted to meet her this evening. All she managed to do was send her a text though, she didn’t want to seem too pushy.

**Lexa Woods**

_**18.01** _

Hi Clarke! Just wanted to let you know that I’ve just quit work for 2day. XOXO

Maybe it was a bit much? Lexa sent it anyway, before she changed into her casual clothing.

On the way to her car, Lincoln called. Lexa tensed, had something happened to her little girl? A lump got stuck in her throat by the thought of Cora getting hurt in some way.

“Lexa, you done working?” Lincoln asked, sounding happy, so nothing bad had probably happened, Lexa relaxed.

“Yeah, just got off, why?”

“Sophie’s writer’s block is gone, so were making new songs.”

“What has that to do with me?” Lexa got curious, what had she to do with their band?

“Well, Anya is actually a better guitarist and we need a drummer. I know you used to be great at that.” Lexa could hear someone talking in the background. “Oh, and Clarke is busy tonight, she, Octavia and Raven are apparently going out.”

Lexa blushed at that, was her mind that obvious to read? Then if Clarke was busy and Cora was at Lincoln’s, why not hang out with the band and try her musical genius again?

“Is Cora with you?” Lexa asked, glad to maybe see her daughter again.

“Of course, she’s our biggest fan! I promise, she is wearing ear-protection.”

“Be over in 10.”

Lexa smiled at herself, having something to do on her free-time was probably a good idea. Knowing that this time she couldn’t build her whole life around just one person, she drove to Lincoln and Sophie’s place. Opening the garage door, she saw Anya tuning her guitar, Lincoln plugged in his bass and Sophie warmed up her vocal chords, a girl Lexa hadn’t met before stood there talking with Cora, she had a guitar in her arms too. Cora seemed delighted to be seeing her mother again, because she came running just as Lexa stepped inside. Presenting her to the new band member, called Embra. She had dark curly hair and a face tattoo.

“Welcome!” Lincoln gave Lexa a warm hug. “Now, let’s get this party started!”

When Lexa sat down behind the drums, she forgot about the outer world, it was her, the drums and the music.


	11. Trying another sport

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three roomies parties hard the day before they are supposed to try on American football. 
> 
> During practice Raven shows herself to be the extremely jealous type.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you'll like this one guys, I felt inspired today so I'll give you two chapters on the same evening! 
> 
> The next one will be in Raven's perspective...

**Clarke**

Clarke had tried to call Lexa several times shortly after the latter woman had texted her, without a result. She wanted to meet her tonight, she couldn’t get the other woman out of her head. After the fourth try she called Lincoln instead, she didn’t know where she got that idea from though.

“Who’s this?” Lincoln asked and there were loads of noises in the background, he had probably picked up without seeing who called.

“It’s me, Clarke.”

“Oh, hi Clarke! Sorry if I was rude, but we’re rehearsing right now.” Lincoln softened up a little.

“Have you heard from Lexa?”

“She’s here playing the drums, you want to talk to her?”

“Please,” Clarke heard someone in the background say that she’ll take it. “Lex?”

“Hi Clarke! Sorry, I have neither seen nor heard that you’d called. Aren’t you supposed to go out with your friends tonight?”

“Shit! I totally forgot! What would I do without you? See you tomorrow then?” Clarke could feel herself become utterly embarrassed.

“Yeah, I’ll pick you up?”

“That would be great!”

 

Raven, Octavia and Clarke was sitting by the bar. All three of them shitfaced, regretting everything they had drunk that evening. They were supposed to be working out the day after, how would that go with several glasses of wine in their systems?

“Why did I have to wait so long before I made a move on Lincoln?” Octavia asked her friends. “He’s a really great guy and a fucking DILF, I should’ve done something earlier.”

“Are we really going down this road?” Raven mumbled, having trouble to find the words. “I’ve been in love with Sophie longer than I remember. I’ve just been a chicken.”

“Why do we only talk about feelings when we’re drunk?” Clarke asked, looking down her glass of water. “We need to drink so much water that I’ll go pee every second.”

“Why don’t you ever talk about your feelings Clarke?” Octavia tried to focus her eyes on Clarke.

“You know how I feel. I have feelings for Lexa, and I actually think that I’ve let go of my previous feelings of S.”

“So, she’s not off limits?” Raven looked hopefully at her friend.

“Like you ever cared?” Clarke sighed before downing the water.

"What do you mean?" Raven looked hurt.

"You fucking loved her when we were together," Clarke muttered before she went to get another glass of water.

"See, this is good isn't it? Talking about our feelings?" Octavia tried hard to ease up the tension between the other girls.

"Oh, shut up O!" Raven said as she ate some peanuts that they had ordered.

"This is why we shouldn't talk about feelings," Clarke stated coming back to sit down on her chair. "So, party next weekend?"

 

There were three hungover friends Lexa came to pick up at 5 PM. How Clarke would survive all of the running and everything, she didn’t know. Lexa were looking as handsome as ever though. Looking at her friends, Clarke realized the three of them looked like horseshit in comparison. Why did they have to celebrate Octavia’s new job this weekend? Lexa did just smile at them with a spark in her eyes as she saw their sunglasses.

Arriving at the gymnasium, the four of them followed Sophie to the gear room. Trying on shoulder pads and helmets showed to be rather amusing. It took some time to find the right size for all of them. There were another girl trying gear in the room whom Sophie helped to put on the pads. Raven got extremely upset at that. How could this girl become this jealous? Sophie helped Raven and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, melting her heart again.

When all five girls were all set they went inside the arena with artificial grass. There were about 30 other girls standing in a circle, listening to their coach who told them about some girls who would come and try their fabulous sport. All of the new girls got to follow Sophie who apparently got to be a coach today. The redhead wore black baseball shorts and a tight sport-top. She tried to show the new girls how to catch the ball, putting her fingers together like a diamond, after that she showed how to stand in receiver stance. The new girls had a hard time to do the things she showed. Random girl was having really much trouble, making Sophie show her and help her a bit extra. Which made Raven angry as a bee, even though she tried not to show it.

A while into the practice they were showed a few routes and were told to look up at the quarterback who would throw the ball at them. It seemed like Lexa was a natural, the other girls had to struggle though. Then they were supposed to tackle each other.

“Go low, hold your back straight and look for the ball. Use your hips to thrust, that gives you more strength in the tackle.” Sophie showed the beginners. “One of you’ll hold the ball and try to run to that cone. The other one will try to tackle.”

Raven went up to be the first tackler, the new name girl held the ball, locking frightened. Maybe it was because Raven’s eyes could kill her or the fact she wasn’t used to be tackled. When Sophie blew the whistle, Raven made a clean tackle, forcing the other girl to drop the ball and fall on her back.

“Great tackle!” Sophie gave the tackler an appreciative clap on the back before helping the other girl get up.

“She deserved it,” Raven whispered to Clarke and Octavia.


	12. Love at first sight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven and her friends drive home from practice. She has been acting weird during practice and she remembers the first time she laid her eyes on Sophie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel sad for poor Raven, she tries so hard. I hope you guys will appreciate this chapter, it's quite sentimental. Some angst and hope is in this chapter. Please let me know what you think, I love your feedback!

**Raven**

Sitting in Lexa’s car after practice, was a nightmare. Raven had been showing pretty clearly the whole time she was jealous of every girl in the team. Sophie had tried to shrug it off, tried to be nice to everyone. She attempted to pretend that the woman she liked didn’t act like a jealous bitch. Raven did feel pretty shitty, why did she act like that? She liked the girl, there was no use in turning her friends against her. She sighed before getting lost in thoughts.

**(Flashback to the first time Raven and Sophie met, almost 7 years ago)**

She had packed her truck full of things, she was tired of the college she had just started. There was a better one she had recently gotten into. She was moving there midterm, but she was mad about the fact that her ex-boyfriend studied in the new place.

Raven and Finn had been working in the same mall with Clarke during summer. Raven and Clarke had become close friends, Finn didn’t tell Clarke he and Raven were together. That misunderstanding led to Clarke hooking up with him too, before both girls broke it with him.

Raven was a woman who handled herself, so she had packed and loaded her truck all by herself. The fact that she only had one friend and that all her family was gone, might’ve been more reasons to why she did it all herself.

Walking up to the apartment complex, she realized her move would take ages. There were no elevators. Her new room was on the second floor, she got showed the room and got a key before being left by her truck.

She opened the car boot, hearing a beautiful deep voice.

“You need help with that?” Raven backed a bit to see who was talking to her. A girl with golden walnut hair in a pony-tail and emerald eyes was looking at her. The dark-haired girl almost lost her breath and herself, watching the other woman’s smile. She was rather short, beefy and was wearing a baggy T-shirt and a pair of grey cargo trousers. Raven had to bite her lip, she looked like taken from her dreams.

“I guess some help wouldn’t hurt?” Raven answered, thinking if the other woman was sent from above.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? No, she could not ask the other woman that. Emerald eyes quickly grabbed a big box and started to carry it inside. It looked incredibly effortless when the brawny woman was carrying heavy stuff. They spent half an hour talking, before getting started. Raven didn’t register of what, the only thing she noticed was that she felt comfortable with the other woman. She seemed nice, polite, had an awful sense of humor, looked handsome and sexy as hell.

After they were almost finished with lugging boxes to Raven’s room, the other woman took of her shirt, wearing only a Pride-colored sports bra and her pants. Raven squeezed her water bottle a little extra by the sight of the other woman’s back, sweaty and muscly. She could feel her own mouth water before she saw a tattoo of a Libra with a cross and heart in each of the scales. When Sophie turned around, Raven could see a couple of roses, leafs and thorns on her right arm, a skull, G-clef and a Sweden flag on her left.

“Uh, so, I am Sophie by the way.” The woman stretched out her hand.

“Raven!” she replied and shook the other woman’s hand, sending lightning through her body.

“Nice to meet you Raven! What do you say, shall we finish this?” She signed at the boxes.

After the move was almost done, Sophie showed Raven the grounds. As they returned, Sophie told Raven that she lived in the same complex. Raven realized she had to thank the girl for her help, but it was hard to come up with something.

“Do you like pizza? I think I owe you one for your help. I would never have finished this if it weren’t for you.” Raven could actually feel hope again after that incident with the man she had been together with for so many years.

This woman was too good to be true, she was wonderful in every single way. Looking at her made Raven weak in her knees. What wouldn’t she feel when she got to know her more? That’s when a familiar blonde woman appeared in her room, kissing Sophie on her lips. Raven’s heart stopped beating, she felt her walls get back up. It was Clarke, the woman who had been a reason of the messy break-up with Finn. She was now the reason Raven would not be able to get to know this woman better. Jealousy struck, she could feel anger boil inside of her. She wanted to punch the blonde. Kick her ass and drive her around campus tied behind her car.

“Can my girlfriend join us for pizza?” Raven could see sadness in the tattooed lady’s eyes. Raven sighed and nodded, she greeted Clarke. Thinking that maybe, there was no happy ending for her.

 

**(Present day)**

“I shouldn’t have behaved like that right?” Raven could feel the sickly feeling of guilt linger in her chest.

“Probably not, if you care for her.” Clarke said solemnly. “The team is kind of her family, and she lives for her friends. If you don’t get on their good side, you’re doomed.”

“If I were you, I would’ve waited to say anything to the girl for a while.” Lexa sounded serious.

“I know, I’ve screwed shit up,” Raven looked down on her hands, realizing she might have lost the love of her life.

The rest of the drive to their apartment was quiet, everyone was probably afraid to make Raven upset again. It didn’t bother her though, she just thanked Lexa for the ride before taking a swift shower.

When it was time to sleep, Raven just twisted around in her king-sized bed. It was too big to sleep in by herself. She wished Sophie would contact her, she watched her phone, nothing. Raven sighed before drifting of in a cascade of nightmares.


	13. Taking care of their bodies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke are suffering from compression syndrome since they had been working out the previous evening. Therefore Lexa thinks it's a good idea for them to do something about it, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, this chapter is full of much needed Clexa fluff. Hope you'll like it! Thanks again for your feedback guys and keep letting me know what you think! :) 
> 
> By the way, the next chapter will be longer than usual.

**Lexa**

Getting out of the bed in the morning was harder than ever before. Lexa’s muscles were sorer than she could remember that they had been before. What had she done to herself? Training was no good for her body, she would have to quit with that bad habbit before she had even started. When she had finally gotten up from the bed she had troubles with putting on her clothes. Lexa’s neck and arms were rigid, probably because of the helmet. The unaccustomed movements she had had to do was probably another reason for her inability to move like a normal human being. An elderly person would probably do a better job with gracious movements than she could make at the moment.

She looked at her cellphone.

**Clarke Griffin**

**_06.45_ **

_I’m more of a refrigerator today, I can’t move. I think I'll skip class today. Hope you’re able to get something done. XOXO_

So she wasn’t alone with having a body that didn’t respond as it should, it was a rather comforting thought. When she later started to make breakfast, she remembered that she didn’t have to get to work today. Which made Lexa think that she might be able to spend some time with Clarke.

**Lexa Woods**

**_06.50_ **

_I have trouble moving my arms, you up for a lunch and maybe do something later? XOXO_

**Clarke Griffin**

**_06.51_ **

_I’d love to, pick me up at 12?_

Lexa smiled at herself before answering. Today, she was going to surprise her girl. She had to make some calls and by 11 Lexa had still not changed her clothes. Panicking, she just picked a clean white shirt and a pair of beige chinos. She hurried to put on some natural make-up. Natural make-up, that doesn’t exist, either you wear make-up or not, she thought to herself.

At 12 Lexa picked up Clarke, she was looking as lovely as ever in a thin cotton dress and her hair was flowing around her shoulders. Looking like an angel, Clarke placed a soft kiss on Lexa's lips before asking why she had to bring a bikini. Lexa just smiled and shrugged her shoulders before driving to the next stop.

They went to an Asian sushi bar, ordering some miso-soup and loads of pieces of Nigirizushi. Their waitress was really sweet and helpful when they had trouble ordering. So they got a bit of everything. Lexa watched Clarke when she ate with chopsticks, it looked like she had done it several times before. Lexa on the other hand, barely got something in her mouth before dropping it back on her plate. The sight made Clarke laugh her angelic laughter. It made Lexa warm inside and also made her forget the embarrassment in not being able to eat properly. After a while, their waitress seemed to think Lexa had suffered enough, because she gave her some tips on how to use the sticks. All of a sudden Lexa got better at it than Clarke, so Lexa thanked her instructor.

Post-dinner, Lexa drove away from town, Clarke got a cute frown in her forehead. She had no idea where they were going. Lexa took her hand in hers, looking into her eyes before keeping her eyes on the road again.

“So, what do you think we are supposed to do now?” Lexa asked, utterly amused by Clarke’s confusion.

“I have no idea whatsoever,” she said apologetically.

“Well, our muscles are tired and sore. Thankfully we have friends who knows people who can help us with that,” Lexa smiled at her own genius.

“Uh, massage?”

“Maybe.” Lexa looked smug before driving into a small road that lead up to a large mansion. There was a sign saying “The spa of Trikru” in front of the house. Clarke lightened up, jumping around in her seat. Lexa giggled at her, she looked as happy as a kid on Christmas Eve.

She tried to memorize her this way, looking happy. It was one of the few things that made Lexa joyful inside to her core.

They got out of the car before entering a small room, the air calm and comfortable. The room was filled with cozy furniture and candles.

“Woods and Griffin?” a white-haired woman at the front desk asked.

“Yes,” Lexa answered looking at Clarke.

“Swedish massage and sauna therapy?”

“Yes, that’s right!”

“Follow me please.”

They followed the woman to a locker room where they were advised to change into their bikinis. Later they went into a room with relaxing music and two bed boards with two pretty girls standing next to both tables.

“Please, lay down on your stomachs,” One of the girls said.

Laying on the bed having someone massage the hell out of the muscle soreness was extremely pleasurable and excruciating, Lexa thought. The both women just lay there, letting someone else take care of them for a while.

 

After a much-needed massage Lexa could feel her limbs return to their normal range of movement. That was before they went into the hot sauna themselves, no one remotely close. Lexa became utterly aware of Clarke’s body close to hers. The warmth in the small space not only radiating from the radiator but also from the two women’s bodies. Lexa moved in closer to Clarke, letting her hand rest on Clarke’s thigh, before turning her head towards the blonde. Wet lips met hers before she could react, Clarke’s arms were around her, making her straddle the blonde woman. Sitting above Clarke made Lexa wet, not only from the sweat. It felt as her heart was pounding faster and faster as they kissed, their tongues met each other. Kisses trailing across her neck, her collarbone, her shoulders. Lexa just purred from the pleasure, letting her own hands trail along the other woman’s back, shoulders, collarbone and then touched her chest, putting her hands inside the bikini. Their kisses were sending Lexa to cloud nine, she could keep going forever. This was what she wanted, Clarke in her arms, kissing her. They both wanted more, but they were bothered by one of the masseuses who came in to tell them their dinner was served.

"Oh, but I just started to enjoy myself!" Clarke said with a weak smile at the brown-haired woman next to her.


	14. Finally spilling her heart out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has trouble concentrating since she only thinks of her lady-friend Lexa. There is a swimming class where Linctavia is taking Cora. Clarke gets home to a devastated friend who finally spills the beans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is full of angst and comfort. I hope you'll like it though, please let me know what you think! Love you guys!
> 
> What do you think should be in the next chapter, Raven's or Sophie's POV?

**Clarke**

The next day, Clarke had a lecture, but she also had trouble concentrating. She and Lexa had had the most romantic date yesterday. After dinner in the spa, they went to a movie. The movie was extremely boring but they made-out the whole time. Therefore Lexa was forgiven the bad choice of movie.

After the movie she had to go home to her place though which was a bummer, Clarke had wanted to sleep at Lexa’s. Raven needed her friends, but Octavia had decided to sleep at Lincoln’s so Clarke needed to get home to the wreck of a woman she saw sitting on the couch.

After the lecture Clarke had swimming classes again. The first groups of kids did pretty good and everything went smoothly. The last group Clarke tried to look for Lexa, but her heart sank in her chest when she saw Cora without her mom. Lincoln and Octavia were walking towards a table pretty close to the pool. They were talking and laughing with each other, holding hands and they looked so happy. Clarke felt her heart melt a bit at the thought of her friend being in love and looking so joyful.

Cora seemed happy to be back in class and she happily greeted Clarke and Sophie.

 

Later when they were done with their job, had showered, Clarke and Sophie sat in Clarke’s car. Then, Clarke couldn’t help herself but to ask her friend about the other day.

“You okay S?” the redhead watched her closely.

“No, not really,” Clarke sighed, they were both horrible at ventilating their true emotions.

“Your teammates?”

“They’re good, I said that I had no idea she was the jealous type. They just felt bad for me, but promised they’ll give her another chance if I think it’s worth it.”

Clarke’s chest ached, she felt so sad for Raven. The blonde wanted the other woman to be happy, and she knew that there only was one person in this world who actually deserved her. Because Raven only deserved the best. She was really a precious cinnamon roll. Clarke was afraid to hear the answer, but she had to ask anyway.

“And, do you? I mean, do you think it’ll be worth it?” Sophie eyed the driver closely before looking through the window. Her voice crackling.

“I…I have no idea. She has pushed this too far. The only thing she does is open up, and then pushes me even further away. I don't know how much more shit I can take.”

She started to swallow much more frequently than needed, Clarke knew she swallowed her tears. Sophie had always been the strong and silent type, not showing others when she was hurt. Clarke tried to give her a comforting pat on her back, thinking it might help a bit.

Later, when Clarke had dropped her friend off, she got home. Seeing Raven sit in the couch, her eyes bloodshot and with a blanket around her body. She had a bottle of whiskey and an empty bucket of ice-cream by her side. Raven was sniffling, her hair was everywhere. That was when Clarke realized she had had enough, she had to talk to her friend.

“Jeez, girl, this bottle was new when I left home, it’s empty already? What have you done today?” Clarke asked before throwing away the garbage and getting Raven a cold glass of water.

“I got to work. They gave me a scrap of metal and I turned it into a car Clarke. I can repair a non-functional car to the vehicle of your dreams. But I can’t handle myself, I can’t repair myself,” Despair in Raven’s eyes. “I have screwed up, she hasn’t texted me or anything since before the practice.”

“Have you been drinking the whole day?” Clarke got anxious for her roommate.

“No, I worked until ten before I said I was sick and went home.” She started to cry before Clarke hugged her, trying to shush her.

“I think you can get another chance Raven, just, stop being so jealous.”

“I don’t think it’s that easy, I’ve hurt her before,” Raven shuddered in her friend’s arms.

“What? When?” Clarke wondered why there existed a story which she didn’t know anything of. Raven sighed before speaking up.

“It was a year after you guys had broken up. I was with Octavia on the The Pounder Grounder’s concert when they were playing here. After they had played, I went backstage to tell Sophie and her band how great they were. I ended up in Sophie’s private lounge.I can still remember the music playing there, Crucified Barbara with Rock me like the devil.” Raven closed her eyes remembering. “No I can't fake it, 'cause when you walk in through the door, I get all messed up, yeah I lose it. Every time you touch me, I shiver to the bone. As a part of the game. That you can't play alone. Rock me like the devil. Whip your tail and turn me on. You turn me to eleven, leave me burning when you're done,” she started to sing.

Clarke remained silent, since she figured Raven wasn’t done with her story-telling. Raven slid her hand through her hair, frowning because it was tangled. “She just sat in her leather couch, looking handsome as always in her leather vest and tight jeans. I noticed her new tattoos so I sat next to her, trailing her roses. Asking her about them,” Raven looked at Clarke. “The roses were symbols for people who her heart beat for, the thorns for her big mistakes and the leafs were for decorative purpose only.”

Clarke smirked at that, remembering the woman telling her the stories behind the tags.

“One was for her cousin, the only family she thought were left, one for her handball team, one for her football team and one for her band,” Clarke remembered. “And one for me,” she observed her friend so that she wouldn’t become angry with her comments.

“Yeah, and there were also a rose-bud. I asked her about it, she didn’t want to answer at first. She told me that all her other tags were symbols for her, since she always had trouble telling others about her feelings, so it might help people to understand her. I looked into her beautiful eyes, saying that I wanted to know what she felt. She smiled at me before touching the bud herself. Do you know why she had it?”

“No,” Clarke didn’t know about the new ones, and she was surprised that she felt okay to be talking about Sophie.

“It was for a love she never had, but that she hoped would blossom one day. At that I asked her if the other girl knew, and she answered that she didn’t know. I told her that I loved someone who I had been too afraid I would lose as a friend if I told her. She smiled at me with that sparkle in her eyes before grabbing my face into a kiss. I forgot who I was, she was such a great kisser and I felt as if I had found the missing parts of myself. I had found my soulmate. We kissed for a couple of minutes, hugged and just enjoyed the moment.”

“She always was a great kisser yeah,” Clarke remembered, feeling there would come a sad twist to this story.

“Her manager opened the door after a while, stepping inside with two girls and said Sophie had groupies to take care of. She told him and the girls that all she could do was to sign autographs, that she didn’t want to do things with them. He yelled at her, saying she had to make them happy. She only said there was one girl she wanted to make happy. I snapped, feeling embarrassed because I had opened up and let her in, embarrassed that someone bothered us, embarrassed that I thought I could get a place in Sophie’s heart.”

“Oh no, Raven, what did you do?” Clarke became horrified for her friend's sake, since she had seen how Raven could become when she snapped.

“I told the girls that the rock star was a fantastic kisser and wouldn’t make them disappointed. Then I proceeded to make-out with the guard outside the door. Sophie saw me, and the hurt in her eyes made me satisfied at the time. But now…all I see is the disappointment and hurt. I left her with those girls, I wish I hadn’t left her Clarke.” Raven cried into Clarke’s shoulder, the latter woman could feel her own shirt getting soaked with tears, but she couldn’t care less.

Her friend was sad and she needed her. Talking about Clarke’s ex didn’t hurt her more than the hurt she could see in the dark-haired woman. Clarke petted the other woman’s head, trying to make her a bit less sad. Raven’s phone beeped, she couldn’t stop crying even when she picked it up.

“It's Sophie, she said there’s a party at her place this Friday,” her face lit up before her eyes filled with tears again. “Her teammates are coming, and this is apparently my last chance.”

“Then make the best of it Raven!” Clarke could feel her chest become lighter at the sight of hope in her friend’s eyes.


	15. I give you my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven is going to the dinner party with Clarke and Octavia. She is determined to make up with Sophie. They have a deep conversation, will they give each other a true chance at happiness?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly I want to thank you for all the comments, kudos and subscriptions! You guys are the best!
> 
> Secondly, this chapter is extremely different than previous ones, I hope it'll work for you. 
> 
> Thirdly, I don't think you are ready for what's coming in this chapter!
> 
> Warning: angst, bad language, fluff and confusion is mentioned in this chapter.
> 
> As usual, let me know what you guys think, and enjoy!

**Raven**

Since Tuesday, Raven thought that the time had stopped. She could feel her grey hairs start to show before it was even Friday. So, time practically stood still for the girl. Her anxiety lay heavy over her the whole week, she didn’t know what the night would offer.

Directly after work, Raven went home. She rummaged through all of her drawers and her closet, but found no clothes to wear for the dinner party. Why didn’t she own a cute cocktail dress? She sighed as she scratched her neck, hearing her roommates getting home. Clarke threw a bag Raven’s way and sent her a sly smile. As Raven opened it she found a white dress with floral patterns, without straps. There were roses on it. As Raven tried it on, she felt her insecurity about the evening disappear. At least she would look like a dream. She let her hair out, put on some romantic make-up and choose her white-heels. The nervousness hit her again, how could her dream girl ever forgive her? Taking a deep breath she scavenged a dresser in Octavia’s room, finding a pair of pearl-earrings and a matching necklace. Octavia just laughed at her, especially since she shook while putting them on.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this nervous before!” Raven just shoot her a warning glare before checking her reflection in the mirror, for the tenth time in an hour.

“You ready to go guys?” She asked, realizing it wouldn’t get any better than this.

“Sure!” her friends said in canon.

Raven could feel the weight on her shoulders become heavier as she went to get the flowers and wine bottle she was about to bring to the hostess. She desperately hoped that Sophie would like the gesture, she had no idea what she would do otherwise.

 

**Sophie**

She checked herself out in the mirror, wearing a dress was nothing she did every day. Damn, she looked hot. I would date me, she thought to herself. The dress was emerald-green, it went down to her knees, had thin shoulder straps and enough cleavage to just show of a perfect amount of her boobs. She sighed as she remembered why she was trying so hard, this would be the last chance to find out if her true love was exactly that. Her dark-read hair was recently dyed and her side-cut was on-point, a sigh slipped through her mouth before putting on some natural make-up and matching nail-polish. She wore a golden necklace with skulls and matching earrings.

As she walked downstairs she caught Lincoln staring at her with his jaws almost hanging to the floor. He was handsome in his tuxedo. He was now chopping vegetables for the hamburgers. Lincoln was almost cutting himself in his finger, therefore Sophie joined in to help him prepare for the dinner.

“You sure you should be handling a knife right now?” Sophie laughed at her friend.

“No, but…Damn girl! I don’t even remember seeing you in a dress before!” He took a sip from his opened beer bottle. “Are you trying to kill the girl or what?”

“Haha, na, just…I want to…I don’t know.” Sophie mumbled.

“Well, her eyes will definitely pop out of her head. If that’s what you’re aiming for…”

“I just think I want her to know, what she’ll be missing out if she doesn’t at least try.”

Sophie wondered where that honesty came from, she was sober. Why did she talk about her feelings? Then she started to think about the woman who would soon be arriving, making her heart flutter and her stomach feel heavier than ever before. This would really be her last try.

 

**Raven**

When the cab pulled up next to the green house, Raven felt her blood pumping way too fast. She felt like puking out of her nervousness. How would the other woman react to her? Raven’s tanned skin suddenly looked pale, upon which her friends helped her out of the car without even asking. Walking to the door felt like running a marathon, she couldn’t get there fast enough. At the same time she felt as she could have waited much longer. Octavia knocked on the door. As the door opened, Raven was anything but prepared for what she would see.

It felt like looking at an angel, Sophie looked like a goddess. Raven gasped and had to hold her mouth from dropping to the floor. The tattooed lady was adorable in her dress. It showed off the right amount of boobs, ass and tattoos that made Raven blush from all the naughty things she thought they should do together.

They were greeted with a warm smile from the hostess, though she looked a bit like she didn’t know what she should do. Hugging Clarke and Octavia before turning to Raven. She looked into her eyes before seeing the peace offerings. A new smile on her face as Raven handed her the gifts.

“Thank you! How did you know I loved tulips and Italian wine?” she looked sincerely surprised of the fact that someone had actually thought of her.

“I…remember stuff…” Raven said, not being able to say anymore.

Sophie got so excited by the gifts, that she couldn’t help herself from giving Raven the biggest hug the latter woman had ever gotten. Before running inside, to tell Lincoln about the gifts.

 

**Sophie**

The fact that Raven cared enough to remember those little things made Sophie much happier to have believed in the other woman. Still, she felt they needed to have a one-on-one talk.

She took the other woman’s hand in hers, feeling the warmth spreading all over. Sophie had trouble concentrating on her task, Raven was looking lovely as ever in her white, rose dress. It was also problematic to walk in high heels, which was not Sophie’s favorite pastime.

As they got out into the massive garden, the two of them walked to the fountain some distance from the house and sat down by a wooden bench. Sophie sighed as she tried to collect herself, she had been thinking of this moment the whole week. Now this was it, but she didn’t want to talk. All she wanted to do was to kiss Raven everywhere, her luscious lips looked excruciatingly kissable. It was Raven who let her hand slip out of Sophie’s first, stuttering, mumbling. Sophie didn’t make out any word from it.

“You okay?” Sophie said, eyeing the other woman.

“No, I’m not. It’s been horrible. I…I just don’t want to…I…”

“What? You can talk to me.”

 

**Raven**

“I don’t think you have realized what a douche you’ve been to me. I know you actually slept with those groupies and loads of other girls when you broke up with Clarke. You just wanted to screw me and then let me go. You’re just like everyone else!” The dark-haired woman blurted out.

Raven immediately regretted her words though, seeing the other woman getting up from the bench. She did not look like an angel anymore, she seemed to be more of a monster. Her eyes were dark from anger. Sophie’s head almost overheated and before she even opened her mouth, Raven got scared and wanted to run away. The white-dressed woman swallowed deeply as the other woman just glared at her, trying not to yell, but in vain.

“You must be fucking kidding me!” Sophie yelled, spit flying everywhere, her fist massacring the closest bush. “I was able to sleep with who the fuck I wanted, for what I knew you were either straight or didn’t want me!”

The bush next to the tattooed lady was no more, every leaf had fallen to the ground. Her face was red from frustration. Raven realized, it was actually her fault, she had made this woman who usually were a teddy bear to a mad bear.

“I…it just hurt every time I saw you kiss Clarke, because I wanted to be the woman kissing you. It hurt when I saw you guys holding hands, because I wanted that to be me holding you. It hurt when she talked about what you guys did in bed.” Raven looked down at her own feet, hoping Sophie could cool down.

“You don’t think I hurt myself?” Sophie said after returning into her normal state of mind, sitting down again. “Every kiss, I felt guilty, every hug, every time we fucked…I felt guilty for having feelings for two women at the same time. I couldn’t be unfaithful, I wouldn’t.” Sophie looked at Raven with hurt in her eyes.

Raven took her hand in hers again, striking it with her thumb.

“I actually had ideas of a polyamorous relationship for a while, but realized I couldn’t, it’s enough to handle one woman at a time.” Her head was now hanging, her eyes not far from tears.

 

**Sophie**

“You know, I was scared meeting you. I actually thought I was straight before you.” Raven said while watching the blue sky. “You made me doubt myself. I had troubles with the fact that there had only been one person who cared about me my entire life. He had shown himself to be a dirt bag. The only friend I had was Clarke, I fell for you, and it was love at first sight. I couldn’t let me feel it though, I didn’t want to hurt Clarke.”

“Oh, I felt the same for you. I wanted to be with you, but I couldn’t.” Sophie started to fiddle with her necklace.

“It was also hard to understand my feelings. I had always thought I only could have romantic feelings for boys.”

“When did you know?” Sophie slowly said.

“The first winter the year we met, during the ski trip. Then I was certain I was bi.”

 

**(Flashback to the ski trip)**

 

Raven, Sophie, Clarke, Lincoln, Octavia, Anya, Bellamy, Jasper, Maya and Monty had gone to a ski resort and rented a huge cottage. They skied for the first day, coming back to the cabin, eating hamburgers, drinking beer and telling each other stories by the fireplace. After some time it was only Raven and Sophie sitting on the couch. Candles were lit around them, some slow music was playing. They just talked about life in general, before Sophie asked for a dance. Sitting down not doing anything just wasn’t her cup of tea. Standing up, Raven let her hands behind the other woman’s neck, Sophie’s hands on Raven’s back. Heat streaming through both women’s bodies, electricity in the air around them. Sophie looked into brown eyes, not being able to turn away. A strand of hair left her ear and fell into her face. That made the other woman put the hair back, leaving her hand on the other woman’s cheek. Both looked to the other’s lips, closing the gap between them. Just before their lips touched, Sophie broke away, remembering her girlfriend was sleeping in a room nearby.

 

**(Present day)**

 

“Yeah, I remember, from that moment on, you and I never were alone again. Almost never,” Sophie smiled, sadness in her eyes.

 

**Raven**

Seeing her crush smile made Raven’s heart flutter and every negative feeling she had had the whole week just disappeared. She grinned back, opening up to this woman felt immensely good.

“You only deserve the best Raven, and I hope you’ll understand that I’m here for you. I’m neither your parents nor Finn. I won’t go anywhere unless you want me to,” the words coming out of Sophie’s mouth were truthful.

“You deserve the best too. I am jealous because of what my damn ex did, but I’ll work on it for you,” Raven felt her chest rising faster and faster because of the beautiful woman next to her.

“We’ll get through this, as long as you try your best I’m good.”

Raven realized she couldn’t contain her feelings anymore, she had to tell the other woman what she felt deep inside, what her heart wanted.

“I’m in love with you, I love you more than I’ve loved anyone before. I loved you from the moment I first saw you.”

“I’m in love with you too Raven Reyes. I love you more than life itself.”

At that the two women met in a kiss, craving more. Their lips were so hungry for each other, their noses struck each other. Hands trailing each other’s backs, eyes closed, enjoying the moment. Raven felt like the most fortunate woman in the world. They sat there for some time, just kissing, taking in lost time. Being in love for seven years but never saying anything made them hungrier than ever before for each other’s embrace, now they knew how the other felt.


	16. Taking command

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is helping to make the dinner party a great event, taking command of everyone. All guests are having a good time, or have they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all your love and feedback! I hope you'll like this chapter! 
> 
> Oh, and feel free to contact me if you wish, either here or on my tumblr: Metalqueen91.

**Lexa**

As Lexa knocked on the door to Sophie’s and Lincoln’s place, no one came to open. She just sighed and let herself in, since she knew she was already late and they might need her help. There were loads of food to prepare for the huge amount of people coming in an hour.

Looking around the bottom floor, she saw everyone glued to the glass door and big windows leading out to the garden on the back of the house. Lexa got curious, what were all grown-ups observing? Didn’t they have more important things to do?

She decided to sneak up behind Clarke and give her a hug. The blonde woman jumped at that, before she noticed who it was. Clarke kissed the brunette before turning back. Everyone said hello before continuing their observations. When Lexa saw what the others were watching she gasped. Raven and Sophie were sitting out there, making out. That was not even the biggest surprise, which actually was that Sophie wore a dress and high heels.

Lexa felt sad for the two of them having such a big audience. She demanded everyone to know how they were doing with everything, snapping everybody out of their trance. Lincoln just yelled something illogical before running out to the grill. Since the hostess was busy and nobody else seemed to want to take charge, Lexa started to arrange everything. Octavia got to set the tables, Clarke and Lexa helped each other with carrying more tables and chairs to the patio. Thankfully Lincoln helped them with were everything was. At the same time he lit the grill and prepared the meat.

Luckily, the lovebirds finally let go of each other’s mouths. Raven and Sophie came walking hand in hand to the patio, smiling brighter than two suns. The latter checked the time on her phone, shrieking.

“Shit! In about an hour, 30 people will arrive and we’re not nearly done!” She ran to the kitchen, pulling Raven with her.

They started to chop more vegetables and preparing fries. Lexa and Clarke went to take some wine glasses and started to help with what else needed to be doing.

When the girls from Sophie’s teams started to drop in, everything was ready. So everyone sat down in the patio, Lincoln and Octavia served the burgers to everyone, looking extremely comfy together. Bellamy, Monty, Jasper, Maya and Anya showed up a bit late, bringing some bag in boxes, pouring drinks to everyone. Some chill background music was playing, everyone enjoyed the dinner, talking, laughing.

Lexa sat next to Clarke, holding the other woman’s hand. She could actually feel she belonged there, sitting next to her love, showing they were together. Or were they?

Clarke laughed at something Bellamy said, he was the person sitting in front of them.

“You guys, have you heard one of Sophie’s totally lame jokes?” he asked.

“Hit me!” Clarke said.

“One proton walked into a bar, asking the bartender for a drink. The bartender asked, are you sure? The proton answered, I’m positive!” Bellamy started to laugh so much he almost spilled out his drink.

Lexa and Clarke joined in, not so much because the joke was funny. More because of the fact that it was hilarious seeing Bellamy so unbelievably content with his joke. The fact he laughed so hard, he had to pant for breath was even more comic. As Lexa heard Clarke’s warm laughter, she could feel herself falling even more for the woman.

As the dessert was served Lexa didn’t know what was on the plate in front of her. It was something with cocoa, which was all she could see. Clarke seemed to see the thought-process in her crush’s mind.

“It is tiramisu, the most delicious sweet I’ve ever tasted. That is really, sex on a plate!” Clarke whispered with a seductive voice. “My favorite, after you Lexa.”

“If you say it’s good I have to try it.”

Just lying on the plate, the tiramisu looked nothing but appetizing. Seeing the delight in Clarke’s eyes, she knew there was more in this dessert than the fact she loved it. Lexa got a strange feeling in her gut, one telling her Clarke hadn’t been honest with her. A feeling that Clarke and Sophie had some kind of history. Why else did the other woman remember everything Clarke loved? Lexa tried to convince herself it was just because the two of them had been friends for so long.

“Thank you all for coming! I hope the main dish lived up to everyone’s standards.” A murmur from all guests who were saying it tasted delicious echoed all over the patio. “This is my favorite dessert of all, tiramisu, I hope you’ll like it. I made it myself.”

“She has been fixing with this the whole week,” Lincoln filled in. “Now, let’s eat!”

The first spoon Lexa led to her mouth, she was extremely sceptic. Immediately, as the sweet touched her lips, it was like eating clouds. The feeling of love and harmony filling her body from top to toe. Clarke was right, it also was like sex on a plate. Lexa could have done things with the blonde right then and there, affected by what she put in her mouth. After what felt like just two seconds, Lexa’s plate was empty, she wanted more. The pure taste, lingering in her mouth. She sighed, God it tasted perfect!

“I think I’ve found my favorite dessert!” Bellamy said, making noises like he was having sex.

“Me too,” Lexa agreed, not able to control her own moans.

As everyone finished devouring every crumb from their own plates, someone hit a glass with the spoon, addressing everyone’s attention.

“Now, there was supposed to be some funny games, but since we’re so full of nutrients, me and Anya are going to have a little concert for you guys!” cheering was heard from most people.

Anya brought her acoustic guitar on a little stage, Sophie brought a black instrument which Lexa hadn’t seen before. They started to play a melodic peace, before Anya was left to play with her guitar and Sophie started singing. It was a song about finding the true love, when having someone else. About the hurt from losing everything inside, not knowing who one was.

“At that, I found you. The moon to my sun. I’ve loved you since I saw your hazel eyes. Be mine for the rest of our lives.” Lexa looked at Clarke who scuffed, her arms crossed. “Let me guide you in the night, your heart will be safe with me.”

Lexa thought the love song, which obviously was about Raven, was romantic. The girl beside her seemed to be bothered by this though. As the song was over, everyone clapped their hands and cheered, except for Clarke. Raven got up on stage to kiss the singer, before returning to her place. Lexa noticed that the random girl, whom Raven tackled during the football practice was sitting across the table from Raven. They seemed to talk and laugh together, but the random girl, did she eye Sophie a bit too much?

“Are you okay Clarke?” Lexa asked curiously.

“Of course! Why would there be anything wrong?” Clarke didn’t convince Lexa.

“You look like you wish to slap Sophie in the face, what’s up with that?” Clarke snapped back from her, was it jealousy?

She seemed to think about a good answer, probably trying to whitewash why she just acted weird.

“Nothing, I just…Thought of something.”

Lexa wanted to be nosier, but was stopped by the hostess who said there were games ahead. At that Lexa could feel her competitive devil inside coming out. Forgetting that Clarke had been acting strange.


	17. The dinner party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is enjoying herself at the party, though there is drama on the way!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the late update! I've had an exam and got a huge writers block. Nothing came to me as I watched the screen for sometime, but now I'm back! I also intend to keep updating more than twice a week. I would also like to thank you for your feedback, it's great! Please, let me know what you think about this chapter.
> 
> I also want to take this opportunity to say that I'm heartbroken about the 100, I have not seen the third season. My Tumblr account made me see what happened though, and it was an extremely bad decision of JRott... I hope you all will feel well and not let that bastard ruin more than he already have. This work will not involve character deaths, I don't like reading it and I would be a hypocrite writing it. 
> 
> With that said, I hope some Clexa enjoying their lives will light up your day!

**Clarke**

Why did Clarke feel like shit? She knew that she was over her ex, but she still acted like she was jealous. What was wrong with her? She had the most gorgeous date at the party, a woman she actually had extremely warm feelings for, Lexa. Still she had weird feelings toward her friends?

Clarke looked at the brunette, she seemed pretty concerned. A smile from the blondes’ lips comforted the other woman, momentarily.

 

The dishes was put away and people were divided into teams, since not everyone knew each other they were supposed to play some games. Clarke got in the same team as Raven, the girl Raven had tackled, who apparently was named Anna and four other girls Clarke had met before. A balloon was handed to every team and they were supposed to make a circle, throw the balloon to someone else in the team as they said the person’s name. Actually it was a hilarious game, since it was extremely hard to hit the flying thing properly and everyone seemed to fail miserably. At least everyone laughed and complimented the hostess about it.

 

Sometime later, there was a soccer tournament. The garden was so huge they had a field in the far end of it. The teams who weren’t playing drank, and shouted at the people playing.

When Clarke’s team was supposed to play, they got to meet Lexa’s and Sophie’s team. Since they were quicker and more talented with the ball in the latter team, they had the game from the start. Anna was self-proclaimed goalie in her team and Clarke actually scored a goal on Sophie. Lexa called it cheating since Clarke only got her opportunity to kick the ball into the net because Raven run to Sophie, kissing her. The goal still counted, so they only lost 1-6 before some other teams were playing.

 

A while later, Lexa’s team was announced winners and they got chocolate medals as a prize. The air between everyone there was lifted and there were relaxed people just enjoying each other’s company. Dancing, laughing, and talking. Clarke noticed how Anna and Raven was talking, looking a bit in Sophie’s direction all the time. Sophie was shooting both girls a, was it an angry glance?

Clarke decided to get over to the winning team, so she gave her girl, girlfriend? A big kiss, saying her congratulations. She watched Sophie with an amused smile while holding Lexa’s hand.

“Can you see how much Sophie is watching over the two girls over there?” Clarke whispered to Lexa who nodded.

“Yeah and they both look over here all the time, I don’t know who is eyeing our hostess the most?” Lexa said before Lincoln wanted a word with the brunette. “I got to go check what he wants. Could you be a doll and bring me a beer?”

“Sure!” Clarke kissed Lexa before Sophie closed the distance between them.

“Don’t you think Raven is smiling a bit too much at Anna?” she asked, a frown in her forehead. “Well, no? They’re both watching you?”

“What? No! Anna…she is my on my team, she can’t…you really think?” Sophie looked shocked at my insinuations. “Oh, crap!”

“It’s probably nothing, but she might be in the same team as you in more than one meaning,” Clarke said, trying to comfort her friend, realizing she only made it worse. “I need to go get a beer. Why don’t you go talk to your girlfriend?”

“I guess I’ll…do that!” Clarke headed to the kitchen, the only place on the grounds were there were no other people at the moment. She sighed as she grabbed two beers from the fridge, hearing someone giggle right behind her. A stumbling Anna was throwing herself down a chair in the kitchen. Watching Clarke, her brown hair in a tight knot in the back of her head. Her brown eyes pierced through Clarke’s.

“Hiya there!” she giggled.

“So, you okay?”

“Well, no…” Anna went from happy to sad in two seconds, tears were streaming down her face. “I know you know Sophie.”

“That is correct.” Clarke grinded her teeth, feeling her heart pound faster as she realized where the conversation was going. “I guess you already figured out why I checked her out…I’m in love with her. I fell for her the first moment I saw her. In that godforsaken locker room…I know she has a girlfriend and I don’t want to screw anything up for them. I just…She is the one who have encouraged me to accept who I am. I really didn’t know I dared coming out of the closet before I got to know her.” She put her face in her hands.

“Um…you need more to drink?” Clarke offered her a beer, she felt sorry for the poor sod.

“Thanks, but I think I’ve had enough. Just told her how I felt, she…well, she rejected me nicely anyway. Telling me we could stay friends, but…I don’t want that.”

“You’d rather quit the team and not even have her as a friend anymore?”

“No? Oh shit! What have I done?” The woman ran straight out to the couple.

Clarke watched from inside, maybe she should go check out what would happen? Though her drama sense had been filled from resent events, so she decided to go talking to Anya. She was dancing all by herself close to a fountain. It looked funny, so the blonde woman joined her. Earning a big smile from the other woman.

“You think this is big enough to jump into?” Anya asked, nodding to the decoration.

“Yeah, let’s try!” Both women giggled as they jumped into it, getting water up to their knees. Clarke was still holding two beers, while prancing around, singing to the music playing from the party. Anya sang too, but she was way out of key, making Clarke laugh even more.

“I’m glad you and Lexa have found each other. Just don’t hurt her, or I’ll find you!” Anya said with a serious face.

“I swear, I’ll protect her heart!” Clarke answered while holding one beer in front of her heart.

“Good, let’s keep dancing!”


	18. Count me in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sophie and Raven thinks about things in the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure when I'll be able to update again. Therefore you'll get one chapter today! Enjoy!
> 
> Thank you for your feedback, and please, keep let me know what you think!
> 
> TW: Violence and bad language is described in this chapter, so beware.

**Sophie**

Hosting a party with this many people took loads of energy from the redhead, but she was pretty content with the fact that most guests seemed to enjoy themselves. One particular incident was however, a bit disturbing. How come did one of her teammates have a crush on her? When did being polite and nice to people seem flirty? Many thoughts was flying around in her head as her girlfriend was standing next to her. Holding her hand and looking like a dream.

Anna was standing in front of the two of them right now. Her coffee brown eyes looking apologetic, her brown hair now flowing all around the place.

“So, I think I made a rash decision before… I know that you might not want to be friends anymore…” she started to brush an invisible spot on her green dress.

“Um, we could surely be friends, but you got to work on your feelings. I’m together with Raven here.” Raven looked proudly at her partner.

“I know, but friends... We can still be that right?” Anna asked shyly, hesitantly.

“Sure, just… Don’t think that things will change.”

“I know, sorry.” She slouched her shoulders before walking away.

The couple eyed each other, both feeling sorry for the woman.

“You know, we’ve had a threesome before,” Raven said seducing.

“Oh no! We’ll break the poor girl’s heart for real!” Sophie sounded guilty.

“Hm… right!” Raven seemed a bit disappointed.

“You know, we haven’t done that just ourselves yet.” Sophie muttered before looking out over the other people at the party.

Everyone was dancing, at least, most people. Lincoln and Octavia was dancing together, really close, kissing like they’ve never been able to kiss each other before. Sophie laughed at the two of them, the big brawny guy and the lean woman looked way too adorable together.

She decided to take a stroll with the wonderful woman by her side, before taking something more to drink. They found several friends dancing and splashing water at each other in the fountain. Lexa and Clarke was splashing in the same time they drank beer. Bellamy and Anya was splashing each other, looking extremely flirty at each other.

“Lexa and Clarke I knew, but Bellamy and Anya?” Raven laughed.

“Well, love is love!” Sophie smiled at her girlfriend.

“I’m glad we finally sorted things out.”

“Me too!” They kissed, a sweet and longing kiss. “ Hey! Do you remember the time when you beat the crap out of those guys on the pub by the way? I thought it only was because he was being a sexist pig. Now I realize it was because you had feelings for me.”

“Well, yeah, I’m not proud of it…”

 

**(Flashback to 4 years ago)**

 

Raven, Clarke, Sophie, Octavia, Anya and Maya had a girl’s night out at the local pub. They knew almost everyone who worked there or hung around there. So they had a great time, drinking wine, dancing and laughing. Until four shady guys came in, wearing leather jackets and looking like they owned the place. The guys started to make a lot of noise, screaming at the bartenders, wolf whistling at all the girls and were just being obnoxious to everyone around.

After a while they came to the women’s table, a guy with an ugly beard and a big beer belly hanging out under his jacket started talking. He seemed to be their leader.

“You ladies know how to give a man a good time right?” He did especially eye Raven who was wearing a pair of short shorts and a short sleeved blouse, showing of some cleavage. “Don’t you want to give us some fun?” she was the one sitting by the edge of the table so she was closest to the asshole.

Sophie started to boil inside, the man was being a total pig. She looked at Anya, wondering if the woman would help her kick his ass if needed. One nod from her, she knew she was in. They were the only two women in the group who had been training some martial arts for some time.

“You men can’t have a good time on your own?” Sophie snapped.

“I know for sure you whores wants some big cocks!” He said, making his friends smile. “That is all you need. Some cocks!”

“Then you sure as hell don’t know what we want!” Anya stood up, just like Sophie did by that time.

“Of course you’d do anything for us! You don’t dare anything else.”

The bearded man took a hold of Raven, lifting her from her chair. That was when Sophie snapped, she flew at the man, punching him so hard on his nose he started to bleed. He released Raven, whom Octavia helped to sit down. Sophie proceeded to kick the man on his nuts, making him kneel down on the floor. His friends started to run toward the redhead, but she was backed up by a blonde woman who was like a whirlwind in the fight. They threw punches and kicks at the men who had no chanse to block them. After four minutes the men fled the bar, after being totally crushed by two extraordinary women. Everyone in the bar cheered at Anya and Sophie, buying a round of drinks to their company.

Sophie just cared about one thing, if Raven was okay. She walked over to her, hugging her.

“I’d never let anyone hurt you.” She said, looking into her exquisite eyes.

“I know. I’m never afraid when you’re around.” Raven answered.

At the bar they started playing Crucified Barbara’s song, Count me in.

 

 _ **Count me in I’m going anywhere**_ , ** _I’ll be_ _there_**

_**Count me in I’m going anywhere for you** _

_**If they try to lay their hands on you, or take you away** _

**_I promise I’ll hide you under ground_ **

**_But don’t be scared angel eyes_** ,

**_No I won’t let nobody get to you_ **

 

**(Back to the present)**

 

“You know I wouldn’t blink an eye before defending you again right?” Sophie said with the softest voice she could have.

“You know I would do the same to you right?” Raven answered shyly.

Sophie’s chest filled with pride, because the fantastic woman beside her was making her the luckiest lady on earth. She had trouble in believing her own luck. She closed the distance between them and kissed her again. Feeling how she got to cloud nine. She intended to stay there with Raven.


	19. After party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clexa helps in the aftermath of the party, before having a party on their own...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some much needed Clexa smut for you guys! Thanks for all the love and comments, I really appreciate it! Please, keep letting me know what you think, it's the best part about writing. Enjoy!
> 
> XOXO

**Lexa**

At around 3 AM most guests had left the grounds. Lexa and Clarke stayed to help Lincoln and Octavia clean up the mess after everyone, while Sophie and Raven started the dishwasher.

Linctavia was looking adorable together as usual, working together like they read each other’s minds. Kissing, when they thought nobody was watching. Lexa couldn’t help herself from feeling total bliss, her close friend having found his true love. Knowing he was together with a great woman, did also make the brunette less scared of how her daughter would handle it. She later started to wonder if Cora knew anything.

“Hey Lincoln!” Lexa shouted as they were done with the housework.

“Yeah!?” he jogged to his friend.

“Does Cora know?” Lexa didn’t realize before now, that she was a bit affected with all the booze she had drank during the evening.

“No, I thought it would be better to see how things go before I’ll tell her. You?” Lincoln spluttered, totally affected by alcohol.

“Nah, just wanted to wait me too…”

“Great! Well, I’ve got to go to bed now. Are you coming doll?” he asked Octavia who hobbled to her boyfriend.

“Thanks for your help commander, also, check to see that Clarke will get home safely.” Octavia said.

“You know it!”

 

Clarke didn’t really want to get home just yet, she wanted to party on. Lexa on the other hand could feel her head starting to pound.

Thankfully her headache eased up when they had gotten to Lexa’s apartment. Therefore Clarke jumped toward Lexa’s old LP player, picking an old Alice Cooper album, the song Poison filling the living room. Making the taller woman smile at her.

 

**I want to love you but I better not touch,**

**I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop,**

**I want to kiss you but I want it too much,**

**I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison,**

**You’re poison running through my veins**

 

They start to slow dance, feeling the others arms against one another, breast bumping together, eyes locked into the others. Lexa felt like home in Clarke’s arms, it felt right. She watched Clarke lick her lower lip before kissing her. Sending sparks through all of her body, feeling heat rising everywhere. The blonde started to kiss her neck, moving her long hair to the other shoulder, nibbling her earlobe. Lexa groaned, letting her hands touch Clarke’s butt. The taller girls dress was removed above her head, letting the shorter kiss her boobs, removing the bra. Afterwards she started to lick her nipples, making them perky. Lexa could feel her breath becoming heavier and heavier. Clarke pushed her down on the couch, before removing all of her own clothes. Lexa felt herself getting closer to the edge just by seeing the blonde's perfect body, the sexy curves of her girlfriend, or were they together? Clarke lay on top of her, letting her fingers feel the damp cloth of Lexa’s laced underwear.

“Oh, fuck Clarke! Stop teasing!” Lexa moaned, making the blonde’s pulse fasten.

“Oh no, Lexa, you’re not allowed to come just yet!” Clarke’s eyes glistened before she removed her underwear.

Letting her tongue taste Lexa, her fingers were touching the sweet folds as she put her tongue inside. Feeling the wetness and warmth of the brunette. As Lexa felt herself almost get to the edge she started screaming of pleasure, but Clarke stopped. A wide smile across her face.

“Told you, you had to wait!” she lay down on her back, spreading her legs so that the other woman could see her fantastic vagina.

Lexa felt her pulse getting faster as she saw Clarke’s fingers starting to move. Circling around the clit, before thrusting two of them inside of her, while three fingers from her other hand rubbed the sweet spot. She did the motions faster and faster, panting, moaning, making Lexa feel her own wetness become overwhelming. It pounded between her legs, she kept watching Clarke, but let her own fingers circle her own clit. The blonde’s eyes opened, a smile on her face as she watched the brunette do herself. After a while of rubbing, touching and thrusting, both women exploded into screams. The shorter woman returned to her position on top of the taller. She was still panting, she was still wet, ready for more. Lexa grinned at her, because she felt the same. They started kissing, tongues linking together. Making them both feel more needy and ready to have each other.

“You’re sexy as hell,” Lexa moaned as Clarke sat on top of her face.

“Mhm, you too…now, fuck me Lex!”

The brunette let her tongue taste the love of her life. She tasted so sweet and sexy, she could eat her out every day for the rest of her life. Clarke whimpered above her while rocking forth and back, her eyes closed.

“Harder!” Lexa put in thrusted three fingers inside her, making her sound even more.

She pushed in and out harder and harder until Clarke’s walls tightened around her fingers and Clarke shrieked so high-pitched that she couldn’t even hear anything. Afterwards the blonde collapsed beside her.

“Thank you babe, you’re the best!” the blonde said honestly.

“Anything for you,” Lexa licked her fingers clean before kissing the other woman.

“Shit, I’m wasted,” Clarke said later and fell asleep.

Lexa just laughed before putting a blanket on top of them. She could definitely get used to this, she thought before giving Clarke a peck on her forehead.


	20. Getting out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke gets a flashback to when she first planned to tell her mother about the fact she was not straight.
> 
> Or
> 
> The chapter when we get to know why Sophie broke their engagement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is full of hurt but also a glimmer of hope. Maybe some of us will recognize a moment when it has been overwhelming to tell someone about yourself. For Clarke, it was hard to tell the most important person, but Abby might know more than she shows.
> 
> I hope you'll like this chapter, and for all of you who loves the Sophie/Raven ship, you're going to be delighted about the next chapter!
> 
> Have a nice weekend, and be safe!
> 
> XOXO

**Clarke**

Clarke woke up before her bedmate. The sun was shining in on them from the small window in the room. It shone on Lexa, making her look even more angelic than before. The blonde woman lay on her side, her hand supporting her head as she watched the other woman sleep. It looked so peaceful, just lying there, like there were no problems in the world.

As Lexa wrinkled her nose, saying something inaudible in her sleep, Clarke felt warmth spreading through her. This beautiful woman beside her was the best thing that ever had happened to her. She placed a warm kiss on her cheek before cuddling closer.

After a while, her chest started to ache after, as she contemplated her life. Was she finally ready to move on for real? Her mother knew now, but why didn’t she let the brunette get to know about her past? Clarke, felt sad about the fact that she wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. She knew that communication was the key for a functional relationship and it was not a great idea to keep things hidden. A tear started to roll down her cheek.

 

**(Flashback to five years prior, dinner at Abby’s)**

 

Clarke’s mother, Abby, had invited her daughter on a dinner and Sophie to dinner. The three of them sat around the round dining table. They had been playing some games and had had some very pleasant conversations. The atmosphere in the room had been even lighter than Clarke had imagined.

As the brown haired, older woman eyed her daughter, she could feel her body tensing under her glare. Clarke tried to pretend like nothing and kept shuffling rice and meat into her mouth. She knew she had to say something soon, a light touch from her fiancée on her thigh almost gave her the courage needed. Sophie tried to have some small talk with Abby who suddenly noticed the ring on Sophie’s hand.

“Oh, what beautiful ring you’ve got there!” she said immediately wanting to examine it closer. “Yeah, I’ve got it from a beautiful girl, whom I love really much!” Sophie said, watching Clarke faithfully. “I love this rose gold ring, she knew what I liked.”

"What I’ve heard from Clarke about you and how I know you, this girl must be really something.” Abby nodded, still holding her hand, eyeing the ring. “Who proposed?”

“She did, the most romantic proposal I could ever imagine!” Sophie kept going.

Clarke could feel her palms getting all sweaty, her body burning in shame, because she couldn’t say anything. She had decided to tell her mother tonight, she had gone through everything she was supposed to say many times already. She loved the dark blonde woman. Her mother needed to know this, it would be so simple.

“How did she do it?” Abby wished to know.

“Well, she firstly made me breakfast in bed, giving me 10 red roses along with it. Candles lit in the bedroom. Afterwards we spent our morning lying in bed, playing videogames and talking about everything. For lunch, she took me to the best Italian restaurant, our favorite place. After that, we took a long afternoon stroll along the beach, before taking a Swedish fika, you know, coffee and sweets in the afternoon. Then she took me to an NFL game, the Shaikru were playing the Trikru. My favourite teams. We ate hot dogs, drank beer. Suddenly the arena fell silent, at the jumbotron it said, I love you my safe haven, my sunshine, will you do me the great honor to be my wife, Sophie. The cameras filmed us, I gasped and my woman got down on one knee, presenting me with this exquisite piece of jewelry. Of course I said yes!”

The blue-eyed woman felt a lump in her throat, she remembered that day clearly. She would never forget it, that day was perfect. How could she not say anything even now?

“It sounds wonderful!” Abby said. “Do I know her?”

“In fact you…”

“You haven’t met her yet mother, but I know you’ll love her.” Clarke interrupted, hurt in Sophie’s eyes, her whole body showed how hurt she was, a tear rolling down her face.

“Oh, and you have a ring too I see, it’s almost as if they are matching…” Abby responded, not even slightly surprised.

“Yeah, well, I got shopping with her fiancée and mine wanted me to buy my own.”

“Really?” Abby seemed saddened, Clarke did not know why.

“He is not the romantic, not as Sophie’s girl.”

“Is this the truth?” Abby asked Sophie, looking almost as hurt as the brawny girl.

“Um, it is…” the words got stuck inside the muscly woman’s throat.

“He is a well-respected lawyer, and lives not far away. He were busy today, but we can come over another time.” Clarke continued her lie.

“I’m sorry Abby, thank you for dinner, but I have to get home, we need to rehearse with my band, we’ve got a big tour soon.” Sophie excused herself and gave the older woman a big warm hug while glaring at Clarke. “I’ll wait in the car.”

“I hope you’ll be happy with your woman Sophie, you surely deserve it. God I wish that you were the person Clarke was engaged with. I know you, and I like you.”

“I like you too Abby,” a weak smile spreading across the woman’s face before walking out the door.

Clarke bit her lip, maybe she had made the most ginormous mistake in her life. Anyway, she said goodbye to her mother before joining Sophie in their car, an old Volvo.

“You ok?” she asked, the other woman just drove out the driveway as she turned on the radio, no answer.

Raubtier’s song – Levande död (Living dead) started playing on full volume, Clarke didn’t understand the lyrics at all. Or, she knew some words here and there.

 

**_Att tyst och stilla adaptera                                              (To be quiet and still to adapt)  
_ **

**_Fogligt böjd att passa in                                                 (Meekly bent to fit in)  
_ **

**_Det kan jag aldrig acceptera                                          (I could never accept that)  
_ **

**_Den vägen äro icke min                                                 (That path is not mine)  
_ **

**_Jag kom ej hit till världen för ett liv i evig tid                 (I did not come to this world for a life in eternity)  
_ **

**_Jag vet hur nederlaget väntar mig i brand och strid         (I know how defeat is awaiting me in fire and battle)  
_ **

**_Men på den sista dagen lider jag ej någon nöd                 (But in the last day I won't suffer any hardship)  
_ **

**_Ty hellre dör jag levande än lever som en levande död       (For I rather die alive than live as a living dead)_ **

 

”Don’t you want to…?” she got interrupted.

“No, please, I’ve got a headache.” Sophie turned on the music even louder.

 

**(Back to the present)**

 

Clarke gently let her fingers swipe over the brunette’s body. She was gorgeous, but she was still not sure about herself. Was she truly, really ready to let go of her past and let herself be happy again? As she pulled her head closer to Lexa's, letting her lips touch hers, she thought that yes. Now, she was ready, she deserved to be content. This time she was out, everyone knew, even her mother. She would do things right this time, but she would wait a bit longer for the time to tell Lexa about her previous engagement. That, she would do when the time was right.


	21. Behind these hazel eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven and Sophie does things together, being adorable as ever. 
> 
> Or
> 
> The chapter when Raven is extremely romantic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Raven and Sophie fluff, fluff and more fluff! Just thought you'd like this chapter now that it's Friday and all.
> 
> Love the feedback, please, feel free to contact me if it's anything you wonder or would like to discuss. All the help to make this work even better is very much appreciated, since I am only human being and can make mistakes.
> 
> Have a great weekend everybody and take care!
> 
> Oh, and yes, the chapter's name is the title of a Kelly Clarkson song, I love it too, I don't only listen to metal. ;)
> 
> XOXO

**Raven**

Waking up on the chest of her lover made Raven feel like a very lucky woman. She watched the woman of her dreams sleep. Snoring a bit and talking, which only made her smile. How happy wasn’t she, to have met her and finally told her what she felt? Their night had been passionate before they went to sleep, even though they were almost finished before they even started. It took them five minutes to come, both of them, so now Raven knew the meaning of the word quickie.

Raven gave the redhead a soft peck on her collarbone before rising as quiet as she could from the bed. Afterwards she put on a red, checkered shirt she found in Sophie’s drawers and her own panties. She hoped the others wouldn’t be awake yet, because she wished to show her woman how much she meant to her.

Sneaking down to the kitchen, Raven remembered everything Clarke had told her before, with what the beefy woman ate for breakfast. She started with the coffee, strong was the key here, because she didn’t like it the way Americans made it. Sophie just said it tasted like water with a hint of coffee. Raven chuckled at the thought. Then she proceeded to find some Soyghurt with the taste of vanilla, some raspberries to put in it and to cook two eggs.

After a while Lincoln and Octavia got down, smelling the coffee, holding hands.

“You’re making her breakfast?” Octavia asked, a wide smile across her face.

“Yeah, she still like it the way she did before?” Raven questioned, suddenly feeling insecure about it all.

“Sure, but she has found something else she loves too.” Lincoln beamed at the other two ladies. “Ladies, meet our juice-extractor!” He put a large kitchen cookware at the bench ahead of the more tanned girl. “She loves some freshly made orange juice.”

“Well, thanks!” Raven said, pleasantly surprised.

“What are we having love?” Lincoln asked his girlfriend, giving her a big bear hug.

“I would like some breakfast in bed…” Octavia teased.

“Ouch, Raven, don’t give my girl ideas, please!” He winked, before the lovers proceeded to make their own food.

“Oh, and we’re getting Cora in an hour, so please, keep it in your pants when you walk around then.” They both laughed at Raven who could feel her face burning.

“Sure…” She continued with her mission, found a tray and walked up the stairs.

As she opened the door, the redhead sat up, shining like the sun. Her side cut were everywhere and it looked adorable. Raven felt the warmth and delight spreading in her chest again, a feeling that seemed to be common around this woman. A feeling she would love to get used to. Sophie fixed her hair and relocated the cushions so that she could sit properly in bed. Raven put down the tray and started drinking her own coffee, it didn’t taste bad with stronger coffee, which made her surprised.

“Good morning sweetheart!” Sophie murmured, looking drunkenly at her woman.

“Good morning handsome!” Raven answered before giving the other woman a peck on her cheek, a blush appearing on her face.

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” Sophie looked to the breakfast and then the dark-haired woman in awe.

Raven felt like her heart would burst, this wonderful lady deserved only the best. How could she not realize how great she was? She looked into blue-green eyes, collecting herself before she spoke.

“You are you, the most fantastic, thoughtful, charming, nice and funny woman I’ve ever met. You deserve so much more than this.” Raven meant every word she uttered.

“Jeez, I don’t know what to say. You’re amazing Raven!” Sophie’s eyes teared. “God, I love you!”

“I love you too!” the tanned woman blushed.

 

After some intake of nutrients, they decided to get down into the living room. Maybe they could catch a movie or something. Unfortunately, Cora was already sitting in front of the television, watching a movie with Octavia and Lincoln on either side of her. Lincoln looking as proud as a father could and an Octavia who seemed more into the movie than the kid. Sophie and Raven laughed at the scene, they resembled, pretty much of an ad with the perfect family on it.

So the two females decided to take a walk in the sunshine instead, they didn’t know to where though. They were pretty content knowing they went there together. Holding each other’s hands, smiling at people who passed by. Not a single person would think that these women were just gals being pals. Their love was glowing.

“So, I need to ask you, would you like this whole, move together, getting engaged, marriage, kids, thing?” Raven inquired as they walked past some houses.

“Unquestionably, you?”

“I do, um, I mean, I would like to in the future,” a blush escaping the thinner woman.

“I mean, I have done this engagement thing before, as you know…”

“I know, I did too.”

“With Finn?”

“Yeah.”

“What a douche, I would like to kick the guy’s ass. You don’t treat a brilliant woman like that.”

“No, you don’t. But I am glad, if he hadn’t been a jerk, I would never have met you.” Her hazel eyes was gleaming and Raven felt all kinds of emotions showering over her.

Without a word, Sophie embraced her and placed a kiss on her lips. It was so sudden that Raven could feel her legs tremble underneath her. She had never before thought that, how writer’s described love could actually be true. Yet, here she was, literally falling more and more for the other girl.

 

They later went to a Starbucks close to where Sophie lived, ordering a coffee and sat down in front of each other in a booth. Holding one hand in the other’s while holding the cup with the second hand.

“So, about your engagement…” Raven started.

“What about it?”

“I followed Clarke to every place she went to look for rings and even followed her to book tables and shit,” her mouth started to feel dry.

“Holy shit! You did? Why?” Sophie’s eyes broadening with surprise.

“Because I wanted it to be perfect for you, even though it wasn’t with me.” She felt a lump in her throat at the memories, but she needed to say this.

The redhead needed to understand how much she had meant for her, always.

“You must be the least selfish person I’ve ever met.”

“So, I guess it would be you proposing now then?” Raven returned with a mischievous grin, how she could change her mood this fast was beyond her.

“No, I don’t think so, I like the idea to be proposed to. I mean, I’m always seen as the “guy” in the relationship. If the other girl is proposing, I guess, it makes me feel more of a woman.” She pondered for a minute before continuing. “This does probably not make any sense to you, but now, you know.”

“Well, I’m not sure how to top Clarke’s, but…I think I might come up with something. But that’s something for the future.” Raven beamed at her girlfriend.

“I look forward to the future, with you.” Sophie said, lifting her cup to her lips.

“I only want you, now and in the future.”

Raven said before leaning over the table to give her woman a real kiss with tongue and all. Her hands in the back of her babes head, she couldn’t care less about the people looking at them in surprise. All she cared about, was the woman she kissed, smiling through it all. This was what love felt like. She wanted to show her woman to the world, and this was a great start.


	22. Happy family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke comes over, it's finally time to tell Cora that Lexa and Clarke are together.
> 
> Or
> 
> The chapter when the three of them acts like a happy family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your love! It's really amazing that so many people like to read what I write. I love you all!
> 
> Since it's Monday and I had some spare time, I thought you might like another chapter! Let me know what you think, and enjoy!
> 
> XOXO

**Lexa**

Two months had now passed since Lexa met Clarke for the first time. These were the most amazing two months in Lexa's life. They had continued their dating and spent most of their time at Lexa’s place, but only when Cora was at Lincoln’s.

Lincoln and Octavia had just come clean, the night before to, Cora that they were together. Apparently the couple had made a nice dinner as Raven and Sophie had spent the night in Raven’s apartment.

“You know mama? Octavia had even bought me a present, a video with the ninja turtles! It’s awesome!” The little girl told her mother who stood in the kitchen, preparing dinner.

“That was nice of her!” Lexa said, trying to hide her own nervousness.

Tonight Clarke would come over for dinner, the first one when they would tell Cora about them. The little girl had almost only met Clarke during swim lessons. Lexa wanted to be sure that she was the one, before letting another woman into their lives and little family.

“I still don’t know why they told me yesterday. I mean, I have known for a long time. It’s not like I was born yesterday,” Cora eyed her mother. “You grown-ups are so weird.”

“Indeed we are,” Lexa responded while washing a cucumber. “Are you ready to help me with fixing some taco?”

“No, I have more important things to do, you told me to make the table.”

Cora left to grab a chair, so that she would reach for plates and glasses and what not. She even managed to find napkins and candles for the table.

“You’ll light them later right?” She asked the brunette as Cora made the dinner table look respectable and elegant, for being fixed by a four year old.

“Of course sweetheart.”

Lexa could feel her heart beating faster at the thought of telling her daughter about why Clarke would be coming over. She probably knew anyway.

“You know mama, I know you and Clarke are in love. I know she’s your girlfriend.” Cora uttered, almost like she could read her mother’s mind.

“Oh, how long have you known?” Relief washing over the brunette.

“Just the way you looked when you saw each other the first time.” Cora shrugged her tiny shoulders and happily jumped away to the stereo. “We’re going to need music…Besides, I hope she won’t bring me any princess stuff. I am a warrior princess, not a real one!”

“Why would she bring you princess stuff?” Lexa frowned at her daughters words.

“Because, she is a princess! D’uh!” The four year old rolled her eyes.

“I guess she is, but I’m the commander, so I can order her to bring something else for you.” Lexa said, finding herself quickly.

Small fingers turned on some music, was it 50’s theme on it? Lexa recognized the song The wanderer by Dion and the Belmonts. She smiled as she continued with the dinner, her daughter started to play with some dinosaurs and run around the living room. How much joy the girl had brought her, her chest filled with pride before her anxiety kicked in. What if it wouldn’t work out with Clarke and Cora?

“Everything will work out,” Lexa whispered to herself. “No worries…”

A couple of minutes later the doorbell rang and Cora shrieked in surprise. She jumped up and got the door, Lexa finished with the final touches as her pulse picked up. Standing in the door did indeed a princess stand. Clarke wore a light blue dress and a long braid in her hair. She looked stunning, and very much like Elsa in Frozen. A movie Cora insisted on watching again and again, even though she didn’t “like” princesses. Cora jumped into the arms of Clarke, giving her a big hug. A smile escaped Lexa’s lips, this scene would forever be etched inside her mind. Her little family getting along. She walked toward Clarke who gave the mini Costia a present before turning to her girlfriend. Probably expecting nothing but a hug, but Lexa thought that since Cora already knew, what the heck. Lexa planted a ginormous kiss on the blondes lips.

“Ew, you two should get a room!” Cora laughed before unwrapping her present. “Oh! Wow! Look mama!” she waved a copy of Lego Batman, the game, in front of them, delighted. “Thank you princess!” the little girl embraced Clarke’s leg before running into the living room with the game.

“Welcome, my princess!” Lexa said before turning her attention to her daughter. “No games before dinner.”

“But, mama!” Cora tried.

“No!” Lexa returned to Clarke. “Would you like some tacos?”

“I would like anything you say,” Clarke winked.

The blonde took the breath out of the taller woman. She now felt a bit underdressed in her black chinos and green buttoned shirt. Cora on the other hand was definitely dressed for the occasion with an orange dress she had picked herself and French braids which had taken Lexa half the afternoon fixing.

The three of them sat down by the table before Lexa remembered she had to light the candles. Clarke nodded approvingly at the decorations of the table. Cora had put a green plant in the middle of it all, she had actually a talent for decoration.

“Good job with the table Cora, it looks fabulous” Clarke complimented the kid.

“Thank you! I knew a princess would come, so it needed to suit one!” she beamed.

Lexa felt the love spreading everywhere around her, she couldn’t describe how much this meant to her. Having the two people she loved the most there was the best thing that could ever happen to her. For the first time in many years, she felt complete again. No worries at all.


	23. Still believe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Cora has invited Clarke for dinner and they have a nice evening, playing games and stuff.
> 
> Or 
> 
> The chapter when they finally say the three biggest words you could say to someone special

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had a rough day, but some writing made it better. So, here's another chapter!
> 
> Thank you guys for the love, please keep letting me know what you think! Enjoy!
> 
> Btw, the next chapter will be a longer one with mixed Raven/Sophie POV and you'll get to know my OC even better. I hope you'll be prepared!
> 
> XOXO

**Clarke**

Clarke felt like she had won the jackpot in the lottery of love. Sitting there by Lexa’s side, talking, eating and seeing Cora laugh is heartwarming. The brunette had made her girlfriend a great dinner and she did appreciate it much. Cora seemed content enough too.

“So, who choose the dish?” Clarke asked while preparing another tortilla.

“Me!” Cora said delightedly. “I love tacos!”

“I asked if you’d like it and you said yes,” Lexa corrected her laughing.

“Oh, that’s more right,” Cora poured more soda in her own glass and saw that Clarke had nothing in hers. “Do you want more?”

“Yes please!” The blonde nodded to the child who filled her glass too.

Clarke saw so much of Lexa in her, the caring girl who almost seemed to know what everyone else needed all the time. Her laugh was almost identical and their twitch of the jaw when something scary or uncomfortable was discussed. Also, they both were polite as few people the blonde had met before.

“Thank you Cora!” Clarke raised her glass. “It was very kind of you!”

“No problem!” The child beamed at her.

“Do you want to choose a movie later?” Lexa asked her child as we all felt too full to take one more bite.

“No! I want to play Monopoly!” Cora stated.

“But it’s so boring,” Lexa rolled her eyes.

“No!” Cora pouted at her mother. “You just think it’s boring because you always loose and you’re the worst loser. Mother always said that, didn’t she.”

Lexa looked as though she’d been hit by lightning. Her eyes went blank and you could really see the hurt in the rest of her body. She was probably not prepared for this. The brunette sighed and tried to shake it off of her. Cora, who seemed to be good at detecting signs of all kinds jumped of the chair and hugged her.

“I’m sorry mama, I shouldn’t have…”

“It’s okay, you have the right to know about her,” Lexa forced herself to a weak grin.

“I love you.”

“And I love you honey bun, so, are we playing Monopoly or not?” Lexa teased while a delighted Cora ran to grab the game.

“You okay?” Clarke asked while putting away the dishes so they could sit by the dinner table.

“No, not really,” Lexa said, still sitting by the table, her face in her hands.

The blonde went to embrace her and put a light peck on her scalp. It made the brunette less tense, maybe she even relaxed a bit. That’s the first time that Clarke realized the two of them had not said the three wonderful words to each other. I love you, those words had not yet been uttered between Lexa and Clarke. Why? Why had she not had the courage to say that? Why was she so shy? They had done other things together, why had none of them not said anything like that yet?

Clarke was in love with Lexa, she was certain of this. Lexa returned those feelings, so why had they not yet uttered these words? She was such a great mother, Cora was well taken care of. It’s almost like Clarke’s uterus ache to give Lexa another child. She wanted to be the mother of a child in the future, she wanted a big house, a big wedding, everything. She wanted everything with Lexa. Even though she had had those plans with someone else in the past, she still thought that this time, this time it would happen.

Cora returned with the game. The three of them played for three hours before they grew tired of the game and went to watch Disney’s Frozen. Lexa sat in the middle, having one arm around her girlfriend and the other round her daughter. Cora had occupied the bowl of popcorn and seemed to enjoy this moment, just as the older women seemed to do.

After the movie Cora got to bed and the two grown-ups just sat in the couch and listened to some music while embracing each other. This moment, it’s perfect. Clarke thought as she looked deep into moss green eyes.

“I love you Lexa, and I’m glad you invited me today,” Clarke mumbled, feeling her own chest tighten at the words, they were big words.

“I love you too Clarke. I’m glad you came.”

They kissed, a soft kiss with an even softer embrace. After that, Lexa eyed her own knees, trying to find the words.

“There is something you need to know. There was a reason I was scared of water,” her shoulders were now slouching and her head hanging. “Three years ago, me and Costia were supposed to celebrate our wedding anniversary. Indra was babysitting.”

Clarke said nothing but gave a small nod, just to make sure Lexa knew she listened.

“We used to have a small sailing boat, it was after her father and we had checked weather reports and everything to be sure we could be safe.”

Clarke was still quiet, but squeezed her girlfriend’s hand gently, just to comfort her.

“So, we headed out from the harbor, we had checked the boat to be in okay condition too. As we got out of the bay, the weather changed abruptly. There was a storm coming in. The wind was extreme and it rained loads and loads. We tried to keep afloat but the boat crashed into a rock and started to sink. We did too, she hit her head, but I tried to save her. I swam with her to land, but it was too late…” Tears were gleaming onto Lexa’s cheeks by now. “It was too late…”

“You did everything you could,” Clarke comforted her. “It’s not your fault.”

“It took me some time to think like that. I know now that it’s not my fault, but I got really depressed. That is one of the reasons I don’t have many friends left from before or anything. I cut people out. Everyone reminded me of her.” Lexa sniffed onto the blondes shoulder.

“It’s okay, you are allowed to move on,” Clarke circled Lexa’s back with her thumbs, hoping it would help.

“I feel so guilty, it’s only been three years. We said ‘til death do us apart.”

“I’m sure she would wish for you to be happy.”

“Maybe you’re right.”

Lexa pondered for a moment, sat back up and looked into her girlfriend’s eyes.

“I’m so sorry to hear what happened to her,” Clarke said, realizing that was something she should’ve said sooner.

“What about you? You never told me about previous relationships?”

Clarke froze, how could she tell her about the time with Sophie? Being friends with an ex was bound to create drama. Should she mention something or nothing? Lying was no good, but skipping these types of questions would not be lies.

“Hm…I’ve had relationships. None really serious,” damn Clarke, why’d you lie?

“Seriously? I thought you’ve at least had one serious relationship.”

“No, I guess I haven’t found the right one before you.”

She kissed Lexa again. Knowing this was one of her worst ideas. Fuck it Clarke, don’t screw this up! She sighed again while thinking about how much damage a small lie could do. Probably, not much. It could be devastating too and that would be more likely.

 


	24. Just a beautiful day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven and Sophie gets some action going while alone in the house
> 
> Or
> 
> The two women has some fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank you all for your love and feedback, please, keep letting me know what you think!
> 
> I'm not sure about how much I'll be able to update the coming week, I've got an exam. Therefore I'm giving you a long and nasty one right now. I hope you'll enjoy it!
> 
> TW: Consensual role-play, consensual sex, strap-on, smut, fluff.
> 
> XOXO

**Raven**

Waking up next to her dream girl made her chest swell of pride. Raven wondered how she could be so lucky? Finally finding the love of her life, finally being able to be with the one she had wanted for so long. She spooned Sophie, thinking about how perfect it was for them to lay on the right side, making the other woman’s side-cut be side up. Something Raven had loved from the start, since she didn’t get all the red hair in her face.

The tanned woman felt the love for the muscular girl making her tremble, when she gently let her fingers run along the other woman’s sides, before placing soft kisses in her neck. Making said girl yawn and turn to face her.

“Good morning babe!” Raven smiled at her woman.

“Good morning love!” Sophie wrinkled her nose. “I didn’t think you were the babe person here?”

“Yes I am. At least, now!”

“Okay.” Sophie swept the other woman into a loving embrace, kissing her on her lips. “Jag älskar dig.”

“What?” Raven looked confusedly at her partner.

“Oh, right…it means I love you in Swedish.”

“Oh, please, talk Swedish to me!”

Raven wanted to know everything about her love. It was one of the few things she knew in life. Being from the Nordic countries played a huge part in Sophie's life and Raven loved to know more about it, be able to speak their languages. She knew it would take some time, but she would do it. Anything for Sophie.

“Uh, not sure what to say.”

“What about, you’ve got the greatest tits I’ve ever seen?” Raven said while squeezing Sophie’s boobs playfully.

“You’re the romantic one aren’t you?” Sophie teased. “Okay. Du har de snyggaste tuttarna jag någonsin har sett.”

”Du haer do snygge…I can’t, I think I might need some Swedish lessons.” Raven kissed her girlfriend again.

“You’re so cute, I don’t even know how I could get so lucky,” The redhead smiled. “You know, I’m also Finnish and Danish?”

“Guess you’ve said that sometime. How do you say I love you in those languages?”

“Minä rakastan sinua is Finish. Jeg elsker dig is Danish.”

The dark-haired woman was now totally perplexed. When the other woman talked Finish she sounded quite weird and when she spoke in Danish it sounded as if she still had food in her mouth.

“How the hell am I supposed to learn to talk like that?” she sighed. “I guess I’ll start with Swedish. It seems hard enough.”

“You don’t have to learn.”

“I know, but I want to babe.”

 

**Sophie**

After breakfast and the inevitable tooth brushing, both women sat down in front of the television. Thinking that something exiting has to be on it.

Suddenly the more tanned woman started to shift into some sort of crimson red.

“Why are you blushing babe?” Sophie asked.

“Oh, no, you shouldn’t babe me.”

“What?”

“It sounds weird.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re more of the love and darling type, not babe.”

Confusion evident in the heavily tattooed lady’s face.

“Still, why are you blushing, doll?”

“Because I just thought of something I want to do with you, but I’m not sure how long we will be alone at home.”

“Is it that nasty?” a smile spreading across the brawny girls face.

She could feel heat well up inside of her at the thought of the two of them, together, doing nasty things.

“Lincoln, Octavia and Cora will be away for several hours still. I don’t think you’d have to think about that. What do you want to do?”

“You. Remember the first time we met?” Raven bit her lower lip.

“I remember it clearly. Why?”

“I have always wanted you in that outfit. It’s kind of, my dream.” She said shyly.

“Oh, I think I could go change. Anything else you have in mind?” the redhead winked at her lady.

“Maybe try that strap-on you bought the other day?” the dark-haired asked seductively.

“I wouldn’t mind,” now the redhead started to blush.

“Maybe, in the kitchen? And make a roleplay out of it? You, the carpenter, coming home to the lonely wife to help her with something that has broken down?”

“You know that would be out of character for us? You are the mechanic here…”

“I know, but it’s a dream of mine.”

“I’d do anything for you. I’m going to go and change.” Sophie hurried up the stairs to her room. “A safeword?”

“Um, banana?”

Sophie started to chuckle as she heard Raven get into the bedroom too. She changed clothes too. God, she looked amazing! Sophie had trouble with containing herself, but she wanted her woman to fulfill her dreams, so she tried hard not to look at her. They gave each other a quick kiss before Sophie grabbed a box of tools from the garage and got outside the house. If they should role play, they should go all in with it. She now wore a pair of grey cargo trousers, a black baggy T-shirt and a pride colored sports bra with matching underwear. Her hair in a ponytail and a bag with tools in her hand. What was she even doing?

She knocked on the door and almost lost her breath as the world’s most gorgeous woman opened it. Raven’s long, dark and curly hair was let out. She wore an olive colored silk robe and a golden heart necklace Sophie had bought her some days ago. On her finger she had found a golden ring, just to pretend that she was married Sophie guessed.

“Hey miss, I’ve heard you needed help with an oven which have broken down?” Sophie’s words almost got stuck in her throat, she knew that she would never get used to this beauty.

“It’s Mrs. Ringbom if I may.”

Sophie’s throat got really dry at that. Did Raven just refer to herself as Sophie’s wife? A special kind of warmth was appearing inside of her by now, all she wanted was to kiss her, tell her this was all she ever wanted. That she would love to be her wife and live a safe and happy life with her, that she would never have to worry about anything. Realizing the other woman’s dream was to role play, made her snap out of her thoughts though.

“So, were’s your partner?”

“My wife left me home all alone, I don’t know how to fix this.”

“Can I come in?”

 

**Raven**

Raven let the other woman inside, showed her to the kitchen. She smiled at herself as the redhead put down the box of tools and bent down next to the oven. Damn, she looked hot as hell in her outfit. She had troubles with not doing anything with her. The dark-haired woman felt excitement from all of this, maybe mostly because she’d just referred to herself as the wife of Sophie. Ringbom didn’t sound so bad, but Reyes was better, maybe they could keep both names? She tried hard to shake those feelings aside, now, she wanted to fuck. Apparently it got hotter inside, because Sophie started to remove her shirt, showing of her gorgeous muscles and her sports bra. Raven had to swallow hard and almost bit her tongue so she wouldn’t do anything yet. The heat between the both women were now more obvious than ever. The redhead took a water bottle from the counter to drink and then pour over her bare back and her toned stomach. Shit, she was sexy! Raven gripped the kitchen counter as hard she could as she gasped at the sight. Sophie was smiling at her, not only with her mouth, but also her eyes.

“Do you need help with anything else here?”

“Maybe,” Raven hit something that fell on the floor, so she bent over and picked it up, it was a fork.

She could hear the other woman’s breathing sound more and more. As she turned to her, she was being eyed thoroughly. Raven let her robe slid down onto the floor. Revealing her laced underwear.

“I feel a bit lonely, you think you can do something about that too?” she smirked at her girlfriend.

“A wonderful woman like you should never have to feel lonely.”

Without further ado, Sophie closed the distance between them. Raven could feel her body trembling out of anticipation and how it started to ache with the want for this lady. They started to kiss, eagerly, passionately. Their tongues were dancing, and Raven let her hands gently touch the other woman’s boobs, stomach and then she let one of her hands slid down inside her pants. She felt something hard, firstly she was confused, but then she smiled. Sophie let her own hands cup the dark-haired woman’s behind as they both moaned.

“Oh, honey, are you hard for me?” Raven mouthed.

“Yes, and I want to fuck you so badly!” Sophie moaned.

“Drop your pants!”

Both women’s pulses started pumping faster as the cargo pants fell to the floor. As did Raven…

 

**Sophie**

Fuck! Raven was down on her knees in front of her, all she could do was watch her, let her fingers through the other woman’s hair. The dark-haired woman let her tongue slid across the strap, kissing it and after a while she took it entirely in her mouth. Letting it in, out, in, out. Sophie rocked her hips as Raven decided the tempo, her hands on the other woman’s butt. The redhead got so turned on by this, she thought she would come pretty soon, especially since Raven took it all in her throat.

“Fuck me Raven!” Sophie groaned as the other woman’s hazel eyes looked darkly at her. She let go of the rubber thing and stood up.

“That is what I want you to do now.” She said huskily.

Without a word, Sophie kissed the other woman, while lifting her up on the kitchen counter, removing her panties. Raven spread her legs, letting go of everything. Sophie kept kissing her, at the same time she slid her fingers down to lower regions, feeling the wetness of her girlfriend. It was like an entire ocean down there. She smiled at herself as she felt the heat gushing inside of her. Putting three fingers inside, Raven moaned while arching her back.

“I want you inside of me, now!” she breathed.

Sophie let the strap-on slide in, just a little bit, she wanted to be gentle with her woman. Raven just screamed and pulled her closer, making damn sure she didn’t want gentle. So the redhead thrusted in and out, when she pulled out she almost let the whole thing out of her girlfriend before she shoved the entire thing inside again. Making her scream of pleasure. It was the fucking sexiest thing Sophie had ever done, she thought as she started harder, faster, while kissing the other woman’s neck, nibbling at her earlobes, giving her hickies…Raven kept screaming louder and louder. Her nails digging into the back of the muscly girl fucking her. After a while Raven dug in her nails extremely hard, screaming like never before and sagging down onto the counter. Her orgasm left her pretty exhausted. Sophie just smiled at her, kissing her, removing the strap-on from the tired woman.

“Fuck me!” Raven whispered.

“I just did,” Sophie smirked.

“You up for more?” Raven blinked at her girlfriend.

“Sure!”

 

**Raven**

The exhaustion left her pretty quickly, so the tanned woman threw the rubber thing on the floor next to the pants before removing the other woman’s panties. Having a steaming make-out session, while pushing her out to the kitchen table. As Sophie bumped into it, she jumped up, spreading her legs for Raven who dived down. Letting her tongue circle around Sophie’s lips, her clit, while her fingers got to be inside of her. She thrusted while hearing the other woman groan. Her own heat and heartbeat increasing with every push. Her woman tasted so fucking good, she couldn’t believe how much she wanted to lick her. Sophie was extremely wet too, which made Raven even more eager to give her anything she wanted. She let her tongue slide inside, getting to taste her woman as much as she possibly could. Her fingers were circling around the clit and Sophie’s hands were tousling Raven's hair. After a while she could feel how the hands changed to grip her hair, the breath getting heavier and finally a scream as her walls caved in. Raven felt complete and utter joy at the sight of her girlfriend before her. That had to be the best sex she’s ever had, Raven thought. She had never felt this good before. Sophie got down from the table, kissed her girlfriend and they both got dressed before hearing a car drive up the driveway.

“Shit! They’re home!” Sophie said, panicking.

“Yep, I need to change,” Raven beamed, giving the other woman a peck on her cheek. “Thank you, you were wonderful!”

“You are always wonderful!” Sophie melted at her girlfriend's words.

Raven brought the strap-on upstairs and put it in a box in Sophie’s room before putting on some casual clothing. She smiled at herself, they both needed that. A warmth was still spreading inside her, how come could she still love her, after all this time? She had wanted Sophie for so long, now she had her, she wanted her more and more for every day. As she walked down to the kitchen again, she saw that Sophie’s shirt was wet, probably from the sweat from their earlier activities. Also some kitchen items had apparently fallen down without them noticing, because Sophie was kneeling and picking said items up.

The three newcomers looked at Raven.

“Jeez, I thought old people got up early on weekends.” Cora said eyeing the tanned woman. “How come you just woke up?”

“Um, I have been up a long time…” Raven blushed.

“Without brushing your hair? My mama would never let me run around without brushing mine,” Cora sighed. “You old people are so weird,” before she ran outside to kick some ball with herself.

“Ew, guys, please sanitize,” Lincoln and Octavia said in a choir before laughing.

“We will,” Raven blushed even more.

Linctavia kissed before they kept laughing at their two best friends. Raven felt so happy for the two, they were really the perfect couple. One of few different sex couples who actually made each other happy. She beamed at her own girlfriend who had just finished sanitizing and fixing after their previous actions.

“A penny for your thoughts,” Sophie gave the taller woman a peck on her cheek.

“I just think that life is perfect, you are perfect,” Raven answered before embracing her woman. “Jag älskar dig.”


	25. Because of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa wakes up next to Cora
> 
> Or
> 
> The chapter when Lexa remembers why she became a mother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> Firstly, I'd like to apologize for the late update. I have been busy with an exam, training camp with my football team (where I sprained my thumb xD), referee test, playing League of legends, whereas I've got my inspiration to write another work and loads of other stuff. 
> 
> Secondly, I hope you'll like this chapter. I had plans for it, but when I started to write, it took a totally different turn than when I planned it.
> 
> Thirdly, I'd like to thank you all for the kudos and comments. It means really much that you let me know what you think about the chapters, so please, keep it up! Have a great weekend!
> 
> XOXO

**Lexa**

The commander woke up early in the morning. Not because of her girlfriend, but her daughter, who had sneaked inside her bedroom and placed herself in the middle of Lexa and Clarke. The brunette thanked the Lord that she and Clarke had put some clothes on before they fell asleep. What if Cora had gotten inside there, when the two women had been naked? Lexa shivered at the thought. That was something she didn’t want her daughter to experience. Not now at least.

The brunette just laid there, watching the little girls’ locks and her sleepy face. Later, watching the blondes’ locks and her equally peaceful expression. How could she be this lucky? Having a wonderful daughter and a girlfriend that truly loved each other as well as they loved Lexa? She sighed before embracing the little body next to her, feeling Cora’s warmth against her and finally not wishing that Costia was there. Now, she was happy that her daughter and Clarke were there. For the first time in her life, she knew she could move on. That was probably her deceased wife’s wish. She wouldn’t wish for Lexa to mourn for the rest of her life. She could hear her voice clearly inside her head:

“We only have one life Lexa, we’ve got to make the most of it!” or “God, I just wish to make you happy, you deserve that my beautiful Lex.” They were sentences Costia used to say to the taller woman.

After a couple of minutes, Clarke woke up, looking bewildered. Lexa reached out a hand to gently caress her chin, making the blonde relax again. The brunette longed to kiss the blonde, but there was a tiny creature in the way, whereas Lexa kissed the little girl’s forehead instead. Making the little girl wake up and beam at her mother. Clarke lay on her side, eyeing the little family by her side.

“Oh mama! I had the best dream ever! I swam all by myself and got to be in the better swim group!” She squeaked excitedly.

“If we’d train more, I’m sure you will upgraded the next term.” Lexa said before kissing Cora’s little button nose.

“Yeah, you’re a great swimmer Cora, and I’m not saying that because I date your mother,” Clarke honestly said, earning her a small hug from the tiny girl beside her.

“I know, really, I am the best!” Cora squealed before jumping out of bed and hurried out of the room in her tiny pajama, with Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles on it.

“Go watch some series or something, me and Clarke needs to have a discussion,” Lexa winked at her girlfriend.

“Ew, gross! When daddy says that he and Octavia needs to discuss something, they lock themselves inside his bedroom. It’s gross!”

Lexa made a mental note to use that against Lincoln if she ever needed to. Before she got up, locked the door and looked at Clarke. The blonde did not seem happy about the action, Lexa smirked and got back to bed. Kissing Clarke, touching her breasts. It just resulted in Clarke shoving her hands away, hissing at her girlfriend.

“What do you think you’re doing? Your daughter is just outside?” Clarke whispered angrily, how someone could whisper angrily was a question in itself though.

“She won’t hear us, we’ll be quiet,” Lexa tried to kiss Clarke again but got rejected.

“A, since when could any of us be even remotely silent when we’ve had sex and B, she would know what we’re doing. I vote for breakfast.” Clarke left the bed hastily, brushing through her hair and fixing her large T-shirt so that it sat more comfortably on her body.

Lexa just sighed, she never realized how problematic a love-life would be while being a mother. A hand gently swiped her jawline and a pair of blue eyes locked into hers.

“Hey! I’m not mad at you, I just…don’t feel it right now ok? Let’s have sex while she’s asleep in her room or better yet, at Lincoln’s?” Clarke pressed her lips against Lexa’s, releasing some confusion from the other lady.

“I get it, never thought it would be this tricky, having a life you know?” Lexa heaved herself up from the bed and changed into some casual clothes instead of her pajama. “No one warned me about these downsides of parenthood I guess.”

“Really? You would rather be able to have sex whenever you want than have your kid?” Clarke raised her eyebrows and seemed concerned about her girlfriend’s thoughts.

“No! Definitely not, just that I wasn’t really ready when Costia…”

Lexa sighed before tears started to stream down her face. The memory of her former wife still hurt her. She didn’t think it would ever be easier.

 

**(Flashback 5 years)**

 

“Honey!” Costia came running inside the large house the married couple owned and flung herself around her wife’s neck. “I’ve got great news!”

“What?”

Lexa felt perplexed by her wife’s joy, she had left their home earlier in the morning and been extremely sad, they had been looking for a donor for some time and not found anyone. Or, at least not someone who actually had some brains, heart and good looks. Costia was all about getting pregnant, she wanted a child with Lexa more than anything in her life. Lexa knew and respected that, but she, she was content with just the two of them being together. They had fought over it, Lexa didn’t think she could be the mother the child needed since she was a police-officer. She risked her life on daily basis. Costia was obsessed, probably because her parents really wanted a grand-child, they nagged the couple every time they met and it bothered Lexa. She wished that the pair could choose for themselves.

“I’ve found a donor!” Costia started to jump around in joy.

“Who? How?”

The couple didn’t know anybody, not a man anyway, who could be up for it. The only people they knew were girls, hard for any of them to donate sperm, Lexa coughed to herself.

“A man I just met at your work, he seemed pretty nice.”

“An officer or a criminal?”

“Be nice! He is an officer, Lincoln is his name and he is absolutely gorgeous!”

Lexa couldn’t help but feel jealous, she knew Costia was pansexual, and she was married to Lexa, but still, it always felt like they weren’t meant to be. In a weird way, Lexa was scared that she would be divorced by the woman. Maybe because she liked the man. Maybe, but Lexa wasn’t a big fan of what if’s, so she went with it. How bad could it be?

“How did you? I mean, talk to him about it?”

“Well, I went to him and asked if he knew my wife, he said yes. Then I recognized him as one of the members of The pounder Grounders and told him I was a big fan before asking a favor. He said, it wasn’t the strangest request a fan had asked of him.”

“Really? You just…”

“He said yes because he had heard about how difficult things were for same sex couples, apparently he had friends who were in same sex relationships and a couple of them were going to get married and have kids, but things changed.”

“Did he ask the usual question?”

“You mean, they are gay too! Do you know them?” Costia smirked at her wife.

“That one!”

“No, he had only heard we knew Anya who you work with and we are friends with. We apparently doesn’t have the same friends.”

“Good, then he might have a brain! Let’s keep him!”

Lexa knew, from the bottom of her heart that she wasn’t ready, but she would walk through the iciest mountains for Costia. She would do anything for her wife.

 

**(Back to the present)**

 

“Actually, it was my wife who was obsessed with the whole getting pregnant thing. I wasn’t ready. I’m glad though, Cora is the next best thing ever happening to me.” Lexa stated while embracing the blonde.

“What’s the best thing?” Clarke didn’t seem to believe the brunette.

“You.”


	26. Her eyes hold the apocalypse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke, Lexa and Cora goes to the supermarket where Clarke meets some old friends and later they go to the bathhouse
> 
> Or
> 
> The chapter when you'd think Clarke ought to tell Lexa about her past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got another chapter up guys! Hooray! I still love your feedback, it's awesome! Feel free to ask me questions as well, either here or on tumblr. 
> 
> Got inspiration from Revy39 and hence parts of this chapter happened! Oh, well, hope you'll like it.
> 
> XOXO

**Clarke**

Getting out of bed felt easier than normal, Clarke had gotten a great idea that she wanted to try. Since it was Lexa’s only free Saturday for some time Clarke wanted to take her and her daughter on a funny adventure. The little girl wanted to swim and the bathhouse was bound to be open in this hour.

Lexa seemed concerned by the perkiness in which Clarke walked around, making breakfast to three of them. The blonde left her lover in the bedroom and asked Cora to help her make the table. A small shriek was heard from the girl who seemed overjoyed at being able to help. Clarke later called the girl to get closer to her, squatting down next to her, whispering in her ear:

“Do you want to go swimming today?” the small girl nodded eagerly. “Go ask your mama if she’d like to do that too.”

Within a minute the girl hurried back after asking her mother, that was quick, Clarke almost didn’t notice the girl had ran away as she continued making pancakes.

“She says yes!”

 

They ate together, the small family, Clarke couldn’t help but feel like she was actually a part of a family. Even though she had one of her own, now she came to think of it, she actually missed her mother. She felt like she needed advice from the wise woman.

Cora was so excited about their upcoming trip that she couldn’t keep her mouth shut, though her mother reminded her to eat, or else she wouldn’t have the energy to swim later. The blonde only laughed at the interaction between them while squeezing the brunette’s hand now and then to show that she was hers.

“We’d need something to eat for lunch if we’ll go away after breakfast,” Lexa said while they put the dishes away and Cora got packing.

“Let’s go buy something nice, there’s a great supermarket near the bathhouse.”

“We’ll need to pack first. Oh, and thank you,” Lexa embraced her woman and breathed in her perfume.

“For what?” Clarke frowned.

“For suggesting this, Cora loves swimming. I am really terrible at doing things with her. I’m glad you suggested we’d do this.”

“Thank me later!” Clarke winked.

 

After packing, a short trip to Clarke’s so she could get a bikini and other things, they were at the supermarket. It felt pretty normal to walk around there with her girlfriend and said person’s daughter. They were really invested in finding something remotely edible and they settled for big, premade, sandwiches. The blonde was feeling happy and at ease with everything, not remembering if she had been this content for some time.

They played a song Clarke remembered Sophie used to listen to on the radio in the store, Her eyes hold the apocalypse by Eyes set to kill.

 

**_Any minute this could blow, I lit the fuse too late_**  
**_Any moment we could all go down and sail in flames_**  
**_Are we sinking, are we under?_**  
**_The silence right before the storm_**  
**_Take a breath and take your cover_**  
**_She's coming back for more_**  
  
**_I'll say what I said before_**  
**_Did it all fall in place just the way you planned?_**  
**_Or did it all go to waste after I recovered?_**  
**_Chasing the final storm, chasing the final storm_**  
**_Placing the final score_**

 

Somehow Clarke thought the song suited the moment and she started to sing along, making Lexa look perplexedly at her.

That was before she squealed, she saw a couple who she remembered from her past. A tall, blonde woman and a shorter person with thick, red hair in delicate braids. They stood in que but turned around to see were the sound came from, their smiles widened at the sight of Clarke. They abandoned the que and run to embrace their long lost friend. Exchanging some, how are you’s and it’s been ages and all those necessities. A small girl joined in looking shyly at the group. Nagging at the redhead’s sleeve.

“Who’s that?” the girl asked and pointed at Clarke.

“She’s a friend of our’s from college, we haven’t seen her for several years! How’s everything Clarke?” they answered.

“Everything is great!” She still held Lexa’s hand and the other two people beamed at her.

“I was going to ask something, but that would be rude,” the tall blonde woman said before offering a hand to Lexa. “I’m Harper, an old friend to your girlfriend.”

“And I’m Monroe,” the redhead offered theirs to the brunette as well. “This, is our little treasure.” They smiled at the shy kid with golden locks. ”This is Jessica.”

The little girl clung to her parents and Clarke squatted down to be on the same level before stretching her hand out. Jessica didn’t return it, she just looked skeptically at it.

“I’m Lexa, Clarke’s significant other, and this is…”

“Oh, she is yours?” Harper looked between the two, implying she was both of theirs kid, for a moment Clarke actually wished that it was the case.

“My daughter, Cora.”

Lexa’s words felt like a stab in the back at Clarke. She knew that Cora wasn’t her kid, but still, the way Lexa uttered it, she really emphasized the word my. Like she didn’t want anyone to think Clarke was related to her. The other couple only blinked, smiled and pretended they didn’t notice the shifting in the air around them. Going from friendly to extremely hostile, Lexa didn’t seem to like this interaction at all.

“Nice to meet you, Cora!” Monroe beamed at the girl before Cora returned it.

“Can I go play with Jessica?” Cora asked smiling at Monroe.

The two little girls didn’t listen to their parents, they only disappeared to the magazine stand and started talking eagerly about everything. The four grown-ups seemed like they didn’t know at first what they were supposed to do. That was before Clarke noticed the rings on her friends’ fingers.

“Oh my God!” she took Harpers hand in hers, looking at her golden jewelry with a giant diamond on it. “It’s beautiful!”

“The world’s most beautiful woman needs the most beautiful ring, don’t you think?” Monroe looked fondly at their partner who returned their gaze.

“Are you?”

“No, were going to get married. We just wanted to settle down here again before the big event,” Harper answered. “By the way, we need to get the old gang together! It would be awesome to get together like before!”

“Oh no, no more spin the bottle and have you ever’s, we’re not in college anymore, or you guys aren’t.”

“But it’s so fun!” Monroe smiled, apparently at a memory.

”Only because you guys always cheated so you got to kiss each other.”

“No, we didn’t get to kiss each other all the time…It’s not like you guy and your significant other didn’t do things…”

If looks could kill, Monroe would be dead by now. Clarke hoped that Lexa didn’t hear it, but the brunette had definitely frozen. Shit, this was bad. Monroe and Harper got their daughter with them and bid their farewells. Lexa didn’t move until Cora hugged her leg.

“Come now mama! I want to swim.”

“Care to explain?” Lexa icily let out at her girlfriend.

“I’m saving it until the two of us will be alone again.”

“It’s not before next weekend, we’ll meet again…”

“I’m sorry, I should have told you earlier. Can we please make the best of this day, for Cora?”

“Sure…”

Clarke hugged and kissed Lexa, which made the taller woman melt a bit.

 

As they arrived at the bathhouse, Lexa seemed to have loosened up a even more. Which made Clarke pretty sure she could forget the awkwardness surrounding them earlier. Walking out of the dressing room, hand in hand with her partner felt like the most natural thing to do. Cora raced down the stairs and out to the more shallow pool, grabbing some big crocodile to float on. Lexa tensed and yelled to her not to run, which only made Cora laugh. Clarke put down their bag of food by a table, not many people where there so she thought they could occupy one table.

Lexa joined her daughter in the pool and the shorter woman felt pretty content sitting there and watching them a couple of minutes. They were splashing water on each other and playing around. Clarke realized that this was the first time she actually saw the brunette let go of her “I need to be badass and only do grown-up things” she was doing. She loved Lexa like this, relaxed, playful and caring. The artist in her wanted to draw them, and she brought forth a small notebook and a pencil. She made a rough sketch of Lexa holding Cora in the air like an airplane, before the two of them called her to get into the water. Clarke smiled for herself before she put away her stuff and walked to the others. A warmth was spreading inside of her, thinking that maybe, one day, she would be considered family with these two. The three of them played catch and swam together, splashed water and what not in the pool. Before they got up to eat their sandwiches and to drink some soda. They seemed like the perfect little family and Clarke felt it inside of her as she kissed Lexa. This, this was how she wanted to spend the rest of her life. Together, with Cora, doing things, talking, laughing. For a moment she actually forgot there were things she needed to talk with Lexa about, now, it was only happiness in her body and mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter you'll get to know more about Sophie's past. Therefore you'll need loads of tissues, sorry, it won't be happy...There will be some comfort though :)


	27. The anomaly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sophie acts weird and scares the crap out of Raven
> 
> Or
> 
> The chapter when Sophie shares her past with her partner and tells her the reason of why she's weird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is full of pain and it's a really unhappy coming out story. I realize that not everyone has an easy time with it, I didn't have the funniest myself, but things turned out great in the end. I hope that everyone is well and know's that you are all valid, no matter sexual orientation, sex or anything else. No one should tell you otherwise, especially not your parents, they should love you unconditionally!
> 
> I hope you'll like it, the coming chapter's will be more easygoing than this one though. Please, let me know what you think! Love your feedback! :)
> 
> Take care out there and be yourselves! <3
> 
> TW: Painful past, painful coming out story, angst, comfort.
> 
> XOXO

**Raven**

Waking up by the side of Sophie always made Raven feel like a happy camper. Today was different though, Sophie didn’t wake up as well, with her beaming smile and many kisses. Her eyes just opened up in horror before she curled up into a ball and lay on her side, facing away from the dark-haired woman. Raven tried to kiss her neck, touch her, asked her what was wrong, but her girlfriend seemed apathetic. Nothing appeared to work and Raven felt her abdomen clench in a weird way.

Therefore, the tanned lady arose from bed, put on a bathrobe and shuffled away to the room of Lincoln and Octavia. Her thoughts were spinning, what had happened to Sophie? Why did she act like that? What could Lincoln possibly help her with? Raven knocked on the door, feeling tears streaming down her face. She was scared, because she didn’t know what had happened and she didn’t know how to fix it. She heard Octavia mumble from inside the room for Lincoln to get back to bed, but the door swung open and the tall man hovered there. Only one look at Raven, he understood what was up. He didn’t even bother to wear more clothes than his tight boxer shorts, making Raven uncomfortable in any other situation, but now, she didn’t care.

When they got to Sophie’s room she lay exactly as Raven left her. Lincoln rubbed his neck before he started to massage the side of Sophie. No reaction, he sighed and sat the redhead up, covering her with the bed sheet.

“We’re here Fi, no need to be upset. I’m here, Raven’s here. No one’s going to leave you.”

He laid his hands on her thighs and gazed into her eyes. They were absent, she was in another world it seemed.

“Does this happen a lot?” Raven whimpered, making Lincoln’s calming gaze shift to her.

“No…Not since you guys got together for real. It had happened now and then before that though. It doesn’t even help asking her to play video-games, play some sport or rehearse. Not sure if it’s some type of anxiety attack or something. She has gone to loads of psychiatrist’s and shit. Nothing helped, so she gave up,” he rubbed his scalp before he gestured to Raven to try.

“Babe, I’m here,” Raven said weakly, taking her girlfriend’s face in her hands, looking into those beautiful eyes of hers, they were not there.

“Maybe some newly brewed coffee will help.”

Lincoln put Sophie back into bed before him and Raven got down to the kitchen. Raven trembled from fear, she didn’t know how to handle this, it was scary as hell. Having Lincoln there was truly comforting though, he really cared for his friend.

“Clarke never mentioned…”

“She got like this way after Clarke,” Lincoln answered while beginning making eggs and bacon. “Will you make the coffee?”

“Sure…”

“After you and the security guard…I guess her walls just fell down. She started taking meds, they made her feel emptier apparently, so she quit. Started drinking too much, but stopped as she didn’t want to become someone from her past…Now she says exercising, eating good and enjoying life helps. Not sure how to handle this though.”

The tall man sighed before his whole body started to tremble. Raven knew this was the first time she saw him cry, which was odd, because she had known him for a long time. She gently squeezed his shoulder, making his quiet sobs stop.

“I’m only worried for her. Don’t you dare go hurting her!” His eyes gleamed from tears and anger.

“Is this…”

“She’s like this because life has thrown so much shit on her, you wouldn’t believe it. Maybe she needs to talk to you. I hope it’ll help.”

“I’ll do anything for her Lincoln, I swear.”

They nodded to each other before they continued their preparations.

 

**Sophie**

Waking up, she wasn’t herself. She was stuck in her own head, she could feel her friend and girlfriend also, she could hear them. Sophie couldn’t move though, she couldn’t respond. She was stuck in the feeling of emptiness and loneliness. The feeling of not being good enough, that she was worthless, she was a disgrace to her family. Remembering the faces of her father and mother as they threw her out of the house, screaming that she was a disgrace, a lesbian whore, that she was never their daughter. That she only had a girlfriend to make her parents angry, she remembered crying, telling them that no, she couldn’t help her feelings. They shouted at her that saying she was bisexual only meant she didn’t dare to come out as gay, they didn’t want to see her again. Her bags were packed, her parents meant business. So there she was, thrown out from her parent’s home when she was only 14.

The memory didn’t help her from getting back to reality. The smell of strong coffee finally made her snap out of it. She felt tears on her cheeks and she smiled through them. Her girlfriend appearing in her vision again, now she was back, here and now. Sophie didn’t know how she could get so lucky, having a girl who cared this much. Raven returned the grin, but she seemed to be concerned. Sophie started to wonder how long she was out of it.

“God morgon älskling!” Sophie said, forgetting the little fact that her partner didn’t really know that language.

“Good morning to you too babe,” Raven answered, shocking her.

“Damn, you’re good at this now!” Sophie smirked before shuffling some bacon in her mouth.

The redhead started the stereo, playing a song with Scar Symmetry called The Anomaly:

_**I come with both truth and lie,**_  
 _ **Is there darkness without light**_  
 _ **Break of day without an imminent night**_  
 _ **(Tears without sorrow)**_  
 _ **Time without minutes and hours that slide**_  
 _ **Games begin and end in plays of gain and loss**_  
  
_**Deep shallow oceans or hearts without soul**_  
 _ **Learn as your worlds collide**_  
  
_**(Sign the pact) I'm the poison that you need,**_  
 _ **I'm the hand that feeds**_  
 _ **If you follow I will lead**_  
 _ **And you sense**_  
 _ **But you fear what lies beneath, triumph or defeat**_  
 _ **I'm both and none**_  
 _ **Hear when I say: the godless pray,**_  
 _ **The sacred lose faith and leaders are all enslaved**_  
  
_**Renounce, right now, black and white**_  
 _ **There is shame within your pride**_  
 _ **Yearn to live and breathe yet longing to die**_  
 _ **(Here and gone, high and low)**_  
 _ **Time without the years that pass you by**_  
 _ **Praise the sin and all the fools that heed the cross**_

 

After breakfast, Raven placed the tray on a drawer before laying close to her partner, stroking her abs. Sophie seemingly in another place and another time, but still massaging Raven’s head.

“So, I got to ask…”

“I’m sorry for this morning. It’s like I get stuck inside my own head and only see the bad things that has happened to me. It’s a bit overwhelming.”

“I bet it is. You want to talk about it?”

“Are you ready to hear it?”

“Yeah, I want to get to know you. Everything that has to do with you.”

“Okay,” Sophie took a deep breath before continuing. “My parents were all, everyone’s straight and they raised me in the thought that only a girl and boy could be together. Dad was a man who pursued his career and mum a house wife who liked to drink. My grandpa was a drunkard and the only relatives that were good were my mother’s brother, his wife and my cousin. They were more of my family, but hadn’t much money.”

She took in some air before continuing, the pain from her early life memories stinging like it had happened only yesterday. This was not the first time she had talked about it, but the first time it felt like she could actually process everything and maybe, maybe get over it.

“The first time I fell in love, I was 4. She was in my soccer team. A shy girl with dark hair and espresso dark eyes. Being me, I thought everyone had to have a good time and I made it my task to make her happy during practices. I made jokes and she smiled, it was like the sun shone on me. I didn’t know the feelings then, I just thought I liked her as a friend. Fastforwarding the story, she quit the team when we were 8, I quit a year later, no fun anymore I guess. At 13 I fell in love with a guy in my marching band. We met and got together, it felt good, but something was of. I didn’t know what, but when we had sex, which we had loads of times, I liked what he did to me, most of the things, and I enjoyed making someone else feel good but…Something didn’t feel right. We broke up and my parents were heartbroken, the guy had rich parents and was obviously a guy, we had made a great couple in their book.”

Raven only looked at her girlfriend’s hurt expression and Sophie could feel her eyes boring under her skin. It comforted her, made her feel encouraged to go on.

“My dad started working more and more. My mum drank more and more. When I was 14 I started to think of the girl from my team, wondered what had happened to her. I didn’t know though, not about my preferences, not about the fact that you could have the same sex as your partner. She started in my school, another class. We saw each other many times in the distance, but I thought she didn’t remember me. We past each other in the corridor, I could feel a hand grip my arm. Her eyes meeting mine, asking if I hadn’t been playing soccer. She asked me for a movie and dinner. I thought she wanted to be friends, but she paid. In the theater, she put her head on my shoulder, a hand in mine. I knew then that felt right. I walked her home, she told me that she was gay and liked other girls. I didn’t know how to respond, her eyes looked down on my lips and I leaned forward to kiss her. From that moment on, we were inseparable.”

Sophie felt all the hurt from the past hunting her, but she needed to continue, she needed to get this out of her system. Raven circled her thumb on the redhead’s hand, soothing her. She seemed to want to know more.

“I got out as bisexual, because it felt like I was that by then. Everyone got to know, no one really cared, I was still me. My parents didn’t know. I and Felisa was always at her place. It’s not a typical Swedish name, her mother was Italian, or is I mean. After two months, my uncle and cousin convinced me that my parents needed to know. My cousin held my hand while I was at their place and called my mother. Telling her I was bi…It was something else…she yelled at me, saying that I only said that to later come out as homosexual. I was apparently hurting her, she needed time to process that and she called me foul names and shit. I wondered why she didn’t get me? I didn’t chose who I loved, I didn’t chose to love a girl. I needed time, why did she need time? After that my cousin tried his best to comfort me and it sort of worked.”

Sophie started to pace around the room, Raven stared at her with her mouth agape. How could a parent, who is supposed to love their child do something like that?

“My dad took me out to dinner. I told him I also liked girls, he just laughed and said he understood me. "Girls are gorgeous," he said and wanted to know more about my girlfriend. He seemed okay with it and her dropped me of at Felisa’s place, telling me to remember school tomorrow, winking. I felt relief, only to be pushed back into the ground the next evening. I came home to my parent’s. Bags were packed. My parent’s looked at me, telling me I was a disgrace. That I no longer was their daughter. That I was no longer allowed to stay at their place. I was kicked out. I tried to tell them I didn’t choose any of it, but they didn’t listen. I cried, walked outside with my things. It rained, and I walked over to Felisa’s place, they let me live there. Her mother bought a king size bed to her. I had thought about going home to my uncle, but they didn’t have the money.”

“But…It seemed like Felisa was a great girl, what happened there?” Raven had trouble understanding what happened to the couple.

“Well, time I guess, we wanted different things,” a sad smile crept across Sophie’s face. “We were 18, she had turned 19 when we graduated high school. Life was great then, until two weeks after. She and I had a serious talk, I was about to go to college in USA and she wanted to focus on her horse-riding. So, she broke up with me, didn’t think long distance would work. Our goodbye kisses made me believe that she really didn’t want to quit us though.”

“But you’re over her now?”

“Of course love, I got over her the moment me and Clarke got together.”

“I think I can understand where you come from.”

“Thank you for listening, you’re the best girlfriend anyone could ask for.”

Sophie embraced her girlfriend, feeling tons lighter than before. Why hadn’t she thought about talking earlier?

“You know, we’ve got a tour coming up?” Sophie asked while letting her eyes rest in her girlfriend’s.

“Yes, you’ll be gone for 3 months…”

“I would like to go on a trip with you after that, if you’d like of course.”

Raven lit up like a laser beam. Jumping around in bed.

“Hell yeah! Let’s go on a ski trip, maybe we can rent that cabin again?”

“It’s too big for two people,” she winked at the dark-haired lady.

“Oh, you really meant the two of us,” Raven blushed, probably thinking about things they could do all alone in a cabin.

“I think we need time by ourselves.”

“I would very much enjoy that.”

“Good, and hey, I love you,” Sophie kissed the tanned woman on her soft lips.

“I love you too, now, let’s get up from bed and do something with our lives.”


	28. Spilling the beans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa gets to know the truth the hard way
> 
> Or
> 
> When Clarke can't hide things anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thanks for your reactions, it's been great to know what you think!
> 
> I promised you happier chapters, but realized, Clarke has held this secret for quite a while. Telling Lexa after all this time, almost had to turn things a bit ugly. Anyway, it's a longer chapter than usual and I hope you'll like it!
> 
> XOXO

**Lexa**

After dropping Clarke of at her place and giving her a goodbye kiss, it stung in Lexa’s heart. She knew she wouldn’t meet her love until the next Friday, it was Saturday now.

She sighed before driving to Lincoln and Sophie’s place, Cora was fiddling around in the backseat, still energetic from their day. Lexa wondered how she could have that much energy left in her, but she smirked at the thought that the little girl would fall asleep easily in the evening.

Clarke was supposed to go on a dinner with her mother, Octavia and Raven on a fancy restaurant. Apparently the three women were like sisters, if the brunette hadn’t figured it out already, Raven had told her that on the phone earlier in the day. For a moment, Lexa was hurt that she wasn’t allowed to meet her mother-in-law yet. Or, her future mother-in-law…Or, whatever. Lexa shrugged those feelings off of her while parking her car on the drive-way.

Soon the band was supposed to go on a European tour, this would be one of the many upcoming rehearsals. Really, this was the night they were supposed to finish recording the last songs of the new album they had worked on for the last month. Ember had hastily quit without giving the others any reason, she just went up and left the band. Hastily saying something about her needing to leave the country. She had been replaced, but Lexa had not gotten to know by whom yet.

Cora ran to open the garage door, revealing the fantastic, newly renovated recording studio. It was renovated over a month ago anyway, so pretty newly renovated anyway. Lincoln came to hug them both, as did Anya and Sophie. Lexa recognized the new member. A pretty short person with long red hair.

“Hey Lex, and Cora!” Sophie beamed at the two. “Meet our new, or old member of the band, depends on how you see it! Monroe, come say hi!”

Monroe finally looked up from the guitar they had been tuning and beamed at Lexa. Who couldn’t help but feel a bit happy that she had actually met the new member before.

“So we meet again!” Monroe greeted by nodding their head.

“Seems like we do,” Lexa smirked.

“You guys met earlier?” Lincoln seemed pretty surprised at the news.

“Yeah, only a brief second I think, we met at the mall the other day,” the tall brunette explained.

“Mhm,” Cora said before putting on her ear protection, jumping to sit by the mixing table.

“Well, I never told you then, but I’m gender fluid and prefer to be called by last name and they, their or you might work, depending on the situation,” Monroe stated.

“Noted,” Lexa confirmed.

“Then I think we will get along just fine.” The shorter guitarist said.

“Your girlfriend had troubles remembering that in College though…she was always referring to our eminent guitarist as she and her. Everyone else understood pretty quickly, but not Clarke,” Anya laughed at her memories it seemed.

“And she has told me she never had a real relationship…” Lexa mumbled.

At that, Sophie who had started drinking water coughed and spit some on the floor. Making Lexa feel a heavy weight above her own chest. Something was really of about her girlfriend. She could only feel that there were many things she hadn’t been told…

“I call bullshit on that,” Anya stated. “We’ve told her to tell you.”

“She hasn’t, she wants to tell me in private.”

Everyone in the room sighed, before Lincoln gently squeezed Lexa’s shoulder. Comforting eyes looking into her green.

“Let’s just let the music flow for now then?”

Lexa shrugged before sitting down behind the drums. Once again she let her thoughts and feelings disappear as she felt the music flow through her. She even forgot the fact she had a girlfriend, from the first hit on the Hi-hat until they were finished recording several hours later.

 

The week passed by slowly. Lexa had troubles concentrating at work, all she could think of was the upcoming tour, how Octavia, Raven, Clarke and Indra were supposed to help each other to take care of Cora and the fact her girlfriend had blatantly lied to her face. She was feeling nauseated one moment and the next she felt thrilled. Still, the feeling of her chest feeling too tight for her body never left her. Lexa and Clarke called each other every night, but never really had a talk.

 

Friday arrived and Lexa left Cora at Indra’s place before taking a cab to Lincoln’s. They were having a party to celebrate the upcoming tour. The brunette didn’t really feel like partying, she felt more that she wanted to get away from Clarke as soon as possible. How the hell were she to act around their friends on a night like this? There were promises of alcohol and games that they usually played when in College together. If Lexa knew Sophie right, the redhead would make drinks that didn’t make you feel drunk until too late…

Lexa looked smoking hot, if she would say so herself. Tight black, leather pants, a black band T and a black leather vest. Her make-up was extremely smoky and her hair was let out, even though it was curly, it reached down to her navel. She even brought a bottle of whisky to offer the host and hostess, completing her perfect look.

Knocking on the door, Sophie opened it quickly, a drink in her hand. The two of them started laughing. They looked like twins, almost identical clothing, their hair completely different though, otherwise, almost identical.

“Hey there twin!” Sophie said, offering the mixed drink while Lexa offered her the bottle.

“Hello sister!” Lexa smirked while giving the other woman a one-handed hug.

After changing pleasant hello’s with all the people there, Anya, Bellamy, Monty, Jaspar, Maya, Octavia, Raven, Lincoln (of course), Harper and Monroe, Lexa looked for Clarke. She was in the kitchen, downing a shot of vodka. Making a sour face of the bad taste in her mouth as the brunette got closer to her. When Clarke noticed her girlfriend was there, she beamed at her, eyes twinkling from happiness. Lexa could feel her heart making a backflip by just seeing the blonde.

“Hey babe!” Clarke said before kissing and embracing her girlfriend.

“Hey! So, the talk?” Lexa asked, backing of a bit.

They were immediately interrupted by their friends who were shouting from the living room that there were going to be games. Lexa only sighed and hoped they would be able to talk later. Clarke grabbed her hand and headed for their friends.

They were apparently playing a game when one person were supposed to give a statement, giving another person four different alternatives to answer it with. Raven started reading to her girlfriend to show how it was done. They had some flashcards to read from.

“Ok babe, you ready?” the tanned woman asked.

“Always!” Sophie saluted.

“”You get to choose how you’re going to die”, how horrible this is… “is it by the hands of you lover, drug abuse, because a zombie-apocalypse or in a car crash”?”

“Easy one, by the hands of my lover. That way, I would die happily!” Sophie pecked her cheek. “Hopefully I will live a long and happy life with you though.”

“Ew, do you need to be this romantic and all snuggly guggly, get a room!” Bellamy said, making Anya punch him on his chest.

“Clarke, you ready?” Sophie asked.

“Hit me!”

“Oh, this one’s really naughty! “If you’d get to choose one way to have sexual intercourse for the rest of your life you’d rather, have vanilla sex, do bdsm, golden showers or groupsex”,” Sophie laughed at the end, seeing Lexa’s and Clarke’s extreme blushes.

“Em…probably bdsm,” Clarke’s face had turned into some kind of crimson by this, making all around them shout and wolf-whistle.

They continued with the game for half an hour or so before switching to, have you never. Lexa thought that this could never end well, playing it with one’s significant other could probably only end in disaster. Though, she had some ideas of what to ask…

“Ok, I’ll go first,” Lincoln said placing a shot of gin in front of himself. “I have never had sex with someone of the same sex.”

It was a stupid question, most people there had same sex relationships. The shocker was probably Octavia drinking. Lincoln’s eyes widened at that.

“I think Octavia has things to explain,” Bellamy said while looking as shocked as his friend.

Octavia was anything but sober, so she only shrugged her shoulders. Raven and Sophie were matching their facial colors with the latter woman’s hair by the time O opened her mouth.

“Threesome with Raven and Sophie…”

“I didn’t need to hear that,” Bellamy made a face, maybe he didn’t want to know that much about his sister.

Lincoln only laughed and shrugged his head. Only noticing Anya drinking as well.

“Okay, I have explored things during college, okay!” Anya mumbled.

“Who?” Came from Bellamy, everyone eyed the most tattooed person in the room, she was still blushing.

“Okay, I had fun coming to the states, I can admit that!” Sophie stated before letting Lexa know it was Lexa’s turn.

By this time Lexa only knew. The weird way Clarke had been acting around the redhead, how she didn’t want to let Lexa know about previous relationships. She was jealous, because she still had feelings for her. Of this, Lexa was fairly sure. Her throat seemed to dry, her heart squeezed tight, not feeling like it pumped enough blood around the bloodstream anymore. Everyone was looking encouraging at her.

“I have never kissed Sophie,” everyone in the room froze, since it was only the men, Lexa and Sophie herself who didn’t drink, Lexa had enough information to fuel her newfound anger.

The look in her green eyes when she gazed into the blue one’s she had come to love, was filled with wild fire. If looks could kill, Clarke would be dead at this time. Lexa stood up, not wanting to be a part of this anymore, the relationship with a woman who had been lying to her.

“So, this was the person you had a relationship that didn’t mean something, was it?” Every word Lexa uttered, cut like a knife in the air.

“It didn’t mean anything to you?” Sophie was as fired up now as Lexa. “The fuck does that mean Clarke?”

“Can we just, chill down, I can explain…” her voice crocked, scared, she looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Please do,” Lexa’s voice was filled with ice.

“I…I couldn’t explain…I know I should have told you earlier. I’m so sorry Lexa. I told everyone that I would tell you when I was ready. That I would tell you everything by then. I didn’t feel ready, and then so much time had passed and I hoped it wouldn’t get out. The blame is totally on me,” Clarke seemed defeated.

“So?”

“Me and Sophie got together in College, it was extremely serious. We were engaged, lived together, planned our wedding and getting kids, everything. Together with Harper and Monroe, we had planned a trip to go for inseminations.”

Every word cutting through Lexa’s heart, how could she have hidden it this long.

“It ended because I stayed in the closet, my mother never got to know before it was too late…I never told you, because I’ve heard that many people have trouble with partners being friends with exes. I wanted you in my life, but I could never let go of one of my closest friends.”

Tears were streaming down her face, drippling down on the couch she was placed upon. Lexa only felt emptiness welling up inside of her.

“Why did you tell me it wasn’t important? Why didn’t you tell me?” Lexa tried hard to understand even though she only wanted to walk away and never see the blonde again.

“Because, that relationship meant everything to me. It made me a better person and I felt guilty, she’ll always have a place in my heart and…I couldn’t be honest with my feelings myself.”

“If you’d told me, I would never have wanted you to give up on someone that important to you. If you had told me, I would have been okay with it. Now you’ve only made me feel like we’ve lived in a lie.”

“No, I love you Lexa, I’ve loved you since the moment we first met!” the blonde tried to reach for the brunette who started to walk towards the door.

“Had you told me, I had understood. Had you told me, I could feel different about it. Having this thrown at me now? We’re going to another continent soon. We won’t be able to meet in three months, how did you think I would react?” Lexa could feel her own tears starting to roll down.

“I’m so sorry Lexa, I regret not telling you. Please, I’ll do anything to make it up to you!” Clarke said desperately.

“You’ve already ruined everything, I thought we had something worth fighting for. Now? I don’t know anymore. You’re not allowed to babysit Cora when we’re away. You are not allowed to hurt my daughter as well.”

Anya stood up, following her friend home. Trying to soothe her during the night. Lexa thought that maybe, there was no way fixing this.

That was when she looked at a picture of Clarke on her phone, when they were on a restaurant, her smile made Lexa’s heart hurt even more. How much she hated this woman, still, she knew they were made for each other and she loved her. Now was the time for the blonde to show how much she really cared. Anya only held her, let her fingers’ through her friends’ hair. Saying that everything would be okay. Lexa wondered how they ever would be, but deep inside, she hoped this was the only thing Clarke had hidden from her.


	29. When all faith is gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is heartbroken by what she's done
> 
> Or
> 
> When she tries to get back on track with her friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm super excited to tell you that this work has reached over 200 kudos! I'd like to thank you for that!
> 
> Also, I'm sorry for the late update. Me and my partner have decided to take a break and she's just moved out. Therefore, I haven't really felt like writing.
> 
> This chapter might be a little unhappy, but I'll try to make it up to you!
> 
> XOXO

**Clarke**

Shit! Was all Clarke could think of when her girlfriend, (where they still together?), had left the building. Everyone was staring at Clarke, looking mildly, to more confusedly at her. Sophie on the other hand was still furious, the soothing hand of Raven’s on her back didn’t do much to help her calm down.

“Clarke, firstly, why didn’t you tell her earlier, the fuck were you thinking? Secondly, why the fucking hell did you say that our relationship wasn’t important? You fucking idiot! Why the fuck did you ask me to marry you if it wasn’t worth anything to you? Why did you hurt Lexa? You guys are fucking made for each other!” 

Sophie’s eyes were glowing and Raven did her best to hold her down. The redhead tried to rise to get closer to Clarke, which didn’t seem like a good idea.

“Perkele vittu!” Sophie spitted out before crossing her arms and leaned back in her chair again.

“I know! I was an idiot! Okay? I’m not proud of it… I told you babe, you were the only one for me until I met Lexa! You were the star in the sky for me, but then Lexa came and she seemed to be an entire galaxy for me. I couldn’t tell her because, I hadn’t admitted to me yet that I hated myself okay? I fucking knew that you two were made for each other earlier than you guys did. How funny did you think it was seeing you guys long for each other all the time?” Clarke blurted out.

“We didn’t…” Raven blushed.

“Okay, you guys we’re not horrible, it was mostly you who looked like a fangirl every time you looked at Sophie, Raven. Things have been weird and I have had troubles with admitting it to myself okay. I need Lexa in my life, but I don’t know if she wants me anymore.”

Everyone in the room turned silent, awkwardly twisting and turning in their seats. How come things always seemed to turn out uneasy like this?

“So…Um…I guess I’ll be leaving, you guys seem to have things to sort out,” Bellamy cleared his throat. “Nice seeing everyone again, um...” he turned to look around at everyone who nodded in agreement. “I guess I’ll be going.”

At that, almost everyone left the party. Only the people living there, their partners and Clarke were left. The tension not lifting up even a little bit.

“So, um…” Sophie scratched her head as Lincoln and Octavia left the room. “You didn’t mean anything by it?”

“Of course not, but how was I supposed to act? Telling her that yeah, I’m friends with my ex who meant everything to me? You know how that would have turned out.” Clarke sighed as Raven gently stroke her arm.

“Well, it would probably have turned out better than this,” Raven smiled.

“Not a good time for your sass Raven,” the blonde woman breathed before she started to cry.

“If it’s anything, you meant the world to me as well Clarke. It wasn’t easy to move on…” Sophie had softened at the words Clarke had used.

“I guess I’ll need to move on again, right?” Clarke uttered between the sobs.

“Not necessary. Just, call her, text her…” Raven tried to help her friend.

“She’s soon going away, I’m scared that I won’t be able to fix things before that.”

“Let’s start now then?” Sophie tousled the blonde’s hair before giving her a reassuring hug.

“I think it’s too late, her band is soon leaving this country. How the fuck am I supposed to do anything about this?” Clarke muttered.

“If you’ll give up, you’ll only regret it just like I did,” Raven said as she hugged her girlfriend close. “We all think you belong together, fight for her Clarke. Fight for her more than you did for your ex.”

Sophie pouted at her girlfriend before they once again locked each other’s gazes and kissed. How come they were so good locking together, was one of Clarke’s many questions by that time.

“Maybe you’re right, I’m asking her tomorrow.”

 

The next day, Clarke woke up on Lincoln’s couch. She felt her head pound like it had never done before, and she wished she had never tasted a drop of alcohol. She knew the reason she felt like shit had little to do with the liquid drink though… She watched her phone, not one message had been sent or achieved for the last day. Clarke grunted before she put it aside of her and fell asleep again. If she was lucky, Lexa would contact her again. Clarke’s heart skipped a bit when a message signal was heard from her cell just when she had slept for a couple of minutes…

_**Lexa Woods: You okay?** _

What was she even supposed to answer? What was expected of her? Clarke just lay there on the comfortable furniture and grinned to herself.

_**Clarke Griffin: Not really, I miss my gf. U?** _

**_Lexa Woods: Maybe you should care more for her…_ **

It felt like a punch in the blonde woman’s face. She really were in love with the brunette and all she wanted was to fix things between the two of them. Clarke understood that Lexa was mad with her, but she intended to do something about it, something really good. As she started to type a respond, another text came. Making Clarke’s heart beat faster than she ever thought was possible.

**_Lexa Woods: I need time to think... All I know right now is that I don’t want you to babysit Cora when I’ll be away. Just, don’t._ **

Tears started building up and Clarke thought that this was it, she would never be able to make Lexa like her again. One last try, then she would give her the space she seemed to need.

**_Clarke Griffin: Whatever you need. I want you to know that I’m sorry, and I love you. Please, let me talk to you!_ **

**_Lexa Woods: No, not right now._ **

With a heavy heart, Clarke rose from the couch and started to move toward the upper floor. Now, she needed her friends. She needed the support and help to do something for Lexa. She couldn’t and wouldn’t lose her.


	30. Raven's naughty idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven talks Sophie into bringing someone else to have fun with them
> 
> Or
> 
> The one were Sophie and Raven has another threesome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! This chapter is purely something the charachters wanted to happen, sometimes it feels like I'm only a messenger of their will. I'm really happy about your kudos and compliments, you guys are the best! Since it's chapter 30 now and I wanted to celebrate it, it's a really long one. I didn't intend to write this many chapters from the beginning, but I can promise you, there will be many more!
> 
> TW: This chapter is filled with smut in form of a threesome.
> 
> As usual, please let me know what you guys think! 
> 
> XOXO

**Sophie**

The redheaded woman did her best to comfort her friend and ex. Clarke was laying in her lap, crying her eyes out as Raven was pacing the room. She did her best to come up with ideas for Clarke to make Lexa forgive her.

“Just tell her she’s better in bed than your ex, that might work!” Raven said as her fifteenth idea, making her girlfriend pick up a pillow and throw it at her.

“Well, we do fit better together in bed…” Clarke pondered for a moment. “But that’s not going to do anything. The hell am I supposed to do?”

“Sophie, you’re a clever girl, help us!” Raven said while Sophie stroke Clarke’s hair sitting in the bed wondering about life.

“Lexa is a really stubborn woman and not easily offended. You did a number on her Clarke,” she sighed looking at her own tattoos. “Call her, talk to her, and send her flowers. Damn it Clarke! You used to be good at things like this!”

“What if she rejects me for real?” Clarke sobbed, now resting her head in the crook at her friend’s neck, sitting up.

“Then, that is something you have to live with, suck it up Clarke! You made this mess, now, do something to fix it!” Sophie almost growled while watching Raven.

“I’ll… go call her then."

"Do that, then tell us how it went!” Raven said as the blonde left the room.

“You know S…I’ve got this naughty little idea…” the tanned woman said while straddling her woman. “You are soon leaving me for a while…”

“Yeah? By the way, how can you be this horny now? Your friend is terribly upset,” Sophie laughed at her lady.

“I can’t help it, you do things to me only by existing and looking utterly delicious babe,” the dark-haired woman said while nibbling her ear. “I want you…”

“I want you too,” the tattooed lady said before kissing her girlfriend, the other woman released their lips soon after.

“I mean, I want you and you remember the threesome we had?”

“Yeah, how could I forget?” Sophie smiled at the memories, feeling herself getting all worked up again.

“I want one again…”

“We can’t have it with the same girl again, you know that, she has Lincoln now.”

“I want one with Anna.”

Sophie couldn’t believe her ears, did her girlfriend really mean that she wanted a threesome with a friend of Sophie’s who had a crush on said girl? It would probably only break the girl’s heart, not a good idea.

“No, Raven, I love having you all to myself,” strong hands were trailing over a slender body.

“I don’t mind sharing, occasionally,” Raven winked.

“But, the girl would be heartbroken.”

“No, she won’t. Besides, we already know she has the hots for you. We don’t need to look around for someone to have some fun with.”

“Oh fuck, Raven,” Sophie face palmed. “You’re going to be the death of me, you know that right?”

“I know that babe,” Raven said happily before strutting away to give Sophie her phone. “Call her!”

**Raven**

She did regret her idea pretty quickly though. It maybe had a little bit to do with the shape Clarke was in when she re-entered the bedroom. Her blue eyes lifeless and her blonde hair a tangled mess. A sad smile creeping up on her face, the tanned woman had to go give her a hug.

“She didn’t accept my apologies. She needed time and she didn’t want to meet me before you guys go on your tour. I’ve ordered flowers, chocolate and candle delivery at her address and I’m going to send balloons and stuff for your first gig. I don’t know what else to do…” Clarke broke out in a painful shriek, making Lincoln and Octavia join the action.

“How are you holding up Clarke?” Octavia asked, even though it was obvious to everyone present that she wasn’t holding up at all.

“Maybe, she would feel better by going home,” Lincoln said motioning for his girlfriend to join her friend. “I’m going to Harper’s and Monroe’s tonight with Cora, you can take Clarke home Octavia. These two women can probably handle themselves in this big house.”

“We certainly can,” Raven flirted with her girlfriend who turned redder than a crab.

“Take care Clarke, things will be okay!” Sophie said before hugging her friend.

 

A few hours later, the two women didn’t care about anything else except the fact that Anna was coming, hopefully in two senses. Sophie had put on her best black suit, a black vest, a white shirt and a red tie that she matched it all with a black fedora. She was locking really gangster and Raven felt her own wetness increasing only by looking at her hot girlfriend. Damn, it would be impossible for her not to touch her, when they would get out to eat at a restaurant with Anna. Raven herself wore a black pencil skirt and an olive colored blouse showing off the perfect amount of breasts. She also wore black high heels and had her hair flowing down over her shoulders, just like her girlfriend. In the ears of the tanned woman were diamond earrings situated and she wore a diamond necklace, not even fake, her girlfriend apparently had money.

The two of them were nervous when they got into the cab and got even more nervous as they got closer to the fine Spanish diner that Sophie had picked for the evening. They knew the food there would be great. They would also get great seats with private booths. Raven could feel her nervousness turn into excitement as she saw the third woman enter the restaurant.

“You see her?” Raven asked while tugging at her girlfriend’s jacket.

“Yeah, she’s here, we better get out of the cab.” Sophie paid the driver and the couple went inside.

Sophie’s face was all blushed and Raven’s full of happiness. She really enjoyed doing naughty things and fulfill dreams like this, her girlfriend, not so much. The waitress showed them to their table which was situated in the back of the restaurant, full of candles and wine bottles for decorations. The table was probably in oak and the seats were in perfect silk, making it easy to slide down probably…

 

**Sophie**

As the redhead saw her teammate she let out a gasp, most of the times she saw her in full football gear. Tonight, she was wearing a little black lace dress, her hair was in a baked braid and her make-up accentuated her features perfectly. In her ears hang gigantic earrings and she wore a silver necklace with a diamond heart on it. Anna’s smile was wide and her eyes sparkled at the sight of the woman in the suit. It made Sophie’s heart jump a bit, and she felt guilty as Anna stood up. She probably wore high heels as well, because she seemed taller than Sophie remembered. The two friends hugged, maybe a bit too long before Raven and Anna embraced. Raven had given her girlfriend strict instructions to sit in front of Anna and make her feel comfortable and everything. Sophie didn’t know if this situation made herself feel in her right element though. She sat down and removed her hat. Meeting Anna’s chocolate eyes and seeing the other woman’s jaw drop at the sight in front of her. Raven did probably notice…

“So, you think my girlfriend is hot now, you should see her with her clothes off,” Raven teased.

At that Anna’s smile only grew wider before she turned to look at the shorter, tanned woman.

“I know, I’ve been showering with her you know.”

Sophie’s mouth started to get dry at that and she started to imagine how Raven would go wild because of her jealousy. It did shock her though, Raven being the one who wanted threesome’s and stuff, when she used to be the jealous one.

“Hm…what are you and your teammates doing in the shower huh, babe?” the tanned woman asked.

“Nothing!” Sophie started to feel really sweaty in her clothes, why did this situation make her feel so warm?

“Just kidding, I know you don’t do things with others unless I’m in on it as well.”

Anna took a sip of the last of her glass of wine, apparently she had had time to get some before the couple arrived.

“She’s not doing anything, I’m the one checking her out,” Anna bit her lower lip at that.

Raven smiled and Anna did too, Sophie felt all kinds of weird, but right now, she started to feel like she wanted this. She wanted these two ladies. A waitress appeared and they ordered. The rest of the dinner was filled with wine, good food and flirty remarks.

 

**Raven**

Anna agreed to follow the pair home and the three of them were only tipsy enough to laugh at everything they said, but also to feel a loaded chemistry between them. Raven watched her girlfriend and the other girl flirt shamelessly in front of her and for a second she wondered why she had wanted to do something like this. That was before her girlfriend leaned toward her and tugged the tanned woman to sit on top of her in the couch. Anna shifting a bit awkwardly to sit next to the couple. There was lit candles about everywhere, rose petals lay here and there and there was some soft music in the background. The light in the room was enough to see clearly, but was also dark enough to leave an air of mystery around the place. Raven and Sophie’s lips met, their tongues touching, hands brushing the other person. The woman on top threw the hat away before going to get some champagne for the three of them.

She sighed in relief at the thought of a text Lincoln sent earlier, that he and Cora would be sleeping at Lexa’s tonight. Raven wanted this night to be special, she saw it as a goodbye gift to her girlfriend. Bringing in the champagne bucket filled with ice and glasses, she also remembered the strawberries. She brought them as well and when she arrived back in the living room, Anna and Sophie sat in the couch kissing, Sophie’s jacket was already on the floor and they were definitely tonguing, energetic hands going everywhere. Raven put down what she had brought, opened the bottle and started pouring. She couldn’t help herself from being both bothered about how much the taller woman loved her girlfriend. Raven could neither help herself from getting extremely turned on by seeing Sophie and Anna making out like that. Was it getting hot in there or was it only her heating up from need?

The tanned woman brought glasses filled with liquid to the other women as they separated to get some air. Then they started feeding each other strawberries, Raven and Anna eating the berries seductively. Sophie on the other hand tried real hard to be sexy while eating, but only made the other women smile at her.

 

**Sophie**

The tattooed lady found herself surrounded by beautiful women once again. How the fuck did this even happen? She had no time thinking about it, though, because her girlfriend grabbed the back of her neck and started to kiss her passionately. Anna on the other hand started to unbutton the vest. Raven leaned to her lady’s ear and whispered:

“I want you to fuck her while I touch myself,” she licked her lips.

“Anything for you love,” Sophie said before planting one last kiss on her lover’s lips.

The vest disappeared and Sophie helped Anna get up off the couch. The tall woman was tall for real, she had to bend down to kiss the other woman. Sophie’s shirt was removed as well, showing off her black laced underwear, but the tie stayed on, it was pretty sexy... Anna’s eyes opened even wider before she let her dress be removed by strong hands. It revealed pink underwear and a gorgeous body. Sophie looked at her girlfriend who had already removed her own clothes and watched the other two with fire in her eyes while touching her own breasts.

Anna gasped as she started undoing Sophie’s pants, probably not knowing if this was a sick joke or if she was indeed in heaven. After that, Sophie gently removed the other woman’s bra and panties, realizing the latter was totally ruined by wetness.

“You’re so fucking hot!” Anna purred while unbuttoning the other woman’s bra and removing all underwear.

“You are the hot one babe,” Sophie mumbled while looking at the naked body in front of her.

Perky breasts with hardened nipples was almost all she could see. She was in the perfect height to start to lick the breasts without bending or anything. Sophie looked to her girlfriend a moment, she only watched the two while touching herself, biting her lips.

“Ride her in the couch,” Raven ordered.

Sophie smiled at Anna who sat down in the muscly woman’s lap. Their lips touching, tongues tasting. Sophie’s hands gripping onto Anna’s back as the other woman’s hands were squeezing her breasts and the other tousling into red hair.

“Fuck her, fuck her hard!” Raven murmured.

At that, Sophie moved one of her hands, touching a firm muscly butt before going to wet folds. They were drippling wet indeed and Anna started begging for more when Sophie only stroke her finger down her whole length. She obeyed and put a finger inside, which slipped in with ease. Small whimpers were heard from the woman on top of her and moans from the woman next to her. Anna started nibbling at the crook of the shorter woman’s neck as her pace increased, Anna started rocking her hips in time as Sophie’s thrusts. One more finger slid in and Anna’s breath started to grow heavier, Sophie could feel her own sex starting to pound from the want and need for release. After a little while Anna screeched in joy for her as her walls caved in. When she rode out her fireworks on Sophie’s fingers, Raven started screaming as well.

“Let me in on the fun now!” Raven smirked.

Sophie lay down on her back with Anna above her. Anna had one leg between Sophie’s legs as did Sophie between Anna’s. They felt the pressure and Sophie felt like she really needed some friction right now, she had to get her release soon. Raven on the other hand sat comfortably above Sophie’s head, feeling the redheads tongue against her clit, she started moving in rhythm to her woman. Anna started rocking against the beefier woman’s clit and the three of them felt the heat emerging from their actions. Sophie thought about how sexy these two women were and how they moaned at the fact that she gave them pleasure. Something she thoroughly enjoyed, and made her wetter and closer to the edge than she had been during the evening. Raven and Anna moaned once again with pleasure as the speed and friction increased. Sophie curled some fingers inside of Raven and put more pressure in her licking technique as Anna started clutching Sophie’s breasts more, licking them, sucking the nipples. More pressure was put in the knee to clit movement and after a little while the three of them came exceptionally hard. A flood of lady juice came from the taller woman and Sophie only took her face in the hand, the one not recently inside of Raven and looked at her.

“It’s okay, it’s actually cool you’re a squirter,” Sophie said as Raven moved from her position.

“I actually think I’m too tired for anything more, you guys coming?”

The two women remaining in the couch smiled at each other before nodding.

“Yeah, we better get some rest,” Sophie said before starting to clean the worst mess up.

The stain on the furniture would be hard to explain in the morning though. Sophie smiled before the three of them went to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clexa will be endgame, I promise. It's only the fact that Clarke screwed up pretty bad and has to work hard to get Lexa's forgiveness. Sorry about that guys, but their happiness will come!


	31. Courier at the door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cora is a wise little bundle of joy, helping her mother become happier
> 
> Or
> 
> The chapter when Lexa gets presents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm so sorry once again with the late updates! I think it's hard for me to find time to write, especially since I have three different works that I mainly work on. Therefore, I won't promise you any frequent updates in the near future. All I can promise is that I'll update as often as I find time for.
> 
> I would like to thank all of you for your love and comments. Mostly I would like to thank you for reading this, it makes me really happy!
> 
> Have a great weekend!
> 
> XOXO

**Lexa**

“Lexa!” Anya knocked on Lexa's bedroom door in the morning.

“Let me,” Cora said softly to the older woman. “Mama, can I come in?”

“Yes,” Lexa sniffled into her pillow as she lay in her bed.

The door opened slowly and her daughter tiptoed into the room before she lay down next to her mother. For a moment Lexa thought that it was Costia laying there beside her. Cora really had her mother’s caring and wise eyes.

“Mama, are you okay?”

Lexa only hummed as she started playing with her daughter’s hair. Cora was so smart and caring for her age. Sometimes she wondered how she could have been gifted with such an amazing child. Times like these made the mother realize more than ever how much the little child meant. She kissed her daughter’s forehead and held her close. Telling her that everything was going to be fine. If it was to comfort her daughter or herself was pretty unclear though.

“What happened? Is it Clarke?” Cora asked, her small hands holding on to her mother.

“How did you know?”

“I know everything!” the little girl rolled her eyes, pretty much like the brunette usually did.

“I should’ve known that,” Lexa chuckled. “She lied to me and those lies hurt me real bad.”

“But mama, you always say that a person always deserves a second chance,” Cora cuddled into her mother’s strong arms.

“Yes, but that depends on how much the other person has hurt you,” Lexa said.

“What did she do?”

“Hm…” Lexa searched through her mind to find something she could compare the lies on a level Cora would understand. “It’s a bit like, you meet a new best-friend. She says that she never had a best friend before you. Then you meet her old friends and you realize that she still is a friend with her former best-friend.” She felt pretty content with the explanation.

“I’m not born yesterday mama…Anya and daddy told me. Clarke lied about not having been in a serious relationship. Though she had been engaged and stuff with Sophie who she still is friends with.”

It sounded on Costia that it was no biggie, lying about such things. When she said it like that, it seemed pretty weird that Lexa was mad at Clarke for not saying anything. It could have been something much worse.

“If I were you, I would give her curfew. You must not tell lies!”

Cora stated before dozing off in her mother’s arms. Lexa felt the love inside warm her up, the love for her daughter. Nothing could make her feel more proud than to know that her little girl would grow up to be a goodhearted woman who cared for others as well as herself. Tears welling up inside, because the young girl was so much smarter than many she had met.

“I know Cora, I know. She will get her curfew, we won’t meet until I get back from the tour.”

“Does that mean I’ve got a curfew as well?” Cora sounded saddened by these facts.

“No, that only means that you will be with aunt Indra and Octavia.”

“Am I to call Octavia my Warrior princess, because I can’t call her mother and I definitely can’t call her auntie…I don’t know what I can call her?”

“Ask her, but I think she would love to be called the Warrior princess.”

How nice it was that Cora could jump from one subject to another. One of the true pleasures of having kids. Lexa had a bad time as it was anyhow. She had extreme troubles with forgiving the woman. Why had she really had to lie about it that long? Would Lexa be able to forgive her anytime soon?

“Want to go see to if Anya started with breakfast yet?”

A shriek was heard from Cora as she hurried out into the kitchen. Lexa only sighed before looking around her bedroom. Thinking that this was the last 36 hours she would have before she would go away. She still hadn’t packed.

 

Around lunch time the doorbell rang and Lexa went to open. It was a courier who held a big bouquet of flowers in different nuances of red and a big box in their hands.

“Message to Miss Lexa Woods!” were their only words.

Lexa signed the papers before she closed the door, utterly perplexed about what had happened. The bouquet was filled with roses, daisies, tulips and orchids. A small card was in it as well.

 

_Lexa_

_The love of my life_

_I should have told you about the one who almost became my wife._

_I am devastated_

_I shouldn’t have procrastinated._

_Anything I could do I would do it for you._

_Please forgive me_

_Yours in this life and the next Clarke Griffin_

 

The brunette only stared at it. Inside was a small drawing of Lexa and Clarke holding each other’s hands and a small heart was drawn above their heads. A big package of chocolate and another one with candles accompanied the flowers. Lexa couldn’t help herself from smiling at this small gesture. Still, she couldn’t forgive Clarke this easily. Lying about something that important had really hurt her. This was a nice try, but Clarke would have to try even harder to earn Lexa's forgiveness.


	32. Have faith in me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke goes to the bands go away party
> 
> Or
> 
> When Lexa and Clarke meets again, or will they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Seems like I can't promise you regular updates and I'm really sorry for that! I will do my best anyway to update more often than I've had.
> 
> Another chapter where it did not turn out as originally planned, but I hope you'll like it!
> 
> I would like to thank you guys for your love and the inspiration you give me! 
> 
> XOXO

**Clarke**

No, Clarke. What have you done? You can do better than that. Effort needs to be put down to make Lexa understand that you are sorry for what you've done!

She was now thinking of the woman of her dreams. The woman, she had let down. How could you be this stupid Clarke? She wondered to herself. Watching time go by, counting down the hours until Lexa would leave the continent. It was Sunday now, two days had gone since Lexa had found out. Two extremely long and painful days. The blonde woman had not heard from her girlfriend since yesterday. She had sent a thank you message for the presents. Nothing more, nothing less.

Alone, in a big apartment. That was how she woke up. A text message from Raven on her phone.

_**Raven Reyes: Get yourself together and get over here Clarke. There is supposed to be a fancy dinner tonight. They’ll take the flight tomorrow. Your last chance.** _

A lump was building in the throat of the blonde woman. Her last chance? What was she supposed to do? Clarke had no idea if Lexa even wanted to speak to her. She had been terribly mad and for a good reason.

**_Clarke Griffin: I don’t think Lexa wants me there._ **

_**Raven Reyes: Everyone else wants you here. Maybe you could talk it out.** _

Clarke’s legs felt like jelly when she walked to the cab Raven had sent her. Did she dare hoping for a redemption with Lexa? She took a snapchat and sent to Octavia, asking if she looked okay. Which she did, but she was overly self-conscious. Her slim skirt and tight tank-top made her curves look even more perfect than usual and her hair was perfectly curled. The constant thought in the back of her head was anyway, would it be good enough?

 

Arriving at the house she had spent much time in lately, she wanted to puke. Her stomach was trembling and her legs had trouble bearing her weight. She knew why she was nervous, but this was ridiculous. Raven came running towards her in a red dress, lunging herself around Clarke’s neck. A stench of alcohol oozing from her lips. Small giggles escaping the more tanned woman’s lips.

“Heya there Clarke! Me and Sophie did this stupid sexy thing the other night…”

“Raven, are you already drunk?” Clarke chuckled.

“Yes, I had to. Anna is more in love with Sophie now than she was before!”

“How come?”

“Oh…I talked them into a threesome…It was so fucking hot!” Raven smiled at her friend who started laughing.

That woman was pretty hopeless, but it made Clarke relax a bit more. The thought of her crazy friend and her sexcapades took her mind of the more serious things lurking in her mind.

Strolling into the house, arm in arm, Raven started to give Clarke the details, but the blonde made her friend shut up about it. She didn’t need to know. More important, she didn't want to know.

“So, um…How’s Lexa?”

“Oh…I don’t know if she’s coming or not.”

“Well, that is a mission for Clarke, don’t you think?” Sophie joined their conversation before hugging her previous fiancé. “I hope Raven hasn’t told you everything by the way.” Sophie started to blush.

“She tried to, but I stopped her.”

“Good! But babe, you can't go telling people about what we're doing when we're on our own,” said Sophie eying her girlfriend.

"I've told you, you're not the babe type, I am!" Raven protested before she pecked Sophie on her cheek. "I can't promise you not to say anything, I am a little bit tipsy tonight!" 

Later, Raven dragged the other two women with her to the backyard. The rest of the band had started to take seats by the tables, Monroe had brought her wife and child. Also, Bellamy, Jasper and Monty had joined them. They were quite a few people, but not as many as they could have been. Tonight, it was Italian food on the menu. Clarke wasn’t surprised, Sophie had always had a thing for Italian food. Probably the Italian women as well, but that was something they would never know.

Lincoln had Cora by his side. She had already started to fill her plate with pasta, prosciutto and other delicacies. Octavia was standing there as well, laughing at something Lincoln had said. They looked like the perfect couple, as always. Something that made Clarke’s heart clench a bit extra, since she knew she might had lost the chance at happiness with Lexa. Anna was there and was probably as miserable as Clarke. They gave each other small nods before heading for the wine table.

“So, you, Raven and Sophie, huh?” Clarke said, trying to light the mood between them as Sophie and Raven had gone to talk with their other guests.

“Um, yeah…It didn’t really help. Sophie is so wonderful, thoughtful, charming…Knowing how good she is in bed didn’t make me fall less in love with her really…I mean, it felt like she would make me come by only touching me…”

Clarke tried to clear her throat at that as she filled her own glass with wine a bit faster. That was a conversation she wanted to escape before it even began. She cursed herself for bringing it up.

“So, nice weather today?” She said, trying to change the topic.

“Very nice. You would know about Sophie. I mean, since you didn’t know you were bi, she would have been your first girl? It’s only a guess, no one has told me anything.” Anna's eyes widened and she lifted her hand to her mouth. “Sorry, you don’t need to answer that, I’m only curious.”

“A good guess. It’s true, but that is really none of your business.”

That was the first time Clarke really looked at Anna. She was really pretty, even though she was too drunk to have more wine. This night, she would get to know more about this woman than she had bargained for it seemed, though.

“Is it weird that my first time ever was a threesome…and at the age of 27?” Anna’s voice was very shaky now.

How could one answer a question like that? That was information that Clarke did not want or need, but it felt like the poor woman had no one else to confide to. So she thought long and hard for an answer.

“It’s not weird at all. You are ready when you are ready. The only important thing is that you and your partner should be comfortable and caring. Respect and love are the most important things.”

“Honesty, honesty is another important thing you should remember,” Clarke winced at the sound of an angelic voice.

She dared not to turn around, but she did anyway. There stood the woman of her dreams, Lexa. She was looking as stunning as usual in a pair of tight jeans and a black shirt with a green tie. Her braided hair glowing from the lights at the porch.

“Definitely, I forgot to mention that,” a tiny voice the blonde didn’t recognize as her own said.

“Kiss and make up now you two. You should be thankful that you guys actually have found someone who loves you as much as you love them,” with that, Anna left to join the other people.

“Clarke.”

“Lexa.”

The two women only stood there, Clarke felt her arms getting all heavy and spaghetti- like without a reason. They remained silent for some time. After a few minutes, Clarke had to look into those green eyes she had come to love so much. She found no trace of regret in them but some hurt and way too much love which she didn’t deserve. Her heart thumped harder and harder.

“I truly am sorry that I lied to you.”

“I know.”

“You are breathtaking tonight.”

“So are you, Clarke.”

The blonde woman was pretty certain she hadn’t earned her lovers forgiveness yet. That was why she walked her to the refreshment table. Giving her a glass of wine to drink. Lexa quickly put both their glasses away.

“There is something else I want to do first, but you should know that I am still terribly mad at you.”

Lexa closed the distance between them, making Clarke’s heart race as fast as a leopard can run. The latter woman started to walk backwards until she hit the table, she took a firm grip at the tablecloth. Lexa was now inches away from her, eyes piercing through her. A gulp escaped the trapped woman.

“I understand that you were afraid to tell the truth, but sometimes one has to do what is right. Not what's easy. I will be mad at you, but I might be able to forgive you.” Lexa said taking Clarke’s hands in hers before meeting her loved one's lips in a hungry kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The upcoming chapters will not be in the same order as it has been for some time now. The story will be told in the person's perspective who will suit best. 
> 
> If you have any suggestions that you want to happen in the story I'm up for some inspiration. Let me know what you would like to see! 
> 
> XOXO


	33. Last night surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings get heated during the dinner party and afterwards
> 
> Or
> 
> When all women seem to be more naughty than usual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I want to thank you all for your love and support! I love to hear what you think about this, it makes my days brighter and my writing easier!
> 
> This chapter is pretty fluffy and smutty, but the next chapter will be even naughtier. 
> 
> Have a great Weekend and take care!
> 
> XOXO

**Lexa**

What had gotten into this woman? How could she forgive her lover this easily? She had lied about something really important for God's sake!

The dinner was fabulous and extremely tasty. Still, it was painful for Lexa to sit through. She wanted to do something else, or rather, someone else. Everyone was nice and they had a good time. Her lovely daughter was being lovely as ever. The only thing going through her mind was still Clarke, pinned in her bed, without clothing. With every bite of the sweet panna cotta, Lexa imagined Clarke’s tongue sweeping over her hardened nipples. With every sip of wine… Maybe, Lexa had had enough wine for tonight…

She didn’t know why she had become a horny little devil. It might be because she wouldn’t be able to meet Clarke in a couple of months. Another reason might be because the blonde woman looked extremely hot tonight. She always was hot, but this night, she was even sexier than usual. Maybe it was the fact that she had opened up and told Lexa something very important.

After dinner Lexa and Clarke went to the fountain to sit down a while. Lexa hoped that the calming water would tone her burning desire down a notch. What she didn’t expect was for it to have the opposite effect. There were bushes around them, so people couldn’t see what they were doing. The thought in itself made Lexa feel warm inside, she gazed into Clarke’s eyes.

“So, I’m going to miss you when you’ll go away,” Clarke sighed, entwining her fingers with her lover’s.

“I don’t think I will survive without you for that long,” Lexa’s orbs were burning with fire, making Clarke bite her tongue.

“I sure hope you’ll do. I love you Lexa.”

At that Lexa couldn’t keep away anymore. She needed Clarke, right there, right then. She hastily closed the distance between them. Meeting her lips in a heated kiss, letting her hands touch soft skin. Clarke let out soft moans, making Lexa’s heart beating even faster.

“Fuck me, commander…I really need you,” she whispered in Lexa’s ears. The brunette didn’t need more than that to convince her to bring the blonde home early.

 

**Lincoln**

The muscly man stood by the table with both his girlfriend and best friend. He could barely believe how amazing it felt to celebrate the band's trip. Nor how reliving it was for all the people there who were working in the police force to have quit their jobs. Except Anna of course, she didn't have a reason to.

Lincoln, Sophie and Octavia were having a heated discussion about games they liked. All three of them had pretty similar tastes, but still not quite the same. Something they had noticed years ago already. 

Lincoln couldn’t believe his luck that he had finally gotten together with the woman he had longed for since they first met. Octavia was looking pretty as usual, but still badass. She wasn’t one to only strut around looking pretty. That might be one of the reasons he was so taken with her.

“I’m going to say that Fallout 4 was not as good as Fallout New Vegas,” Sophie said making Octavia nod.

“Yeah, but I like Fallout 3 better,” Octavia answered.

“No, you’re both wrong. The classics 1 and 2 are way better!” Lincoln thought.

They were interrupted in their discussion by Raven and Anna who linked one arm each with Sophie. The redhead looked completely shocked by the action. When Raven whispered in hear ear, she turned red and seemed to start to sweat. Lincoln only laughed, he knew her too well, the perv.

He was pretty happy Cora recently had fallen asleep in the couch. She had refused to go to bed while the grown-ups were up. So, she was allowed to watch some movies. She had fallen asleep pretty quickly. His chest swelled with pride, he was part of the reason the little girl existed. Cora made the world a little brighter by only being alive. For a moment he gazed at his own woman, wondering if she was as interested in making more babies as he was. She would be an incredible mother. Their babies would be really pretty too.

“So, we are going to kidnap your friend for the rest of the evening. We are going to the movies. She’ll be back in the morning and in time for your flight,” Raven said, smiling.

“Sure, have fun!”

He was sure they would have fun, and he knew they wouldn’t be going to the movies. Raven couldn’t fool him, Lincoln had known Sophie for as long as she had.

 

**Sophie**

What happened there? Sophie was at home, having a great dinner party with close friends and suddenly she was in a hotel with Raven and Anna. Standing by the desk, feeling all drenched and nervous. The fuck where they even doing there?

“Maybe it’s better if I take it?” Anna said signing for Raven and Sophie to stand a bit further away.

The girl in the reception looked awfully bored when Anna got closer. No wonder, it seemed to be a very slow night. The hall echoed, no one else but the four of them was in sight. 

“A hotel room please, and a big bed,” Anna said with a shaky voice.

“There is only the presidential suite available right now,” the receptionist answered before her eyes widened. “Is that not? Charmer from The Pounder Grounders standing over there?”

 

As they got up to the ginormous room, Raven laid down on the bed. Slowly closing her eyes.

“Honey, what about using their bubble pool?” Sophie asked before her girlfriend dozed off.

“I’m so sorry babe, I need some sleep. Why don’t you two go up there and have some fun? I’m so sorry, I really wanted to make this night special for you.”

“I’ll leave you alone a while, you might need to talk,” Anna sighed and seemed prepared to leave.

“No! I want you to take care of my girlfriend for me. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do anything tonight. If you’ll give me some time to sleep I might have more energy.”

“What do you mean?”

“Please, fuck her brains out in the bubble pool.”

“But,” Anna tried to object.

“No, I won’t hear about it. Take care of each other, I need sleep.”

Sophie felt guilt inside of her. She wanted Raven to be in on it, but she demanded her to be with someone else. Anna was a beautiful woman and Sophie loved her, as a friend. If Raven didn’t exist, she would’ve loved her as a girlfriend, of that she was sure. Anna loved her back, more than as friends. How could they be able to do things together?

“Please Sophie, enjoy your night here. I love and trust you. You need this. I now it. Go fuck, then come back for some more fucking when I’m ready.”

“You’re drunk love, you don’t mean this.”

“I do mean this. Please go!”

Sophie kissed Raven before the dark haired woman pushed the muscled woman back. Nodding to the taller woman. Anna stood there, breathless. One more look, Sophie gave her girlfriend before taking Anna’s hand in hers.

“Let’s get some towels and get to the Jacuzzi.”

 

**Anna**

Was she dreaming? Had she died and gone to heaven? Anna couldn’t believe her eyes when she was all alone with Sophie in the Jacuzzi on the top floor at the hotel. No clothes on, romantic music was playing in the background. They had a perfect view over the city and the amazing city lights. Though, Anna was more than content with the view of a perfect woman with the perfect body. She didn’t know how to act, what to feel. Anna suspected that Sophie would feel like she was cheating on her girlfriend if they did things on their own. Still, some part of her hoped that Sophie would listen to Raven’s orders. She had told them to do things even though she wasn’t around.

Anna moved a bit closer, feeling soft skin against her in the warm water.

“It’s beautiful up here, don’t you think?” Anna said, brushing a strand of hair from her own face.

“It is. You are stunning Anna, you know that right?”

The tall woman started to blush. Never had someone given her this much compliments as Sophie had. Never had someone made her feel like a woman like she had. Too bad she was taken. Anna had found the woman of her dreams. That was all she would continue to be though. The woman of her dreams.

“I’m in love with you Charmer,” Anna couldn’t help herself, she regretted her words, but on the same time, she didn’t.

“I love you too Anna, in some other life, it might have been the two of us. Still, Raven is my girlfriend and I would do anything for her.”

The redhead got lost in her own thoughts for a moment. Anna felt coldness taking a grip of her heart. Would this mean that she would never be able to be close to Sophie?

“Maybe she is right. Maybe I need you right now.”

“I want this if you want this.”

“I do, I want you.”

Anna hoped it wasn’t the alcohol talking or making them do things. Sophie put her arm behind Anna’s neck and her lips against hers. Making Anna’s heart thaw once again, feeling something resembling hope. Hope, that there might be someone out there for her as well. Right now, it was only the two of them there. Lips meeting, tongues gently touching. God, this was a godly feeling. A feeling Anna would never want to let go. The warmth from another person, the love of someone who respected her. When she squeezed the other woman closer to her, she knew she was fucked. Anna would never get over Sophie, she would always want this woman. A content sigh escaping her lips when they drifted apart for a small second to get some air. How could she ever forget this moment? The moment she was alone with the love of her life. They eyed each other closely. Brown eyes seeking the light in blue-green.

I love you miss Ringbom, I will never let you go or out of my life. Those were words she wanted to say, but she couldn't. She knew the other woman didn't feel the same. It hurt as hell, but still, they were there. Still, she got one moment in heaven. Anna would make the best of it.


	34. Guilty pleasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clexa's goodbye sex!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you for your love and support!
> 
> Here's another chapter that I hope you're going to love! :D
> 
> XOXO

**Clarke**

Never had Clarke imagined her girlfriend to be the type to hurry away from a party or something to get laid. It was a pleasant surprise, still, it would have been nice to know it would happen earlier. It was a mess at her place, where they were going right now.

Sitting in a cab making out like horny teenagers, the poor taxi driver had troubles keeping his eyes on the road. They couldn’t blame him either. They were not trying to hide their lust, hands were everywhere. As were their lips.

“Lexa, maybe we should…tone things down a bit?” Clarke asked her girlfriend hesitantly.

“Yeah, you might be right.”

It was too late though, they had already arrived at their destination and their driver didn’t want to get paid. He only told them to leave the cab and drove as fast as he could, away from them. Left were two women, standing outside an apartment complex. Seemingly put together like two pieces of puzzle. If puzzle pieces could make-out, of course.

Lexa lifted Clarke into her arms and carried her inside the building until they reached Clarke’s door. Both persons breathed heavily and their pulses beat fast. The former thought she would die if she breathed any faster.

Some fiddling with the keys didn’t keep the lovebirds apart. Nor did the fact that the door had to be opened. They kept kissing, touching. If the neighbors had seen them and if Clarke had been sober, she had probably been really embarrassed. That was not the case right now. The pair was so drunk from alcohol and love that they didn’t care about the world around them. They had a hard time waiting to get the clothes of each other before they got inside the flat.

“My room…”

“Do we have time to get there?” Lexa breathed heavily into Clarke’s ear, making her shiver.

“Maybe not…” Lexa started removing Clarke’s clothing even before they closed the door.

There was no time to waste, both women wanted each other and they knew they wouldn’t meet again soon. Clarke let Lexa’s lips touch her neck, throat, cheeks, and collarbone. Every time skin touched skin, she moaned. How could she get this lucky? She had been a terrible girlfriend.

“I’m really mad at you Clarke,” Lexa huffed between kisses. “So, fucking mad.”

Both women’s clothes lay on the floor and Lexa pushed Clarke toward the door. The blonde’s body pushing against it with a thud. Clarke moaned from the pain it caused her and because Lexa taking control of her was damn sexy.

“Get down!” Lexa ordered and Clarke obeyed, eyeing her girlfriend’s pussy before letting her tongue circle it.

 

**Lexa**

Seeing Clarke on her knees, eating her out, Lexa couldn’t hold her pelvis still. It kept moving in perfect rhythm with her girlfriends’ cunning tongue and fingers. Cussing under her breath, her hands pulling Clarke’s face even closer. Her body throbbed and felt totally amazing in the same time. Blue eyes gawking into her green from time to time, flaming with desire. It didn’t take long for Lexa to explode into a thousand different emotions and hit her head in the wall. All it made her feel was more pleasure, damn Lexa, who knew you were into bdsm? She panted heavily as she brought her girlfriend up to let their lips touch gently. Their arms around the other’s back. Lexa firmly whipped Clarke’s buttocks with her hand, making Clarke go even crazier from want. Apparently, she liked it rough as well. Clarke was lifted up and straddled Lexa against the wall. Lexa’s fingers massaging her breasts, shoulders, back, neck and butt. Before she let them strike Clarke’s length and circling her sweet bud. The straddling woman started to take deeper and deeper breaths as the one standing up hastened the pace.

“Oh, fuck Lexa!” Clarke breathed out when three fingers got inside of her. Lexa felt the warmth and wetness that was part her girlfriend. Slick walls inside her love-cave was embracing the touch of her lover with ease. She kept going faster, kept more pressure in it and felt herself almost get to the edge. Because seeing Clarke with her eyes closed, biting her lips and throwing her head back while moaning was indeed the sexiest thing on the entire planet. After a little while both women’s bodies started to shake and they felt like fireworks inside. Lexa almost felt embarrassed because she came undone for Clarke that easily.

The two women stood up and embraced for a little while before they walked to Clarke’s room hand in hand. The brunette looked around, seeing clothes everywhere as the blonde turned on the light.

“Sorry ‘bout the mess, I didn’t expect company,” Clarke blushed.

“It’s perfect,” Lexa said before stroking her own lips against Clarke’s soft nose. “Except, we need candles."

A beaming smile met her and Clarke ran off to gather a dozen of candles in various forms. She lit them in silence as Lexa turned on the computer and picked a suitable playlist. Afterwards Lexa took Clarke’s hand in hers and they started to slow-dance.

Enjoying each other’s company for the last time in a couple of months. Knowing they wouldn’t meet for what seemed like ages made the pair embrace the moment more than they would probably do otherwise. Lexa felt like home in Clarke’s arms and she would never want to give that feeling up.

“I love you,“ Clarke whispered.

“I’ll be home before you know it.”

Lexa knew these months apart would be painful, but she tried to tell herself that it would be good for them. Maybe their feelings would build even more. Then again, if she would get more feelings for the blonde, she would probably not be able to contain herself around her. They got back to some more love-making after a while. There was no time to lose. Lexa knew she would pay for it in the morning and that the flight would probably be painful with so little sleep. One look at her lover made her think that it would be worth it. Clarke was worthy of everything.


	35. Fun at the hotel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven, Sophie and Anna has some fun
> 
> Or
> 
> Yet another threesome, probably the last, or is it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm in a roll with this work right now, I'm hoping you're going to like it!
> 
> TW: Threesome, smut 
> 
> XOXO

**Sophie**

Sophie felt guilty, both for wanting the woman next to her and for listening to her girlfriend. Was this something that she really wanted for herself? Did she do it because Raven told her to and because she knew that Anna wanted this to happen? Would this be her being unfaithful? Would this be Sophie doing the one thing she hated other people for doing?

Anna’s hands were now entangled in Sophie’s hair as she was straddling her in the Jacuzzi.

“You sure you want this?” Anna asked with a soft voice.

Cappuccino colored eyes piercing into blue-green, searching for some kind of answer. Sophie felt her own body responding to it by getting wetter, not only because of the water. She gulped before she nodded. Anna pulled the other woman’s face closer to hers, careful not as to push too far or go to fast. When Sophie felt Anna’s tongue gently seeking permission to enter her mouth. That made herself letting all her self-control go. Maybe they needed this, Raven would join them when they got back down to the hotel room.

Two strong hands held Anna by her back, gently striking it. Anna let out a content sigh before she turned her attention to Sophie’s neck and collarbones. Both kissing and nibbling them. The woman underneath, started to inhale faster and let her hand search for smooth folds. Earning herself some moans from the taller woman when she finally found the throbbing clit.

 

**Anna**

Was this how it felt being stuck in limbo? Being with the love of your life, knowing you could never get her?

Anna tried hard to push the negative thoughts aside, but knowing this would probably be the only time she would be alone with Sophie, made her cry inside. She made her so happy and her fingers rubbing her in the right places made her fly to the moon and back. Sophie nibbling her perky nipples didn’t make things easier either, it felt way too good, Anna couldn’t keep quiet for a second. While she enjoyed it, she hated herself for it. Borrowing her love for only a moment. This would come back and haunt her when she would be lonely again. The last time they had fun made her fall even harder for the tattooed lady. Why couldn’t Sophie leave Raven for her? Why couldn’t she feel the same way as she had done, the first time they met? Anna’s heart had sent sparks flying everywhere with only a look at those biceps and the crooked smile of hers.

Sophie took one of Anna’s hands and moved it to her pussy. Waking Anna from her thoughts. What the hell are you doing Anna? You need to appreciate this, let go of everything and live in this moment, this won’t return. Feeling the wet pussy against her thin skin on her fingers made them work faster than ever. Sophie started breathing heavily as Anna felt the other woman’s fingers working her even faster. Their lips meeting, their tongues entwining and wanting more.

“Deeper!” Anna croaked after a while, making Sophie push into her even further.

They kept fucking and Anna started screaming as they both came undone before someone knocked on the door. Shit! They grabbed their towels and wired them around their bodies. Looking bewildered at each other, still wet, hot and both person’s hair were totally messed up.

“Who is it?” Anna asked hesitantly.

“Someone ordered champagne and strawberries,” a person said by the door.

“Take it to the room please.”

“Sure.”

Both women looked at each other, feeling relief washing over them before they both started laughing.

“Shit, that was close!” Sophie said hugging the other woman who melted totally into the embrace.

 

**Raven**

The tanned woman laid in bed, having slept a little bit and was definitely ready to do things. She thought that she had been really thoughtful to send some room service to her girlfriend and the girl fucking her. What was she supposed to do now? She had been sleeping for about an hour and they had still not returned.

The door knocked and she hurried to grab a robe. Hoping it was Sophie, she missed her already. How was she supposed to survive without her for months when she couldn't even survive an hour without her?

“Room service,” a voice echoed outside the door.

Raven opened and brought in the champagne and strawberries. Feeling disappointed that it hadn’t been someone else.

She decided to ditch the robe and put on a black corset, black thongs and matching stay-ups. What wouldn’t she do for her girlfriend? She dearly hoped her newly bought underwear would be appreciated.

She returned to bed just as she heard voices laughing outside the room and a card opening it. In came both Sophie and Anna, looking pretty content with life in general. Both of them wore the hotel robes in red silk, looking pretty hot. Both having their hair in baked braids, probably Anna’s making, Sophie were not good at hairstyles except for pony-tails. As they closed the door and saw Raven on the bed, Sophie started drooling and ditched her robe in a second.

“There’s champagne and…” Raven got interrupted by Sophie kissing her mouth.

“There’s no time for that,” Sophie said.

Anna dimmed the light before she let her own garments go.

 

**Sophie**

Once again she was in the middle of two women, showing her some loving. Sophie was kissing her girlfriend and before she knew it, she had a strap-on strapped on and was on her back. Her girlfriend had ditched her thongs and was sitting on her face while Anna straddled her and moaned as she let the dildo glide inside of her.

Raven started making sounds as Sophie let her tongue lick her most sensitive spots. Soaking up her wetness and taste for the last time for a while. She made a mental note to never forget the taste of her girlfriend, it was the best taste she had ever known. Her tongue worked faster and harder with every second increasing the noises from the woman above her. In the same time Sophie rocked her pelvis, feeling Anna moving in rhythm with her, also making various sounds and curses as she was grappling the other woman’s breasts, squeezing tighter with every second. The air in the room was soon filled with the want and need between the three ladies. It was an unspeakable chemistry between them which made them feel comfortable and very wet. Sophie worked harder and harder until she saw and felt the other women coming undone above her, making herself getting to the edge. The best thing with sex would always be to make someone else come according to her.

“Holy shit! That was intense!” Raven said before laying down a minute. “Let’s do this again!”

Sophie sighed and realized that she would be a mess on the plane the morning after. These women would probably give her muscle fever from all of this, but it would be worth it.

“I didn’t think about stopping,” Sophie smiled into a kiss with her girlfriend.

There was no time for sleep at all in that hotel room that night. The three of them wanted to make the most of the time they had left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is going to be a bit more angsty and full of Clexa stuff! :D


	36. Everlasting bomb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The band is getting ready to leave the country
> 
> Or
> 
> The chapter when everyone seems to be late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry that I've been so terrible to update! This time it's because I've started to work and we've played semi-finals with my football team. We didn't win, so, now I'm post-season and is probably going to have more time on my hands.
> 
> I wish to send a thanks to everyone who encourages me to keep writing! Your comments make my day! :)
> 
> XOXO

**Clarke**

Waking up next to one’s love of their life must be the best feeling in the world. If it didn’t mean it would be the last time in what would feel like forever. Or, when you woke up way too late and felt really stressed out. That was how Clarke woke up that morning, she could see her lover smiling in her sleep, the sun shining in through the window, making her look even more amazing than usual. She checked the phone, it was 10 o’clock, Lexa’s plane would leave ground in three hours. Clarke panicked and started to shake Lexa gently awake. Green eyes opened, still sleepy.

“Hey, Clarke!” a big smile spreading over soft lips.

“Good morning, we have no time to waste. You got to get to your plane, you’ve already packed right?”

Her eyes grew wide, realizing they had been awake most of the night, making sweet love, or had been fucking, whatever one would like to describe it. They promised each other to not fall asleep, but they did anyway.

“Shit!” Lexa flew out of bed looking for clothes she had left at Clarke’s place. “I need a quick shower, can you please make some coffee?” The brunette kissed the blonde on her cheek.

“Sure, you know where the towels are, right?”

“In the cabinet?”

 

**Lexa**

Shit! How did she end up this stressed up? She knew it was a bad thing to fall asleep like that. Standing in the shower, she remembered not packing her passport. That was definitely one of the more necessary things she would have to find when she got home. Hurriedly, she got clean and got dressed, before she heard some of the most beautiful sounds in the whole world. The coffee machine making coffee and Clarke singing some love songs while making egg and bacon. Lexa sneaked out into the kitchen and let her arms around her love, which startled the other woman a bit. Clarke only smiled though and served the food before kissing the taller woman.

The started to eat breakfast and kept their gazes on each other. Trying to remember every inch of the other person until later.

“So, can you give me a ride to get my things and then to the airport?” Lexa took a sip of her coffee. “If you’d like, I mean…”

“Of course honey, I’d do anything for you!”

With that, they finished eating and got to Lexa’s apartment. One final look at the place before carrying the bags to Clarke’s car. Lexa would definitely miss her own bed and her pretty quiet and comfortable life. She would miss being home, but it would be nice to go on an adventure. That was for sure. A sigh escaped her lips before she realized she had forgotten all about the passport. She threw the bags inside the car and hurried of to search for it in her apartment, and the airplane tickets. Why had she not thought about this earlier?

 

**Sophie**

Not sleeping made Sophie a zombie. Even the best hotel breakfast, which was one of Sophie’s favorite things in the whole wide world, and loads of coffee didn’t help her. Not even the company of two amazing women eating with her did help.

They had to hurry off to pick up Sophie’s bags and stuff though, so the three women quickly got into a cab. Anna followed them even when they went to the airport accompanied with Lincoln, Octavia and Cora. It felt weird, maybe in a good way. Sophie had troubles with understanding her feelings for her teammate. Having Raven by her side felt extremely good though. Still, she felt sad, how was she supposed to survive months without her woman? Sitting in the giant car, she worried about life, her girlfriend, what would happen when she would go on tour.

“I’ll be here when you come home again, babe,” Raven soothed, gently rubbing her girlfriend’s hand.

“I sure as hell hope so,” Sophie kissed Raven’s cheek, making Anna side-glance at the couple and gulp.

Why did Sophie feel guilty about it all? She hadn’t done anything wrong? Or had she been playing with the girl’s heart? The biggest question was ultimately, why did she care so much?

 

**Clarke**

Clarke and Lexa was not the first people to get to the airport, Anya was already there, and so were Monroe, Harper and their little daughter, Jessica. All of them said their hello’s before checking in their luggage and waiting patiently for the rest of the gang. They tried to have some kind of relaxed conversations, but the excitement and sadness of the people leaving left the atmosphere in the airport pretty heavy. Heavy with hollowness and separation.

A while later, the rest came, Lincoln and Octavia held hands with a small, smiling Cora. Sophie and Raven appeared holding each other behind their backs and then Anna was there, once again. Clarke didn’t understand why or how she felt about being there. Still, it was none of her business.

“Hello gang! Let’s check in and get to the gate,” Sophie said before embracing each and every person of the so called gang except Jessica who was a bit scared.

“Yeah, you don’t want to miss the plane,” Cora said with a sad smile. “I’m going to miss you, mama and dad.”

“We’ll miss you too,” Lexa answered before hugging her daughter.

Clarke felt a bang of sadness in her chest. She had only thought about how sad she would be without the commander of her heart. Not once had she imagined how hard it would be for Cora.

“So, you guys didn’t tell me where we’re starting off with this tour, my ticket please.”

The other band members looked meaningfully at each other before Lincoln handed Sophie her ticket and a voice said in the speakers.

“Travelers who are going to Sweden, please go to gate 2, your plane leaves ground in an hour.”

Clarke could see the color leave her friend’s face. This was the first time in a long time she could see Sophie’s strength and willpower leaving her. Going from the Shehulk to a scared 5-yearold.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” a small voice was heard from the redhead.

“Because, then you would have convinced us to not go there. We need to play there, it’s your country. We’ve got fans there as well," Anya said huskily.

Sophie turned into a ghost of a woman when she said goodbye to the people they were leaving behind. Never had Clarke hugged someone who had felt so hollow before. She felt sad for her friend, but no one could say it as good as Raven did when the band members left for their gate.

“She needs this, she really needs to sort her past out.”


	37. On the plane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The band members are finally getting on the plane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I love to hear what you think and I'm thrilled that so many people read this!
> 
> This chapter is going to be pretty angsty but there's some comfort as well. Hope you'll enjoy it! I might be able to update one more time this Weekend, since I'm off season and all.
> 
> XOXO

**Anna**

The tall woman could almost feel the pain her crush felt. She had no idea why Sophie loathed the idea of coming back to her native country again, but she could tell that she did.

Walking out of the airport with the other people dropping of their significant others made her realize that she was the oddity here. Or, the black sheep. Anna was not together with Sophie. She would never be, still, she followed her. Why did she? Why did she feel like she would follow the charming woman to the end of the world if she would ask her? Why did she feel so guilty about her own feelings?

Anna sighed as she thought about how much she really needed to talk about her feelings with someone. She had not been in the states for long, so she didn't have many friends here yet. Apparently, she couldn’t discuss her emotions with Sophie, or Raven for obvious reasons. Her teammates would probably not be the best peoploe to talk to either. They would only think it was a bad idea, because the two were playing in the same team and Anna would only be hurt. She had recently started at the police-station as an officer and didn’t know her colleagues yet so, she couldn’t talk to them. Only one choice was left then, Clarke. Even though it would be weird since she had been together with the woman of Anna's affection, she seemed to be the only person to talk to.

“Clarke, do you have a moment to spare?” Anna said, feeling her chest tighten.

“Sure, what’s up?”

Clarke followed her to a bench further away from the others. Her eyes widening in confusion about why the tall Swede would like to talk to her.

“How do you get over a person you know you can’t have?” Anna asked, feeling her own pain increasing.

“Well, you don’t…” Clarke thought for a while. “Until you find the right person, I think.”

"How do one know that the person is right then?"

"When you don't feel the pain from a broken heart anymore."

“I guess you’re right, thanks for the chat.”

Anna heaved a sigh, she had totally destroyed her own heart by letting Sophie get this close to her. Now, she would have to live with not getting any closer. Until she found someone who could take her pain away. How would that special someone even be able to get close to her? She had only place for one person in her heart.

 

**Lincoln**

Getting through the controls and everything went smoothly enough. Everyone seemed excited about the trip, except the usually talkative Sophie. She was silent until it was time to take a seat on the plane.

He thought he knew her, and he probably did better than most other people. Sometimes, Lincoln knew Sophie better than she did herself. He knew that and she knew that. They were kind of inseparable and had been since her break-up with Clarke years ago. The two of them had seats next to each other, Sophie by the window and Lincoln by the aisle. Lexa, Monroe and Anya were seated next to each other in the middle of the plane. Sophie almost shook as she slid down in her chair. A look of utter terror in her eyes. Lincoln got seated and put a strong arm around his friend. He knew what terrified her and why she was scared. They hadn’t been on tour in Sweden in two years and Sophie had tried really hard to not get gigs there. In time, it was inevitable though.

“What’s worst? That they would show up or that they wouldn’t show up?” He asked gently.

“I don’t know.”

“You know, your parents haven’t been to one of our concerts before. Why would they come now?”

“Because they’ve got their heads out of their asses?”

“I don’t think you’ll need to worry.”

“You know what? When I was a kid and had a concert or whatever, I always wished my parents would come see me. That they would be proud of me, see what I could accomplish. I didn’t care about everyone else coming, all I could think of was having them there,” a tear started to roll down her cheek.

“They didn’t? Ever?”

Lincoln felt a lump in his own throat, how could someone call themselves parents and treat their child like that? He knew that he and Lexa would do anything to support Cora in every possible way. They would always be there for her. Anything else was unthinkable, careless, dreadful. He made himself a promise to never be as Sophie's parents had been.

“No. Never.”

 

**Lexa**

The drummer was worried sick about her child even before the plane left ground. She was also sad for their singer, she had no clue whatsoever about why the woman hated her own country so much. Maybe, it wasn’t the country itself she hated? Lexa couldn’t let her curiosity die down, so she asked her neighbors.

“Guys, what’s up with…”

“Let’s just say that her parents where douchebags for real,” Monroe answered while Anya only nodded.

“Is she going to be okay?”

“Lincoln knows her better than anyone,” Anya said with her lips tightly pressed together. “Let’s leave it at that.”

Lexa couldn’t help but feel a bit shoved aside, like she wasn’t supposed to care so much about her friend. Or could they call each other friends? She had got the feeling that Sophie would be there for her no matter what, why shouldn’t she be there for her? One look over to the band members situated by the window made her change her mind though. Lincoln seemed to have the situation under control, which made Lexa’s heave a sigh of relief. Finally, she could sit back and relax as the plane would leave ground.

The next time she would be able to put her feet on real ground again, she would land in London only to change flight for Stockholm. Barely, had the plane started before her eyelids had closed and Lexa had started to drift off to the land of dreams where she was jumping around with Clarke and Cora. Never had she smiled this much in her sleep before.

 

**Clarke**

Indra was supposed to take care of Cora for the coming week, which meant that Raven and Octavia would get loads of time to move their stuff to Sophie and Lincoln’s house. Clarke had no idea if their partners knew about these plans, but they would probably not mind. They would probably do everything for their lovers.

As Clarke’s future, ex-roomies where roaming around packing boxes. Clarke started to get worried for real. Would Sophie be okay? Would Lexa? She was mostly worried for her ex though, since she knew how hard this was for her.

 

**(Flashback to approximately 6 years ago)**

The band had recently released their first album and was going on a summer-tour in Europe. Clarke followed them, she had nothing better to do during summer and she loved her girlfriend as well as the music they played. They had all been booked for an interview and Sophie’s parents were supposed to be there. Mostly because the album was pretty much about Sophie’s childhood and all. Probably, the interviewers wanted to hear the parents version's of things. The band and Clarke had had no trouble before the make-up room. Everyone was excited about the interview and the upcoming tour. Sophie squeezed her girlfriend’s hand now and again to gain some more confidence.

“You’ll be great babe,” Clarke said before pecking her on the cheek as they were ready to leave the room.

“Yeah, I hope so. Besides, you’re the first partner they’ll have met.”

“Really? That is just sad.”

“I know…”

Their conversation was cut short by a medium-sized woman barging into the room. Her eyes blood red and she smelled of alcohol. Following her was a slightly taller man who was unshaven and looked a bit like a hobo.

“You!” The woman pointed her finger at Sophie. “You’ve lied to the world about us. We were great parents!” A hiccough followed.

“No, you were an alcoholic bitch and the so called man right beside you were the workoholic number one.” Sophie said, her jaws clenching as were her fists.

“You need to pay us for these lies, you need to…”

“I don’t need to pay you shit! You’ve never been a part of my life and why should you start now? I’m in an amazing band with great friends and have met the most wonderful woman who makes me truly happy. All you care about is money.”

“Is that,” the woman looked confused for a moment before it hit her. “You really like women?”

The man wolf-whistled.

“You did well, nice one to have as a future daughter-in-law.” The woman elbowed him in his ribs.

“If you’re not paying, then maybe your slutty girlfriend would…”

At that Sophie saw red, Clarke felt hurt, but she knew that mean comments always hit closer to home for her girlfriend. This time, it might mean that she would spend several years in prison for murder.

“You are not allowed to call Clarke anything degrading at all. You treated me like crap during my own childhood. You will not talk to my better half like that. Actually, you will not talk to her or anyone of my friends ever again.”

Clarke started to pull her girlfriend to the door, trying to escape the utter debacle happening.

“Vi är inte en familj och har aldrig varit. Ni är inte värda mig och jag vill inte ha med er att göra längre.” Sophie didn’t even look back as she said that. “Ni är inte min familj. Jag har funnit min egen.”    

 

_Which translates to: We're no family and has never been. You are not worthy of me and I don't want anything to do with you anymore. You're not my family. I have found my own._

 

Sophie and Clarke left the room, the blonde giving her girlfriend a reassuring hug when they got out.

“I love you and you’ve been very brave.”

“I’m sorry you had to meet them.”

“No, it’s me who am sorry. One should not have to be family with such people.”

“Yeah, well. They’re not my family anymore. You are."

Clarke melted into the embrace with her girl. Never had she known someone could are this much for her.

**(Back to the present)**

 

A single tear was falling down Clarke’s cheek. She was extremely happy that her own mother had been so caring and loving. Not everyone had that luxury, apparently. Then she looked at a picture on her phone of Lexa. The best mother of them all. A smile tugging at her lips once again as she saw herself introducing her girlfriend to her own mother. She couldn't wait to introduce Lexa to Abby.


	38. Something in my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sophie and Lincoln have a moment
> 
> Or
> 
> When Raven and Octavia decides to move in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm on a roll right now, but can't promise when the next update will be! I'd love to hear what you guys think and I hope you'll love this chapter!
> 
> XOXO

**Sophie**

Feelings. So many emotions welling up inside. Tons of them. Tears streaming down her cheeks. All she wished for were things to numb them all. Alcohol or anything, Lincoln kept his arm around his friend. Forcing her to only drink soda, apparently alcohol wasn’t the solution to all of her problems. Even though alcohol was a solution, it wouldn’t help. All those years, Sophie had become a master of bottling up her own emotions. She felt like a volcano who had got an outburst.

“Why haven’t you talked about this more? Why keeping everything to yourself?” Lincoln said softly, handing her a napkin.

“Would you want to talk about something like this?”

“No, not really. We should probably talk more about these things.”

“We should.”

A moment of silence before they realized that the plane had left ground and they were on the way to England. Sophie felt hopeless and scared. She wished nothing more than to be accepted by her own biological parents, but she knew that would likely never happen. Her thoughts wandered to her cousin and his parents, would she be able to meet them? That would really make the trip worth it. She had missed them and felt a whole in her heart because she needed them back in her life. Why had they lost touch in the first place? Then memories of Felisa flooded into her brainstem. What if she would come to the meet and greet? What if? What the fuck would Sophie do then? They hadn’t met or had contact since Sophie left the country over seven years ago.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Lincoln said.

“What if Felisa gets to the meet and greet? I would probably die or something to be honest.”

“I thought you were over her? Now with Raven and all?”

“I’m a person who never gets over feelings for real. That is probably why my feelings always weigh me down.”

“I know, but you’ve got a big heart. We’ll be there for you, no matter what.”

“Thanks Linc, you’re the best!” Sophie hugged her friend and embraced his strength as her own. “How are you by the way?”

“I already miss my girls at home, but I’ll be fine and they’ll be fine. I’m pretty excited going on a tour again!”

He smiled brighter than the sun and Sophie felt her weights leave her a bit more. Her anxiety releasing the grip of her heart for now. For a moment she wondered how she could ever have lived without Lincoln in her life.

 

**Raven**

Raven and Octavia had busied themselves in the last couple of hours with packing boxes and starting to get them over into Sophie’s and Lincoln’s house. Clarke had helped, but the blonde seemed to have her thoughts somewhere else.

“How can you do things when knowing your life partners are hundreds of miles away?” Clarke asked before putting down a big plant in the living room in the house.

“That is probably why we do things, to keep our minds of how worried we are,” Octavia answered before hitting her foot on a table. “Shit!”

She started jumping around holding her foot, since they always removed their shoes walking into the home, it had probably hurt very much. Raven couldn’t help but smirk at her friend’s pain, it was a bit amusing seeing her jump around on one leg.

“Why should we be worried though? Plane accidents are not as common as car crashes. They are loyal and have each other. They’ll be fine,” Raven said putting down a box.

“I know that they are, but all their fans?” Clarke didn’t seem convinced.

“Stop worrying, it’ll be fine.”

Truth was, Raven was really scared to shit. She knew most of the bands’ fans were after one thing and one thing only, getting in their pants. Another thing she thought was that Sophie’s ex would go. Why wouldn’t she? The Pounder Grounders were famous for real now. They earned enough money on this tour and their albums to never have another “regular” work again.

“So, have you guys even talked about moving together or are you going to surprise your partners when they get back?”

“Um, well, we’ve had a discussion and I mean, I always stay here so what difference would it make?” Octavia said.

“Same here,” Raven said before regretting everything, what if Sophie wouldn’t like to move in with her?

Clarke only hummed before watching the time, apparently they should be in London by know. She got a call on Skype from her girlfriend that she put on speaker phone.

“Hi Clarke!” Lexa’s voice echoed inside the room.

“Hey babe, how’s it going?”

“The flight was okay, now were going to eat something before hitting the next plane. How’s it going back home?”

“Oh well, we’re missing you guys.”

“We’re missing you as well. But I’ve got to go now. I love you Clarke.”

“I love you too Lexa.”

Clarke’s face was burning and I couldn’t help but feel happy for her. She was very much in love with the tall brunette who were in another continent right now. I wished that Sophie would call me as well, but I guessed she wanted to talk later. Sighing, I returned to the unpacking of my stuff.


	39. Back to the land of IKEA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa remembers her trip with Costia
> 
> Or
> 
> The chapter when they finally get to Sweden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I really wanted you to get a new chapter as quickly as possible and I actually made it! Yay!
> 
> Thank you for your love and kudos, please let me know what you think. My favorite part of the day is to hear you guys out! You can either write to me here or on tmblr: metalqueen91, motivation is highly appreciated and makes it easier to write. :)
> 
> Have a great week! 
> 
> XOXO

**Lexa**

Lexa and her friends found a place to eat at the airport. It wasn't a particularly fance one, but it was good enough for hungry people.

They were pretty exhausted by the long flight so the green-eyed woman started to let her mind wander while she ate her steak and potatoes.

She missed Clarke, but she also missed Costia. Would she ever be able to only miss Clarke, or would she always be doomed with the feelings of loss for her wife. She isn’t your wife anymore Lexa, get over it, she thought to herself. Being at London airport made her heart-ache a bit extra. They had been there. Costia wished to see the world. Of course Lexa followed.

 

**(Flashback to over 5 years ago)**

Costia couldn’t stand still, she was tiptoeing all around their place as she sang and packed her bag. Her wife only watched, her eyes full of warmth for the crazy woman. They were packing for a trip to Europe. Firstly they were going to see London and then they would go to Paris and lastly Rome. They would fulfill one of Costia’s many dreams, she wanted to travel the world and experience everything one could. Lexa had planned their trip carefully so that they would get to see everything they wanted.

“Imagine the Eiffel tower! I can’t wait to stand on top of that amazing piece of architecture,” Lexa said while studying her wife.

“I know! I can’t wait to see the world with you!” Costia flung her arms around the taller woman, making them both melt together into the embrace.

“I have already seen the world.”

“You have?” She looked pretty shocked over Lexa’s statement.

“You are my world.”

That was the truth, in every sense of the meaning. For, Costia was Lexa’s world and before her. She shuddered at the memories before she was showered in wet kisses. That was always the reward when she was being romantic or something. Costia always planted quick, wet kisses wherever she could. Making Lexa blush and secretly loving it, even though she always said to stop.

They had been planning the trip for a while and surely Lexa was thrilled to see something new. She would still have her lady with her. There were also something worrisome with this trip, because it felt like the last one they would do together outside of the states. It was a ghastly and horrifying emotion which gripped Lexa by her chest. She did everything she could to shake it off. It didn’t work. She looked at the bags and back to her wife again, promising herself that she would do anything to remember every little piece of this trip. Even if she didn’t have the urge to actually get away. All she knew was that she would do anything for that woman.

**(Back to present)**

 

“You okay there Lexa?” Monroe asked while drinking her soda from the straw.

Lexa shook her head in confusion and returned to the reality. The reality that Costia would never be a part of anymore. The two of them had sat there, on this particular airport and drunk beer and for Costia’s part, wine. Both of them so bubbly and full of life. Now, only one of them was alive. The brunette sighed.

“Not really, me and my…me and Costia, we were here years ago. It’s still painful.” She stirred with her straw in the glass. “Do you guys think it will ever be easier?”

“Yes, with time you will be able to think past the pain and remember the happiness,” Anya said, her look unreadable.

“She’s probably right, and hey, you’ve got Clarke now! Hasn’t she brightened your life?” Sophie said.

“Of course, she has brought joy to my life once again. Or, well, Cora had before her, but you know what I mean.”

 

**Sophie**

It was now 12 PM back home and the plane from London had landed in Stockholm-Arlanda airport. Sophie’s nerves had calmed down a bit after talking and joking with her friends. Some sweets had also helped, or a large intake of chocolate to be more precise.

“So, Lexa, I was thinking, how did it feel being married?” Anya asked out of the blue as we descended the plane.

“Awesome, being together with your best friend. Waking up together, getting to sleep together. We could talk about everything and be part of each other’s lives all the time.”

“Would you want to do it again?” Lincoln asked.

“Definitely! But I don’t think Clarke is the marrying type.”

“D’uh! She was the one who proposed to me, remember?” Sophie said, a fond smile spreading all over her face. “I remember how adorable she was deciding everything, it had to be perfect.”

“I imagine she was turning into a bridezilla?” Lexa joked.

“Yeah, but a really cute one though.”

“So how did you two meet?”

“Like, me and Clarke?”

“Yes, you.”

“I moved in earlier to my college dorm room, so did she. We shared a room and well, I couldn’t help but think my roommate was adorable. I fell in love with her and she with me. A story for another time I think.”

“How long did you say you were single after your relationship with Felisa, before you met Clarke?” Lincoln teased.

“I don’t know. A couple of months.”

“And you guys were together for years.”

“Yes, but what can I say? I’m made for seeing beautiful naked women!” Sophie laughed a bit.

“That, I think my friend, is why porn was invented,” Anya said making everyone laugh.

“What is this porn and how could one acquire it?” Sophie smiled and everyone continued laughing.

The redhead felt all her nervousness decreasing and being exchanged for happiness and anticipation. She was after all in her country. This was where she was born. This was where she had grown up. This was where she had learnt to take care of herself, with help from others. Having these four people with her on this trip meant more to her than she could possibly show or tell them. She gave each and every one of her friends an appreciative smile and nod before they went to get their bags.

When they reached the entrance, they had been told they would be picked up and taken to their hotel. It was about 7 AM in the morning by now in Sweden. The five of them thought it was a bit weird that they didn’t know who were going to pick them up. That was until Sophie heard a familiar voice and froze solid. She had never anticipated to hear that voice ever again.

“Hey Sophie, nice to see you again.”

She dared not to turn around, because she knew her walls would break for real. The tour would probably have to be cancelled. This person, was not someone she had expected to see ever again, even though she had hoped she would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about the cliffhanger! It wasn't my intention at first but, it was better this way! *Evil laugh* Just kidding, I will try to write the next chapter as soon as possible!


	40. Why are you here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter when you get to know who the mystery person on the airport is
> 
> Or
> 
> Shit is going down and even I didn't expect this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I really wanted to make the update the other day, but I've been a really busy girl! A friend of mine is going to the States soon and wanted to hang out one last time before her trip, work and working-out has also been in the way for my writing. Here it is though, and I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> This is the 40:th chapter and I have to be honest to you guys, I never even imagined that this story would be this long when I started. Still have many more chapters anyway, so no worries!
> 
> XOXO

**Lincoln**

He cursed at the irony and the situation as he saw his best friend freeze into a icicle of sorts. Lincoln also cursed the planning and their manager, whom they didn’t have, except for the fact that Anya was kind of their manager. She looked as surprised as the rest of them, probably the bosses of their record label had booked guidance without her knowledge. Bags dropped to the floor and redhead became white-faced in a matter of seconds.

In front of them was a woman in a black business suit and a pencil skirt. Her hair was of an earthy brown and her eyes matching her hair. She looked smart in a pair of high heels, but her hair was in a messy bun and she seemed to wear natural make-up. How Lincoln saw that was a mystery even to him. The woman seemed to be around their age and had an olive colored skin, probably Italian. He begged his brain cells to start working. Who was this woman? Why was she here and why had Sophie reacted like this when seeing her. Finally, he put two and two together. It must be Felisa, the fucktard who had hurt his friend. The woman who seemingly didn’t believe in long distance relationships and who had dumped Sophie because she wanted to focus on her horses. Lincoln felt his throat vibrate from a small growl and his fists clenching as he started to walk toward the Italian woman. His eyes firing sparks as he moved. Lexa reacted quickly and stopped him before he made a scene and they would not be able to perform on their tour. He didn’t give a fuck though. The only thought was of him paying back this woman who had hurt someone so nice and loving.

Monroe and Anya were standing around looking a bit guilty and awkward, Lexa still held on to Lincoln and pushed him back. Felisa and Sophie where only staring at each other. The scene must have been extremely comic, if it hadn’t been for real.

“Felisa.” Was the only word sounding from Sophie’s lips.

She looked a bit like a fish on the shore. Her lips moving but no noise coming out. The Italian woman moved closer to her, helping her pick up the bags. A sad look in her eyes.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you like this.” Felisa didn’t seem to notice anyone else, Sophie neither.

“I’m…well…I don’t know what to…” Sophie tried to clear her throat, her eyes had turned blank as did Felisa’s.

“I really am sorry, I should have said something.” She stretched out the bags to Sophie who didn’t care about them.

One look into her first love’s eyes and then she leaned in for a hug. They seemed like they wanted to squeeze each other like ketchup bottles or something because they didn’t seem to let go. The other band members scratched their heads and wondered what the fuck was happening. Lincoln got a bad feeling about this, a really bad feeling and he had no idea of why.

 

**Sophie**

So many feelings. Utter confusion was probably the biggest one, relief, sadness and a mixture of every sensation ever would probably be the best description for this moment. The ex she had done everything to get over. The first love she had ever had and they had lost touch. They had not spoken a word in, how many years was it again? A warmth was spreading and Sophie didn’t want to let go, but she had to. She had a new girlfriend now, someone she truly loved and who loved her back.

“So, um…Guys, this is Felisa. We used to date.”

“We lived together, mia bellissima. I think it went deeper than dating.” She turned red-faced when she noticed what she had said. “Fanculo!”

Everyone seemed a bit tense, like they didn’t know what to do with themselves. Sophie felt confused. The woman had clearly ditched her years ago, but still, she was there at the airport to meet her? Why? A weird prickling feeling was crawling under her skin by now. It was not a good feeling, because she finally remembered some things she had done as well. Felisa hadn't been the only one of them messing up.

“I am sent here by your record label’s manager. You needed someone who knows Europe and I’ve been around to about every country you are going to visit. I am supposed to make your visit comfortable and yeah, you can read the sign here.”

Felisa handed her former lover a paper written in Swedish saying everything the Italian woman just said, but more thoroughly.

“You’re not even kidding, it’s signed by the manager and got stamps and everything. We seem to be in need of a new record label after this tour, huh?” Sophie said, looking at her friends. “That doesn’t explain why you took the job though. Why you? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I needed a job and I’ve been a guide for sometime now. But most of all, I really wanted to meet you again. I’ve missed you, even after what you’ve done.”

“What I’ve done?” Sophie raised her voice, which made Felisa sign that they should follow her out of the airport.

“Can we talk a bit more private? Like in the limo waiting for you to go to your hotel? And yes, I’m not the only one who wanted to end things. Don’t you dare put the whole blame on me!”

 

Everyone put their bags and sat down in a fancy black limousine. Three of the people seemed to crawl out of their own skins, because they didn’t want to hear the inevitable conversation between the two previous love-birds. “You where the one breaking up after so many years without a good reason. Like it didn’t mean anything!” Sophie said her hair flying everywhere in her sudden outburst of anger.

“It wasn’t without reason! You said to me it would be hard to keep it in your pants for so long. I actually volunteered to come visit you in the states!”

“I don’t remember that…”

“It’s so typical you to repress bad memories. We fought about your trip. I wanted to support you but was so scared to lose you that I rather let you go.”

“Oh…and now I feel like a dick.”

“What do you mean, hard?” Felisa snorted.

“No, I mean…”

“Oh, by the way, I recognize these friends of yours…They’re from that party right?”

“Oh shit…”

“What party?” Lincoln joined their conversation by now, maybe trying to stand up for his friend.

“Yeah, I remember that time! It was hilarious!” Monroe jumped in as well. “It was a no men allowed party L, you were probably hanging with Bells and Monty then.”

“I had actually forgotten that…We had recently broke up, I got to the States and we actually had some contact through Skype and stuff. Then I was at this party, it was pretty early in…”

“A month after our break-up, yeah.”

“Then I got totally shit-faced and made out with every girl on the party.”

“And you sent me pics with you making out with these two people. How’d you think I felt about that?”

“Um, I had apparently erased all of this, because I couldn’t find it the morning after and forgot that I was a douche…”

“I didn’t break us Sophie, you did. I wanted to give us another chance.”

“I’m sorry for hurting you, but I was really hurt by your breaking up with me.”

“I’m sorry too.”

They locked gazes for a second before the both of them looked away. Another uncomfortable silence occurring, before Anya spoke up.

“So, a limo? Is there some bubbly water in here?”

Champagne bottles where opened and the tension inside of the car eased up. Making everyone a bit more excited about the tour once again. Maybe, Sophie needed this closure and Felisa as well. Everything might work out in the end. Still, the redhead felt like something in her stomach started to brew once again. Feelings so well hidden she didn’t know them anymore. This trip would probably not go easy in anyway at all.


	41. My own worst enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The band is being interviewed
> 
> Or
> 
> Sophie is tearing up over old feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Another chapter which is longer than usual! I hope you'll like it. I got pretty inspired, so I hope this inspiration is going to stay.
> 
> As usual I'd love to thank everyone for your comments and your love, it really makes my day! 
> 
> TW: Angst
> 
> XOXO

**Clarke**

Her girlfriend had Skyped her almost immediately when they got to the hotel. She had talked about how the flight went well and everything. Still, Clarke couldn’t help but feel that there were some things that Lexa left out of her story. She didn’t dwell on the thought anyway.

 

It was morning for her, the day after the band left the country. Clarke, Raven and Octavia sat in the couch watching a live interview with the band. They had managed, through Raven, to see it from a Swedish tv-channel and where excited. The three of them almost jumping in their seats at the thought of seeing their significant others on the screen. Raven had the honor to push the button and then they saw the five members sitting on a gigantic couch. They were all dressed in band T:s and ripped jeans. Clarke felt her heart jump at the sight of Lexa with her curly hair all messy and her face with heavy make-up on. Damn, she looked sexy in everything.

“I would like to thank you guys in The Pounder Grounders for coming here today,” A blonde woman who was interviewing them said.

“Thank you for having us,” Sophie answered while the others nodded.

Raven made a comment on how sexy her girlfriend was and how good her voice sounded on air. Octavia only drooled over Lincoln’s tight jeans and Clarke was transfixed by Lexa. She didn’t seem to want to respond, apparently, Sophie was the frontwoman. Though, anyone could see that it was Lexa who commanded it all. She was their true leader.

“So, this is your first gig in Sweden in a long time,” the journalist continued. “Is there a special reason for it?”

“Yeah, there has been loads of reasons. All of them pretty much personal. But now, they’ve been taken care of and we’re here again.”

“Congratulations for having your new album sell platina. What is it that make you guys so successful?”

“Thank you! Well, we write songs and lyrics from our hearts. We pour our souls into it and reveal our deepest feelings. I think that, passion and determination is to thank for our success.”

“What inspired you for this album?”

“My amazing girlfriend inspired me, I guess that is why it’s a bit more romantic than and not as angry as our earlier records,” Sophie looked to Lexa.

“As well as my wonderful girlfriend inspired me, we worked well together with the lyrics.”

All five drank some water at the same time, apparently it was rather dry for their mouths to be in television. Just as the interviewer asked:

“I guess your girl used to be Sophie’s fiancée, am I correctly informed?” All five spitted out the water they newly drank and Clarke felt her own perspiration increase.

How the hell did that woman know about her and Lexa or her and Sophie? That was when she remembered that the same woman was supposed to interview them a few years ago. Also, there had been paparazzi’s around. Clarke hadn’t noticed them much, but the band members had started to appear on magazines and stuff pretty frequently lately. Mostly pictures from when everyone walked around and went grocery shopping or something else less luxurious.

“Yes, so I have been informed as well,” Lexa gritted her teeth before Sophie could jump in.

“Well, things happen and one can never foresee the future right? I have found the one for me and she has found the one for her. I think there had been fans who had sent in questions?”

The woman hosting the show looked pretty baffled, but caught on quickly. Looking on some flashcards in her hands.

“Well, many fans have written to us, but we can unfortunately not ask you every question. You will have one each. We’ll begin with you Sophie. "Hi Sophie! I am a fan of yours since before you became famous. I have a problem, you see, I used to be in love with this girl before. We moved apart and now I have seen her in the first time in like forever. Apparently, our feelings for each other have only grown stronger. Do you believe we can work this out and make it work?"”

“Hell yeah! If you guys love each other it’s always worth a shot. Love is the most powerful feeling, don’t forget that!”

“Moving on to Monroe! "Hi M! You are the greatest gender fluid person I know and you are my idol. How did you know that you wanted to be in a band?"”

“Um, that was pretty interesting…I had friends who played instruments and I did too, so, here we are.”

“Anya, "hi there mysterious woman! I have had a crush on you for ages and I don’t know if you could ever fall for me. Still, I wonder why you’ve never seen on a date or anything."”

“Um, I’ve probably never met the right person. Besides, I like to be private.” Anya frowned at the question.

“"Lincoln! How do one become as cool as you are?"”

“Eat healthy foods, hang around cool people and just be yourself, it worked for me.”

“Last but not least, Lexa. "Hi Lexa! How did you get into the band?"”

“I got to know Sophie and she said they needed a new member, so here I am!”

The three people in the couch in the States wondered if someone had been joking with them. It had to be the worst interview they ever saw. The band truly needed a manager who could check these things out before.

 

**Lexa**

The interview was horrible and they all blamed the record label for not making sure that things were set up perfectly. Still, they had a chance to save their reputation. They were going to perform a song in the studio, only one song. It had taken them a long time to decide which one, but they had stuck to one Lexa had written about Clarke. It was acoustic and intense and truly passionate. Sophie’s raspy voice started it off with a low pace.

“When you’re near me babe, I feel like I’m falling down. Until you pick me up, Into your embrace. Then I know that I, Finally have come home.”

Lexa’s more exquisite and fragile voice took over in the refrain:

“You’re my world and I’ll forever be yours. I can never imagine how I got so lucky. You saved me from the darkness and my own black soul. I want to thank you, for being mine. I want to thank you, for taking me home”.

They continued the song with a slow pace, and got into a chorus and higher pitch at the end. It was like everyone in the studio got chills because they stared at the band in awe. Their phones above their heads while waving in rhythm to the song. Afterwards they got thanked with rumbling applause and some flowers from the hostess.

Clarke had sent Lexa a heart emoji on Skype and thanked her for the wonderful performance and the song she had written about her. Lexa sent her a short loving response before the band hopped into the limo with Felisa again.

“I’m so sorry for the terrible interview, but it was the Label who set it up. You guys really need a manager.”

“We sure do, then we would be able to solely focus on the music,” Sophie answered without looking into dark eyes.

“Yeah, and I’m going to quit my job when we get back. When we’re not on tour I’d like to be able to be with my family,” Lincoln said before opening a bottle of champagne. “It’s a release party for the album here in Sweden tonight right?”

“It sure is, and tomorrow is the gig. Then we’re going to Finland, Norway, Denmark, Germany…I don’t have them all memorized in my head unfortunately,” Felisa handed out some glassware to everyone. “Here’s to you guys!”

“How long will we have in the hotel before we have to get away tonight?” Sophie asked, careful as not to look at her former lover.

Lexa got chills down her own spine for them. She knew things could easily get screwed up and she hoped Sophie wasn’t stupid enough to fall back into Felisa’s arms. The redhead and the mechanic was made for each other, just as Lexa and Clarke. Her thoughts drifted away to her girlfriend. She missed her deeply and wondered how she would be able to focus on something else at all?

 

**Sophie**

Panic was flooding inside her body when she got back into the hotel. She desperately needed to speak to someone. All other members of the band were going to get some well needed sleep. Before they would be getting fixed up before the party.

The redhead headed for the hotel’s gym. All alone in there with all the gear she could dream on, but even that didn’t help. She sat down to do some bicep’s curls, before she even started she broke down. Tears streaming down her cheeks. How could she feel so empty but yet so full? How could all the feelings from what felt like another time come back? How could she even handle it all? She put the weights back and picked up her phone, still sobbing, she called Raven on Skype.

“Hey honey!” sniffles through the phone.

“Hi babe! Something happened?”

“Yeah, you got a minute to talk?”

“No, sorry, we’ve got our asses full of work here. Can’t we take it later?”

“But I need to talk to you Raven? Please?”

“Can’t you call Clarke?” Sophie stared at the phone in despair.

Did her girlfriend not notice how urgent it was? Did she not hear her? Did she not care?

“But, I want you…”

“Sorry, I’ll call you later.”

“That’s not necessary,” Sophie hang up, really frustrated with her significant other.

A deep breath and then she called Clarke.

“Hi S, what’s up?”

“You got a minute?”

“No, can’t say I do, what’s it about?”

“I’ll call someone else then.”

She was about to throw her phone into one of the glass mirrors. There had been a time where everyone had seemed to abandon her. Had she reached that point once again? Her mind was spinning and she pondered for a moment whom she could call, someone who would have time to talk. She really needed to get her feelings sorted out. Repressing them was her past and it hadn’t worked out. One last sigh before making one last try. If this person didn’t have time, she thought about going to the bar and drink her problems away.

 

**Anna**

A call on Skype, she was happy she had recently gotten home from work. Looking at the screen, she thought her eyes deceived her. Sophie, why would she call?

“Anna here,” she answered even though it was obvious of whom responded to the call.

“Hi Anna! You've got a minute?”

Sophie was literally sobbing in the other end and Anna couldn’t find it in herself to say no to her. If the woman had asked her to chop off her hand, she would probably do it. The raspy voice in the other end made her mind spin and her heart beating faster.

“I’ve always got time for you.”

“Thank God! I thought I was all alone again.” 

Anna wanted to answer that her crush would never be alone again. That she would always have her. She had the words on her tongue but kept it to herself.

“What about your band? Raven? Clarke?” A sigh from the other end, before more weeping ensued.

“My band members are taking power naps and my girlfriend as well as one of my closest friends, didn’t have time.”

It kind of broke Anna’s heart to hear that the woman of her affection had been so thoroughly let down when she needed it the most. Some weird feeling of happiness was spreading in Anna’s chest. Sophie thought of her, she actually chose to call her when all else failed. That must have meant something, right?

“Oh, that sounds lonely. You don’t sound too good. Talk to me.”

Anna sat down in her couch as her cat jumped up to curl into her lap. She absentmindedly started to pet him in the same time she wished she could run her fingers through Sophie’s think hair.

“You know the girl I was together with here in Sweden.”

“Yeah, I think you’ve mentioned her.”

Ice, it felt like ice in her entire body by now. More competition. More women to be jealous of because they got to be close to the woman she loved.

“She is our tour guide here and, well, it wasn’t entirely because of her we ended really.”

“Ouch, so how do you feel about it all?”

The police officer scolded herself for even asking. She feared the answer and she wanted the world to disappear for a while, leaving her with her favorite woman. Something that would never happen and she was still sad for it.

“I don’t know at all. I am in love with Raven…” So I noticed Anna thought. “…I can’t go back to what was before. I’ve got to talk to her right?”

“Raven?”

“No, Felisa? Tell her that we can’t be together again.”

“Do you really think that she wants to go back together with you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Jeez, woman. You really leave a trail of broken hearts wherever you go aren’t you?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

At least the crying in the other end has stopped by now. Maybe, all her friend needed was to talk about things. Now, she only sounded curious and bewildered.

“Sorry, I don’t know what slipped into me. You’d probably have to talk to her, yes.”

“Thank you, once again. This means so much that you could actually talk to me.”

“Anytime, now I’ve got to go.” Anna sighed before realizing that she was being insensitive. “Are you okay now?”

“Yes, and you?”

“I’ll manage. I don’t have another choice.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Repressing feelings are not a good way to handle them, trust me, I know.”

“I’ve got a cat. I’ll talk to him if I need to.”

“Okay, I’m here if you need me. Talk to you later.”

“Yeah, see you!”

A nagging feeling of being incomplete started gnawing inside of her. Anna needed the strong woman now. Fuck, she was screwed. Those feelings where anything but good for her. Maybe, she would need to fix a date with someone. That would help her get over the perfectly curved ass and crooked smile.

Who was she even kidding? She turned on the TV and tried to shake the uneasy feeling who had taken a hold of her away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song lyrics are actually written by me this time!


	42. Troubled mechanic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven is a mess
> 
> Or
> 
> She regrets not talking to Sophie and tries to call her anyway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm so sorry for the late update, once again. I guess I can't promise you when to update. I am really happy that so many people seem to enjoy this work and your comments make my days brighter.
> 
> I've had loads on my mind lately, my ex is getting her stuff and I've had loads of things to do and shit. Hopefully I can update more often now things are getting better privately. Did I tell you Stockholm Pride was last Weekend and it was the best Weekend of the year, as usual?
> 
> XOXO

**Raven**

It had been a shitty day at work this far. Too many cars and too many owners who needed their vehicles right then and there. Not one of them had easy to fix problems and Raven was soaked with oil from the last car she had tried to fix. It was a leak from the turbo and she couldn’t find the reason for it. She sighed before she threw the wrench back into the toolbox. Her mind wasn’t in it today. Raven usually knew the problem with the car and could fix anything.

Now, her mind was on her girlfriend. She was really distraught, still, she didn’t make time for her to talk about something. What was that something anyway?

A customer strode closer to the tanned woman and asked her why the car hadn’t been fixed yet. She was too close to flip him off before taking a break, but she stopped herself. Only answering that it takes some time to fix a problem, especially when one couldn’t find it right away. Then she went to get herself a nice cup off machine coffee, more like hot water with some caffeine.

Her manager noticed that she seemed a bit low and not into it right now. Therefore, she was allowed a break even though they had work up their asses. Raven brought her phone up and called her girlfriend on Skype. She desperately needed to talk to her, how could she have said no in the first place? Sophie sounded really heartbroken. Still, she let work come first. Oh, Raven, you fucked up, she thought to herself. The woman took a long look at the phone and heard the buzzing before she put the phone to her ear.

“Hi babe!” She said when the other side had picked up.

“Oh, she answered!” A voice said from the other end that Raven didn’t recognize.

It gave her the creeps, who was this fucking woman and why did she answer her lover’s call?

“Hi honey!” A rather tipsy Sophie said after a while. “It was our guide who helped me getting the call. I might have, um, a problem with controlling my body right now.”

“It means that the champagne has gone straight to her brain!” Lincoln laughed in the background.

“Oh, please! Nothing is straight in that one!” Anya joked back and Raven heard loads of chuckles through the phone.

“Well, love, now is not the best time to talk. Can I call you tomorrow?”

“Why? Where are you?”

“We’re in the limo and going for a release party.”

“Oh, okay. Have fun!” Raven felt those words leaving a bitter taste in her mouth, she didn’t mean them, she wanted to talk to her.

“You too! Love you Raven!” Some giggles were heard from her friends. “Felisa, are you refilling my glass again?”

Now the hairs on Raven's body rose. Felisa was a name she would recognize. It was not a common name in Sweden. She got really terrified by now, what was it really Sophie wanted to talk about earlier?

“Love you too Sophie, I’ll talk to you later.”

As they hang up Raven regretted not talking to her in the first place. What if she would be partying with her ex right now? The woman that made her still warm after all those years apart? Raven knew Sophie was not one to let feelings go, especially romantic feelings. 

“Fuck my life!” Raven shouted into the empty break-room and downed her coffee before returning to the worthless pieces of junk out in the workshop.

All she really wanted to do, was go to Sweden and give Felisa the bitch-slap of her life. How dared she return to Sophie's life?

 

 

**Clarke**

Since Raven had to work over-time, Clarke brought some mac and cheese for her friend. A hangry Raven was anything but funny to be around and would probably break more cars than fix them.

The blonde was greeted by a greasy and agitated tanned woman by the entrance of the workshop.

“What took you so long?” The mechanic asked her friend.

“I had to actually buy this and get here from school, so please don’t be mad at me. I’ve got a class in another hour, so I better go!”

“No, please! Did you talk to Sophie?”

“No," Clarke thought for a while. "Maybe Anna did.”

“Do you have her number?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Can you call her?”

“And ask her what exactly?”

“What Sophie wanted to talk about.”

“M’kay.” Clarke sighed before pressing the button and preparing for, she didn’t exactly know what she was preparing for.

“Anna here,” the person in the other end answered.

“Hi Anna, it’s Clarke.”

“I could see that,” Clarke face palmed herself at the obvious choice of words.

“So, um, how’s everything?”

“Could be better, and you?”

“Pretty much the same.”

“Cut to the case Clarke, why did you call?”

“I wondered if Sophie called you?”

“Yeah, neither you nor Raven had time so she called me.”

“What was it that she wanted to talk about?”

“The fact that her ex is their tour guide and shit on their tour and apparently it wasn’t entirely Felisa’s fault they broke up. You guys should really have talked to her. She was fucking devastated. Now, I need to get to work. Bye!”

Clarke had trouble believing how rude Anna had been, but she could understand it as well. She knew the woman had feelings for Sophie and cared deeply about the charming Swede. Raven’s eyes where big as could be when the blonde turned to look at her.

“Felisa is their tourguide…and it wasn’t only her fault they broke up…”

“But, Sophie said…”

“You know damn well she shuts memories out when they are too painful right?”

“That is true.”

“This will be a fucking mess, won’t it?”

“Oh my fucking God!” Raven took a deep breath to compose herself. “I trust her, she wouldn’t do anything, right?”

“Who says Felisa won’t try?”

Clarke got a nasty feeling in her guts about the whole situation. She knew Sophie pretty well, but she didn't know the Italian woman who had played a big part in her earlier life. Only one thought ran through the blonde's head, and that was of how much things would get fucked up. She really feared for the worst, but hoped for the best.

"I know, if I had been her...I wouldn't want to let Sophie go," Raven slouched down on the steps outside.

"Who would? She is a remarkable young woman and is capable of handling herself."

"You sound like your mom right now."

"I know, that was some of the best things she said about her, when we were, "friends"..." Clarke sat down beside Raven.

"Thank you, by the way. For coming here, I needed it!"

"No problem, now, get inside and fix those vehicles, will you?"

The two friends hugged before saying their goodbyes. Clarke was thankful that Raven was still in the country, she wouldn't know what to do without her.


	43. Release party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit's going down again
> 
> Or
> 
> The release party when two people seem to become a little too close...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I felt inspired today and had some time to spare, so here's another chapter!
> 
> I hope you'll have a great Weekend!
> 
> No one has seen this coming, or have they?
> 
> XOXO

**Lexa**

They were now in a fancy nightclub, getting drinks and talking to very important people.

All Lexa could think about though, was her girlfriend. The blonde woman with the big heart who were miles away.

The band was staying together, except for Sophie, who were hanging around Felisa. They seemed to get along pretty well. Getting drinks for each other, talking, laughing and went to the bathroom together. She didn’t know if they went to actually do what one is supposed to do there or not, but Lexa didn’t want to prey. Only a little bit.

“So, what’s the deal there?” Monroe asked the other three members as they nodded to the two tipsy exes.

“No idea, but it doesn’t look too good,” Lincoln said in a dark voice, his eyes were kind of flaming in anger, but Lexa wasn’t sure her eyesight was the best by this time.

They stood there enjoying their drinks and listening to the music playing, obviously it was their new album. It was really good and Lexa was proud that they managed to do such a great work together. She felt at home with her band members, something she thought would take some time to feel, but no.

Sophie came strutting to her band members after a while and asked them if they wanted to dance. Everyone looked like they had been struck by lightning. Dance to metalcore? She must have been joking. She was though, Felisa and Sophie joined in the mosh pit and looked like they were having the time of their lives. Jumping around, looking like to giant bunnies who couldn’t keep still. Lexa laughed to herself before Lincoln nudged her.

“You think we should call Raven?”

“Why?”

The people in the mosh pit had stopped their jumping and Lexa couldn’t see what Lincoln meant.

“Because, they are giving each other the look!”

“What look?”

“Like they are going to kiss each other!”

He was right. The redhead and the Italian woman was standing inches apart, their gazes seemingly shifting from the other’s eyes to their lips. Lexa swore before she yelled Sophie’s name. The woman jumped and smiled to her friends before leaving a stunned Felisa in front of the provisory stage.

“So, um, should we say something or what?” Sophie said to her friends before embracing Anya who seemed pretty uncomfortable.

“About?” Monroe smirked.

“Our new album and shit? The reason why people are here?”

 

**Lincoln**

After they greeted everyone and thanked people for coming, the band kind of dispersed. The five of them talking with new, interesting people. Except for Sophie, she was still glued to Felisa, or the other way around. He didn’t know for sure. There was one thought replaying in his mind and that was of if his friend would be unfaithful. The friend he had known for years and who hated people crushing other people’s hearts. How would he react? What should he really do right now to stop it?

The executive of the Label was talking to the muscly guy, but he wasn’t really into it. He felt lost in all the bureaucracy the guy was talking about. Until, the guy asked if they shouldn’t perform a song or two? Since they were there for them anyway. Lincoln only answered that they were too drunk. Sophie walked past them by then and was thrilled by the idea.

Therefore, they set up. Checked if every instrument was in order and Sophie drank some water to clear her mind a bit.

When they started playing, everyone in the audience started to head bang and looked extremely happy. They really loved the band and Lincoln couldn’t help himself from feeling his chest swelling with pride. He was a part of something big. Something, fantastic and life-changing. For a moment he checked to see if his band members were as joyful as him and they really were. Sophie were jumping around and looking badass, the others were doing their stuff and looking badass. Lincoln himself felt pretty badass as well.

Until he looked down to the audience and saw a pair of dark eyes eyeing his friend extremely close. Like the woman owning them wanted to eat the woman alive. That was not a good sign. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder if his woman would be as attracted to him while performing. Would Octavia stand there and look like she would eat him alive? He sighed to himself and let the thought hang in the air. Now, he needed to concentrate. There was pretty much blood still in his alcohol system, but it wasn’t the best match with performing.

 

When the performance had been taken care of and people went back to only partying, Sophie and Felisa were embracing each other. Sophie sobbing and not looking like she wanted to stay. The other friends were still having a good time and Lincoln didn’t want to leave yet. He had found a pretty cool dude to talk to.

Felisa walked up to them while Sophie was barely clinging on to her shoulder. Damn, the redhead was drunk.

“Um, I’m taking her back to the hotel room. You guys can stay here for as long as you’d like, but remember you’ve got a gig tomorrow.”

All four went completely silent as they watched the two women leave the building. Lincoln felt chills down his spine as he turned to the other people.

“We really need to call Raven now, won’t we?”

“No, I’ll call Clarke. I think that’s a better idea. Besides, we don’t know if they will do anything,” Lexa gave her friend a stern look before she picked up her phone.

“Hi Clarke! Sorry for calling like this, but…There’s something I need to tell you!”

 

**Sophie**

A hangover from hell. Her head was literally thumping and she saw stars even though her eyes were closed. She cursed to herself and wondered why she had drank so much. Then she realized that most of the night before was a blur. She didn’t remember anything, not since they had played at their party. She was craving a cup of real coffee right now and ideally a big fucking hamburger. That would have been nice. Maybe a coke as well, maybe anything as well. Most of all, she wanted Raven by her side. With that woman by her side, she could take on the world, no matter how hangover.

A content sigh slipped from her lips as she was taking in how soft and warm the hotel bed was. She didn’t remember the bed she lay in for a couple of minutes earlier to be that soft. Then she thought about the bed at home, it was still better. Maybe because Raven was sleeping in it as well.

Sophie moved to lay on the side and felt a soft and strong arm pull her closer from behind. Was she the little spoon now? Was this Monroe or what the fuck did happen last night? Then she remembered the scent from what felt like another life. It was a mix of raspberries, hay and roses. She almost didn’t dare to open her eyes, but she did and rolled around only to see a smiling Felisa looking at her.

“Buongiorno, bella ragazza!”

Sophie’s every muscle got tensed and she wanted to scream. What nightmare had she woken up to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come shout at me on Tumblr: Metalqueen91 and tell me what you think of this chapter.


	44. Got to have faith right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven gets to know that something has happened in Sweden
> 
> Or
> 
> Raven gets over to Anna's place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! This has to be a record in late updates for me! I'm terribly sorry about that, but I've had loads of stuff to do lately. My ex has started getting her stuff from my apartment and I've started dating a wonderful girl. So, yeah, been busy with life. 
> 
> I surely hope to be able to update more frequently, but I can't promise you anything. Anyway, here's a new chapter. I hope you'll like it!
> 
> XOXO

**Raven**

Raven had recently gotten home to the big house after the hard day at work. It felt so empty, almost echoing by the lack of people inside of it. She felt an uneasy quiver from the emptiness. THe house was nothing like she had started to get to know those walls, filled with people, laughter and love. All there was right now was her heavy heart and the pressuring loneliness.

Octavia had called her and said there where leftovers in the fridge. How weird it felt being in that house now. No one but herself there. Raven started to remember all the times she had felt alone before she and Sophie got together. That sensation hit her hard again. The crippling feeling of being all by herself, without anyone caring. She dried a tear from her eye before taking a long hot shower to get away all the dirt from her work. All her fears, all the stress from her co-workers and customers. God, she really wanted to kick some people in the nuts that day.

After the shower, she found a container filled with lasagna in the fridge. With it, there was a little note from Octavia saying it was food that Sophie had made before taking the flight. Apparently they had a gigantic freezer in the ginormous kitchen, filled with stuff the redhead had prepared before they left. Was there something her woman hadn't thought of?

While her dinner was in the microwave, Raven couldn’t help herself from feeling the emptiness in her chest being replaced with warmth. A nurturing feeling by the thought of her loved one. She looked for ketchup in the fridge, but could hear Sophie’s voice ringing in her head:

“You can’t ruin lasagna with that! Use parmesan if you want to add some taste!”

Yeah, that would have been what she would say about it, Raven thought.

She continued to look for said cheese instead and prepared to sit down in front of the TV, watching a funny series or something while eating. Some candles got lit and she felt much better about life in general. While the food was prepared and she sat down in the sofa, she got a text from Clarke.

**_Clarke Griffin: Um, can I call u?_ **

Raven scratched her head and felt her mood drop in an instant. But she took a bite of the divine lasagna that her woman had made out of the love of cooking and answered her friend anyway.

**_Raven Reyes: Can I eat first? I am starving once again…_ **

_**Clarke Griffin: Yeah, well, call me when you can**_.

She ate as slowly as she could. Her mood dropping with every minute, because she had no clue as to what Clarke had to tell her. The only thing she was pretty certain about was that it involved the biggest reason she had been so happy lately, her girlfriend.

 

When all of the food was in her digestive system, the tanned woman grabbed her phone and typed in her friend’s number.

“Hi Raven!” Clarke sounded uncertain.

“Hey Clarke! Thank you for swinging by earlier!” Raven said, trying to sound macho.

“Oh, you would have done the same for me as well my friend!” She cleared her throat. “So, um, heard from Sophie tonight?”

“No, she called earlier today, but…um…”

“Because Lexa called me not long ago.”

“Okay?”

What on earth that had to do with Raven anyway, was the first thought running through her mind. The second was much worse, including that Sophie was doing something very bad and didn’t want her girlfriend to know about it. She froze to ice both in the couch and in her heart.

“You know Felisa is with them?”

“That, I…yeah.”

“They have apparently been hanging around really much tonight at the party. Sophie was shitfaced drunk for real. Felisa took her back to the hotel while the other’s stayed.”

“Are you telling me that my girlfriend is banging another girl right now? In another country?”

Raven couldn't even believe that she thought Sophie. Her Sophie, could be fingering another girl in that exact moment. The thought made her skin crawl and she wanted to punch a hole in the wall. In the same time, all she wanted was to cry and tell Sophie to go fuck herself. Maybe, she could even go to hell. Fuck, she didn't really care right now anyway.

“Well, they don’t know. They can be only sleeping or something. You want me to come over?”

“No! I don’t want you to fucking come over! How? Why? The fuck is even happening? The fuck? Fuckmuppet, shit, asshole!”

“What? Me?”

“No! That fucking redhead that I trusted somehow! Fuck!” She took a few calming breaths. “I’m okay, I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

 

**Anna**

The police officer had recently gotten home to her apartment and to her cat. Something resembling dinner had been digested and the woman had thrown herself down on her couch. Her cat came and curled up into her lap as she turned on the TV. All the while as the feeling of emptiness and loneliness was echoing in her beating heart. Why did she had to have such a giant crush on someone who she could never have? Why had she fallen so fucking hard? She sighed and wished for a moment that all those feelings could disappear. Anna didn’t need to be in love with one of her closest friends. She didn’t need love at all.

She sighed at the people on the TV making stupid decisions, there was a series she hadn’t seen before. Probably the Bachelor or something like it. The show was only garbage according to the dark haired lady anyway. She started to wonder why there only were romantic shows on that piece of junk? After sometime she threw the remote into the wall in a fit of anger. It was like the world was against her. The noice made her precious fur-ball hiss and jump away to a safer place than her lap. Something that added to the pain she was already feeling. With a growing lump in her throat she lay her face in her hands and mumbled to herself:

“I guess I won’t be able to pet any pussy tonight.”

As on queue or something, her doorbell rang. She looked down on her sweatpants and baggy T-shirt, feeling anything but attractive. Who cared though? It wasn’t like women were standing in line to date the tall girl. She didn’t expect anyone to come over, so she was more than a little curious of who it could be. When she arrived at the door and peeked out into the peephole, she almost lost her breath and stumbled into her shoe stand. Hitting her toe and shrieking in pain.

“I can hear that you’re home, won’t you please let me in?”

Outside stood Raven, make-up like a Goddess, her hair braided and seemingly in only a long jacket. She seemed to bring a bottle of liquid courage as well. Anna didn’t know what to do. If she let her in, she would see in how bad shape Anna was. She had heard her though, it would be even more embarrassing to meet Raven later and explain why she couldn’t let her in. Anna looked two seconds into the mirror and tied her own hair into a bun before opening the door.

Letting a rather inebreated Raven into her apartment. She stumbled inside and handed Anna a fine looking bottle of wine with a sensual smile.

“Thank you for letting me in, want to share this bottle with me?”

The gift was handed to her by a woman who could barely stand on her feet. Brown eyes had trouble focusing on one point in the room and Anna felt her own body tense. Something felt off with her, friend? Or, what she could call her.

“Well, thank you for the wine, but, um…it’s in the middle of the week. We both got work tomorrow and…What exactly…?”

Raven dropped her knee-long jacket to the floor and revealed a pair of super-sexy lingerie that would make Sophie drop her jaw to the floor. Anna on the other hand could appreciate the sight, but wasn’t excited. She felt sorry for Raven and wondered if hell had frozen over only by the thought of the other woman coming over. That she seemed to want some sexy time only made Anna even sadder. Sophie was in love with this woman, it would be so easy to just fuck Raven and let the two women fuck up their relationship and let Anna be with Sophie instead. The thought was tempting, but she couldn’t do that to Sophie. No, she wanted her to be with her because she wanted to.

“I want you Anna!” Raven flung her arms around Anna’s neck.

The taller woman only sighed, turned away and got a robe for her visitor. Raven blinked confusedly but accepted it. She was still wearing a frown when Anna led her to the couch and made tea for them.

“I really don’t think you want me Raven. Talk to me, what has happened?”

The woman in the robe started to look embarrassed. She probably regretted her plan and felt relieved that Anna talked her out of it. Anna on the other hand was mad at herself. That had been a great opportunity to mess up Raven and Sophie's relationship.

“Sophie and Felisa went back to the hotel together,” Raven gritted her teeth as she said it.

“And?” Anna brought the tea for them and sat down next to her uninvited guest.

“They had been close the whole evening, Sophie was drunk as hell and they think they might be sleeping together.”

“So, you thought it would be a great idea to get revenge on her with me,” Anna said.

“Well, yeah! You’re hot and she has feelings for you too so…”

Anna almost spit out what she had recently let into her mouth by that statement. A weird warmth was spreading inside of her again, making her belly tingle. Her love did have feelings for her as well. She couldn’t believe it. It made everything even worse really, but what would she do?

“What if they haven’t done anything? How would that have made you feel if the two of us had done things then? How do you think she would treat me, her teammate, afterwards?”

“Oh, God! I hadn’t thought about that…”

“So…let’s hope they don’t do anything and that we can leave this behind?”

“Yeah, I’m so sorry…I shouldn’t…Sorry!”

Anna gave Raven her jacket and they hugged before the latter went home. Leaving the officer with a thousand thoughts in her mind. Did she actually have a chance? Why did Raven choose to come to her for real if she wanted to cheat? So many questions and so little brain-capacity left for the night.

 

A couple of hours later, she got a message from Sophie.

**_Sophie Ringbom: Oh, fuck! Anna, I’ve fucked up. For real this time._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about not telling you in this chapter either. I promise you guys that you will be told about what really happened in the next chapter!


	45. The truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to know what really happened that night
> 
> Or
> 
> The truth's out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Here's the chapter you've all been waiting for! I hope it's as good as you wished for!
> 
> I also hope you've had a great Weekend! 
> 
> Also, thank you for all support and love! It's truly motivating.
> 
> XOXO

**Sophie**

The short girl jumped out of bed while screaming in shock because she realized what might have happened. She couldn’t believe it though, had she really got that drunk so she had fucked her ex? What was she supposed to do now? Raven was literally everything to her and she had screwed her over. Raven wasn’t the forgiving type, she would slit Sophie’s throat, figuratively or not, Sophie wasn’t sure.

There was a short search for her phone before she sent a short text to the first person she could think of, Anna. No one else would answer a text like this from her. She only wrote that she fucked up. Hoping that her friend wouldn’t judge her too much.

That happened before she could hear Felisa’s quiet giggle and realization dawned upon her. Neither of them were naked. Sophie actually wore a bigass T-shirt on top of her underwear and Felisa wore a nightgown. Did she not fuck up anyway? The feeling of utter horror and regret started to be replaced by relief.

“Du trodde verkligen att vi låg igår, va?” Felisa laughed. (" ** _You really thought we had sex yesterday, huh?”)_**

”Ja, jag var full som stryk och fick black-out, vad tror du?” Sophie shrugged her shoulders. ”Och vi hade jämt sex när vi var tillsammans förr…” **_(”Yeah, I was drunk as fuck and blacked out, what d’you think?” “Besides, we had sex all the time when we were together.”)_**

”Du hade glömt din rumsnyckel, och var sjukt ledsen över att du inte kunde vara med Raven. Tror du grät på min axel i en timme innan vi lyckades somna.” ( ** _”You forgot your roomkey and were terribly sad that you couldn’t be with Raven. I think you cried on my shoulder for an hour before we got to sleep.”)_**

”Oh…”

Everything started to make sense again. Still, Sophie couldn’t for her life understand why the Italian woman hadn’t even tried to do anything naughty with her. It seemed like something she would do, if she hadn't changed dramatically since they had been together.

“Men hur kommer det sig att du…?” Sophie started. ( ** _”But how come didn’t you…?”)_**

”Jag kommer alltid att älska dig, men jag vet att du är upp över öronen förälskad i fröken Reyes. Om jag ville ligga med dig igår, självklart, men jag kunde inte göra så mot dig. Du skulle blivit så förstörd och, nä, jag kunde inte ens försöka.” ( ** _”I will always love you, but I know that you’re head over heels in Ms Reyes. If I wanted to fuck you yesterday, sure, but I couldn’t do that to you. You would have been distraught and no, I couldn’t even try.”)_ **

”Tack!” ( ** _“Thanks!”_** )

Sophie got back into bed and gave Felisa the biggest hug she could. After that she got dressed in yesterday's clothes. She really had to go get fixed up before the gig. No matter how things would look on the outside, her getting out of a gorgeous woman's hotel room early in the morning. With her hair everywhere, the clothes from the previous evening. God, she would look guilty even though she didn't do anything wrong. Sighing before leaving her ex's room and heading for her own, wishing her roommate would be awake and let her in.

 

**Lexa**

The commander didn’t have a clue as to what had happened the night before. Though she was worried. Not worried sick, but she had a bad feeling about things. Something she wished away, since this tour supposedly was very important to them all. What if Sophie had fucked up even before they started? What if they would have to get back home because they couldn’t get along with the tour-guide?

Getting out of bed was nothing Lexa wanted to do right now, her mind was playing all possible scenarios she could think of. Then she remembered she had called Clarke the night before as well. What if Clarke had told Raven. If Lexa knew the latter woman, she would probably do something she would regret later.

“Oh, shit!” Lexa said before getting out of bed, making her roommate grunt in displeasure of being waken.

“What’s wrong?” Anya mumbled into the pillow.

“I think shit’s about to happen.”

“Haven’t they already?”

At that, Lexa’s phone started vibrating. It was apparently a text from one of their band members.

**_Sophie Ringbom: We didn’t do shit. We only slept. See you guys at breakfast._ **

Lexa read and re-read the text. She could hardly believe it, they had been extremely close during the whole evening and she had trouble thinking that nothing happened between the singer and the tourguide. Though, she wanted to trust her, she really did.

“So, who’s it from?” Anya had gotten out of bed and stared at her friend who in turn glared at her phone.

“Sophie, she wrote that they didn’t do anything.”

“I call bullshit on that. Of course they did. Sophie’s got a sex-drive of a rabbit or something.”

“So, you don’t trust her?”

“Well, I do trust her…but not when it comes to these things.”

“Huh, what a friend you seem to be then.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing, let’s get some breakfast before I get hangry for real.”

While walking towards the dinner hall, Lexa started thinking about her girlfriend. The love of her life. A person who would definitely love to sleep in various hotels, trying out which one had the best breakfast servings. The brunette felt a smile tug at her lips as she pictured Clarke walking next to her, entwining their fingers, talking about what she would eat first out of the dishes. She would probably say that when she was done with breakfast, she would eat out Lexa as well. Damn, how could she survive any longer without her? Lexa could feel her insides twist and turn as she understood it would take months before Clarke would be able to do her again and she would be able to taste her. Touch her, hug her and fuck her.

How cruel life could be sometimes, it could be awesome in one way and a complete pain in another. Lexa had wanted this tour, she really had, but now, all she wanted was to have Clarke by her side again. Not even when she saw all the delicious food on beautiful plates did she think it was worth it anymore. She longed to get back home. Home to her lovely woman.

When she saw Sophie by the breakfast table talking to Lincoln looking like she had done the walk of shame, Lexa's insides twisted again. Had she lied? Was she truthful, did they only sleep and she was too hungry to change before breakfast? She swiftly filled a plate with food before getting to said table, joining her friends. Sophie truly had some explaining to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys see this coming? Let me know! :D


	46. Moment alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anya and Sophie have a heated argument
> 
> Or
> 
> When Lexa and Clarke finally gets some alone time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm back with another chapter! I hope you'll like it.
> 
> As always I'm really happy about the love you're sending me. Keep letting me know what you think, it's still the best part of writing!
> 
> XOXO

**Lincoln**

Everyone from the band had gathered by the table by now and ate breakfast in some kind of amicable silence.

Lincoln knew shit would hit the fan soon though, because Anya was sending Sophie some weird side-glances. Sophie didn’t like that, she thought it was rude. If there was something she hated, it was rude people. Lincoln knew that. He knew loads of things about his friend.

“So, um…what really happened yesterday?” Lexa was the one breaking the silence after Sophie had poured the last of her coffee into her mouth.

“Nothing, I had forgotten the key and got to sleep in Felisa’s room. She said I cried for hours after Raven and then we fell asleep apparently.”

Anya snorted in disbelief.

“So, why isn’t she here eating breakfast with the rest of us? And do you really think we buy that you spent a night in a cute girl’s room without doing anything?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You know damn well, what I mean!” Lincoln was thankful that the two women sat on opposite sides of the table. They were both boiling in anger.

“What the fuck? Do you insinuate that I can’t control myself? That I’m worse than an animal in controlling my fucking drives?”

“Yes! That is exactly what I mean!”

“You fucking asshole! I am perfectly capable of not doing anything with sexy women. Only because you had the chance with that woman ages ago doesn’t mean you dared doing anything!”

“Calm down ladies!” Lincoln started to get nervous for real, people were looking at their table and there were bound to be paparazzi’s nearby. “Don’t make a bigger scene please.”

“What have I missed?” Lexa stared at her closest friend in chock.

“This woman will forever be mad at me for hooking up with the girl that she wanted,” Sophie said.

“That’s not true,” Anya stared down at her plate with an empty expression.

Lincoln was confused for real by now, what had happened that made Anya this mad at Sophie since forever. They had almost never shown any rivalry, they were probably good at hiding it. Too good obviously, until now.

He could not think of any person Anya could fall for. Who was this girl? More importantly, how could he make them calm down? Both women seemed as they had been in a boxing match, because they were red faced and panting like they had jumped around forever. If looks could kill, they wouldn’t be able to finish the tour.

The tall man frowned at his friends and lost himself in thoughts, were there things that he didn’t know about Sophie? Of course there was, but something that big, wouldn’t she tell him that? Something that could make their whole band split up? She would have told him that right?

Something felt off about this situation. For the first time in all the years he had known his closest friend, he felt that she was hiding something from him and he didn’t like it one bit.He would need to talk to her, and that had to be sooner better than later.

 

**Clarke**

Waking up proved to be more challenging than usual. It was a normal weekday for sure. Lexa wasn’t there to kiss her awake, though. A loud growl into the pillow was released before Clarke grabbed her phone. She saw that Lexa had sent her a message.

 

**_Commander of my heart: Mornin’ babe, you’ve got a couple of minutes alone? I would like to… You know…_ **

 

Clarke rubbed her eyes and tried hard to get those neurons in her brain to work. What was it that her girlfriend wanted to do? Something that involved her being alone.

“Oh, she wants skype sex or something?” she mumbled into the screen.

That thought made her jump out of bed and preparing breakfast faster than ever. She would need it if she was about to do something wild and crazy. Some sexy clothes were put on before she remembered that answering the text would be a good idea.

 

**_Princess of my dreams: Morning honey! Sure! You want to skype or talk or?_ **

**_Commander of my heart: Skype sounds good! I’m alone in my hotel room right now…_ **

**_Princess of my dreams: Um, hold that thought, I’ve got to eat some food first._ **

 

Clarke hurriedly got some nutrition into her stomach before she turned on her computer and logged into skype.

“Hi babe!” Lexa said, looking sexy as ever in a loose tank top and her hair in a messy bun.

“Hi babe! By the way, since when did you start to call me babe?” Clarke asked.

“Since the tour? I don’t know, I feel like calling you babe!”

“Okay, so, how’s everything?”

“It’s okay, nothing happened between Felisa and Sophie.”

A sense of relief washed over her. She had been truly terrified that Sophie would fuck up her relationship with Raven. Which would be really bad, they were a match made in heaven. Not as good match as Clarke and Lexa though, but not one couple could be better than them.

“Great!”

“Yeah…”

An awkward silence and Clarke didn’t know what to do with herself. She felt like a teenager again, not knowing what to say or do. This was stupid, she knew Lexa and loved her. She should know what to say and do with her girlfriend! Still, they kept staring into each other’s eyes on the screen.

“God, I wish you were here Clarke! I love you and miss you so damn much.”

“I wish I could join you too. You’re wonderful.”

“Um, so…I was thinking about…”

“Please say cam sex!” Clarke bit her lower lip. “I don’t think I can stand to be without you for so long otherwise.”

“Yeah, sure…I’ve never done that though.”

“It's easy, I'll lead you through it babe. Okay, so, let’s get into the right mood. I’m going to remove my T-shirt, it’s hot in here.” Lexa gulped as round breasts in a sexy bra revealed themselves in the cam.

“Oh, Clarke, you are so fucking sexy! Damn, I wish I could touch them right now!”

She in turn removed her top and showed of her black sports bra. Clarke could feel her own mouth start to water, knowing which perky breasts were underneath the garment.

“Lexa, you’re so damn hot!” Clarke started to squeeze her own breasts as she saw her girlfriends pupils explode by the action. “I want you to touch me.”

“I wish I could!” Lexa looked a bit uncomfortable as she started to feel her own breasts.

“You’re doing so good babe, keep touching my breasts, they’ve missed you.”

The blonde woman felt her own wetness increase as she watched the love of her life touch herself.

“I think it’s time for you to lose your bra now,” Lexa said while wetting her lips.

“Anything for you babe,” Clarke let her boobs free and she could see her lover’s smile widen. “Off with it!”

Lexa started to struggle with her own before a sound from a slamming door was heard from the other side.

“Oh shit honey! I got to go! We’ll try again another time. So sorry!” The brunette looked utterly horrified before they said goodbye.

Disappointed and totally clit-blocked, Clarke turned to get dressed for another day with classes. She was extremely turned on but didn’t have the energy to do anything about it right now. Unhappiness was no turn-on for her really.

“Fuck my life!” She said as she packed her bag and stormed out of the house way too early.


	47. Heart of fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lincoln and Sophie are having a heart to heart as do Raven and Octavia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you've had a great Weekend! Now I'm back with another chapter, I felt inspired today!
> 
> I hope you'll like it, and as usual I'd love to hear what you guys think!
> 
> XOXO

**Sophie**

The short woman left breakfast with her best friend. They were heading to let some steam of in the gym. Sophie's breath was heavy and she was almost boiling out of anger. How could Anya disbelieve her like that? Her thoughts were set on the impossible band member who had practically ruined breakfast for her, which was one of the most sacred moments during the day.

While outside the gym, Lincoln turned to look at his friend.

“So, who was this person that Anya had a crush on that she still is mad about? I need to know bro, I can’t spot you otherwise. Something like this can fucking ruin the band you know.”

Sophie was not expecting this conversation, but she only heaved a sigh before looking down at her gym gear. They truly needed to get some training done and if he really needed this information, she had to give it to him.

“You remember when we started college? How you and Anya started hanging out with me and the girls?”

“I do.”

“She fell in love with Raven. Don’t think she has ever gotten over it.”

“What? Why? When? How?” Lincoln dropped his bag in surprise.

“The first time they met was at a party and they drank together I guess. Raven was distraught that I was together with Clarke and Anya comforted her.”

“So, Anya fell for her then?”

“Yes.” Sophie fiddled with the key card to her favorite room in the hotel. “She kind of called me out on that party as well. Telling me I was a Casanova who only seduced women and stepped on pieces of their hearts. I had no idea what she was talking about. I was faithful to Clarke.”

“Oh, shit! Didn’t know about this. How can you guys have hidden it for this long?”

“I don’t know. I guess me getting back to the hotel with Felisa was the last straw for her though.”

The two friends entered the room. Eyeing every kettlebell and machine.

“Anya is mad that she has feelings for someone she can’t have,” Lincoln said. 

“Yeah, but I’ve told her to move on.”

“She can’t?”

“No, supposedly not.” Sophie sighed.

What a mess her life was. Lincoln looked at his friend and gave her a reassuring hug.

“Well, it’s not something you can do anything about. I’m just glad you told me the truth.”

“You know I only tell you the truth. So, do you believe me about last night?”

“Of course bro.”

Knowing her best friend believed her made her relax a bit. She could always count on the beefy guy. Her true brother from another mother. They started with their leg day and hoped they would be able to perform on the concert during the night later. Even though they would push their bodies to their boundraries, they would need to jump around on stage as well.

 

**Raven**

Waking up with the worst hangover she had had in ages was anything but funny. Octavia had been thoughtful though, and placed a glass of water along with an aspirin next to Sophie’s and Raven’s bed. Or wait, Sophie didn’t know that she had moved in. Did Lincoln know that Octavia had moved in to his room?

The feeling of regret entering her body and mind. Not only from the night before, how could Raven even imagine her girlfriend being with someone else? She was an amazing woman and undisputedly awesome in bed. Why did she even doubt her? Why did she even try to seduce one of her teammates?

“Oh, Raven, what did you almost do?” She said to herself before taking the painkiller.

“Good, you’re awake!” Octavia chimed from outside her bedroom door. “I wanted some company for breakfast!”

“Fuck you O, I don’t have the energy to get downstairs.”

Octavia didn’t care. She brought in the breakfast to Raven instead. Laughing at her friend whom had bloodshot eyes.

“What did you really do yesterday?”

It felt like she got a cold shower by those words. She shivered before telling her friend about how she appeared at the police officer's home and tried to seduce her…

“Oh shit!” Was the only thing Octavia said after hearing the story.

“Yeah, it was pretty bad right?”

“Pretty bad? You serious? It’s fucking insane Reyes!” Octavia gave her friend a soft pet on her back. “You really wanted to screw Sophie over did you?”

“I thought she did with me.”

“I know you did! Lincoln called me just as I made us breakfast and told me Sophie had just been sleeping in Felisa’s room. Apparently she had been devastated to not have you around and cried herself to sleep or something like that.”

Raven froze on the spot. Her jealousy kicking back in. Did that girl not have darker intentions with her girlfriend? She had a hard time not to believe that. Felisa wanted some of Sophie, Raven was sure of it. The problem was that she couldn’t do shit about it. Maybe nothing happened yesterday, but she was sure that it would before the end of the tour.

“I hate that Italian girl, she will probably try her best to nail Sophie.”

“But she comforted her? Nothing happened?”

“Yeah, but…”

“Oh Raven, if you’re going to be jealous again…”

“I’m not. I’m not trusting her, that’s all.”

“Okay, let’s say that. By the way, Lincoln told us that media is probably going to post loads of crap about the band and we should be aware of that. They are famous you know and there are paparazzi’s everywhere.”

“Sure.”

Raven looked at the news in her phone, seeing a picture from the premiere party the night before. Seeing a picture of her sexy girlfriend. The picture made her heart beat faster and her smile grew wide. Until she noticed the girl standing inches apart from Sophie, looking like she was going to eat her up. The headlines didn’t make it better.

“Love on tour! What is this bullshit?” Raven screamed while throwing her phone into the wall.

“Don’t believe in everything you read!”

“It was a picture as well, it looked like they were going to kiss for fuck’s sake!”

“Maybe it was photo shopped?”

Raven calmed down two seconds as she realized it didn’t have to be real. Still, she knew the tour guide wanted more than friendship. Because Sophie was that kind of girl whom one wanted, that was only a fact.

“I need to go to Europe, you coming or what?”

“Like, now?”

“No, I’m going there for their vacation in Italy. I have the perfect plan as to what to do!”

The tanned woman was not religious, but right now, she hoped and prayed that her woman was not going to do things with someone else. Their relationship would definitely not be able to recover from another setback like that.

“That concert isn’t for another month.”

“So, then we will have time to fix with passports and shit!”

“True, by the way, we’re off to eat at Indra’s place tonight. Apparently we’re taking care of Cora for the rest of the week now. Indra needed to do something.”

At the thought of the little innocent child, Raven smiled once again. Before she wondered if Sophie wanted to have children with her. Because every time she met Cora, her thoughts about having kids took over.

Some kids with the woman of her dreams would be huge, but also amazing. She wished for nothing more than to be married with Sophie, having kids with her and spend the rest of their lives together. How hard could it be?


	48. Matters of the heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa gets to know Anya better 
> 
> And
> 
> Anna tells Sophie the truth about her feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you all liked the last chapter and that you're going to enjoy this one as well. It's been a more productive week than I thought and I wanted to give you guys another chapter now I've had some spare time.
> 
> Still, I would like to thank you guys for leaving comments and kudos. I love to know what you think!
> 
> XOXO

**Lexa**

She sat in her hotel room and was really mad at Anya for disturbing her cam session with Clarke. Still only wearing nothing on top except for her sports bra. How dare she walk in like that? When Lexa was about to see Clarke’s fabulous boobs? When Lexa was finally able to talk to her soulmate for more than two minutes?

Her anger and irritation soon disappeared when she looked at her friend. Lexa looked at her friend who was crying. Anya never cried, she had seen it happen a few times before, but on really rare occasions. This was a full sob-attack though, something Lexa had never seen before from her roommate. She was really shaking and tears were streaming down her face.

“Why? It’s all her fucking fault!” Anya managed to let out between her sobs.

“What has happened?” Lexa asked while standing up and opening up her arms.

She didn’t want to force her friend into a hug if she didn’t want it herself. Still, the other woman lay her head on her shoulder and accepted the embrace. Lexa was still baffled though, she had no idea of why her friend was crying. It had probably something to do with Sophie. How come all women cried around that redhead?

“I was in love with Raven before.”

“Oh, I didn’t know…”

“No, that was the plan. No one should know I guess.”

“Sophie is together with her, that’s why you’re sad?”

“No!” Anya grappled at Lexa’s back.

“Then, why?”

“Because I’m in love with Anna. Who is in love with Sophie.”

“You keep falling for girls who are in love with someone else. Maybe you should try falling for someone who likes you back?”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried?”

“Of course. I’m so sorry for you, but you can’t keep blaming Sophie for feelings she can’t affect.”

“Can’t she stop being so drop-dead gorgeous and sweet? All girls keep falling for that fucking tomboy.”

“She’s only being herself. Someone will love you for being you too.”

“Don’t say Bellamy though. I’ve tried playing for that team now. I’ve realized I like women.”

“I was definitely not going to say Bellamy. Sadly I don’t know many single women though, but you’ll meet loads during our tour.”

A hint of hope was sparkling in Anya’s eyes by now. Her sobs had ceased and her body had stopped trembling.

“You think I can meet someone?”

“You’re worthy to be loved as well Anya.”

“Thank you!”

For the first time during their conversation Anya looked at Lexa’s body and creased her eyebrows at the sight.

“Did I interrupt something or what the hell is the reason you don’t wear a shirt?”

“I was going to change sweater.”

Lexa could feel her face burning in shame and her friends’ eyes boring into her brain. Not buying her excuse.

“You were totally going to have cam sex with Clarke weren’t you?” Anya smiled mischievously.

“What if I was going to? You disturbed us. Now you owe me privacy loads of time during this trip!”

“No way!” Anya grabbed a pillow from the bed and threw it straight into Lexa’s face.

“Game on!” Lexa said before grabbing a pillow on her own and hunting Anya around the hotel room.

Lexa didn't remember when she had had a pillow fight last time. Running around hitting her friend with the soft thing made her wish to do childish things more often. It was funnier than she expected.

 

**Anna**

Being alone had never been this lonely before. Sophie had called her and told her about the night before. Sophie had called her and Anna had wanted to tell her so much more than she actually did. Anna knew the truth about Sophie and Felisa’s night. Anna also knew the reason Anya was mad at Sophie. She knew many things. The tall woman kept replaying parts of their conversation earlier in the day.

 

**(Flashback to earlier)**

“I don’t know what I’ve done to make someone attracted to me at all, you know? I’m just being me.” Sophie had said.

“Maybe it’s your incredible charm and sexy appearance? Or the fact that you’re caring, loving and funny? The fact that you’re strong and feel safe?” Anna had slipped and bit her lip afterwards.

A moment of silence had followed her statement.

“You really think that?” Sophie sounded both surprised and baffled.

“No, I’m just kidding.” Anna wanted to hit herself with something hard, why did she suddenly start to lie? 

“I actually think you’re amazing Anna and I envy the woman who will be with you. You deserve someone as nice and loving as you.”

Why don’t you tell her Anna? Tell her the truth? She has feelings for you too, she cares.

“You and Raven look lovely together. You will be happy for the rest of your lives. I want you to know that I can’t be in your games anymore though.”

Hesitation from the other end, Sophie’s voice thick and was it sad?

“Oh, I understand you. I hope you’ll find what you’re looking for.”

Anna’s heart broke, Sophie didn’t want her to disappear from her life like that. Anna didn’t want to either, but being the third wheel was nothing she could do anymore.

“Still friends?” Anna asked hesitantly.

“If you want to. It will be hard to forget though.”

She wanted to ask what would be hard to forget. She wanted to know her true feelings. Still, she knew it would break her more to hear it. Anna had to be strong now, pretend she has no feelings. It would be the best for their friendship, right? It would be best for them both, putting up more walls between them?

“What will be hard to forget?” Anna chastised herself that she could not leave it be, forget and move on.

“How it felt being with you. I know I shouldn’t think about it, that I shouldn’t feel things for you. The fact is that I do and I hate myself. I hate myself for feeling so much all the time.”

Anna felt her tears welling up inside. This was all that she’d ever wanted. Still she dared not to speak up. Her walls started to break, she had to fight this. Her heart was a black hole and right now she had the chance to do something about it. Or had she? How could she? It would break both her and the woman in the other end. She knew Sophie would never be unfaithful or leave Raven. There would only be a disastrous outcome of this conversation. Both of them would feel guilty and somewhat empty. Still, she had to take the small chanse, she needed to, for her own sake. 

“I was kidding earlier, I think all those things about you. I love you Sophie and I don’t know how to only be in your life as a friend.”

There it was. The cold hard truth. Her walls crumbling, falling apart. Her heart breaking with every heavy breath and every sob from the other side of the phone. Two women breaking down walls, ripping out their hearts out of their chests. Showing them to each other, to the world. Fuck, she could not let this go. She could not think of what was best for Sophie anymore, Anna wanted to be with her too much.

“I’m so sorry Anna. I love you too, but we can’t be more than what we are.”

She had to take this shot at happiness. Or more heartbreak, Anna wasn’t sure. 

“Do you think about my lips against yours when you think of me too?”

More moments of silence from Sophie and a deep sigh.

“Yes I do, but that is all I can give you Anna. I can’t give you more of me than you’ve already gotten. I can’t do that to Raven.”

“Well, I got to tell you what she did yesterday…”

**(Back to present)**

 

Anna had told Sophie everything about what had happened the night before with Raven. It almost felt like Sophie had resigned. That she started to give up. Give up on what, was something Anna didn’t know. Telling Sophie about her true feelings felt weird and made her vulnerable. Why had she done it? That woman had razed the walls that took Anna ages to build up. Also, the empty void in her heart was a little less empty right now. Maybe, she would be able to be with the woman of her dreams after all. Maybe, Sophie would change her mind. In the same time, panic struck her, what if she would actually be able to be with the woman of her dreams? Could she be able to be with someone for real? Would she able to give of herself to someone else?

Then the feeling of guilt started to creep up on her. What if she would be the reason Sophie and Raven broke up? What if she would be the reason her dream girl fell apart and had to be put back together?

Opening the fridge and picking out a piece of chocolate did not help. Anna felt guilty for using the oportunity given to her and for wanting someone she could not have. If she would steal away Raven's girl, she thought darkly, would the love be sweet anyway? She was now powerless of anything happening, she couldn't do anything more about things. The only thing she could do was to hope everything would turn out okay in the end. Because, it always did, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh noes! What is going to happen? Do you believe one can have feelings for more than one person at a time like poor Sophie here? What do you think will happen in the next chapter? Please let me know either here or on my Tumblr: Metalqueen91


	49. Good thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The band gets to the meet and greet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry for the delay in uploading. I've been a busy girl and had the worst writer's block. This chapter has actually been beta-read, so I'm really thankful for my Dutch girl who helped me!
> 
> As usual, I'm really happy for your love and comments! I hope you'll like it. Have a great week!
> 
> TW: Angst, hurt and comfort
> 
> XOXO

**Lincoln**

The band were on the way in the limo again. Every member had psyched themselves up in the way they liked before this trip. Now they were supposed to go to a meet and greet for their fans. They were going to meet people who had won special tickets and they had autographs to sign. Lincoln had a bad feeling once again. Anyone could win places at their meet and greet, what if some weird groupies would come there? What if the woman of his life would get there?

The air in the car was different from earlier in the morning, everyone seemed excited and happy to be together. Lincoln couldn’t help but wonder if the two women who had a quarrel had talked or something, since they seemed to get along once again. He was interrupted in his thoughts by Felisa who started to talk.

“First there will be a meet and greet. People who’ve won a competition will meet you and there will be food…” A pause in which Sophie and Lincoln whistled in joy over the free food. “After that they will be escorted to great seats in the arena and you guys will sit down by a table and sign autographs.”

“This is why we need her as our manager!” Anya said making everyone in the car gasp in surprise. “What? She knows everything and takes care of us.”

“Um, you guys sure you want me as your manager?”

“Yes! You know the places we are going and you care about us, I’d say yes to that!” Lexa said.

“I’ve got to add one thing though, if you’d keep your hands off of Sophie, you can be our manager,” Anya said.

All band members except for Sophie said amen to that, she only blinked in shock. Lincoln felt a bit surprised that he actually wanted the Italian woman to be their manager. They didn’t have one and they didn’t know anyone else who was cut out for it, so it felt pretty natural.

“If you guys feel like you want me to be your manager, I’ll start from tomorrow officially. I need to do a great job tonight first of all and Anya needs to write some agreement so we can do it the right way.”

“I think you can write something great and we’ll all sign it afterwards,” Anya said while opening up a bottle of champagne. “Now, we need to get prepared!”

Lincoln laughed as he thought about how he had met Octavia for the first time. Champagne had been involved and she had been a bit more than tipsy. Lincoln had opened a bottle when Octavia walked by and accidentally hit Bellamy in the back of his head. He remembered the look from his friend when he turned around to see who had hit him.

The strong man didn’t feel so strong right now, he missed home. He missed his woman and the friends he wouldn’t meet in a long time. Not even when he got a glass and started drinking did the feeling of longing get erased from his mind.

**Sophie**

A little while before the meet and greet was opening, the band got outside to get some fresh air. Lexa was snapchatting Clarke a pic of her and Anya with the dog-filter, looking anything but as cool as they usually did. They only looked really adorable, which made Sophie along with the two other band members whistle at them.

A handsome man approached them after sometime. He looked really nervous and his eyes were flicking between them all, before he caught the eye of Sophie. The muscular woman froze for a while before she approached the man, looking as nervous as him. Her mind was spinning and it felt like her few working brain cells tried desperately to work out something to say and do. The older man was wearing their band shirt and a pair of black jeans, resembling his daughter a bit. He brought the ticket of their meet and greet and his face was showing both signs of pride and shame. Sophie was uncertain of what to do, especially since the man had brought her favorite candy from her childhood. A box of kinder eggs. Her tears started streaming down her face as the man spoke up.

“I am so sorry Sophie, I have never been a good role-model for you.”

Tears started leaking in her father’s eyes as well. Lincoln was almost on his way to tell the man to go away, but Sophie’s friends realized it would be better to give the two some privacy and look at them from afar.

“I…I am so sorry for everything, all the pain we’ve caused you,” his words almost got stuck in his throat.

“Apologizing won’t change the past or really help with my pain, Petter,” Sophie could see it stung in the man’s heart that she called him by his name. “You have no idea of how much you’ve hurt me. Where’s she by the way?”

She pretended that she couldn’t care less about the man standing in front of her. The truth was that she did. In some weird way, she still wanted to be the little girl who sometimes got to sit in her father’s lap cuddling and watching television. Her childhood wasn’t the best, but some memories of her father was good, he took care of his daughter those few times that he was home.

“We’ve split up. She found someone who had similar interests,” he shook his head and didn’t even seem bothered by it. “I’ve finally managed to get myself and my life together. It was much easier without her. There’s still one thing in my life I want to make right…”

“You can’t change the past, nothing you say will change anything,” Sophie’s voice was breaking now as did her father’s.

“I know that it won’t change the past. Nothing I say or do will change that. All I want is to give us both a chance to change the present and the future. I’ve been a bad father and I want to change that.”

“You can’t. You just, you can’t.”

He looked at her with his head slouching, suddenly remembering the gift he had brought.

“Do you remember why you loved these when you were a kid?”

“No,” Sophie said only to hear if he remembered.

“You loved the chocolate because it was sweet and delicious. Inside they were all different, with different toys and possibilities. You remember that one time that we got parts to unalike toys?”

“Yes.”

“I told you that sometimes it can take some time before one figure things out and find the right pieces,” he took a deep breath. “Your mother and I weren’t the right pieces together. I’d like to help you puzzle things together in the future, if you’d want to have me in your life,” he stretched out the gift to Sophie who hesitantly let her shaking hands take it.

Eating and opening the first egg, she found the missing pieces of her earlier egg from when she was a kid. Her dad got out the matching pieces from his jeans pocket, they were to different cars. Sophie’s eyes watered yet again as she took them, put the cars together before dropping everything she had and let her arms around her father.

“Jag är så himla glad att du är här pappa.” **_(I’m really happy you’re here dad.)_**

“Jag är glad att jag vann den här biljetten, jag är så stolt över dig min fina dotter.” ** _(I’m happy I won this ticket, I’m so proud of you my wonderful daughter.)_**

The two were stuck in a hug as Sophie let all her walls down, finally being able to process some parts of her past. When walking into the hall with her father after a little while, she felt two feet taller. Her father was actually proud of her. That was something she had always wanted to hear, his approval had always been important to her. Now, she had it and she felt like she could take on the world.


	50. A different kind of love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is getting all nervous about the dinner with her friends, Indra and Cora. The band is chilling, pre-concert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm terribly sorry for the delayed update, I have had many personal issues to deal with lately. Now I'm getting back on track and I really hope I'll be able to update on a more regular basis now.
> 
> On a more exciting note, this is the 50th chapter! I plan on celebrating that fact with another update this week already. Also, this story is the reason I actually got in contact with my girlfriend. Who knew one could meet the love of one's life through fanfiction?
> 
> As always, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter! Also, have a great Weekend!
> 
> TW: mentions of different kinks.

**Chapter 50**

**Clarke**

The nervous wreck who was once called Clarke had been running around her apartment for the last half an hour. Checking her outfit, would it be good enough? Changing into something else for the hundred time. Hoping her friends would arrive soon to pick her up, before she gave up on her outfits for real.

Miss Griffin was going to a dinner with her girlfriend’s daughter and aunt. Cora was probably going to be a little ray of sunshine as always. Indra on the other hand, always made Clarke nervous. They hadn’t met many times before this evening, but the few times they had, the blonde had always felt the taller woman’s eyes on her. Indra was a beautiful and strong woman who truly had the power to make people crawl out of their skin.

To make Indra like her was a top priority since she was related to the woman of her affection. That was a tough task though. Lexa had told her stories of how Indra had disliked earlier friends and how it had taken Costia quite a while to earn the older woman’s approval. There were loads of things to think about when being around her. Lexa had given clear instructions to her girlfriend to never go inside her home with her shoes on. That was apparently a big no no. Only to mention one of the things.

Clarke looked at her phone for the tenth time that minute or so. Still no sign of her friends, they were supposed to pick her up in time. Indra disliked when people couldn’t get in time, or more like it, hated people who were late. Raven finally called to say she could get out to the car, pretty much in time. The phone call brought her back to reality. The dinner would happen, there was no escape. Would she survive? Would she finally earn the trust of Indra?

Octavia was really irritated, sitting by the wheels and mumbling something incoherently as Clarke got into the car. Raven on the other hand seemed pretty happy about life in general.

“So, you ready to go princess?” Raven asked her friend.

“I am, let’s do this!”

Octavia only grunted before she started the car. The two other friends didn’t even dare to ask what had happened. If the driver was in a bad mood already, there was no use in talking about it. She would only snap and get even angrier. Clarke only wished she would get back into her normal mood, Indra didn’t like grumpy people.

 

**Lexa**

Before the concert Sophie seemed more content than ever. Everyone else seemed happy and the whole squad seemed to have fun eating and chilling with fans. There were tacos, which made Lexa question what country they were in. She wasn’t the only one.

“I thought we were in Sweden?” Anya had asked when the dinner was served.

Everyone in the room had laughed and a random Swede had answered that most Swedes love tacos

“Are you disappointed that it’s not meatballs and mashed potatoes or something?” Sophie had added, making Anya nudge her.

“No, I have to be honest here, I have no clue what you guys like to eat.”

Lexa’s thoughts wandered away. Far away to her amazing blonde girlfriend. She sighed as she thought about her full lips, her curly hair and sexy curves. Right now, she would do anything to be with her or at least hear her voice.

In her haze, the towering woman bumped into someone who looked very much like Clarke. Except that she wasn’t. She couldn’t be. That woman was at the other end of the Atlantic ocean. 

“Oh, sorry!” Lexa said as she tried to balance her plate full of food with one hand and her glass filled with beer in the other hoping nothing dripped on the other woman.

“Don’t worry, it’s my fault really,” the blonde said as she started to wipe something from her bosom, something looking very much like beer.

Eyes blue as the most sparkling sapphire bore right into her skull, making her neurons stop dead in their tracks. Her own eyes slowly turning down to the other woman’s hand, still wiping away some beer. Or more correctly, trying to make the beverage disappear, failing horribly with the task. Fuck this Lexa, you can’t look down there, it’s not something you would do, you don’t objectify women.

“So, you’re a beer lady?”

“Yeah, sorry again for spilling all over you. I was thinking about someone.”

“I was just going to ask you if you wanted a visit in the lodge, but then I remembered that you have a girlfriend.”

“I do, and I love said woman very much.”

“Well, I respect that. Still, can I have your autograph?” Lexa signed her fan’s wrist and earned herself a smirk.

A whisper in hear ear before the blonde left her made her stomach jolt a bit.

“Here’s my number if you change your mind,” the woman shoved a little note inside of her back pocket before she could react.

“Come on commander, get a grip on yourself,” Lexa murmured under her breath.

The sickly feeling of guilt pectizing her body. Nothing had happened, but there was a small part of Lexa that wanted to call this girl. Her blonde curly hair, her luscious lips, blue eyes and curves made her look very much like Clarke. They were roughly the same height as well. It’s only because I miss her so much, she thought to herself. That was also the truth, she did miss Clarke, not one second passed without her being on her mind.

 

**Lincoln**

They had established some sort of rituals during all of their touring around the world. Even though Monroe and Lexa hadn’t joined them at all of their previous ones, Anya, Lincoln and Sophie thought that some things were too good to let go of. One was that the band members would sit in a joined lodge, and talk about everything on their minds. Always before they would get on stage.

The meeting with their fans had been fun and now the band found themselves in the lounge. Chilling together with water bottles in their hands. Since Lincoln knew were this was heading, he would have wished for something stronger to drink. Knowing they would get alcoholic beverages on stage and that they needed to do a great performance though, made him pretty content with the drinks anyway. 

“So, what do you guys do before concerts?” Lexa asked before opening her bottle.

“We usually talk about stuff. Like telling each other weird stuff that’s happened to us or something,” Lincoln answered.

“So, today’s topic…What about weird things groupies have done?” Anya said a wide smile spreading across her face. “Sophie, you first!”

“Um…okay, so, there was this groupie I met a couple of times during our tours in Finland. After Clarke and before Raven of course. We had some awesome sex. You know this steaming, fucking, hardcore sex. I thought there was no feelings attached, but she asked me to marry her the last time we met. Let’s just say that was awkward.”

“What? Like she had a ring and got down on one knee?” Monroe gasped.

“Yeah, exactly." A dramatic pause. "Now, it’s your turn.”

“It was before me and Harper got real, there was this one groupie that wanted to like fist me right away. Let’s just say I told her to leave my lounge right away.”

“Oh, that’s intense!” Anya said while laughing, Lincoln didn’t think he had heard his friend laugh this much as she had done that day.

“Okay, well…I had this woman who got into my room, everything started out nicely. Then she brought out some goo, wanting to make a casting of my dick to use as a dildo!” Lincoln said, while gritting his teeth at the awful memory.

He was a man who always tried to stay calm, have control of every situation and everything. That one time was very unpleasant though, it always made it crawl in his skin only by the thought. He felt used, a feeling he knew too well that women in general felt more often than he would ever feel. That was probably the moment he had swore to himself that he would do everything in his power to help women in his surroundings to always feel safe. Or did it have something to do with things his friends had been through? Memories and feelings had started to cloud his mind so he tried his best to return to the situation at hand.

“I think I’ll win with the weirdest though,” Anya said while shrugging her arms.

“Really?” Lincoln raised his eyebrows at his friend.

“Yeah, there was this gorgeous woman who seemed really nice. Then she made a total change, dressed up as a pony and told me to make out with one of her stuffed animals that she had brought in with her.”

“Did you?” Sophie started giggling.

“Of course not! I told her that I wasn’t into those things and asked her nicely to leave.”

Lincoln remembered that time. He had heard a scream from Anya’s room and ran to help his friend. Which wasn’t necessary. The so called fan had got herself thrown out headfirst by a really angry woman.

“Not sure you’ve won though Anya,” Lexa said mysteriously.

“Huh?”

“I married my groupie.”


	51. Cyanide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter were the concert has started, Octavia has probably misinterpreted things and everything is going great with the band.
> 
> Or 
> 
> The chapter when more things get complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm so sorry for the delayed update. I realize I shouldn't promise when I'll be able to release new updates. 
> 
> Once again I would like to thank all of you for all the love you give me and this story. I hope you'll like this chapter, there are many more to come!
> 
> TW: Mentions suicide thoughts, angst
> 
> XOXO

**Sophie**

Sophie’s face dropped at her friend’s revelation. Had Costia been Lexa’s groupie or was she going to admit something else? The redhead had no time to dwell on that question though. The band who had been playing before them were playing their last song and the gang had to get ready.

She tried to focus on their gig, on their songs that they had agreed on playing, depending on the audience of course.

“Let’s do this!” Echoed Lincoln’s voice.

Everyone grabbed their instruments, except Lexa who only grabbed her drum-sticks, her instrument was already on-stage. They thanked the band members from the support band when they got off stage with bro-fists before running onto the stage like crazy people. Sophie started jumping around before grabbing her microphone. She started by thanking the band before them and thanking the crowd who had come to the concert.

“Hello Sweden!” She screamed. “Tele 2 arena, let’s rock!”

The other band-members nodded that they were ready.

”Det är vi som är The Pounder Grounders och det känns så jävla skönt att vara hemma igen! Nu kör vi!” (We are The Pounder Grounders and it feels so fucking great to be home again! Let’s do this!)

Even though the woman knew that only two of the other members knew enough Swedish to understand what she was saying, they had rehearsed enough to know what was coming.

“Den här sången skrev jag för evigheter sedan för någon som faktiskt är här idag. Livet är jävligt lustigt ibland. Men här kommer ’I used to love you’” (I wrote this song ages ago for someone who is actually here today. Life is damn funny sometimes. But here is ‘I used to love you’)

Lexa started with a heavy drum-solo before the other’s joined in.

“I used to love you, you used to be mine, I could see beauty, when you were around.” Sophie now switched to growling. “Then you let me go, let us slip away! Nothing here to keep me around. Nothing was worth living for. I sat there with my knife, looking at my wrists, you were the only good thing in my life. I didn’t have the guts. I would be unwelcomed in both heaven and in hell. I would be stuck in limbo, which was no place for me to dwell. You messed us up. All I wish for is to meet you again. I know that I saw you for the last time on that fucking airport. You looked so fucking hot and I was tortured by the thought of never having you, again.”

The rest of the song kept to the same theme, about the heartbreak Sophie had felt after Felisa and her had broken up. It was a really sad song indeed. It ended with the whole crowd cheering and doing the devils horn with their hands. Probably the best thing that came out of that relationship according to Sophie.

 

**Raven**

The ride to Indra’s place turned out to be a nightmare. Octavia was acting like someone else. She was really angry; it was practically boiling from her. Clarke and Raven did their best to try to tiptoe around it, to talk about other things, but it didn’t help.

It wasn’t before the car stopped at the parking lot that hell broke loose. Raven had never seen her friend as angry before as she was now.

“Have you guys heard this fucking shit that has happened?” Octavia spit out, looking at Clarke.

“No?” Clarke tried, not sure if she should try to hide or something.

O seemed like she wanted to either punch someone or throw a heavy object in someone’s head. Her friends were sitting dangerously close.

“What I’ve read on the fucking news someone was reunited with their dad. I know that Lincoln has slept with groupies, did anyone of you guys know that he had kids with some of them?”

Raven’s mind started spinning. Lincoln being the father to someone else’s kids? That didn’t sound very likely, he just wasn’t that kind of guy.

“Are you sure he has kids with other people?” The mechanic asked her friend. “Did the article say that or are you only assuming now?”

“How else would anyone in the band be reunited with a long lost relative?”

“Um, you don’t think there are other people in the band but your boyfriend?” Clarke asked softly, putting one reassuring hand on her friend’s arm. “It might as well be Sophie, I mean, she’s from there.”

“Like she would ever get reunited with her father just like that?” Octavia spluttered.

“Nothing is impossible,” Raven pointed out.

The mechanic thought of her three words that she recently uttered. They were true of course, she always said things that she meant, but could her girlfriend really forgive her father? She was handed Octavia’s phone, an article showing.

 

_Father and child reunited after years apart. One of the band members of the band Pounder grounders have been newly reunited with one family member they haven’t met in quite some time. ‘I barely remember the last time we met, it’s really good to be able to pick up where we left on and move on with our lives in an amicable way’ said one of the band’s members._

 

Clarke read it right after, looking utterly confused.

“You seriously think this means that your boyfriend has kids with someone else? That makes no sense.”

“Who else is reunited with someone then?”

 

**Lexa**

The crowd was amazing. They were singing along, making a mosh pit and a wall of death during different songs.

Lexa and her friends were in total sync with each other and they delivered every song in the best way possible. In the middle of the concert they were going to try something different though and Lexa was nervous. Every one of them were really worried about one special song. One that Lexa wrote for Clarke, a slow and romantic song that were so different from the band’s other songs.

She left her drum set on shaky legs and prayed to God that their audience didn’t notice. Sophie went to get her clarinet, Anya took her acoustic guitar and Lexa brought the microphone to her lips. When the commander started to sing a beautiful and oh so sincere love song, the whole arena went totally silent. People brought forth their lighters or phones with the lights on and started waving in awe. She was accompanied with two lovely instruments as well, playing soft tunes matching the song. After the song was finished the crowd cheered once again, totally taken aback by the sincerity Lexa had sang about her girlfriend.

“Thank you Sweden! That song was written for my girlfriend; I hope you liked it!” Lexa shouted and immediately got approving shouts from the audience.

 

After the concert, the fans were overexcited and some actually fainted. Sophie tried to fist-bump some of them during the concert and apparently that was too much for some of them, security guards had to take them to a secluded area while waiting for the ambulance.

The members were proud of their performance anyway. They gathered in Lexa’s lodge celebrating a great concert. Their manager on the other hand came there, not looking entirely relieved. She actually looked really saddened.

“Great job guys! The audience loved the concert, you’re all over the social media and everything.” A deep sigh escaping soft lips. “Sophie, can I have a word?”

“Can’t you say whatever you need to say to everyone in the band?” Anya seemed a bit annoyed at the manager’s peculiar behavior.

“I would rather take it with her in person.”

“Whatever you want to say, you can say to everyone,” Sophie looked at Felisa.

“Fine, did you seriously get that depressed from our break-up that you wanted to end everything?”

“Pretty much, but I couldn’t.”

“You weren’t the only one.”

With that Felisa left the room. Not another word was uttered by anyone in the room for a while.

“Oh, shit!” Monroe said. “Does this mean that we don’t have a manager anymore?”

“Fuck!” Anya started to run after the Italian woman, she knew they would be screwed on their tour without her.


	52. Misery Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sophie goes to talk to Felisa, memories from their past and an emotional Lincoln.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! 
> 
> Since I take ages to update I wanted to give you a longer chapter than usual. I have recently adopted a fluffy cat, started to play football again and have had loads of stuff to do. Aka. Football is a lifestyle, seriously. Work and practice, sometimes I have time for gaming as well. Next week, my girlfriend is flying here, therefore, I have no idea when the next update will be.
> 
> I would like to thank you all for your comments and love. Knowing that you appreciate my writing is what keeps me doing this, otherwise I would most likely have left it unfinished. Since you read it, I will absolutely finish it. I've got loads of chapters coming though, not finished with this story yet.
> 
> As usual I hope that you'll like this chapter! I also wish you a nice Weekend!
> 
> XOXO

**Chapter 52**

**Sophie**

Once again she had fucked up. A woman cried because of her. The same woman who many years ago was the reason Sophie had trouble sleeping. The reason she spent nights in different women’s beds, no strings attached. She was apparently devastated and she might have had reasons for it. For the first time in ages, the redhead felt no guilt. Some meaningful looks from her friends told her she should though. Making her follow Anya and Felisa.

Anya and Felisa sat down on a bench, having a non-existing conversation. Anya turned around when she saw her friend arriving.

“Good, you’re probably better at handling this than me,” then she left the former couple to their misery.

“So, um…I’m sorry,” Sophie scratched her side-cut.

“Me too. I don’t know, but maybe this was a bad idea?” Felisa’s teary eyes made Sophie’s stomach turn in a weird way.

“What is a bad idea?” She knew the answer on that question the second she uttered the words.

“Me, being your manager of course.” Felisa hang with her head and Sophie swept her into a bear hug.

“No, it’s not a bad idea. We only need to be better at communicating and push our feelings aside.”

“What?”

“I think that when you’ve been as in love with someone as we used to be, a part of your heart will always remember that. You’ll always have a piece of my heart Felisa. That is all you’ll have.”

“That sucks for the person you end up together with though, if a piece of your heart belongs to me, and I guess this applies to Clarke as well.”

“Yes, she will also always have a place in my heart. But Raven is the queen of all the broken fragments that used to be my heart.”

“I just hoped I would get another chance. That we would get another chance. I’ve hoped for that all these years. It will take me some time to get over that there is no you and me.”

“Have you waited for me?”

“Nah, I’ve dated other women. But we never got further than second base. I only wanted you.”

Sophie’s mind was spinning, had this woman been waiting all along for her to come back. Had she hoped as much as she had done. One look into her dark brown eyes made all the memories wash over her. All the good and the bad things.

“I will always love you Sophie, it will only take some time for me to actually understand that there will be no more us.”

“Jag älskar dig också.”

She felt bad, not only on Felisa’s behalf or her own, but also for Raven. Some feelings would never disappear. Sophie hated the feeling she always had for people. She only knew how to love too much, to show too much emotions. Either it was zero interest or too much. A sigh escaped from the other woman’s lips and some mumbles about how they would make that tour. Just like they had made it through so much more.

“I mean, we made it through the family dinner in Italy, this will be a piece of cake, right?” Sophie said and thought back to a certain memory.

**(Felisa’s grandparent’s vineyard in Tuscany 9 years ago)**

Felisa and Sophie were head over heels in love even though they spent about every waken moment together. They didn’t seem to get tired of each other. The couple was inseparable.

 

The Italian girl’s grandmother was about to turn 60 and had invited the entire family to their vineyard in Tuscany to celebrate her birthday. That meant that Sophie would go on a trip to Italy with Felisa, her mother and sister since she lived with them. There was only one slight problem. The older generation of Felisa’s family didn’t believe in homosexuality except that they thought it was a sin. So, the two young girls pretended to be best friends, which made it easy for them to share bedroom as well. No questions asked.

It was extremely tiring though, both of them liked to be physical with kisses and hand-holding. All they could do was to do those things when they were alone or had Felisa’s mother or sister close by since they knew and didn’t care.

After four days there with loads of walks with amazing views, cooking delicious food and eating together, Sophie couldn’t take it anymore. Everyone was sitting at the dinner table, they had had an amazing dinner with lasagna and tiramisu. The older men were talking about how they had seen two women down town who had kissed and held hands. All in Italian, Sophie had pretended that she didn’t know the language since it was easier for her to pretend not to hear their homophobic bull. But now it was enough, they were mocking those women, how they wouldn’t be able to make it without a man in the household. Sophie had started to speak fluent Italian, yelling at them all that they were being inhuman. That two people of the same sex would be able to make it without a problem, that they would be able to show each other as much love as two people of the opposite sex. If not more. She came up with so many arguments that the rest of the people got speechless.

The young girl who had been showing to have a big heart and who always were polite and happy showed to be more than that. The Italian family had started to love the girl, they had no idea of how she felt about things like this though.

“I mean, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my girlfriend. She’s the most important person in my life and if her life depended on me jumping from an airplane or whatever it was, I would do it. I can’t take all your homophobic rants anymore. I’m gay and I’m in love. That doesn’t make me a different person. It’s not unnatural and I know that me and my beautiful woman will make it without men in our lives.” Sophie finished her rant, in English since she was more comfortable with it, looking around at people with their mouths agape.

Felisa’s grandmother looked around the table and told people to apologize for their ignorance before she told Felisa to get to her side.

“I hope you and Felisa will live a long and happy life together,” she said to everyone around the table who again seemed surprised.

“How did you know?” Sophie could hear Felisa’s now tiny voice ask.

“I can see it in your eyes. It's like you're watching the sunrise everytime she's around. Now, you should give that woman loads of food, she eats like a horse and loves you more than anything. She would do anything for you and is the only woman worthy of you. I want you to have this, your grandfather gave this to me.”

Sophie couldn’t see what it was, but she smiled at her girlfriend. Everyone started to feel much more at ease after the outburst and started talking as well as asking questions about how they met. Not one more homophobic sentence was uttered, they knew they were assholes.

**(One hour later)**

Felisa and her girlfriend decided to take a stroll along the hills of the vineyard. The sun was setting and they had brought a bottle of red wine, glasses and a blanket to sit on. They sat down on a beautiful hill, feeling the warm air from the summer breeze. The sunset looking particularly pretty and their significant others being adorable as ever. Sophie heaved a sigh of relief, she had been warned about this trip, but she had loved it. She loved the country and above all, she loved the woman next to her.

Felisa cleared her throat as she got on one knee in front of Sophie, holding a small box containing an exquisite golden plated ring with several small diamonds on it.

“You’re the love of my life Sophie, I want nothing else than to spend every waken moment with you. You make the world colorful and you make me happy every single day. Will you do me the great honor to wear my grandmother’s ring.”

Taken aback by her partner’s gorgeousness and sincerity, Sophie was now speechless. She only nodded and let Felisa put the ring on her finger before they kissed. This was how she wanted to spend the rest of her life, being with her, now fiancée.

 

**(Back to the present)**

 

“We should probably get back to the others,” Sophie said while getting up from the bench, offering Felisa a hand to help her up.

Getting back to the band felt good. They had figured things out, at least a little bit more. Maybe, they would manage this tour after all.

 

**Lincoln**

The tall muscle machine was lost in thoughts. He was indeed scared that their tour would be over right after it had started. Still, he was sure it wouldn’t be a total waste of time.

He had seen his friend catching up with her father after the show. When had he seen Sophie this happy before? Had he seen her this content earlier? A smile spread across his face as he remembered her talking about all the things her father had missed. She was usually the talker, but her father was equally talkative. He couldn’t understand how they could have had a conversation at all, since both wanted to talk all the time. Sophie had disappeared a little while later to find their manager. Which was probably a good idea. They needed to continue this tour.

Now, their manager and lead singer reappeared after their talk. Hopefully they had figured things out. Sophie gave Lincoln thumbs up before going to talk with her father again. All seemed well and he could finally relax a bit.

A couple of minutes later, he could feel his phone starting to vibrate and a picture of his girlfriend showing. She wanted to Skype. A frown on his forehead as he couldn’t imagine a reason she would want to skype him right at this moment. Octavia knew they were busy.

“Hi O! What’s on your mind?”

“Who has been reunited with their parent?” Octavia wasn’t much for chit chatting.

It was so obvious and one of the reasons Lincoln loved her so dearly.

“Sophie has been reunited with her father. We’re all good and I’ve never seen my bro happier.”

A relieved sigh from the other side.

“That’s good. I’ll leave you to it. Say hello to everyone! Love you.”

“Love you too!”

When they hang up, the tanned man felt even more confused. What was that about? Why had his girlfriend sounded suspicious? It would be hard to focus on spending time with his friends and fans now.

“Why so serious?” Lexa came to his side wearing a frown.

“Octavia called and asked who had been reunited with their parent. Why on earth would she sound doubtful about that?”

“You never know what the tabloids might say. By the way, we need your help over here, more autographs to sign.”

Lincoln rolled up his sleeve and started walking towards the gang of fans that had joined their lounge and tried to put his worries aside. It was party time and he sure as hell didn’t want to be a party pooper. He was going to party like there was no tomorrow. Then he would call Octavia and ask her what’s up. The only problem was, that he missed her so much. There was one girl he missed more though and that was Cora. His little princess. He would be away from her for so long and it killed him to think of how many things he would miss while being away. One look at Cora’s mother, he knew she was feeling it too.

“I called them just now, Cora is fine.”

“Thanks Lexa, I’m not sure I’ll make it without my little girl.”

A smile spread across the tall woman’s face as she thought of something. She grabbed her phone from her pocket and sent a picture of Cora in a Wonder Woman suit. The little girl looked adorable and cool in the same time. Lincoln’s heart was melting and he felt his chest swelling with pride.

“She had seen Wonder Woman with Raven and Clarke. Apparently, Diana Prince was so amazing she needed her own costume.”

“She is our little Wonder Woman already.”

The parents looked at each other before rubbing their eyes. A deep sigh echoing from the two before they headed back to the other people.


	53. Thank you, pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter when we get to know more about the tiny Wonder woman, what's happening in Sweden and we're getting some jealous Clarke. Beware

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you're all having a wonderful Weekend and that you're excited about the new chapter!
> 
> I'm going on a vacation next Weekend, so I will most likely not be able to update in a while. But I thought it would be nice to give you all a new chapter before I'm going. 
> 
> I also want to give you all a huge thank you for reading, commenting, sending kudos and subscribing. You guys are making it so much easier to write.
> 
> XOXO

**Clarke**

The blonde was exhausted to say the least. She had had loads of stuff to do in school during the day. Then she had gone home to Indra.

Dinner at her place was amazing. They had a lovely time together, eating Indra’s delicious food. She didn’t want to share the recipe though, which sucked, but Clarke would survive anyway. Maybe, Lexa knew how to make the wonderful casserole with meat. Indra never said what it was called though, she was extremely secretive. That was of course a part of her persona, never giving away information.

During dinner, Cora had started talking about a movie she wanted to see. Wonder woman was apparently a cool movie she only had to see. She didn’t care that she was in fact, too young to see it. Since Clarke was in the mood to impress both Indra and Cora, she said that they could catch the movie after the dinner. That was the first time that Indra had smiled at her. Octavia and Raven said that they would love to go see it as well.

They regretted it when they got there though. There were loads of people in line and Clarke was terrified that they wouldn’t be able to sneak Cora in. Octavia had her inside of a huge jacket, making it look like she was about to give birth any second. Fortunately for them, not even one of the people working there got suspicious, so they got in. The movie was the best one Clarke had ever seen. The plot, the actresses, the scenery. Everything with it was spectacular. Both she and her friends were scared that Cora would think the movie was a bit creepy. Which the little girl didn't.

The tiny human was only overly excited about it after they left the cinema. Starting to walk around, saying that she was princess Diana of Themyscira. Which was adorable, but the princess needed some gear. That made the three friends and the child drive around town until they found a place that had some princess crowns, capes and the covers she had on her wrists.

After that, Clarke got dropped off at her home while Cora followed Raven and Octavia home. Indra had to go away for a little while. She was very mysterious about this, but then again, she was a very private person.

Clarke lay down in bed as she got home. Thinking about how empty this place was since her friends moved out. How alone she was now most people she cared about was in another part of the world. She sighed. Not one message from Lexa in a while. The blonde guessed that they had gone to bed by now. It had to be early in the morning in Sweden by now. She watched her own alarm clock, ten over ten. Her girlfriend should definitely not be up now. It had to ne around four in the morning over there. They needed loads of sleep if they were going to make the long tour.

Casually checking her messenger, she sees a tiny green dot revealing that her girlfriend is active right now. This has to be checked up, so she starts to write her.

_**Clarke: Hi honey! You up this late?** _

The three dots appearing a bit too long on screen before disappearing. Clarke can feel her heart racing. What is her girlfriend doing right now? Or who? She can see the ugly face of jealousy appear on herself. The aching of her heart that her soulmate might be up to something she shouldn’t. Then she realized the other members of the band hadn’t been online in sometime. What the fuck was Lexa up to? She couldn’t help herself anymore, one call, another one. Lexa didn’t answer.

Two minutes became two hours. Laying sleepless in her bed did not help. Clarke went up to make herself some tea as Lexa finally tried to call her back on Skype. There were so many apps to communicate, why did it take her girlfriend ages to try to contact her back?

“Hi cutie!” A very intoxicated Lexa appeared on Clarke’s phone.

“Hey hon…” Clarke saw a blonde woman in the background looking a bit too fondly at her girlfriend. “Who’s that girl?”

“Um, this is Inga from Sweden! We’re at a nightclub, I felt like dancing all night long.”

The loud music and the poor lightning revealed that the woman in the other end was speaking the truth. It still made Clarke feel uneasy though. Lexa being at a nightclub with another hot woman whom Clarke had no idea of who she was.

“Your girlfriend is a real dancing queen tonight!” Inga said on the phone.

If the woman being in America could jump into the phone and end up on that dancefloor she would. Preferably bitch slap that Swedish blonde, maybe give her a real knock-out. Being all that nice to her woman was not a smart move, Inga.

“Have fun with Inga then!” Clarke turned off the call.

She couldn’t bare see those people together. They looked like they had so much fun, making this woman regret being stuck were she was. Why didn’t she do as she did when she was together with Sophie? Join them on their tour. Tears starting to stream down her face as she started picturing Lexa and Inga doing loads of nasty things together. She couldn’t bear seeing her woman with another one. If this was how it was going to be when the band were on a tour, Clarke started to doubt if she could survive. This pain was killing her. So did the pain of remembering when she joined the band on their first tour.

 

**(Flashback to six years ago)**

Clarke was sitting in the tour bus with her favorite band and her favorite people. Lincoln, Sophie, Monroe, Anya and Bellamy was the line-up for this tour. Clarke had decided to follow the Pounder Grounders on their first tour around the world. Firstly, she didn’t have anything better to do during her vacation from school. Secondly, she didn’t want to leave the side of her loved one. Sophie was sitting next to her on the tour bus. Letting her rest her tired head on her shoulder. Sophie giving her a gentle kiss on her cheek. Not one person had made her feel so loved before. This person was the rock in her life, the one person that made her feel happy and content every single day. One year together now. One year making each other the happiest women in the world. Well, except for that tiny thing that Clarke wasn’t really out and about. Not when it came to her mom anyway.

“Are you guys ready for another pit stop? Because I seriously need to pee!” Anya ruined whatever moment could be going on as the bus driver soon stopped the vehicle.

Their automobile did not have such luxuries as bathrooms or some sort of kitchen. There were only enough uncomfortable seats for the band members as well as Clarke and Harper. Two band members brought their significant others.

They had stopped in a bus stop in the Netherlands. A couple of concerts had been played already in different countries. It was when looking out on the fields full of sheep it hit her though. It hit her how lucky she was. Being in such and amazing place. Being with the woman she loved. There was a gas station close by, the redhead asked if there was something she could buy for her girlfriend before they hurried of to the closest water closets. When Clarke walked back to the bus, Sophie caught up with her. Took her hand and showed her the amazing sky that started to shift in colors. Giving her a soft kiss. Then bringing up a cheese sandwich.

“Not to sound too cheesy, but I love you so much!”

Clarke couldn’t help herself from snorting and involuntarily laugh at her lover’s bad joke.

“I love you too, but enough with the cheese jokes honey.”

“We just entered the land of cheese, I’m only getting started.”

“Remind me to kiss you all the time to shut you up then.”

“I won’t mind.”

**(Back to present)**

 

One part of Clexa was beating herself up that she didn’t join in on the tour. Why did she have loads of stuff to do? Why couldn’t she be with the commander of her heart? More importantly, would this ruin their relationship? Would this other blonde fuck things up between them? She picks up her phone only to see a snapchat on Lexa and Inga on McDonalds somewhere in Stockholm, munching burgers. Said phone is then being thrown into the nearest wall, crashing into pieces. Clarke barely regrets it. One look, she knows the phone is dead as a stone. One can only hope that that’s not the case with her relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for such a cliffhanger guys, but I promise that Clexa is endgame. Have a lovely Weekend! :D


	54. Party after dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is partying like crazy and Anna is at home feeling miserable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone! To all of you not celebrating I want to wish you happy holidays!
> 
> I am sorry for taking this long to update again. I actually planned on publishing it in time before Christmas, but I didn't have time. Thank you for staying with this work and still sending your love even though I haven't had much inspiration lately. It is your comments which sparked my fire for writing once again and I'm so thankful for you guys.
> 
> As always I hope you'll enjoy the update and keep letting me know what you think. Be safe and have a good week!
> 
> XOXO

**Lexa**

The tall drummer was staring confusedly at her phone. Did her girlfriend turn off the call like that? Did Clarke act like an overly jealous girlfriend a second ago?

The alcohol was starting to make Lexa’s head spin more than it should. She was at a bar with someone she hardly knew. They were at the lounge section, sitting in a comfortable booth. This was a moment that Lexa was extremely glad she sat down. The entire room was swaying back and forth, but she was sober enough to admit she had had too much to drink.

Inga went to get them some water after muttering that she had troubles standing up. What a mess, was one of the first thoughts the American had. She and the band had loads of things to do in the morning and she was still out clubbing. A quick check on her watch, after four.

“Fuck!”

She sighed as she accepted a glass from the blonde who actually made her way to and from the bar without much problem.

“Yeah, that would be fun!” Inga snickered with a dangerous twinkle in her eyes.

The foreigner decided to let that insinuation slip and started drinking. Feeling the cold and soothing water running down her throat made her feel better about herself. Making her head start to work a bit better again.

Thoughts of a very angry Clarke reappeared in her mind. Even though they were miles apart she knew. She was most probably fucked. Should she call her again? Text her? A single tear decided it was a good time to appear on her face as Inga eyed her closely.

“Maybe we should get you back to the hotel. It’s getting really late,” the fan looked at her idol. “You should text her when you get back to the room to tell her that you’re back there. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“What if she doesn’t want to see me again? What if I have ruined everything?” Lexa started sobbing.

The thought of her and her soulmate making up just to make matters worse again made her feel like her soul was ripping apart. She didn’t want to be without her girlfriend. The distance was slowly killing her. The alcohol was probably also to blame for making her feel so much and not being able to conceal her emotions.

“Seriously? What have you done that you shouldn’t have? You’re allowed to go out and have fun, right?”

“Yeah.”

“We haven’t done anything inappropriate?”

“No, we’ve only danced our asses off.”

“Yes, we’ve danced and laughed and drank way too much liquor.”

“That’s true.”

“So, why are you letting her jealousy take over a very fine evening?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“Let’s drink up and go get you a cab.”

They left the club and the deafening bass without uttering a word. Both women in their own minds. Lexa thought back on her evening and realized she had had so much fun. Inga was a very good dancer and they had been swirling around to salsa, disco, some Swedish style of dance and loads of funny dances. Neither of them had cared that it didn’t fit to the techno/dancehall that they were playing there, but they had fun together.

Was that not something important? To have fun and not care about what everyone else said? Someone had told her that. Someone very important. Costia was that someone. They had been dancing on their wedding reception and Lexa had been over conscious about her dance moves. The couple had been twirling around the floor and started making funny moves as Lexa had started to get red-faced. Something her wife had noticed.

“Don’t think about what other’s might think. It’s important to have fun. You do what makes you feel good.”

That made the taller woman relax and enjoy herself more. Pretending to do the shopping cart move at the dance floor. Her wife joining in. Such an amazing day it had been.

“Here’s your cab. Where do you live?” Inga woke up the taller woman from her day dreams.

“Huh?”

“What hotel is it?”

Lexa looked it up on her phone and told the driver before she looked at a very sad Swede. They had had a fun evening, but both knew that they would likely never meet again. It was a sad thought, but life would move on. At least Lexa hoped that her girlfriend wouldn’t stay mad at her for long.

“Thank you for a great evening.”

The American hugged the Swede tight for a moment. As they said their goodbyes, she couldn’t help but notice that she smelled a bit of smoke and alcohol. She bet that she smelled the same. Her roommate would most likely kill her if she could smell her too much. She would need a shower when she got to the hotel.

“Thank you, be safe and I hope you’ll have a great tour.”

While jumping into a black Volvo, Lexa noticed the extremely comfortable leather seats. The driver had been notified of where he was going and she could finally relax for a bit. Forget the world around her and only surf on her alcohol still lingering in her veins. It was such a comfy seat she could feel herself drift away to sleep.

 

**Anna**

The cop had started to settle in for the evening. A warm soup at the table in front of her. The TV was on and she had started watching the last episode of Wynonna Earp. Such a great show, according to her.

Her cat was laying in the cat tree, looking at her judgmentally. She knew her new shifts was the worst. Always new hours every day.

She was feeling a bit sorry for herself, the love of her life was on a tour and wouldn’t get back in ages. That's why she walked to the fridge to get some Coke. Should she pour some rum in it? No, she shouldn’t. A small sigh escaped her lips as she went back to her couch.

Her thoughts now on the screen and two beautiful women kissing. Damn, she wished that was her and someone else. Someone she knew she couldn’t have. They could have had a life together. A wonderful life with loads of love. Anna knew she would’ve quit her police career to follow Sophie on her tours. She wouldn’t have minded being a housewife either. Anything for that beefy redhead. They would probably have stayed in the states. Or moved back to Sweden.

Anna missed her family back home in Gothenburg. Her loving parents, her amazing little sister. Working in the Swedish police department was way different. Sometimes in a good way. Excessive violence from the cop was frowned upon in Sweden. Anna had to reason with people, it worked out fine most of the times. Here, the people she had to bring into custody couldn’t be reasoned with.

The sour feeling of home sickness started to prickle inside of her body and the Coke didn’t help much. Nor did it help that her fluffy baby jumped up in her lap and wanted to be petted. Her family, her friends. Everything was so different here. She still had trouble to remember wearing shoes walking into someone else’s home.

She missed her delicious chips that were nowhere to be found here and that her family had to send in packages from time to time. The candy. The atmosphere. She gave some cuddles to a purring ball of fluff before she finished her, now pretty cold, soup.

Why had she moved here? Why did she really? Was it a smart move at all? All she got from it had so far been, falling in love with someone she couldn’t have. Also known as a broken heart. Friends, who she didn’t know how close they really were. Doubts about her occupation. A new sport and a team she didn’t know if she loved for the sport and the team themselves or if it was because of someone special.

Anna couldn’t be strong anymore. She was an emotional mess and she was one phone call away to leave this country and never come back. One more shitty thing thrown at her by life and she would go. Not even look back. Who would miss her here? No one. Sophie wouldn’t even notice. Everyone only came to her as a plan D or whatever. She was never the first choice here. What did she do wrong?

As of queue or fate or whatever, the doorbell rang. Anna was so deep inside of her damaging thoughts that she barely noticed. Her tears streaming down her face as she walked to her door like a robot. She couldn’t care less that her shirt was half way see through either because of her tears. Opening the door, she saw Clarke on the other side. Her shirt also wetted from sobbing. All her face gleaming from it.

“Clarke, what are you doing here?” Anna said through her sniffles.

“I needed to see a friendly face. Can I come in?”

“Why didn’t you see Raven or Octavia?”

“I wanted to see you.”

For the first time in ages, Anna felt a bit of warmth spreading inside of her. Finally, she felt a bit accepted. Maybe, she thought, maybe I do belong here and with these people after all.


	55. What friends are for

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anna and Clarke have a spontaneous evening together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! 
> 
> As always I want to thank you all for the love and comments I've got. You guys are the reason I'm still able to write on this work. Here is a little treat for you guys, a thank you for having the patience to wait for my updates.
> 
> I hope you'll like it and I look forward to hearing what you guys think. Is there something you wish to see in future chapters? Let me know, your ideas are the best!
> 
> XOXO

**Clarke**

Never had she felt her heart drop as fast around anyone like it did know. Seeing the strong and tall Swede bawling her eyes out was neither something she was used to nor prepared for. She was only planning on doing that herself. Trying to get some comfort since her girlfriend had been an ass. Or maybe, she hadn’t.

Clarke, you know she might have only been dancing with that girl. Still some intrusive thoughts of the Swede and her lover made it into her head as she plunged herself into Anna’s slender, but strong, arms. The latter looked confusedly and sadly at her friend. Her deep brown eyes filled with a pain the other couldn’t know. Clarke frowned at her pal while Anna showed her inside.

“Come in, do you want anything to drink?”

“Um, do you have that drink, what’s it called? Trocadero?”

“Actually, my parents just sent me a bottle of it. Let’s break it together.”

Anna went to the fridge and got back with a big bottle with a yellowish label and a golden sparkly liquid. It had once upon a time been one of Clarke’s favorite beverages, when Sophie had introduced her to it. She got extremely happy now that she could taste it again.

“This used to be my favorite. How come you have it?”

“Do you really need to ask?”

No, Clarke didn’t need to ask. Most likely had that woman asked her family to send the exotic drink to her since Sophie loved it just as much as herself. Now, she would waste it on her.

“In that case, save it for her.”

“No, my friend is upset. I am upset. Maybe something sweet will cheer us up.”

Anna poured it into some cheap glasses from Ikea, before the two took some sips from the amazing liquid. Tasting the sugar and the distinctive taste of something delicious. Clarke had never been able to tell what that delicious something was.

“Can I start?” Clarke asked as she enjoyed her non-alcoholic drink.

“Yeah, shoot.”

“Lexa facetimed me from a nightclub where she was dancing with some fan. It looked very much like she would do something she’ll regret later.”

“Was she drunk?”

“Yes.”

“Did she seem to have fun?”

“Yes.”

“Do you really think Lexa would be unfaithful to you?”

That made Clarke think, really think. Her guts told her that no, Lexa would never do something like that to her. The braincells on the other hand reminded her of the incident with Finn and that there was a possibility that she would do something with that Inga girl.

“I don’t think she would. Do you?”

“Oh, honey, she looks at you like a puppy awaiting their treat. She’s not doing anything with anyone else. I can bet on that.”

“I thought it was illegal for cops to bet.”

Anna threw a small cushion on Clarke in response. It was a purple and silky one. Clarke only laughed at the action.

“Yeah, but I’m not only a good girl!” Anna joked before she got all serious again.

The art student felt the weight on her own shoulders decrease by the fact that her friend thought Lexa would be a good girlfriend. That meant more to her than she had expected. Now, she regretted throwing her phone into the wall. That mattered less now, since she saw big ass crocodile tears escape Anna’s eyes.

“What’s on your mind?”

“I’m feeling homesick. Like I haven’t accomplished anything since I got here. I feel like I’m not good enough and that I should return home.”

“I’ve heard that home is where your heart is and I believe that your heart is in Sweden right now, but she’ll come back.”

“Fucking hell, I can’t have her. No matter my thoughts of having a polyamorous relationship, I don’t think they’ll agree.”

“You’ll have to get over her. There’s someone else for you. And seriously, you think you could share her?”

“I think so, I seriously think I wouldn’t mind having a relationship like that. Not so sure about their feelings though.”

“Um, well…And on the fact that you indeed have accomplished something here. I’ve heard that you and your team have won a couple of games.”

“Not because of me.”

“Sophie didn’t make all the touchdowns herself.”

Did the officer get all red faced over that tiny compliment? Clarke giggled at that while Anna shook her head.

“That’s true.”

“You’ve got friends here as well.”

The look in the homesick woman’s face seemed so happy and content by that comment that Clarke couldn’t stop smiling and give her another hug. She liked hugs, they were awesome. This woman was a pro hugger as well, she could understand why Sophie had a crush on her. That redhead was like an open book to anyone who knew her. Sometimes it was a very bad thing and sometimes a good one.

“Thank you, Clarke, for being such a good friend even if things are a bit weird.”

“Weird in what way? I think Raven tackled you into our hearts over here.”

“That definitely made it to my top ten strangest nice things someone has ever told me.”

“I’m happy that I made your top ten, can’t you make it top five?”

For the first time in years, Clarke realized that she was the worst person to try to cheer someone else up. It seemed to work rather well though, which confused her. She could almost see the dimples in the other woman’s face when she smiled. Suddenly she got hit by the other’s beauty. How could no one have swept this gorgeous and charming lady away already. Taken her on a white horse and ridden off into the sunset or whatever. Looking a bit closer, she knew that Anna would be the one steering the horse though.

“Hey, you’ve got school tomorrow or do you want to watch a movie?”

“I have a late class tomorrow, movie sounds nice.”

“Wanna watch ‘Saving face?’”

“Oh yes, that movie is incredible.”

Anna got up to grab them some more drinks and get them some snacks. For a moment, the two women forgot why they had been sad. As they watched the wonderful tale of two women falling in love against seemingly impossible odds for one of them. The room was all full of smiles.

As the movie ended, the dark thoughts came back. Clarke was still nervous about her lover. Anna seemed lost in thoughts for a little bit before she turned hastily to Clarke.

"Hey, I have never heard of how you met Sophie. Do you want to share?”

“Do you really think that talking about your reason to a broken heart even more will make you like her less?”

“No, but I’m curious and I’m hoping that will help me get over her.”

“I’m pretty sure it won’t.”

 

**_(Flashback to around 7 years ago)_ **

Clarke was starting college and she would finally be doing what her mom wanted her to do. Study medicine, become a doctor. She got to the dorms a couple of weeks before the term was about to start. Some people would get there later because of various reasons. All she knew about her roommate was that she would get there before the term started because she came from another country. What if her English sucked? What if they wouldn’t agree with each other? These would be painful years in that case.

Abby had helped Clarke move her stuff and when they were done getting everything into the room, they went for a quick lunch at a KFC. Both knew how unhealthy it was, but sometimes your body deserved a treat. Getting back to her room, without Abby, Clarke felt a bit lost. This was the first time she moved away from her parents’ house. The first time she was alone.

Without thinking about anything but her loneliness, she opened the door to the room. Jumping high at the sight of her roommate. Who was practically laying on a yoga mat, her head in the floor and her legs high in the air. Wearing nothing more than tight yoga pants and a sports bra. Super straight Clarke suddenly became very aware of how visible this girl’s abs were. Much more than that douchebag Finn. Her legs, arms and her entire body seemed more muscular and flexible beyond her dreams. She did start to wonder what that body was capable of.

“So you’re the roommate?” Clarke coughed.

The dark blonde girl fell flat on the floor. She had had her eyes closed, probably focusing on her breathing.

“Oh, fuck!”

The muscle pack had apparently hit her tailbone in the fall, because she was holding her hand there as she got up, doing painful grimaces.

“We could probably do that later.”

Did you actually say that Clarke? That’s stupid, that’s not good, that’s weird. You’re straight. The girl in front of her showed of her crooked smile and her eyes bore into her soul. Making Clarke shiver. Making her feel like she was not straight. If a guy could hurt her like that, a girl could probably do that as well. If she had a body like this one though. She wouldn’t mind a bit.

“I’m Sophie, I’m gay.”

“I’m Clarke, I’m questioning my sexuality right now.”

The other woman started to chuckle. Before she got really tensed.

“You cannot tell my friends that I do yoga, I’m trying to keep a cool image here.”

“I could see that while you fell into the floor.”

“You see, you only needed to walk into the room to make me fall for you.”

It was Clarke’s time to chuckle nervously and tense up a bit. Feeling her face turn redder than ketchup. She knew that she was going to fall for this woman. Her heart was already beating faster than a drum.

“Um, do you want to join me and some friends for a party tonight?”

“Sure, that would be fun!”

That evening, she would meet the entire gang for the first time.

**_(Back to the present)_ **

Anna’s mouth was slightly agape.

“Did this seriously happen?”

“Yes.”

“No way!”

“From the moment we met. I was planning on playing heard to get…”

“You guys fucked the first night.”

“No. I got too drunk. The second one.”

“You crazy ass, it was easy to make you question yourself.”

The taller woman started to laugh at Clarke’s lust. Then she got all quiet and serious again.

“I would’ve done it too.”

Then both of them started to laugh without any reason whatsoever. They had a laughing fit, and Clarke had to leave in the middle of it to not get home too late. Leaving her friend’s place, she was thankful she could be one of the reasons to turn the other woman’s frown upside down.


	56. Three is the magic number

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sophie dreams a kind of good dream and has an honest heart to heart with Monroe. Raven and Anna discusses something they think will work out nicely and there is some more background story for Raven, I know, finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!  
> I can't say it enough how much your comments and love for this story encourages me to keep writing. This will be my last update for this year and I hope it will leave you wanting more for the next one. I hope you'll all have a wonderful ending of 2017 and an even better beginning of 2018. May your wishes come true. For me this has been a very interesting year with ups and downs, but I feel like I've made some good friends thanks to fanfiction.
> 
> As always I hope you'll like this chapter and let me know what you think. Love you guys! Be safe out there this New Year.
> 
> TW: Mentioning drug abuse
> 
> XOXO

**Sophie**

_The redhead was suddenly standing on the top of a mountain. A wonderful amount of snow everywhere she looked. Beautiful, soft snow. Her ski boots fitted her perfectly and her girlfriend was standing next to her on a skateboard. Raven in a full ski suit with helmet and goggles, looking like she could take over the world. The woman wore a teasing smirk, looking like she was up to no good.  
_

_“The one who gets down the hill first wears the strap-on tonight.” She said before she took off._

_Sophie hurried away as fast as she could downhill, feeling her skis following her every move. The snow underneath her making it so easy for her. She turned around to see how her lover was doing, Raven was now sitting on her ass. Sophie had to remind herself of the competition, her girlfriend seemed fine. Almost as fast as she had started going, she was done with the hill. Raven coming down quite sometime later._

_“I knew you’d win. Let’s say we take the after ski now.”_

_Sophie thought she meant beer, so they went back to their cabin. They took off their outer layer of clothes before the redhead opened the fridge. Raven only pushed herself against the door. Told Sophie to take her tight then and as hard as she possibly could. Her dark eyes looking much darker than usual by the want and need. Sophie started to undress herself and then helped Raven until she saw beautiful, soft and olive colored skin. The most beautiful color in the world. She was going in for a kiss but the scenery changed._

_The two were in a room at the hospital. Raven was laying on the bed, holding Sophie’s hand. Squeezing so hard the later thought she would lose all senses, but it was all worth it. There was a wonderful baby bump at Raven’s belly and Sophie couldn’t be prouder that she had helped creating something amazing. She had been in on the action to get a new life started. They would become parents. Raven pushed and fought hard to get the little life out of her. Being as brave and stubborn as only she could be. Sophie were there, telling her to breathe, the proudest wife of them all. After a few very long minutes, Raven got to hold a gorgeous baby boy in her arms. Telling her wife to see him. He looked just like a perfect mixture of them. Raven’s hazel eyes and Sophie’s wide cheek bones. Anna came in to congratulate them. Telling the couple that she could see the two of them in the baby. Sophie could feel a tear of pride prickle down her cheek. She was so happy and proud of her amazing family. All three of them._

 

She woke up with a bang, all three of them? Baby, Raven and Anna? What the? Her breathing was heavy and she felt her head spinning. Firstly, she thought it was the alcohol she had consumed the night before. Then she realized that this had nothing to do with it. Was this a way for her unconscious to tell her that she was polyamorous? That she wanted a baby with Raven? So many questions and so little brain function before coffee.

Her thoughts were a mess, like, a real mess. She needed someone to talk to and that would preferably be now. Someone who knew her and wouldn’t judge her. Turning around, she saw Monroe sitting on their bed, watching pictures on their camera. Smiling with their mouth but not their eyes. They were missing home too. Or more accurately their family.

“Morning Monroe!” Sophie said with her raspy morning voice.

“Oh, morning. I didn’t realize you were up.”

“How are you holding up?”

“I’m okay, missing Harper and little Jessica. They seem to be fine though.”

They put away their camera to sit on their friend’s bed by her feet.

“Yeah, I’m missing Raven too.”

“Only Raven?”

Sophie heaved a sigh and realized she had stuff to say, to talk about. This was her friend. They had known each other for years, planned so much stuff together. Most stuff disappearing into thin air when Sophie and Clarke split up.

“I know you were good at hiding your feelings for Raven when you and Clarke were together. We couldn’t even tell, she on the other hand was not as good at it. Ask Clarke, she was extremely upset at her friend.”

“Really? I didn’t notice?”

“How she checked you out and stared at you with heart eyes all the time?”

“Um, maybe. I don’t know.”

“It’s still hilarious that you basically never hang around just the two of you after your ski trip.”

“We only did that once after, as long as me and Clarke were together.”

“Yeah?”

“Raven had fallen ill from a cold and all of you guys were all like ‘we don’t want to catch a germ’ or whatever. I thought that since she was living in the same house anyway, I could be nice to her.”

“That sounds like you.”

“Indeed, well I brought some ice-cream and Gammeldansk.”

“Oh no, not that disgusting Danish alcohol. The one you make everyone try and most people seem to hate it?”

“That one, but I love it and if I’ve got a cough I usually take some and it helps. My mom used to say it was cough medicine. Anyway, I went to her apartment and she opened the door wearing a pajama with unicorns and she looked totally adorable. I told her that I wanted to take care of her a bit and she started crying. No one had ever taken care of her when she had been sick before. It broke my heart, so I told her to get back to bed, because she was pale as fuck. I made her some tea, gave her some ice-cream, the ‘cough medicine’ and helped her with some stuff she needed doing. I even did her washes.”

“Had no one…”

“Not even her parents. They had left her at home when she was still living at home as long as she could remember. She had been left at home with some food in the fridge, but that was all the care she got.”

“Oh shit, that’s some really bad parenting right there.”

“Yeah, when I was done and had to go back to my place. You have no idea of how thankful she was. How much that had helped her.”

“I bet. I’m upset with her parents though, she’s barely told us about the life before she came to our college. Were they all bad?”

“Mostly, they never showed emotions, love. They were machines, working. That’s basically all I know. Which leads me to what I needed to talk about.”

“What I was trying to talk with you about as well I guess? I mean, Raven was so hurt for all those years you and Clarke were together. Can you bring all that pain to another girl? Anna deserves better than that Sophie.”

“What do you think I should do? Ask her to not even be my friend anymore? Remove her from my life? I love her too you know.”

“I know, that’s why I think you guys should have a polyamorous relationship.”

Sophie coughed as she sit up in her bed. Why was her friend inside of her head? What else magic talents did Monroe possess?

“What do you mean? I just told you some of the reasons Raven might have trust issues and you tell me we should go poly? Did I tell you about the dream I had this morning, that Raven gave birth to a baby boy?”

“Are you trying to change the subject? But no, you didn’t, I guessed that you still wanted kids. Have you told Raven?”

“I don’t think so. Let’s get some breakfast.”

The redhead tried to leave the bed, but the other person didn’t let her.

“I’m not a fan of polyamory, but that’s only because I’m monogamous and only want to be with Harper. There’s nothing wrong with being in a relationship with more than one person if all parties know about it, there’s good communication and it works for all parties.”

“I don’t know. I think it’s more than enough to handle one woman. How would I be able to keep two happy?”

“You’ll find a way with your charm I guess. I think you should at least consider it and talk with the other two about it. For Anna’s sake.”

“But I told her that friendship is all I can give to her.”

“A person can change their mind, no?”

“You’re right. You’re perfectly right.”

“Let’s eat breakfast now, I don’t want you to be hangry on the plane later.”

 

**Raven**

Sleep was non-existing that night. Loads of pictures of Sophie with other girls was flashing before her eyes when she tried to sleep and if that wasn’t the case it was Finn. Raven’s old life, the one she wanted to keep safely hidden even for her unconscious. The memories of drugs, parents who didn’t care, a boyfriend who she was taking the drugs with. She shivered at the thought. Remembering how she started with some weed, feeling like the king of the world. Ending with coke and other stuff. She didn’t even want to think about it. Finn and she had had an open relationship. Neither of them had been faithful to each other and they barely communicated about it. Raven had always been good with safe sex and “safe” needles.

The only reason she had become angry at Finn’s cheating with Clarke was probably because the two girls had become friends and because that asshole didn’t even tell Clarke he had a girlfriend.

Most of the times before she even met Clarke, Raven had slept with people to get free tickets to the high road. Women, men, she hadn’t cared even if she hadn’t get turned on by anyone. Finn didn’t make her feel alive, happy, safe. He encouraged her to keep on with her bad living. He made her feel like a human being though, he cared for her in his way. The other's weren't much considerate. They mostly came to her for a couple of minutes and left when they were done. She felt a bit like air to them, as well as she treated them like it.

When her and Finn separated, so did Raven’s love for messing up her own life leave. That was partially how she could start a new life.

Laying in Sophie’s bed, she felt so lucky to be able to get out of it. To finally find someone who treated her like a queen. Someone who made her feel loved, cherished, joyful and thankful every single day. She was hot, charming, intelligent and funny. What more could she ask for? Her partner gave her so much and lifted her up more than she could’ve ever imagined. She had troubles to believe it happened and understand how she was worth it. Also, the question she asked herself was, how could she repay it? Raven could only think of one thing.

That was why she ended up at Anna’s place at two o'clock in the morning. Ringing the bell while realizing it was a stupid decision. The problem she sometimes had was obviously like this. When she had thought of something she wanted to do or say, she wanted to do it right away. Just like this time.

A zombie version of Anna opened while wearing a Batman pajamas. Making Raven smile, she remembered that Batman was Sophie’s favorite superhero. She was a DC girl, Raven herself was Marvel. It worked out fine anyway.

“Raven, the fuck?” Anna tried to rub her eyes while she showed the other woman inside of her apartment.

“You’re going to need coffee.”

“Why?”

“This is a conversation you’re going to love.”

The tall cop didn’t even have the energy to sound surprised or anything. She only went to the coffeemaker and started to fill it up with coffee and water. Only mumbling some Swedish swearwords, still being half asleep.

“Have you heard of polyamorous relationships?”

Anna dropped the can with coffee beans to the floor, suddenly wide awake. She turned around faster than lightning and stared at Raven with big and scared eyes. Like she didn’t even dare to think about what was coming next.

“Hell yes! I’m in!”

“What?”

Raven could feel her jaw drop at that.

“Oh, maybe that wasn’t what you wanted to talk about.”

The Swede went to clean up the beans and pick out some new ones and make proper coffee. Raven could see the other woman dropping her shoulders and hanging with her head while doing it.

“That was exactly what I was talking about, I was only surprised you were so excited about it.”

Anna turned on the coffee and sat down next to Raven on the couch.

“You know, I’d rather be one of Sophie’s girlfriends than only her friend.”

“Would you mind, sharing?”

“I mean, I would have a romantic relationship with her in the case she’s on as well, right?”

“You would, as would I.”

“Both would have a sexual relationship with her as well, right?”

“We would. Maybe throw in some threesomes here and there.”

“I wouldn’t mind.”

“But we wouldn’t have a relationship with each other you and I.”

“We will need to communicate really good. Make up rules and stuff if this is going to work.”

The tall woman was jumping in her seat. Raven was not as excited, but she knew this would be best for her woman. This would be a good way to show her how much she cared, right? Anna was now hugging her and looking so happy she might tear her own face with her smile. Raven didn’t know if she had ever seen her this happy before. That made her feel a bit better about this whole deal.

“Let’s facetime her and ask!” Anna said while calling on her cell.

“Hello?” Sophie said on the other end sitting on her bed with newly showered hair.

“Hi!” Raven and Sophie said together.

“Oh my God, what is happening? Why are neither of you asleep?”

“We have something to ask you.”

They could see the other woman getting extremely nervous, she was starting to touch her side cut and scratching her face a bit.

“Oh, okay, what about?”

“How would you like two girlfriends?”

They could see her eyes widen so much it looked like they would pop out. Before Sophie dropped her phone and the other two could only see the roof.

“Hello? Are you still there?” Raven asked getting all nervous.

Then she started wondering if this was a bad idea after all. Oh God, what had she done?


	57. Is this happening?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven, Sophie and Anna are having a talk and Lincoln seems to be everyone's therapist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> I would like to start with thanking you all. You readers have the patience of angels, dealing with my writer's block periods like pro's. I love your input, your comments and kudos. Hopefully, you won't have to wait three months for the next update. I was planning on updating last Weekend, but my back got hurt at work, which meant me in a lying position in my couch last Weekend. Thankfully, I could still play video games.
> 
> For me, this chapter was interesting to write and I hope you'll like it! Have a great Weekend everyone and take care!
> 
> XOXO

**Anna**

Fuck this shit, was the first thought Anna got when Sophie dropped her phone. Had she and Raven given Sophie a minor heart-attack? Was her love only surprised? Was she happy with the idea? Her thoughts were spinning and her anxiety gripped a hold of her heart. She started massaging her chest in an attempt to ease the pain, but it didn’t work. What if the other Swede wouldn’t want her after all?

No answer after five minutes of Anna and Raven staring anxiously at the phone. Both hoping that everything would work out fine. Anna started rubbing her neck and Raven started fiddling with a strand of hair, both humming on different songs. They couldn’t handle the silence.

“You serious?” Finally, an answer from the other end.

Two very green and beautiful eyes were looking at them again. It was a funny thing with her eyes. Anna had noticed that they seemed to change color based on Sophie’s mood or what she was wearing. She had never seen them this dark green before though. It was like a northern Swedish forest staring back at her. There wasn’t even a hint of a smile from Sophie.

“Yes, we are. We think it would work out,” Raven said, while sounding uncertain.

“We had this discussion just before we called,” Anna agreed.

“It’s nice to know that I’m involved.” Sophie seemed to be more irritated than Anna had ever seen her before.

She could feel her heart pounding and her face burning in shame now, why couldn’t they take it face to face, all three of them? This was apparently a bad idea. The hope she had before the call was gone almost as fast. Her heart sinking to the bottom of the sea again. The woman this was concerning didn’t seem interested.

Raven on the other hand got annoyed with her girlfriend and she couldn’t calm down at all. She probably thought she made a great sacrifice and that Sophie should be thankful that she had such an understanding partner. Anna sighed at the two who started quarreling for real.

“Like you haven’t thought about it? You know how painful it was for you and me when you were together with Clarke? Do you really want to go through with that again? Put Anna through that?”

“Are you serious Raven? It wouldn’t have worked with a poly relationship with Clarke. She would probably have killed you.”

“If I didn’t kill her first.”

“What?” Both Sophie and Anna said.

“I didn’t mean anything by it, just that I know a thing or two about the human body that she doesn’t.”

“She studied physiology and anatomy, I think she knows stuff too.”

“I think this conversation is going out of hand.” Anna had to stop the other’s.

They wouldn’t be able to keep up a normal conversation if this got weirder than it already had. She could feel her inner officer starting to show as she shushed the couple and tried to talk some sense into them. They were adults after all, they could at least have a grown-up conversation about this.

“I truly believe that we can make this work. As long as we make up some rules and always talk about our feelings,” Anna said.

“No jealousy? Like Raven can handle not strangling you if you decide to randomly kiss me when we’re watching a movie or something.” Sophie was not convinced, nor was Anna, not really.

She suddenly remembered the first time she had met Raven. The anger and suspicion the tiny woman was radiating towards her. It was so intense that the tall woman didn’t know what to do with herself. How Raven had smartly used her naturally lower stance to get a good tackle. Anna still got flashbacks to that tackle even when other people tackled her. Yeah, this was not going to work out well, was it? The three women fell silent again. One could almost feel the tension, taste the irritation. Raven looked mad to say the least. Her eyes were flaming, her teeth bare. Sophie rolled her eyes and pointed at her girlfriend while chuckling.

“Exactly what I mean!” Said Sophie.

Raven caught what she meant and tried to calm down a bit. Anna started stomping her feet in the floor, her hands fiddling with her phone. Since the others couldn’t stay calm, she had to channel her inner diplomat. This conversation would turn into a total fiasco otherwise.

“Listen up girls, either we have a serious conversation about this. Or, we forget this ever happened. Sophie, quit pretending you’re hurt that we didn’t involve you in this before. Seriously, all the times we had threesomes before, my guess is that you’ve thought about this. Raven, stop getting mad that we’re approaching your jealousy. We need to sort these types of things out if it’s going to work. I know that I’ll have to work on not trying to kiss or touch Sophie every moment I can. I also know I’ll have to try my best not to get mad when you guys want to be romantic together. We’ll just have to talk this through.”

The other women looked at her with wide eyes and their mouths agape. Did Anna put her foot down? After a couple of seconds, the couple got their acts together and started a normal conversation that Anna could appreciate as well. Trying to figure stuff out, together. The three of them.

Finally, her heart felt a little less empty and she thought she had found her home. Her safe haven. The thought of her being able to be alone with Sophie, having her as her girlfriend. That thought lifted her spirits more than anything had done lately. Her anxiety finally lifting. Her head less clouded with storm clouds and now filled more with sunshine. She could feel the rush of adrenaline as she thought of being cuddly and romantic with the woman of her dreams. Knowing that she would be more than her dream girl, made her think that she had finally found her place in society. She knew now, she hadn’t moved to the States in vain.

 

**Lincoln**

The big guy was towering over everyone walking through the lobby, while waiting for his friends to join him for lunch. How much time would they need? They had decided on a time, which made him look at his phone. Ten minutes late, what were the others doing? Women, he sighed for a minute before he saw his best friend appear. Though, she wouldn’t join the band for lunch, her cousin and his girlfriend would take her someplace. She had got an emergency call from them and told Lincoln about it. Her cousin had sounded both happy and sad when he told her they really needed to meet.

She looked pale, confused, she also looked like she had won some sort of lottery but couldn’t believe it herself. The likeness to a ghost hit him as well, what had happened to his friend? He had no idea whatsoever. Sophie only gave him a hug, resting her head on his chest for a minute. Like she tried to draw some strength from him.

“What’s happened to you?” Lincoln scratched his stubble.

“I was video chatting,” her eyes flicking from one place to another.

“With your girlfriend.”

“Girlfriends.”

It was now the tanned guy’s turn to get confused. Was she talking about the fact that she had many friends who were girls, therefore girlfriends? Was she talking about the fact that she had more than one girlfriend? He was more puzzled by this than he would care to admit. Lincoln never thought his friend would stop being monogamous. He just couldn’t see her handling more than one person at a time. Especially, since Raven had kind of a jealous streak. He remembered how badly she handled Sophie’s relationship with Clarke years ago. She didn’t hide her feelings well.

“Girlfriends?”

“Hmm, yes. How am I supposed to please two women? It’s hard enough with one?”

With that comment, she left Lincoln bewildered in the lobby, and went outside. He stood there, frozen to the ground. Still trying to figure out what this meant. Trying harder than before to process the information he had received correctly. Had the world gone mad? Was the first thing that hit him. That must be the one reason something like that had happened. He sighed as he realized that this information couldn’t be handled by his brain today. It was too much for him.

“I would need some sleep for once, you guys are killing me.”

Turning around, he saw a muttering Felisa who looked like she hadn’t slept in ages. She had visible bags underneath her eyes and her movements were incredibly slow. She was yawning and stretching like she had just got out of bed.

“You look like shit, what happened?” Lincoln couldn’t help himself.

He was still pissed at this woman for hurting his friend and he didn’t trust her one bit. Felisa always looked at Sophie like she was the moon, overwhelming her with her beauty. There was apparently no getting over his bff. Did he just call Sophie his bff in his head? That’s so lame, though it was true. Maybe his sister in arms? That’s just weird. He left his braincells bickering for a moment to listen to his manager.

“I had to take a cab to every fucking hotel in Stockholm to find Lexa. She had given the cab driver the wrong fucking, helvetes, jävla address.”

“My guess is that she had a good time tonight.”

“Yeah, until she was left outside a closed hotel for an hour before I found her.”

“Then you didn’t have to go to every hotel?”

“No, I was lucky.”

Lincoln started shifting his weight from one foot to the other, not knowing what the woman next to him had expected him to say. After a little while she sighed and made a comment that they needed to hurry up, she had booked a table and they couldn’t be late.

First of the latecomers coming up was Lexa. She looked like a bigger mess than Felisa. Nowhere near sober yet and her eyes seemed tired and unfocused. She was wearing a big frown on her forehead. Trying to put on her aviators and tidying up her hair as she walked.

“Have you heard anything from Clarke? She hasn’t texted me or anything in ages.”

“Like three hours, which is like, six years in lesbian time?”

“That’s a meme, not real life, Lincoln.” Lexa wasn’t amused by his joke.

No, he hadn’t heard anything from Clarke, something he told Lexa who instantly dropped her shoulders. Her face looking even paler than before. She sighed as she slumped her head on Lincoln’s shoulder. He gave his friend a gentle pet on the back. Not really knowing what to say or what went through his friend’s head.

“She got jealous tonight. Like she wanted to rip the head of the girl I was out dancing with.”

“Well, can you blame her? You’re out on a tour and you guys just made up again.”

“No, but she hung up and I never had the opportunity to tell her we only danced at the club. I had such a fun time tonight Lincoln. Until I woke up this morning and wondered if she still loved me. If she still was my girlfriend.”

“Why would you going out dancing change her feelings for you? She’s madly in love with you. I can ask Octavia to check on her for you, if you’d like?”

“That would be swell.”

Lexa gave him a lopsided grin and another hug. Looking like the world wasn’t such a cruel place after all. Lincoln on the other hand texted his girlfriend to see how things were. Then he wondered, when did he become the go-to-guy to talk about problems? He guessed that was his lot in life these coming months. He smiled as he got an answer from Octavia, saying she’ll take Cora to Clarke’s place and look into the matter. He also got a picture of Cora making orange juice with Raven. They looked like they had such a good time. He showed Lexa and both of them shared another moment, missing their child. Lincoln wondered, how in hell he would survive without his daughter for longer than this.


	58. Falling down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke gets overwhelmed by negative emotions and Sophie finally gets to meet her cousin again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> I'm so happy that you guys still read and appreciate my works. That brightens up my day and makes it easier for me to write. Unfortunately, I've got mental health issues that I've recently started to admit myself having. That's one of the main factors that I go long periods without writing.
> 
> On a funnier note, here's another chapter. Take care of each other out there, I hope you'll have a lovely Weekend and that you're all well.
> 
> TW: Depression, anxiety, hurt

**Clarke**

She had slept badly last night. More accurately, she had only fallen asleep for brief moments. Waking up again shortly after. Her mind playing her. Telling her that Lexa had been doing stuff with that blonde the entire evening. How much sex they had had. All the intimacy they had shared. The worst part of it all, she had been able to be close to her. Something that Clarke had been longing for since the moment she watched Lexa leave at the airport.

“Fuck!” Clarke screamed at her alarm as it set off around six o’clock.

Her class didn’t start before one in the afternoon, but she had forgotten to change the alarm. Otherwise it wouldn’t have woken her up in this ungodly hour in the morning. It was not like it was the alarm's fault anyway. Clarke had barely got a nap at all the entire night.

Getting up early was usually a good thing though. She liked the idea of not having to hurry to class. Just sit at home, eating breakfast and get prepared in her own pace. She looked around her room, desperate to get the picture of her girlfriend kissing someone else out of her head. A sigh escaped her as she realized how messy it was. Ever since her friends had moved out, she hadn’t had the energy to do something about it. As much as she didn’t want to confess, Octavia was pretty much the only reason the apartment had looked decent before. Octavia was kind of the perfectionist when it came to her home, but it was hard for her to keep an eye on Raven and Clarke. Both of them were rather messy people. Neither of them liked cleaning. Raven had once suggested that they would just burn their clothes and buy new ones. She hated doing laundry. The dishes would be better off exploded according to her as well, one can buy new plates and stuff. Octavia had only given her a stern look and an answer that she was just being stupid. Raven didn’t even pretend look offended.

Thinking about her friends made Clarke smile for a moment. Helping the ugly face of jealousy disappear, if so only for a moment. She missed them. How she missed Raven’s sour face in the morning before she got her coffee and toast. Octavia’s happiness as she made sure the other’s got out of bed. Strutting around the kitchen and fixing breakfast since the other two were too much of zombies in the start of the day. She was extremely close to call them, tell them they needed to move back. That she needed them there. Saying that her heart was empty now everyone was gone.

For a second, she almost wanted to move back in with Abby, her wonderful, but stern mother. Then it hit her. She had barely been in her childhood home since her father. Her thoughts trailed away to Jake and she quickly tried to shut those feelings back inside. That was too much to deal with. Even though the accident was years ago, Clarke hadn’t healed from it. Like she ever would.

He had been working when Clarke started college, that was why he couldn’t help her move into her dorm. Jake had known before Abby about Sophie’s and Clarke’s relationship. Clarke made him promise not to tell her mother, she thought she would have something against it. Jake had loved her, and he hadn’t cared one bit when Clarke came out to him. He had only said that she should be with someone who made her feel loved and who made her happy. The former couple had sometimes come home to Jake when Abby had been working nights at the hospital, drinking whisky and beer together. She remembered the watch that he loved above any material thing in the world. The watch he had bought the day Abby told him she was pregnant. How he had, during one of those whisky nights, told Sophie he was happy for them, that he wished them a long and happy life together. That he hoped she would take good care of Clarke, his only daughter. She had nodded with full sincerity, telling him that she would do anything for her. He then gave the watch to her. Telling Sophie to watch it for him. Saying it was a symbol for how much he believed in the couple. The next day, he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. He was. She just couldn’t think about him anymore.

This just got too much. Clarke started to sniffle. Her life was miserable. She missed her dad, so incredibly much. He would’ve come to her with breakfast in the morning if he knew his daughter was upset. He was the go-to for her with most things. Abby was sterner, that was why Clarke usually chose her more gentle and calm dad when things around her got heated. She could feel her chest tighten and her head get lighter as she stood up from the bed, feeling her blood pressure fall fast. The room was spinning around her as was her mind. Pictures of her father, her ex fiancée and now Lexa and that blonde. They were merging together, making it hard for Clarke to stay in the reality. She had to sit back down again. Her bed, her bed was her savior right now. Minutes passed as she sat down, hoping her mind would start to make sense again. Desperately trying to look for something that made her happy again. Seeing her trashed phone on the floor, she started weeping more. Feeling her hair starting to clump to her face as she put her face in her hands. Nothing could make her feel better it seemed. Her life was just a mess.

 

**Sophie**

Nervousness was nothing compared to what the Swede felt today. She felt sick to her stomach in the same time that she felt excited to finally meet her cousin and his girlfriend again. For the first time in years. He had sounded sad when he called, also there had been an urgency in his voice. For a moment, she stood outside the hotel, traveling down memory lane. Remembering how much David and Clara had meant to her in the past. David had got lucky, when he was fifteen, he had met a girl his age that was as into video games as him. Overall, they were just a perfect match. She had so many fond memories of them going on adventures together. Felisa usually joined. So many good days. A pang in her chest as she realized that those days were before she knew the meaning of good days and bad days. Before she had been told she was depressed. No shit, Sherlock? Had been her answer to the psychiatrist. With a childhood filled with parents who were ass hats, could she turn out normal?

Why did those thoughts invest her mind right now? Why couldn’t she just be happy that she would meet some of the most amazing people in the world today? Why couldn’t she just bask in the sunlight from the sky or the hominess of hearing her own language down the streets?

She got interrupted by her thoughts when she saw two very tall people walking closer to her. Two very tall and handsome people. Both with the famous blond hair and blue eyes that all Swedes had, of course. More likely, not. Other than that, David was very slim as he had always been. The facial features were very similar to his cousins though, broad chin, high cheekbones and a toughness that makes one think of Vikings. David’s short hair was perfectly fixed on his head with just the right amount of wax and other hair products. Clara’s was long and natural, she had always been joking about how her boyfriend took longer to get ready to go out than her.

_Authors note: Their conversation will be held in Swedish, but I’ll just write it in English, since it will take too much of my time to write both_.

“Hi! I’m so happy to see you guys again!” Sophie beamed at the couple who came marching to greet her.

“Long time, no see!” David caught her in a big and warm hug.

“It’s been ages, it’s good to see you again Fi,” It was now Clara’s turn to embrace her friend.

“I’m so sorry, I should have come here before, I should’ve…”

“No, you’re here now, that’s what counts.”

They got into a cab who drove them to the old parts of town, (Gamla stan), where they ended up at an Italian restaurant called Vapiano. Talking, joking and acting like it hadn’t been years since they last met. Sophie could still feel something weird in the air. Something that felt totally off. She tried to shake it off as they ordered, got their delicious food and had an amazing time. At the end of the dinner however, David looked like all the excitement from meeting his cousin had disappeared and been replaced by a haunting sadness. Sophie could feel shivers down her spine by his change of motion.

“So, um, I couldn’t take this on the phone, but you need to visit the hospital with us.”

“I’m okay?” Sophie’s eyes darted between the couple in front of her.

“Yes, but that’s not the case with my dad. He’s got, he’s got…”

“Is it that bad?”

“He’s got prostate cancer.”

Sophie felt her heart drop as she stood, threw money on the table and started walking out of the restaurant. Not more bad news. She couldn’t handle this, not now, not ever. Her uncle Rickard, did not deserve this. Not now, not ever.


	59. Missed you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven gets one of her better ideas again and gives Clarke a surprise while Sophie goes to the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> I seem to be in a roll at the moment with writing. Can't promise you when the next update is, but I hope to be able to write more on this story soon. 
> 
> Hoping you're having a lovely Weekend and that you're all okay out there. Thank you for showing me your love.
> 
> TW: More depression, sickness and actually some comfort
> 
> XOXO

**Raven**

Why couldn’t she sleep? It was after six in the morning. She had only got a couple of hours sleep, but it felt like days. She hadn’t been this well-rested in ages. Her mind must be tricking her, it was most likely working overtime right now.

The bed was so big and soft, yet empty. Looking over to Sophie’s side, she could feel a tear prickle down her cheek. They had barely been gone and yet she was missing her woman like crazy. The soft bed linen, bought from IKEA, didn’t help. They still smelled of her. They were red and oozed of sexiness, or maybe that was because they reminded her of her girlfriend and how much she loved that color. A whelp escaped her lips as she started to roll to the other side of bed, trying to see if she could feel her girlfriend’s presence. It didn’t work, she miscalculated the roll and ended up like a sushi roll. On the floor in her quilt. Thankfully, the fluffy rug next to the bed softened her landing.

Looking up at the ceiling, she wondered how Clarke was doing. Was she okay? They didn’t live together anymore, but she still cared about her friend. Checking her cell phone, her friend hadn’t been online in quite a few hours. This was different, she was usually pretty much online 24/7.

Getting back in bed, no position was comfortable and she was not sleepy at all. Which meant that her brain started creating various of horrible scenarios that could be the reason Clarke had got offline. She tried to call her, why care that she would most likely wake her up and make her angry? Then she would know that she was okay anyway. No signal whatsoever. She looked at her bag, realizing she still had a key to the apartment.

Getting dressed took no time at all, but planning the morning was harder. She wanted to surprise her friend, but that would need Octavia and Cora to be in on it.

Walking down to the kitchen, there was a tiny squeal from an equally tiny human. Cora was running down to Raven in her Frost pajamas.

“Raven! We need to go to Clarke!” Cora hugged Raven’s leg before giving her the puppy eyed look.

“We will, is Octavia up?”

“She is, she is choosing clothes for me. Mama called me last night and told me Clarke was mad at her. She didn’t want Clarke to be mad at her. She hadn’t done anything wrong.”

“How long did you stay up?”

The kid pretended not to hear that question before she ran back up to change clothing. Raven went rummaging through the fridge and cabinets to look for food. If she knew Clarke correctly, she hadn’t done grocery shopping in a while.

After a few minutes, she saw a pretty cheerful Octavia walking down the stairs with an even happier Cora. The latter wearing a Wonder Woman T-shirt.

“How much do you like Wonder woman?” Octavia asked.

“More than anyone else. No one can love her more than me!” Cora looked hurt that she even got the question.

Raven chuckled before she put on her stern face.

“Let’s go surprise Clarke, shall we?”

About half an hour later, they arrived at Clarke’s apartment. Raven opened the door and let them in, not a care in the world. Or one, when she opened the door. It was messier than she had ever seen it before. Clothes and stuff everywhere. She sighed while looking at her other friend.

“You guys make the breakfast, I’ll see how she is.”

Raven got a weird sensation in her gut as she put down some food items before walking to Clarke’s room. It was eerily quiet, except for some sobbing noises from in there. She gently knocked on the door while hearing Cora sing cheerfully on some Disney songs in the background.

“May I come in?”

No answer, the sobbing didn’t change.

“I’m coming in now.”

Raven opened the door to find an even messier room than the rest of the place. Clarke was sitting on the bed with her face in her hands, bawling her eyes out. She didn’t even flinch at the opening of the door. Raven sat down next to her and pulled her into a hug. Murmuring softly into Clarke’s ear that they were there now, everything would be okay. Not knowing what else to say, she repeated those words and started to stroke her friend’s hair. After a little while, she could feel the blonde’s arms snaking up around herself and a deep sigh from her.

“Thank you, I needed this.”

“I’m here for you now, I always will be.”

For a moment Raven forgot her own misery and tried her hardest to help her friend. Not knowing what to do, she just hugged her a bit harder. Hoping that Clarke’s demons would go away.

“Clarke!” Cora came into the room.

She looked all seriously at Clarke. Then she plunged herself in said woman’s lap and put her head against Clarke’s shoulder.

“Don’t cry Clarke, mommy didn’t do something bad. She just wants you to be happy.”

At that, Clarke started crying again, chocking the poor kid who hugged her closer. They looked so cute, like a real family. Raven almost got tears in her eyes herself.

She excused herself to leave the others. Joining Octavia in the kitchen, she got the feeling that this was what they all needed. Just hanging around each other a bit. Only seconds after, Cora and Clarke came walking hand in hand. Saying that they were ready for breakfast. Of course, Cora had been the one who decided on what to eat and how to lay the table. She had a very good eye with what they needed, which meant that it was pretty much a hotel breakfast served at home.There was freshly pressed juices, coffee, scrambled eggs, bacon, bread, various types of cheese and ham. You name it, it was most likely on that table and in the kitchen. They were all hungry, so they didn't waste much time before they dug in to the delicious food. 

"God, I was so hungry!" Raven moaned as she took a piece of toast to her plate.

"Me too, This was a very good idea!" Clarke beamed at the other's.

It made it all worth it for Raven. She had made her friend see the good in this world again. If so only for a little while, it was definitely worth it.

 

**Sophie**

Chains over her chest made it hard for her to breathe. She was leaning against the wall outside the restaurant, trying to remember how to get air into her lungs. It seemed that she had forgotten how. It seemed as though her entire body was working against her as she tried to use her diaphragm. No use, she was almost starting to panicking. Feeling the dizziness coming creeping in on her.

Clara was the first one to come out there and join her, just in time. Giving her an understanding look. Then wrapping her into her arms, not saying a word at first. Only letting Sophie calm herself down enough to gain oxygen into her blood cells again.

“You know, he’s going to be fine. They found it in an early stage. There will only be some treatment and he will walk out of it.”

“Are you sure? He will be fine?”

“Yes, he will be. Loads of future physiotherapy and patience, but he will be just fine.”

“Thank God!” Sophie took a deep breath. 

David joined them shortly after.

“There you are, do you have time to join us now?”

“Yes, but you freaked me out there.”

“It is a serious disease, but I guess I seemed more down than I should be. There are people having worse.”

 

As they later arrived at Karolinska Universitetssjukhuset, the hospital where Rickard was getting his treatment. Sophie wondered why she hadn’t had more contact with her relatives. Life was obviously precious and you never knew when it would end. They had meant the world the world to her. Yet, she practically cut the ties when she left for the country all those years ago. Not talking with them much, barely seeing them. The feeling of guilt filling her up again. She had pushed them away. She hadn't realized how good she was at that. Not one person was allowed to get close to her, because then she pushed them away. There was a different feeling in her heart now though, she had changed. There were people that actually got to know her. Some who whe could open up for. It had taken her many years to open up her walls, but they were no longer there. Felisa had started to help remove the stones, then Clarke and now Raven.

This was the first time she wpuld meet Rickard in a long time. Was she supposed to tell him that she had two girlfriends? Would he think that was weird? Would the family she had left think of her badly because she was polyamorous? They had accepted her and loved her when she came out as a lesbian, would this be too much for them? She hadn't even have time to tell David and Clara yet.

She was still in deep thoughts when they walked through the big entrance doors. The smell of disinfectant, illness and fear was in the air. Sophie wrinkled the nose as she almost got hit by someone in a wheelchair. Looking up she recognized the person who were driving it. That half long blonde hair and brown eyes, she looked just as she did ages ago, only a bit more adult. Looking down, she knew exactly who were in the chair. It wasn’t any relatives, even though they had once felt like family. It stung her in her chest as she realized she owed these people so much more than she had been able to give. The poor woman in the wheelchair had no hair or eyebrows. Most likely the effect of chemotherapy and probably breast cancer. Since it was a common cancer for women. Her brown eyes looked at her with so much happiness. It hurt inside that she had been so caring and giving. Now she was sick. One of the most selfless, yet determined women she had once known. Couldn’t there be some good news for once? She just hugged the weak looking woman sitting there, gently as though afraid of hurting her.

“Aw, I’ve missed you too cara mia.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, who do you guys think these mysterious people are? Let me know. :) On another note, this story is probably only going to last until they're coming back from the tour. I was thinking about making this a series and keep writing about what happens in a future work. What do you guys think of that? 
> 
> XOXO


End file.
